Chapter Three

Remus continued to stare at Sirius, watching as he absorbed the information. He chewed on his lower lip, watching Sirius gaze in disbelief at him, seeing the confusion, and then slow comprehension, flit across his face.

"Why?"

Remus frowned, sitting himself up to lean on the bed head. "If you mean why are you back...I don't know. I'm not sure anyone fully understands the veil and how it works. All I do know is that no-one...no-one...has ever come back."

Sirius shook his head. "I can't have been dead. I'd have known...wouldn't I? Shit, I don't know. I swear it was only a few minutes."

"To you, yes. But to the rest of the world... two years have gone by...and now you're back!"

Remus couldn't suppress a wild grin. He had the urge to hug Sirius to him and never let him go, but he couldn't, not yet.

Remus hadn't left the cottage for almost two years, unable to face the outside world, but with Sirius back in his life he felt he could do anything.

He pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed, reaching for his robes.

"Where are you going?" Sirius' voice had an edge of panic in it.

"We're going to go to Dumbledore. He may have answers that I don't."

They arrived at Grimmauld place less than a half hour later, and by the smile that lit Dumbledore's face it seemed they were expected.

"Welcome, dear boys. Come in."

They followed Dumbledore down into the kitchen, where Kingsley and Tonks were both sitting talking softly.

They stopped when the men entered the room.

Sirius faltered at the door, not sure he truly wanted to know what had happened to him, but Remus gripped his hand firmly with his own, gently leading him into the room.

Remus caught sight of Tonks' raised eyebrows, but ignored her, seating himself close to Sirius' side.

Dumbledore sat opposite them, his smile still in place, and his blue eyes twinkling. "Well, young Mr. Black. You've had us rather worried about you, but I see Remus here found you alright."

Remus smiled, one of the first genuine smiles in a long time. "It's no less than a miracle to have Sirius back." He squeezed the hand, still firmly in his under the table.

"But why?" Sirius croaked, turning his gaze fully on Dumbledore.

"I will answer that question in just a few moments, I promise. But I am sure you wish to know what has transpired since you left us."

Sirius' jaw hardened. It was easy to see he wanted answers immediately. He was never one to wait patiently. But with Dumbledore it was always best to let him take his own course to the truth.

Slowly he nodded.

"Excellent. Well, the last thing you must remember is of course the battle at the Ministry. After you were...stunned...I feel the other side lost their momentum. Certainly it was over very quickly after that. It took time after that for many to work through their feelings. Especially Harry and Remus."

"Harry!" Sirius burst out as though it was the first time thought of his godson had crossed his mind. "Is he ok? What happened? Where is he?"

Dumbledore smiled again. "I have great pleasure in telling you that Harry is happy and healthy. He is currently studying to be an Auror, but I believe he will be joining us here for the upcoming Christmas holidays."

"And what a present we'll have for him." Remus murmured from his side.

Sirius was frowning again.

"So...it's all over? We...won?"

"We did," came Kingsley's deep voice.

"But it cost us." Tonks added, bitterness plain in her voice.

Sirius tensed, not sure he wanted to hear anymore.

"Who?"

"You remember Harry's friends? Ron and Hermione?" Remus shifted a little closer to Sirius, wanting to protect him, but knowing it had to be said.

Sirius nodded, dread filling him. Those young, vibrant people?

"Hermione...died. In the last battle. Ron's ok, but he was hit with the Cruciatus curse and has been out of it for a while. Others died, but none I think you would have known."

"But Harry's ok?"

"Yes," Dumbledore assured him. "And now it is time to turn to your first question. The Veil."

"I want to know one thing right now. Was I dead?"

The silence in the kitchen was suffocating. Everyone's eyes were on Sirius, and just one glance at them answered his question more eloquently than any words could have.

Remus watched the warring emotions on Sirius face. He wanted to ease all his fears, all his worries. Tell him everything would be ok, but he didn't know how.

"How did I come back then? And why?"

"I have an excellent theory on that." Dumbledore leaned closer, his eyes gentle. "The same force that saved Harry, that protected him from death...has also protected you. Harry's mother protected him with the strength of her love and, if I'm not mistaken, the strength of young Remus' love for you was enough to protect you, even from death."

Remus ignored the shocked gasp that escaped from Tonks, ignored the knowing smile on Dumbledore's lips; all he saw was Sirius turning in his seat to look at him.

That deep grey gaze looked deep into his soul. One hand rose to run through Remus' hair, to slide down his cheek with such tenderness Remus felt tears prick his eyes.

Then Sirius stood, pulling Remus with him. "I need time to think."

"Of course." Dumbledore nodded, that smile still playing on his lips. "Take all the time you need."

"But what about-"Tonks began, but Dumbledore raised a hand.

"Not now, my dear. Not now."

Remus allowed himself to be led up the stairs by Sirius, allowed Sirius to pull him into the room they had once shared, watched as the door was kicked closed and watched Sirius turn towards him.

In less than a heartbeat Sirius had pulled Remus into his arms, kissing him furiously.

It was so rough, so desperate that it felt more like an attack to Remus, but he had no complaints. It had been two years since he had last tasted Sirius' lips, since he had felt those hands slide along his back as they were now.

Sirius' tongue invaded his mouth over and over, his hands pulling Remus shirt off roughly.

In the momentary pause Remus murmured, "I thought you wanted to think."

"No, Remus,' he breathed into his ear, causing a fluttering to start deep in his stomach, 'I want to feel. I want to forget everything but us."

Remus moaned softly but the sound was captured by Sirius' mouth.

They took a few stumbling steps backwards before Sirius pushed him to the bed.

This wasn't his usual Sirius, who was so gentle and loving to him. This was a man who was in pain, whose mind was tormented, a man who needed desperately to feel alive and Remus was happy to let him take whatever was needed.

"Pants off," Sirius commanded, hauling off his own clothes and tossing them carelessly aside. "Now."

Wordlessly Remus complied, wary of the strange glint in the other man's eyes. This was Sirius as he had been in the midst of battle, a dangerous force to be reckoned with.

Without preamble, Sirius threw himself roughly down upon his mate, crushing his lips to Remus'. He was already half-hard. Fiercely he rubbed his groin against the other man, his rapidly hardening erection pressing almost painfully into Remus' hip.

Sirius began licking and nuzzling his way down Remus' thin body, nipping every now and then with his teeth at a particularly sensitive area. He stopped just short of Remus' cock, surveying the other man for a long moment.

Merlin, he's almost as thin now as I was when I left Azkaban...

Remus, achingly hard, arched his hips up towards Sirius' lips, trying to stifle the pleading whine rising from his throat.

But then Sirius' mouth was on him, hot and fierce, and Remus cried out with pleasure, lost in the exquisite sensations that Sirius lavished upon him.

"God, Sirius," he breathed. "You don't... don't know... how I've missed this... missed you..."

Abruptly Sirius pulled away, Remus' cock slipping from his mouth with a wet smacking sound. He sat up, forcing Remus' legs apart and nudging his own member against Remus' entrance.

"Um," said Remus. "We haven't any... That is, I didn't know we'd be needing any lube..."

"'S okay," grunted Sirius. "We'll make do." He spat on his hand, then rubbed it along his length, trying to make it as slick as possible. But the fierce need for his mate overrode practicality, and Sirius plunged forward, heedless of Remus' shocked gasp of pain.

It took only a few minutes for both men to reach orgasm, Remus' seed spilling hotly over his belly while Sirius pumped furiously within him, collapsing with a fierce cry as he came.

After a moment, he rolled off Remus, turning away and burying his face in the pillow.

Remus propped himself up on one elbow, puzzled. "Sirius?" he asked.

Sirius muttered something incomprehensible into the pillow.

Tentatively Remus reached out a hand, gently stroking the other man's hair. "Sirius?" he asked again. "Are you alright?"

Sirius rolled onto his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. "I hurt you, Re," he said softly. "I always swore I'd never do that... And now I have."

"You didn't hurt me," Remus reassured him. "Well, alright, I'm a bit tender, but it's been two years since we... Sirius, are you crying?"

Sirius was. He flung himself at Remus, nearly knocking him off the bed, burying his face in Remus' shoulder as he wept under the sheer weight of the last forty-eight hours. "So sorry, Moony," he gasped brokenly. "I... This... And... I'm so sorry!"

"Shut up," said Remus, cradling Sirius in his arms. His arse was damn tender now, and he shifted slightly to ease it. "Stop it, Padfoot. You'll make yourself sick."

And it was alright, really, Remus realized, stroking Sirius' hair and murmuring comforting words at him. Face it, he thought, how would I feel if I'd just been told I'd been dead for two years?

Patiently he held the other man as Sirius' desperate sobs slowly abated.

Eventually Sirius raised his head. "Moony?" he said.

"Yes?" asked Remus, gently placing a kiss on Sirius' forehead.

"Am I dreaming this?"

Remus shook his head. "No."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No. Well, not much. But I understand. That is... Oh, hell," he said, wincing at the horrified expression on Sirius' stricken face.

Sirius pushed himself upright, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "What did you think of Dumbledore's explanations?" he asked, retrieving his clothes from across the room and pulling them on.

Remus shrugged. "He may well be right," he said, picking up his own clothes off the floor. "He's almost never wrong about things like that, you know."

"I know. But..." Sirius frowned. "Why did it only seem like a few minutes to me? Are you sure I was... y'know... I mean, maybe I wasn't..."

"You were dead," Remus said flatly. "I'm a werewolf, remember? You're my mate. Trust me, if anyone knew if you were dead or not, I did."

Sirius impulsively pulled Remus into his arms. "Merlin, Re..." he whispered, "it must have been horrible for you."

"Yes," Remus said simply. "It was. But it's nothing – nothing! – compared to what I feel now that you're back." He tilted his head up so that their lips met, delicate this time, full of love rather than Sirius' earlier ferocity. "Love you, Sirius," he said softly.

"Love you too, Remus," Sirius replied, kissing him again. "Now come on."

"What? Where?"

Sirius paused, one hand on the doorknob. "I've got two years to catch up on! Let's go out! Celebrate my victorious return to the land of the living and all that!"

Remus shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Er... We can't."

Sirius narrowed his eyes slightly. "And why not?" he asked.

"Well," Remus said. "Pettigrew's dead, you know."

Sirius snorted. "No great loss."

"And even though he did eventually confess everything... About James and Lily, about you... "Remus continued hurriedly. "Somehow in all the fuss, your name never got cleared. So."

"So I'm still a wanted criminal?" Sirius was aghast. "After two years? What, no one figured it mattered because I was assumed dead?"

Remus nodded uncomfortably. "Pretty much exactly how it went, actually. Hermione was making some good headway on it, but then we had the last big battle, and she... Well, she..."

"Who killed her?"

Remus coughed. "Bellatrix."

"That bitch!" yelled Sirius, slamming his hand against the wall. "I hope she rots in hell! Don't tell me she still lives, Re."

"No," Remus said grimly. "She doesn't." His eyes had taken on a haunted look, and he exhaled slowly before continuing. "I killed her myself, Sirius. For Hermione, but mostly for you. And I laughed when she died. I laughed at her."

"Shit, Re," said Sirius, remembering how Remus had always hated even the mere idea of harming another, how the thought made him cringe in terror each month as his wolf-change drew near. But, he thought, war brings out strange things in us all...

"I know what'll make you feel better," said Sirius, grinning. "We'll go visit Harry."

Remus sighed. "You can't just go popping in on people! Returning from the grave isn't something you can just spring on someone!"

"Ah, come on, Moony," Sirius cajoled. "I bet he'll be thrilled. We'll take Buckbeak."

"Er..."

"What?" asked Sirius. "Oh, Hagrid's got him, does he?"

Remus sighed again. "Sirius, you'd better sit down."

Remus could see the colour draining from Sirius' face as he sat hard on the bed.

"Buckbeak too?" he whispered, head in his hands.

"I'm sorry...if it helps at all... he died saving me. He used himself as...as a shield. I guess he must have known..."

"How much you mean to me." Sirius finished for him. His expression was soft, loving but it suddenly turned hard and he stood abruptly. "You said back in the kitchen that there were no other deaths I would need to know about...any other nasty surprises up your sleeve?"

Remus stood too, pulling the rumpled sheet with him to cover his nakedness.

"No, Sirius, that's not it...I just..."

"Forgot. How convenient that you can do that." Sirius spat, turning away to gaze out the window.

Remus walked tentatively over to him, reaching a hand for his shoulder. "None of us can make it better for you...I know that. And I'm not fool enough to say the pain will heal with time, because that's the kind of junk they force-fed me for two years...but Padfoot, I will always be here for you."

"I said that to you too, remember? I don't know how long always is anymore." Sirius sighed, but laid his own hand over Remus' reassuringly. "It's going to take some getting used to, but we'll manage somehow."

Remus smiled and watched as Sirius left the room, presumably heading for the shower.

Rummaging around in their old wardrobe, he found a faded pair of jeans and one of Sirius' old black t-shirts. He pulled them on then made his way gingerly down to the kitchen. It was more discomfort now than actual pain.

It seemed that Tonks and Kingsley had left. Only Dumbledore was there now, seated at the table, a sheaf of parchment before him which he was reading.

The light was fading and a few lamps had been lit, casting a soft glow on the old man. The fire had died down to embers, but they still cast off their warmth. Remus felt it caress him as he walked softly past.

Dumbledore looked up, smiling and gesturing for Remus to join him at the table.

"How is your young Mr. Black?"

Remus looked up at the use of the word 'yours'.

"How long have you known?" He asked softly, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks.

Dumbledore reached over to pat his hand gently.

"Much longer than you would probably expect, dear boy." He pulled his hand back and shuffled through the papers. "I always knew that something special would become of your friendship."

"And...it doesn't bother you?"

Dumbledore looked up. "Now why on earth would it bother me, my boy? Two young men that I happen to be quite fond of being in love? If there is one thing I highly approve of...its love."

Remus wanted to ask more, but Dumbledore was so matter of fact it seemed he wouldn't get any further anyway.

"Sirius wants to go out."

Dumbledore nodded. "Of course he does, and he will get the chance soon enough. I'm sure you can keep him occupied in the meantime."

Remus gave a wry smile. "Sirius was never one to be kept cooped up against his will."

"Who said it had to be against his will?" Dumbledore gave a roguish wink before turning once more to his reading, ignoring Remus' surprised stare.

It was rather surreal, discussing such things with his old headmaster, and he was more than a little relieved to feel familiar arms slide onto his shoulders. Sirius gave Dumbledore a challenging look as if daring him to say something, but the headmaster just smiled and continued reading.

Sirius sank into the chair next to Remus, and Remus could smell the mingled scent of soap and Sirius, and still the slight odor of sex.

Remus' lips curved upwards at the thought.

Sirius said, "I know I can't see Harry, but can I write to him?"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to answer but they suddenly heard a door slam above them.

"Anyone here?" a young voice called. "I'm home!"

Footsteps sounded on the stairs, thumping their way down towards the kitchen.

Instinctively Sirius stood.

Harry strode into the kitchen, pulling off his heavy robes. "I was lucky enough to get off early so I thought I'd come back home now..."

Harry must have realized the room was quiet, because he looked up from fighting to get his sleeve off, confusion on his face.

His eyes landed on Remus first. "Professor Lupin!! Great to see you!"

Harry took a step forward and suddenly noticed the man standing by the fire.

"Oh my god..."

"Hello Harry." Sirius said softly.