Disclaimer: I do not own these characters they belong to NBC and John Wells lucky ducks...I do however, own Peggy, Scott, and Isabella Moss...

Word of WARNING...I am posting this without a beta...I do not currently have one so please forgive the mistakes...if anyone is intrested in being a beta for meplease let me know..I could really use one...I am horrible with grammar...please review and be kind let me know if I should continue or if it's really bad and yes I know the grammar is bad...I am currently working on chapter 3 it should be up in a couple of days...here ya go I hope you like it...

Josh was jerked from a deep sleep by the thrusting of Donna's body her mind caught up in a nightmare. She was trying to get away from something or someone.

"NO, leave me alone, get away from me." "NO!"

Glancing at the clock he saw that it was only 1 am. It had taken a while for her to settle down and fall asleep.

"Donna, sweetheart wake up your having a bad dream." He rubbed her back gently trying to wake up from this horrible dream, he didn't want to startle her

"Come on sweetheart, you need to wake up."

Josh knew all to well what a nightmare could do, how it got caught up inside you and wouldn't let go.

"It's okay sweetheart, you are safe. I'm right here your safe, you need to wake up."

Donna's eyes jerked open, even though her eyes were opened she seemed somewhere far away. He continued to rub her back and softly talking to her, patiently waiting for her to calm down. He assuring her she was safe, and what ever monster she was running from could not hurt her. She had done this for him many a night, when he was recovering from the shooting.

"Josh?"

"I'm right here sweetheart. Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head no and pulled his arms tighter around her body.

"It might do you some good to talk about it." He didn't want to push her but he had to do something to help her.

"No," she said it so softly he barely even heard it. "Just hold me."

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her tightly into her arms.

Every time Donna closed her eyes she could see the monster in her mind. She felt safe in Josh's arms, but the image just wouldn't go away. Josh had no trouble falling back to asleep. She laid there for what seemed like forever, tossing and turning. She finally gave up grabbing her pillow and blanket and headed to the couch. She had some thinking to do, and there was no need to keep Josh awake.

Sadness, anger, and fear, weren't the only things she was feeling. She also felt relief. Relief that he was gone; he could no longer control her mind or her life. Her mind was racing a thousand miles a minute. The organizationally side of her took over; she needed to make some decisions. She had a one big make, What do to about Josh? She knew she had to go back to Madison. She wasn't ready to have him find out what she had buried so long ago, not like this. She knew she needs to tell him, she was afraid of his reaction. That he would leave, and no longer love her. It was tearing her up inside but she knew what she had do.

He opened his eyes slowly, blinking against the early morning sunlight coming in through the windows, bringing one hand up to rub at his eyes in an effort to clear away the cobwebs. It took him a few seconds to remember what had happened. He turned over, expecting to see her lying there asleep, or wide awake, staring up at the ceiling.

Instead he saw an empty pillow, an empty space where she should have been lying. He frowned, but realized that he shouldn't really have been surprised; after all, she'd tossed and turned for most of the night.

"Donna?" he called as he threw the covers off him, padding from the bedroom down the hall to the living room, expecting to be met by her voice calling to him, but meeting only silence. The couch was empty; its only occupants were a folded blanket and an unused pillow. He entered the kitchen, expecting her be sitting there drinking a cup of coffee she so desperately need to get moving in the morning. That when he saw it a piece of paper folded over and propped up against the coffee machine, which was already filled with coffee. His name was written on one side in familiar messy handwriting, he didn't want to read it, didn't want to see what she'd written, but knew that he had to.

The note, as it happened, was short and to the point. "I'm sorry; I have to do this alone."

He stared at it for what seemed like hours , but in reality it was only seconds before laying it back down on the cabinet "Oh Donna…" he whispered to himself, shaking his head, wondering why she'd done this, wondered what was so bad she couldn't or wouldn't let him in. She hadn't mentioned making any arrangements to him, when he asked if she was going back to Madison she shrugged her shoulders. He remembered her tossing and turning for a while, then he fell into a deep sleep. She must have gotten up not wanting to wake him. That must have been when she made her decision. That also would have been when, she packed and booked her flight this morning.

He was hurt by her decision but didn't want to dwell on that too much; he just wanted to be there. He needed to put his feeling aside and give her all his love and support. He knew that there was a story there, something she wasn't telling him. He'd seen in her eyes that she was scared of going home, and his heart had ached for her.

He made his decision; he would go after her checking the clock as he reached for the phone. Punching in a number he knew by heart, he prayed that she'd pick up quickly. "This had better be a matter of life or death," came the voice.

"CJ, it's Josh"

"Josh, what's wrong?" She was surprised to hear from him.

"How's Donna?"

"She left without me," he answered he held on to his temper knowing that CJ would kick his ass for being mad at her in her time of grief.

"What?" CJ was awake now. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"I mean she left sometime this morning without telling me…she's probably halfway to Madison by now."

CJ let out the breath she was holding. "Look, I will make some calls and see what I can find out. I'll check the airlines, and see if I can find out what flight she's may be on. Pack a bag and get yourself to the airport, I'll call when I find out anything."

"Thanks CJ you are the best friend a guy could have." Get a move on or you will never make it. Finally hanging up the phone Josh got started packing a bag for himself. He dressed quickly, pulling out a clean pair of blue jeans and the sweater Donna had given him for Christmas. That done, he headed straight for his Audi, getting to National at this time of morning could be a nightmare, he hoped traffic would cooperate.

He was on his way into the terminal when his cell phone rang, he looked at the caller Id it was CJ she hoped he had good news for him.

"Josh, she caught Northwest Flight 223 it left National at 6:25am she will change planes in Detroit and get into Madison at 9:14am."

"Don't panic," CJ reassure him. "I work miracles in my spare time. You're on Continental Flight 2308 you will change planes in Cleveland it puts you into Madison at 9:55 am. So your not that far behind her and should be able to catch up with when you get to Madison. You can pay when you pick up your tickets. I told them your wife's father passed away so they worked with me to get you on the flight. I will call the airport in Madison, and have a rental care waiting for you when you get there. One more thing Josh I managed to call in a couple of favors and find out that Donna is staying at the Crown Plaza. After that, it's up to you."

Josh breathed a sigh of relief. "CJ you're the best, I owe you one."

CJ chuckled. "Just take care of her Josh and I will consider us equal."

"Okay, I will have my cell phone if Leo needs me for anything" Josh said, hanging up the phone.

He managed to get through the line at the ticket counter quickly, he even made it through security without any problems. They were boarding when he arrived at the gate, he was beginning to feel as though maybe something would go right today. His flight actually took off on time, and was on time into Cleveland. His layover in Cleveland went smoothly and hopefully they would arrive in Madison on time. True to her promise, CJ had his rental car all taken care of for him. Picking up his cell phone he tired to call Donna, her voicemail quickly picked up. He left a frantic message, ask her to call him right away. He decided to leave out the part about him being in Madison. Josh had been to Madison once before with Donna, on a campaign stop and she had done all the driving.

The drive from the airport seemed like it took forever, finally he started seeing signs for downtown Madison. Realizing, that he didn't have a clue how to get to the hotel or even where Donna might be. He pulled into a gas station, for directions. The clerk was very helpful and it wasn't long before he was pulling into the hotel parking lot. He desperately wanted to see Donna, he need to make sure she was okay.

He quickly parked the car, and sent up a quick prayer she was still at there. He didn't want to have to face her family alone. After entering the hotel he quickly made his way to the counter.

"May I help you sir?" The blonde clerk asked him.

"I need to check in please." Josh asked anxiously "Could you tell me what room Donnatella Moss is in also?"

"I'm sorry sir, I'm not showing anyone with that name in my system."

"Are you sure?" "

"Yes, sir she hasn't checked in." the clerk looked at him confused. "Would you like to check in?"

"What? Yes, please." a worry in his voice. "There is a reservation for her here right?"

"I cant tell you that, it against our privacy regulations." The clerk was quickly getting aggravated with Josh. "Do you have a reservation?"

"Please just tell me if she has a reservation, I'm worried about her." he tried calmly explain to the clerk. We are here for her fathers funeral and she came in before me." "I need to find her so…please!" Giving her a look of desperation, dimples in full force. He hoped she would take pity on him.

"Sir, do you have a reservation?"

"Who me? No." He politely answered. "I didn't have time to make one."

"We have plenty of rooms." The clerk promptly got busy on the computer. "Let me see what I have available."

The rest of the check-in process went off without a hitch. "I'm sorry about your loss." As he turned to leave he saw her nod her head giving him the answer he so desperately wanted.

Give her a wide dimpled smile and a thank you he swaggered across the lobby of the hotel. He was a man on a mission, he grabbed a copy of Capitol Times and headed upstairs. Once he was settled in the room, he tried to figure out what to do next. He decided to see if the obituary could give him any information that would help him find Donna. He didn't even have to open the paper right there on the front page was an article about her fathers accident. Reading the article sent chills down his back. Not only had her father been killed in the accident, he had killed four other innocent people including two small children. The article claimed his blood alcohol level was four times the legal limit, he wondered if Donna knew this before she left. She must be devastated, just this fact alone made the need to find her more urgent. Is this what made her want to face this alone? Was she embarrassed?

Skimming a little farther in the paper he came across the obituary, glancing over it his heart sank. Reading further he became angry, how could her family do this to her? To his sweet Donnatella, what had she have done to make them hate her this much. They had left her any mention of his youngest child out of her fathers obituary. He thought maybe it was an error, he knew they were unhappy about her living in Washington DC. So far way from them. What ever the reason there was it was cruel. Dropping the paper like it had burned he stared out the window becoming more and more worried about his girlfriend. Saying a quick prayer that she was okay he quickly began looking for her parents address he had to find her give her the love and support she was going to need to get through the next couple of days.

After deplaning, Donna quickly got on the shuttle to pick up her rental car. After finding her rental car she got her self situated before making her way to her parents home. She wasn't even out of the parking lot yet and her hands were already beginning to shake. She had butterflies in her stomach she knew that her family wouldn't welcome her with open arms. Getting on the interstate she began to wonder why she even bothered coming back to Madison. Not knowing how her family would react, she was glad she made the decision to not bring Josh along. It would have made it a lot more difficult. Her family didn't care for Josh not just because he was her boss and never let her come home, but because he was a Democrat. If they only knew the real reason why she didn't come home. She believed that her mother knew the truth but was either to scared to do anything about it. Just didn't care, or didn't believe it was true. Either way her she was there and she had to do this. Confront her past and try and move on, that same nagging thought came back into her head, how would she tell Josh when she returned to DC. Getting closer to her parents home Donna couldn't stop the her hands from shaking. She picked up her cell phone wondering if she should call Josh, deciding against she put it back down. She didn't know if he would even talk to her after the way she left. Once again her mind went back to Josh, she picked up the phone and dialed the apartment. Hoping he was still there, it rang several times before the answering machine picked up. Hanging up she figured he was at work. But she didn't know who would answer the phone at the White House. She really didn't want to talk to anybody but Josh at the moment she decided again that also. She could call and leave a message on his cell phone but what if he picked up. Hearing his voice would just make her feel worse for what she had done leaving without a word. He was probably mad at her anyway, he put her phone back in her bag. Pulling into her parents drive way, she took in a deep breath. Sitting there for what seemed like forever she finally got the courage to get out and walk up to the door.