Author's Note Thank you very much for your continuing reviews. To put you out of your misery a little bit, I am adding another chapter.

Chapter 7

Abby was tired; it had been a hell of a day, meeting Carter again. But she thought that they had both managed to remain professional together when working, so that had helped a lot. Her day had had the added strain of the frantic call from day care. To which she had responded immediately and ran upstairs to comfort Michael. Who after almost choking on a piece of finger food would net be consoled by anyone other than his mother.

And now she watched him splash about in the bath and make raspberry sounds with his mouth. After checking the time she lifted him out, wrapping him in a large warm fluffy towel, before dressing him for bed. She was just finishing this when the buzzer rang and she couldn't help but wonder who that was at this time of day. Somehow though she wasn't surprised to discover that it was Carter.

They stood there on the threshold of her apartment, their eyes locked together. Carter couldn't quite bring himself to look at Michael who was looking at his father with a mild curiosity whilst sitting snugly in his mother's arms. It wasn't until Abby's neighbour trudged up the stairs and disturbed them by saying "Evening Abby, Michael" before letting himself into his apartment did they break it.

Almost reluctantly she said "You'd better come in"

On entering the apartment Carter nervously thrust his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Now he was actually here he didn't have a clue what he was going to say.

"Have a seat" Abby said clearing a pile of Michael's clean laundry and putting it on the kitchen table, before sitting Michael on the floor with her and facing Carter, who had sat down.

She sighed and said "Well, I take it this isn't a social call"

Carter who still hadn't dared to look at Michael, looked Abby straight in the eye instead and said "No"

Michael began crying and Abby scooped him up into her arms as she stood up. "Carter" she began almost exasperated with him, "Say want you want to say, I need to put Michael to bed"

"Okay, fine. Put him to bed, then we'll talk" he replied looking into the far corner of the room and thinking that this would give him more time to think of what to say.

"You haven't even looked at him" she said which surprised him as he didn't think that she had noticed.

"I can't not yet. Not 'til I've explained how things…..I….I…." he faltered

"Oh fine whatever" cut in Abby and she went to the kitchen and fixed Michael a bottle of milk and then walked to the bedroom and shut the door behind them.

When she re-entered the room his head was resting on the back on the sofa, his eyes closed and his breathing regular, steady. She sighed and looked at him before moving to the kitchen to make coffee.

"John" she nudged him gently

"Oh what" he said shaking himself out of the sleep into which he had fallen.

"Here, coffee" she said handing him a mug of steaming liquid and he sat up as she went and sat at the other end of the sofa. Remembering the, last time they had had like this was the night they created Michael.

"I'm sorry, I fell asleep" he muttered

"No big deal, I was a while settling Michael" she replied softly not sure whether to be mad or pleased that he was here.

They sat there in silence each sipping the hot coffee before them. After a while and when he could put it off no longer Carter cleared his throat and said quietly "I didn't know Abby, I'm sorry but I didn't know"

"What?" she asked softly, amazed and confused that he hadn't known.

"About Michael. If it hadn't been for the fact that I got fed up with tripping over the box in the hall I still wouldn't know." He looked at her confused expression and continued "I mean I would have known you'd had a baby, everyone at work was more that happy to tell me" he paused again knowing somehow the words were never going to come out completely right no matter how he tried.

"I'm sure they were" she said dryly knowing how the majority of her colleagues liked to gossip "What did they tell you?"

"Oh you know that you'd had a baby and were bringing him up alone"

"That it?" she asked

"Yeah, pretty much. Jerry mentioned something about it being rough for you… but that was about it" he replied looking her straight in the eye.

Abby sighed, there was so much he didn't know and she didn't know if this was the time to tell him. After all she still needed some answers of her own first. So instead she asked "You did or didn't get my letters?"

Carter for obvious reasons didn't want to answer the question but knew he had no choice and said, whilst keeping his gaze on the mug of coffee "I got them"

"I don't get it" she replied

Carter took a deep breath and said "When I first went back, to the Congo to be with Kem, I only opened the mail that was….that I thought was important. Everything else got put on the side and eventually kind of sorted then put in a large cardboard box, where they stayed and more and more letters were put on top. I eventually went through the box, all of it, last night"

"So you're telling me you didn't know 'til yesterday?" Abby asked amazed.

Carter nodded "You don't know how bad I feel"

"Humph" grunted Abby and then said "What about the letter I sent Jack?"

"I never received anything like that. I haven't have an opportunity to call him yet"

Abby nodded and said "Right"

"I know this sounds unbelievable….." he began

"You're not wrong about that"

"Abby, stop it just let me explain"

"Explain what? It's pretty clear to me. You chose not to read the letters then you changed your mind and now you want to come barging back into our lives"

"No, yes, sort of" he said the words tumbling out randomly. "The thing is Abby; it was a bit of a shock"

"You're not the only one who was shocked"

"Yeah well….Abby"

"Look Carter, its late say what you came here to say, then leave okay?"

"It's not that late it's not quite nine" he protested

"I'm tired, I've got things to do and I need sleep" she snapped, she really didn't need this tonight

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't spend another day working with you without talking about it. I don't suppose you want to discuss it there" he responded, aware that neither of them were talking quietly anymore.

"Not particularly, go on. What do you want to say John? Tell me then go"

Carter sighed and looking her straight in the eye, swallowed and said "I want to apologise, for being a jerk, idiot, and fool"

"Keep going"

"Abby look we're not getting anywhere I just" he raised his hands as if in surrender. "I wanted to say I was sorry I didn't read the letters, call you. You'll never know how sorry" his voice began to break, but now he had started he knew he had to continue. "If I …. If I'd known, it would be different now. I know you probably hate me; I think I even hate myself at this moment. But I know one thing I want to be part of Michaels' life"

Abby nodded not trusting herself to speak without either bursting into tears or yelling so loud the entire building heard her. One thing was obvious and that was Carter had come here tonight to talk, tell her, and explain, not to listen and now was not the time to fill him in on the missing pieces.

Carter stood and walked to the door chewing his bottom lip; quietly he turned back to Abby and said "See you tomorrow at work, yeah?"

Abby nodded and sighed as he left her apartment knowing that really nothing had been resolved or discussed at all.