Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, I find them encouraging. I just want to say don't worry about the time gap as some of this will be covered at a later part of the story, it's just that I don't want the 'missing time' to be written about now if you catch my drift. I need to leave you in suspense a bit. Just as Abby and Carter don't know what is happening with each other.

Chapter 2

Six months later May 2006

Carter stood outside the hospital under the balcony watching as the rain fell down in heavy sheets, soaking the dry, arid ground, for a while until the sun reappeared at least. He found it cooling standing there, he would have like to have gone and stood in the middle of the street and let the water cascade over his body. But he had work to do and no spare clothes to put on so he thought better of it, turned on his heel and went back to work.

It was late when he finally sat on the step to the hospital entrance. The rain had stopped and the air was hot with a touch of humidity in it from the earlier downpour. But the ground was already bone dry.

In some ways it was difficult to imagine that he had been here a year, then again he also felt as though he had been here forever. This time twelve months ago he hoped that this move would have turned his life around once and for all, in a good positive way that he had dreamt of for so long. If he was honest with himself however, it hadn't. Oh he had made a difference to the lives of the people that he treated, but not to his own life. That was still a relative disaster.

Mala a work colleague and friend came and joined him on the step, sitting heavily down as she was big boned and a little over weight, which was to do with her metabolism as opposed to what she ate as there was not much food to be had in her household which consisted of herself, a husband and eight hungry children.

"Everything okay Dr John?" she asked him after they had sat there in silence for a while

He turned then and looked at her; he was sitting with his legs bent, his arms wrapped around them and his hands clasped together. He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Do you need to talk?" Mala asked him, thinking that he had been subdued lately, unhappy almost.

Carter let out a long sigh and looked out onto the town before him as he ran a hand over his face. They were quiet for a long time.

"Have you ever felt like you have been running away?" Carter finally asked Mala

"From what?" she replied

"From yourself, from situations you thought you couldn't handle" he explained and sighed again this time running his fingers through his hair, which needed cutting.

"Not really" Mala answered, she had never had time to run away there was always something to do. She did run away once as a small child but she couldn't quite remember why and saw no need to tell Cater this. Instead she said "Kem's not around tonight then?"

"She's gone inland for a couple of days, with the Aids clinic" he explained

"Oh I thought that was next week"

"It was, change of plan though"

"Are you sure you don't need to talk, she's gone away for a couple of days, do you need to get anything off your chest. We at the hospital couldn't help but hear you two argue the other night"

"I expect" said Carter slowly, paused and then dryly added "That everyone in a ten mile radius heard us yelling" as he finished speaking he propped his chin up with his hand.

"Is that the problem, you and Kem?" Mala asked cautiously

"I don't know, I thought that coming out here with her would solve all my problems, but in actual fact everything has just escalated into a giant snowball" he paused, glanced at Mala then said "It hasn't been working for about six months. We just share the house, buddies, that's it, that's all we are now"

"Being friends is good" Mala told him thinking of her own relationship with her husband

Carter nodded "But I want, I need something more and she needs more too, I know that much. I know I can't give her what she needs"

"You mean children" Mala said carefully

Carter gave a sarcastic laugh and said "No I didn't mean that. I would never want her to have a child again if she wasn't ready, and I don't think she ready to have one with anyone. There's no point us having a child to try to salvage the relationship that has gone past saving. I have to face the truth that it's over"

"Will you stay? We need you here you know" Mala said

"Here?" he asked. Mala nodded and Carter said "Honestly?"

"Honestly" Mala said

"I don't know" he replied

"You know" she said after a long silence between them, "It's late, I'm here all night, you should go home and get some sleep"

Carter nodded as he bit his lip and pushed himself off the step.

"Goodnight Mala" he said as he walked away.

Carter got back home and whilst he was fumbling in the dark he knocked over a pile of papers on to the floor. Once the room was finally lit with a dim light he bent down and retrieved the mess of scattered papers. Among them a photograph caught his attention and he looked at it and smiled. It was a simple snapshot of the staff at County taken a few days before he left. He looked at each face in turn and paused for a moment when he reached Abby before moving on to Neela and the rest of the gang. It was the first time in the past year that he had admitted to himself that he felt homesick for Chicago, for County. He put the picture back onto the table and noticed a couple of parcels sitting there from the states.

He opened them to discover an assortment of letters from his family which he then sorted into two piles. The first pile were for things which were important and needed his attention, the second were thrown unopened into a large cardboard box which was over half full already. And there hidden at the bottom of the cardboard box, were the three unopened and forgotten about letters from Abby Lockhart.