A/N: I know. I know! I've got plans for this story though, and I haven't given up. This chapter is dedicated to Marissa, Lorena, Lyds, Robin, and Ari. You girls are fab.
Chapter Ten: Pale white like the skin stretched over your bones
The sky is a watercolor dream of purple and pink as the pair makes their way down the boardwalk. It is Rory's first California sunset, so they linger at the edge of the beach to watch the scene. Her eyes twinkle as she watches the light shift, giving way to stars. For several seconds, she holds her breath and clings to Jess's arm, her smile childlike. She cannot properly express the excitement she feels being here with him, so far away.
The edge of the world, she thinks. I'm on the edge of the world.
By the time they arrive at Jimmy's house, the sky has dimmed to a dusky shade of obsidian. They are forced to blindly navigate through a yard full of barking dogs that show no consideration for personal space. When they finally reach the porch, they find the house dark and quiet.
"I knew you made them up!" Rory announces triumphantly. She drops her bag in a rush to look through the windows. It narrowly misses Jess's feet.
"They're very real," he assures her, spotting a note attached to the front door. "See? Evidence." He pulls Rory closer to the porch light, so they can read it together.
Jess –
You are not reading this. We beat you home. If not, Jimmy will be forced to spend the night outside, sleeping with the dogs. No pillow, blanket, or socks. These are the conditions, clearly stated in this letter. (Yes, Jimmy. I am serious.) He swore we would have time to pick up dinner before you arrived.
You're reading this, aren't you? I should have known not to trust him.
– Sasha
Jess shakes his head and tries the door, finding it unlocked. He pulls his duffle bag higher up on his shoulder before grabbing Rory's luggage and heading inside. She follows him with small steps, suddenly shy.
Jess flips on the lights as they pass through the living room and hall before taking a sharp left into his old room. He drops their bags onto the bed and begins to rummage through his while Rory hesitates in the doorway. She surveys the room, finding it, for the most part, bare. The walls are the generic waiting room beige, a color obviously picked out without Jess's consent. Furniture is sparse and antediluvian, held together by extra nails and hidden duct tape. The bookcase leans, the bureau is stained. Only the bed appears new, stripped down to the bright blue mattress. A set of sheets are thoughtfully laid out on the adjacent nightstand table, along with two spare pillows. Rory sees this and smiles, realizing why Jess likes it here.
As Jess unpacks, she ducks out of the room and back the way they came. She means to head into the kitchen and investigate the state of the cabinets – she cannot remember if Jess mentioned his family is into the soy or vegetable variety which would mean certain starvation for her – but stops before she reaches the end of the hall. There are family pictures lining the wall.
She identifies each member easily in a family portrait, taken at one of those cheap department stores by an outdated camera. Their background is snowy – pure white against formerly green trees – as opposed to the usual sunshine most people pick. Rory almost laughs. She moves farther down the wall of memories, progressing from Lily's baby pictures to present day. She ends up in the living room where she finds snapshots of Jess, protected by polished frames, his face distant behind glass.
Her shyness changes into something heavier, like steel churning in her stomach. She tastes the metal in her mouth, cold and wholly unpleasant. Jess is smiling. He is turned away from the camera, staring at Jimmy who is working the grill. Lightly, she touches his face through the glass, but immediately feels guilty when she leaves a smudge print behind. She moves to the next picture.
On the beach, Jess stares at the ocean, dressed in a thin T-shirt and swim trunks. His look is distant, almost whimsical. She wonders if he knew he was being photographed. The sun is low in the picture, setting on a day he has spent here, on his own, happy with his new family. She wonders: did he work that day? See friends? Did he think about her? Had he been thinking about her as the camera went off, capturing his weakness forever on film?
"Excuse me?" A female voice asks from behind. It startles Rory so badly she jumps and spins into the wall, rattling the frames. The front door slams and from down the hall, she hears Jess approaching.
"Who are you?" Sasha asks, balancing two pizzas in her hands while trying to look stern. The expression fails. The woman is too naturally cheerful to appear threatening to anyone but Jimmy.
Rory turns red, growing nervous that Sasha has not realized she is Jess's guest. "I'm Rory," she manages to say.
Jess appears beside her, and she breathes in a sigh of relief. "Hey," he says. "This is Rory. I told Jimmy about her on the phone."
"Jimmy?" Sasha turns and gives the man a look.
"I could have sworn I told you," he insists. "I said, 'Sash, Jess is bringing a friend along' and you said, 'The more the merrier.'"
"No, I think that's what you imagined I'd say had you actually told me."
Jess clears his throat, and both adults look back at him. "If you want, Rory and I can stay at a motel. It's no big deal either way…"
Lily, hanging by the front door, suddenly comes to life and loudly insists that Jess should stay here. Jimmy and Sasha simultaneously shake their head to dispute his comment as well. Trying to hide herself behind Jess, Rory feels like the odd woman out, afraid she will be voted off. This is the first situation she has been in where Jess is favored over her.
"Of course you two will stay here. One of you will take the couch, and the other the bed," Sasha explains. "It's no trouble at all. We have enough room."
"What about dinner?" Jimmy asks.
"Look how thin she is," Sasha says, gesturing to Rory. "How much can she eat?"
-
Jess hides his smirk behind his hand, as Rory begins her fifth piece of pizza.
"You gonna share any time soon?" he asks.
She freezes mid-bite and looks around the table to find Sasha, Jimmy, and Lily staring at her. She quickly swallows and wipes her mouth with her napkin.
"Too much?" she whispers, leaning closer to Jess so no one else will hear.
"Not if you were eating by yourself."
"Sorry," she mumbles. She shoves her plate toward him. "Want some?"
"How nice of you to offer."
She stares down at the table and takes a sip of her drink.
"Hey Jess, how's the job?" Jimmy asks.
"The exact same last time we talked."
Rory rolls her eyes at the terse answer. "The job's going great," she says. "He gets lots of tips and saves helpless women from crazy drunks."
Jess shakes his head. "I threaten one guy and suddenly you think I'm a hero."
"Well, I appreciated the gesture. He looked scary, sitting there like a lump in his alcohol haze."
Jess shoots her a pointed look. "You're losing your grateful tone."
"So Rory," Sasha interrupts. "How do you know Jess?"
"In high school, he served me coffee every morning before I caught the bus," Rory explains with a wistful smile. "My mom and I used to depend on Luke's diner for our meals."
"As opposed to now?" Jess asks. "You still can't cook."
"I'm learning!"
"Macaroni and cheese doesn't count," he reminds her.
"Ha-ha," she deadpans. "I don't need to learn," she tells the rest of the table. "Jess cooks for me."
Sasha and Jimmy share a private glance, a silent realization passing between them.
Jess rubs his forehead in mock annoyance. "You think that's going to last forever?"
"Sure," she says. "You'll never let me go hungry." She grins and touches his leg underneath the table, a quick brush of her fingers against the fabric of his jeans. Her expression is friendly and silly, so he nods in reply.
"Of course not."
-
"Is it safe?"
"Don't be a princess," Jess warns as he takes off the couch cushions and pulls out the mattress.
"It's a valid question," Rory insists as she watches him make up the bed for her. She is surprised he hasn't asked for help. It seems whenever she needs something, he switches onto auto-pilot.
He pulls the sheet tight and grabs a couple of pillows from the armchair. "I've slept on this before. Many times. It held my weight just fine."
"Yeah, how many years ago?" She drops her overnight bag onto the bed. The center sinks beneath the weight, the springs creaking dangerously.
"Just be grateful they didn't make you sleep outside with the dogs."
Rory pauses in her search for pajamas and looks up at him in fear. "They wouldn't."
"Act grateful tomorrow morning."
She shoots him an irritated look. "Funny," she deadpans as she pulls her shirt over her head. His mouth opens as her skin is revealed, smooth and untouchable. In the dim light of the lamp, she looks tragically pale, like a beautiful death.
"I'm sure you wouldn't let them kick me out. You love me too much." She winks playfully, oblivious to the torture.
She unzips her jeans and tugs them off her legs. He thinks: how many times has she done this in front of him? How many times have they been just like this?
Finally, he says, "Rory, what are you doing?"
He gets an eyeful as she bends over to step into her shorts. Unconsciously, he licks his lips.
"Changing?" It's a question.
In his mind, a strap slips off her shoulder and he moves to fix it for her. She touches his waist, sneaks a hand beneath his undershirt.
He makes a noise, something halfway between a grunt and a sigh. He waves his arms at her, gesturing toward her upper body, as he fumbles for the right words.
She gives herself a once over confused. Realization dawns and she blushes. Blushes! He can't believe it.
"I'm changing," she says again, quieter this time. "That's it."
"You undressed in front of me."
She pulls her shirt on quickly. "And redressed!" She crosses an arm over her chest, choosing now to be self-conscious. "I know you're with Megan, Jess. And I don't want to ruin that for you." She looks away from him, rocking back and forth on her heels. "I just feel comfortable in front of you. That's it."
He chooses not to reply, not wanting to get into this particular subject. Instead, he mumbles, "It's late. We should both sleep."
She nods but stays silent.
He has to go by her to get into the hall. He grazes her chin as he passes. "Goodnight," he says.
Her image follows him into his room as he crawls into bed and slips beneath the sheets, finally in the one place where she is entirely his. He closes his eyes and he is back in the living room, his tongue tasting the hollow of her throat. He has her backed up against the arm of the couch, and she's pleading in his ear. 'Jess' she moans, her breath hot and sweet against his cheek. 'Jess.'
"Jess."
He springs into an upright position, shocked to find her in his doorway.
"I just wanted to say goodnight," she whispers before turning away, disappearing into the dark.
-
A minor earthquake startles him awake. He glances over to find Rory lying beside him, the portable phone in her hand.
"Sasha says it's for you."
The sun is bright and leaking in through the window. He groans from the sensory overload and blindly swipes the phone from Rory.
"Hello?"
"I'm going to kill you," the voice says.
Jess sits up, startled. "Blake?" Rory grabs his wrist, looking terrified.
"No, dipshit, it's Ted. Do you have multiple people trying to kill you?"
Jess sinks back against the pillows and covers his face as Rory kicks him in the leg. He shakes his head and she visibly relaxes, resting her head against his shoulder.
"You'd be surprised," Jess mutters.
"How could you not call and tell me you were back?" Ted demands.
"I just got in. Last night."
Ted scoffs. "Not an excuse!"
"I'm so sorry," Jess mutters tonelessly. "I should have immediately called you as soon as the plane touched down."
"Damn right!" Ted lets out a sigh of frustration, playing the part of the clingy friend well. "You could have called ahead of time."
"I'll make it up to you," Jess tells him, turning onto his side. Rory is closer than he realized, lying on her back, looking up at the ceiling. Her hair tickles his face as he surreptitiously moves closer, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.
"We're meeting for lunch today," Ted decides. "Let's say noon? You know where."
"What makes you think I don't have anything planned today?" At this Rory taps him on the shoulder, but he ignores her.
"You don't. I'll see you later." As an afterthought, he adds, "And don't be late. I'm sick of waiting on your sorry ass."
"Yeah, okay." Jess drops the phone onto the mattress.
"Get dressed," Rory immediately orders. "Find your swim trunks and let's go!"
"No can do."
"Sasha said she's going to bring Lily, me, and you to the beach today."
Jess holds up the phone. "I've got plans."
Her face sours. "But you promised you'd bring me to the beach."
"Sasha's bringing you."
"You have to come too." She bends her knees and rests the bottom of her feet on his legs. She pushes gently, reminding him of the beginning of a temper tantrum. Any second now, he's sure she'll start to swing, tears streaming down her face.
"A friend of mine wants to have lunch." He pauses at her expression. "Don't look so surprised. I have friends."
"Sure," she nods, obviously not convinced. "Is this an imaginary friend?"
"Rory, shut up and get going."
"Fine," she pouts and climbs out of bed. As she backs out the room, she tells him, "This doesn't count as you bringing me to the beach!"
"Whatever," he mumbles, hiding his head beneath a pillow.
-
The sun is warm beneath her feet as she slathers on the sun screen. Lily is hiding beneath an umbrella, a worn copy of Great Expectations in her hands. Sasha is sprawled out on a towel beside Rory, soaking up the rays.
"Thanks," Rory says, handing the tube back to Sasha. She lies down on her stomach and rests her head on her arms, enjoying the sheet of sun that covers her back.
Sasha smiles. "No problem." Since the night before, she has obviously warmed up to Rory. She has noticed the change in Jess when Rory is around, the spark that exists between the two.
"Is this your first time in California?" Sasha asks.
Rory nods. "It's my first time on the West Coast, actually."
"Not a big traveler?"
"Oh no." Rory hurries to assure her, "I love to travel. I went backpacking in Europe before I began college. I've been all around the Northeast. All I want to do is travel."
Sasha laughs. "If it only it were that simple."
"I want to be an overseas correspondent," Rory explains. "I want traveling to be my job."
"That's one way to go about it. But wait 'til the responsibilities hit you," Sasha warns. "After college, everything changes. It will be a while before you'll be able to do what you want."
"Yeah, I know." Rory shrugs. "But I'm excited. Graduation is almost here."
"You'll enjoy it," Sasha promises. "No matter the difficulties, it's going to be something great."
"I hope." Rory scrunches her nose up in thought. "I've been thinking of moving to New York, see what's up there."
"I hear doubt."
Rory raises her eyebrows in surprise. She's known Sasha for barely a day and already the woman's picking up on her subtleties.
"It seems as if every 'budding' journalist heads there," Rory air quotes. "Maybe it's a cliché for me to move there. Maybe I'm better off staying in Connecticut."
"You want to stay in Connecticut?"
Rory shrugs. "There's newspapers everywhere. I can go anywhere, really."
"Isn't CNN headquarters in New York? The New York Times too. With what you want to do, it seems like the city would be the best place to go."
"I don't know." Rory ducks her head sheepishly, closing her eyes against the blinding sun. "I guess." She bites her lip wondering why she's even discussing this with Sasha.
"So you and Jess," Sasha says knowingly. "How long?"
Rory's eyes fly open. "Excuse me?"
"How long have you two been dating?"
"We… we're not…" Rory trails off. Suddenly, the sun is too hot and scorching her skin.
"It's okay," Sasha tells her. "I won't play any kind of 'motherly figure card' and threaten you bodily harm. I'm just curious."
Rory stares down into the sand, finding it difficult to take a breath. The heat is thick in her throat, stuck to her lips, heavy on her tongue.
"Since January," she finally answers. "This year."
"Not as long as I thought," Sasha admits.
"We dated in high school," Rory explains. "In my senior year. It ended really badly but ever since he came back to Connecticut, it's been… really good."
Sasha reaches over and pats Rory's hand. "I'm happy for you guys."
Rory smiles. "I'm happy too."
-
"Cheeseburger platter," Ted orders. Jess asks for the same. The waitress nods and slips the pencil behind her ear before walking off.
"So… where the hell have you been? You don't call, you don't write. I'm hurt, Jess."
"Oh god."
"I'm kidding, although it wouldn't hurt to pick up the phone once in a while." Ted takes a sip of his water. "But you have excellent timing."
"For what?"
Ted leans forward, looking excited. "I have a proposition for you."
"Is this illegal? Or is it going to cost me money?" Jess asks, prepared for his friend's antics. Ted is one of the schemer types, always looking for an easy way to make money. His occupation is thinking up harebrained ideas that only succeed in landing him in jail and begging his friends – namely Jess when he lived there – to bail him out.
"Neither," Ted answers excitedly. "This is big, Jess. And it's going to work. This is going to be my future, and yours too. This is going to bring us in money and success and we'll get to be the bosses. And – "
"Brevity is the soul of wit, Polonius," Jess quotes. "Can you get to the point?"
Ted bangs the table with his fist sending the silverware clattering into each other. More than a few concerned patrons look over. "That's it, Jess. That is exactly why I'm asking you!"
"Asking me what?"
"To be an editor at my very own publishing company."
Jess's jaw drops. This? Is so not what he expected. "Excuse me?"
"I've got several people interested in starting a small publishing company. You know, getting out those first time authors, taking risks on the disturbing and shoddy stories." Ted jiggles his knee as he speaks, obviously excited. "One of the people interested is rich, Jess. As soon as I get the loan from the bank, this guy wants to be really involved. I just need that loan and I am guaranteed extra cash from him to get us started."
"Ted…"
"And you will be one of my editors. I see you reading all the time, scribbling girly notes in the margins. You take a few night classes, I print you a diploma, and that's it! I know you'll be good, Jess. I know you don't need some expensive college education to be valuable here."
Jess stares at him a long time, somewhat touched by his words. An editor? He can do that. It would doing what he does in his spare time, but getting paid for it. This is an opportunity, Jess realizes. This is something he needs. This is the something extra that will fill the void in his life and actually make him happy.
"Count me in," Jess tells him.
"Fuck yeah!" Ted hollers. "Waiter? Where the hell is our waitress? Hey? I want wine! This table, a huge bottle of wine!" Ted hits the table again. "We need to celebrate!"