Authors Note Thanks again for taking the time to review my story, I really appreciate it. I hope that you all like this new chapter.

Chapter 8

A few days later

Susan caught up with Luka in the hall near the desk.

"How's it going with Carter?" she asked him

"As in being back generally?" Luka replied

"No, you know what I mean" said Susan

"Abby and Carter?"

"Exactly"

"Professionally good" was Luka's response

"That's what I've noted and personal?"

"Avoid each other as much as possible" said Luka then asked. "Has he met Michael?"

"I don't think so" Susan answered

Luka sighed and asked "Abby talked to you about it?"

"Would I be here discussing with you if she had? No, I don't know how to broach the subject, she can be quite cagey"

"I haven't spoken to either of them about it myself" Luka informed her.

"Do you think he knows?" Susan asked him, she couldn't help but be curious.

Luka shrugged and said "He must have heard she's had a child"

"Who's had a child?" asked Carter joining them from behind and startling the pair somewhat.

Susan and Luka looked at each other then back at Carter

"You were talking about Abby weren't you?" Carter said finally summing up the situation.

"You heard?" said Susan cautiously

"What?" said Carter

"Abby had um…." Luka started

"A baby" Carter finished for him "Yeah. Michael, I know"

Luka and Susan exchanged glances again, not sure how to proceed with this conversation.

Carter looked at them in turn and said amazed "You both know?"

"Know what?" said Luka trying to be vague.

"Don't mess with me. I know about Michael" he swallowed looking from Susan to Luka and added "I know he's my son"

Luka and Susan looked at each other again, this time surprised.

"Then where the hell have you been?" snapped Luka

"I'm not discussing it with either of you" Carter replied sighing and momentarily closing his eyes as if to summon his strength reserve. "I need to talk to Abby"

"Good idea" said Susan encouragingly.

"Hey Guys! Want to say hello to Michael" shouted Ray to them from the desk.

All three turned and there stood Ray bouncing an active Michael in his arms. Carter swallowed and tried not to let his eyes water as he took the time to look properly at Michael. Michael he decided in that split second of first impressions looked amazingly like Abby, with a touch of himself too. But the thing that hit him the hardest was the great wave of crushing jealously he felt as Ray stood there holding Michael. Carter had to resist the strong urge of walking up to Ray and snatching Michael right there and then and holding him himself, where Michael belonged. Carter was fully aware of the worried looks that Luka and Susan were exchanging too and knew that he had to appear normal as he struggled to compose himself.

Fortunately at that moment Abby came walking back down the hall and took a gurgling Michael from Ray and back into her arms once more.

"Behave himself?" she asked Ray

"As always" Ray answered

As Abby turned around she spotted the trio standing a little way of. "You're not going to come and say hello today?" she said addressing all three of them at the same time.

"Me?" they all replied in unison.

Abby nodded and walked over to where they stood. Luka stroked Michael's soft hair before saying "I've got a patient I need to see" and walked off.

"Me too" said Susan blowing Michael a kiss before leaving Abby and Carter alone with Michael.

Abby saw the uncertainty in Carter's eyes, mixed with the wonder of his expression and said "Wanna hold him?"

Carter biting the inside of his lip nervously held out his arms and Abby handed over their wriggling baby into them. He held Michael away for a moment then pulled him closer while looking intently at Abby. Then he slowly looked down at the inquisitive face of his son. He didn't trust himself to speak. He didn't know what to say anyway as his eyes brimmed with tears. He stole a glance at Abby and was surprised to see that her expression although wary and unsure was one of compassion and tenderness and knew that this was the beginning of his relationship with his son.

0o0

Susan and Abby sat opposite each other in arm chairs in Susan's apartment. Cosmo was sprawled on the floor trying to construct something with duplo and Michael was attempting to stand up by the sofa whilst gnawing on a zebra shaped teether.

"So you gonna talk properly with him?" Susan asked Abby

"Mmmmm. Take more than one conversation to talk this through with Carter"

"At least you'll be talking" Susan said trying to be helpful "That's something. How do you feel?"

"Now he's back and met Michael?" asked Abby, thinking back to a few days ago when Carter held Michael for the first time.

Susan nodded encouragingly and said "You know you told me he explained what happened and while I think he was kind of dumb I think he deserves a chance"

"I know, it was just hard to digest to start with, but I'm still so confused"

"Well you can both try to unconfuse yourselves together, tomorrow night over dinner"

"I don't know if agreeing to go out to dinner with him was one of my best moves" Abby said confiding in Susan.

"Oh Abby! It'll be fine. You'll be in a public place; you'll both be less inclined to yell at each other. I think it's perfect"

"Mmmmmmm" replied Abby unconvinced.

0o0

So far so good thought Abby as the waiter brought the main course to the table and left although she still felt like a bag of nerves, and they were still making small talk really.

"What?" asked Carter looking up at Abby who was watching him closely "You're dinner not good?"

"No it's not that, it's fine" she replied smiling and eating a couple of mouthfuls. "John?"

"Yeah"

Abby put her cutlery down and reached for her purse and pulled out a handful of pictures.

"I thought you'd like these" she said hesitantly passing them to him.

Surprised he answered "Thank you" and he took them from her careful not to brush her fingers with his own and flicked through them. There were all of Michael, Abby had been careful not to select any with her in and there were a quite a few of those that had been taken by Susan, Neela, Luka and Maggie.

"Do you like them?" she asked

"Yeah" he managed and slipped them into the inside pocket of his jacket "they're great"

They half smiled at each other before they continued with their meal. Abby wanting to keep the mood light and not yell or shout at Carter in a public place went on to describe what made Michael laugh.

As they drank coffee Carter was acutely aware that they were still skirting everything that was unsaid between them. However Abby did seem prepared to give him a chance to redeem himself he decided.

They sat in his car, jeep to be precise. Abby was surprised that Carter who could have purchased any car he wished had chosen another jeep to replace the one he had sold almost two years ago. He switched off the engine and half turned towards her and said "I'm really sorry I wasn't here, but now I know… you know I want to be here for Michael and for you"

She bit her lip and nodded before saying "I knew deep down that if you'd read the letters, well you would have at least called"

The next thing Carter said however was the beginning of his downfall that evening. "I've been thinking about how we can fix this mess"

"Mess, what mess?" Abby replied.

"You, me, Michael"

"Is that what you think this is? Some kind of mess! You're talking about our lives Carter as if we were some spillage on the floor that needs to be mopped up"

"I want to help" he protested realising his fatal error of words and trying to fix it but failing miserably.

"Help, you want to help? I thought you wanted to be part of Michael's life"

"I do, but I don't want to stand by and watch you struggle along in a one bedroom apartment either"

"Struggle along" Abby said visibly upset and feeling the need to repeat what Carter was saying back to him "Michael and I don't struggle along, thank you very much"

"But it could be much easier" Carter said digging himself into a deeper hole.

"Financially? You're talking about money aren't you? Money isn't everything John"

"Don't you think I don't know that? I want you and Michael to be comfortable not to worry about stuff, stuff like you had to worry about when you were a kid growing up. I don't want it to be like that for my son"

They were not in the restaurant now and all that has been building up inside Abby for the past week or two exploded. "Firstly, it's not going to be like that. I am not my mother. I have a stable job which I am fully able to withhold, unlike her and although I may be moody at times, I do not in any way have the health problems she has had to endure for most of her life.

Secondly money is not as important as love and I love Michael very much. He as far as I'm concerned comes first in my life. Not me, not you. Michael. We've 'managed' as you have so kindly put it for almost 9 months without you're so, so called 'help.' And before he was born I coped fine without you and we can continue to do so. If you're main concern is our financial position. I have not forgotten the money which I still owe you and you will get it back every cent" she stopped and paused to breathe. "Thanks for the dinner Carter. I think you need to re-think your priorities and then when you have, call me" She unlocked the seat belt, grabbed her purse and scrambled out of the car slamming the door behind her.

Carter on hearing the door slam felt as though he had been slapped across the face, more that once and cursed himself for not thinking before he had spoken. He reached inside his jacket pocket and took out the photographs of Michael and as he looked at them his finger grazed over his baby's face.

It wasn't until much later when Abby couldn't sleep that she wished she hadn't lost her cool with Carter but on the other hand it had gotten all that pent up emotion off her chest.

0o0

"Hey" said Carter as he entered the doctor's lounge and met Luka in there

"How's things going with you?" Luka asked. Carter shrugged and Luka added "Dinner with Abby a disaster?"

"You could say that" Carter said looking at Luka before elaborating "The meal went well, we talked she told me all about Michael. It was just afterwards I managed to put my foot in it. I forgot just how sensitive she can be"

"That sounds an improvement since the last week or so, even if you did upset her. At least the pair of you were talking about things other than tracheotomy's or how many patients she's managing per shift"

"Michael, I still feel strange saying his name"

Luka smiled at him and gave a small laugh "When you get to see him more it'll feel normal"

"Abby gave me some pictures of him, from when he was tiny to now"

"It's amazing" Luka said now his turn to put his foot in it. "He's doing so much better now, how a simple operation can change your life"

"What?" said Carter "whose operation?"

"Michaels' he was only a few weeks old…."

"Luka, stop! What are you talking about?"

"I thought you knew, you said Abby talked about Michael"

"She did but not his medical history. Tell me"

Luka shook his head "It's not for me to tell you. Ask Abby"

"Luka!" Carter said and Luka shook his head, so Carter continued "Well this is just like Abby, having to prove to everyone including herself that she can do everything without help from anyone"

"Carter that's not true" Luka cut in remembering how Abby had leant on him, Susan and even Maggie at the time.

"Yes it's true" Cater said disagreeing "I have never met anyone like her, ever. She always has to prove that she's so independent, so capable of managing by herself whatever problem she faces, she just won't let anyone in"

"Carter!" shouted Luka to get his attention.

"What?" Carter shouted back as he followed Luka's gaze to the other side of the room to Abby who was standing there, tears glistening in her eyes. She looked from Luka to Carter then abruptly turned on her heel and left.

Carter looked at Luka who said "Good one Carter" before exiting the room also, leaving Carter standing there feeling oddly bereft.