Jack Split
Title: Jack Split
Author: A. Riddle
Email: PG-13, T
Summary: Jack gets split into two people, and they have very different views on a certain 2IC.
Disclaimer: Don't look at me. I don't own nothin'
SG-1 walked through the gate to a planet that was long deserted of any civilizations. The ruins still stood strong in the countryside, and SG-1 went to explore. Major Samantha Carter went to collect soil samples, Doctor Daniel Jackson went to look for artifacts, Teal'c stood guard, and Colonel Jack O'Neill stood around bored. After about ten minutes O'Neill finally gave in and went to check how things were going. He wanted to go striate to Carter to see if he could distract her for a little while but decided that he would go to her second. Instead he went to see what Daniel was doing. He had seen Daniel go in to a building that looked a lot like a school. He walked through the doors to see that it was more like a mix between a scientist's lab and a library than a school. 'Daniel must be thrilled' O'Neill thought to himself. He then spotted a strange goldish blue ball devise. Curiosity got the better of him and he went and picked it up. Instantly he felt as if he was being torn in two. He screamed and fell to his knees. His eyes scrunched up in pain, then as suddenly as it began it stopped. He opened his eyes to find himself staring back.
"Aaugh" O'Neill's companions heard two identical screams. Carter ran with all her might, through the doors with the other two right behind her.
"Colonel!" She came to the place where Colonel found the devise. The sight that met her eyes made her stop so suddenly the other two bounded into her. Before them sat two identical O'Neills.
"Hey" they both answered. The three stood dumbfounded.
"Colonel? What's going on?"
"I don't know"
"Hey she was talking to me."
"No she wasn't, she was talking to me."
"I doubt that. Why would she talk to you?" If the three weren't stunned before they certainly were now watching the Colonel argue with himself.
"STOP!" The sound of Carter shouting brought the two Colonels out of their argument.
"It doesn't matter who I was talking to. I want an answer. What happened?"
"I, 'WE', fine we, came in here to look for Daniel and saw this," One of the Colonels held up the small goldish blue ball, "suddenly we felt a pain like we were being spilt in two, and when we opened our eyes… there was two of us."
"Wow!" Daniel approached the Jack holding the ball.
"Wait!" the O'Neill's shouted but it was too late. Daniel all ready had it in his hands. It was the two Colonels turn to be stunned.
"What?" Daniel asked.
"That's how we triggered the machine!" Daniel looked scared for a moment then realized something.
"I don't feel anything."
"You should of by now, when we touched it we immediately felt it."
"It doesn't seem to be doing any thing." Daniel states stupidly.
"Here let me see." Carter orders.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Yea I'll be fine." She takes the devise from Daniel's hands. Nothing happens.
"I told you I'd be fine. There seems to be some writing on it." She hands it back to Daniel.
"It seems to be a mix between Celtic and Egyptian. I'll need my books for this. We better head back."
"Yea, good idea."
"Let's head back."
"That's the first time the two of you have agreed." Sam stated smiling. The Colonel who was first holding the device (Jack) suddenly got a very inappropriate glint in his eye, while the other one (Colonel) just smiled.
"Incoming travelers."
"Who is it?"
"SG-1 sir."
"Open the iris Lieutenant."
"Yes, sir." The iris opens and Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c walk through. Closely followed by the two Colonels. Hammond speechless runs to the gate room.
"Colonel O'Neill, what's going on?"
"Um, I better answer that. The last time that was asked they started fighting, and I suggest we move this to the briefing room."
"Oh right, of course Major Carter. Head to the briefing room SG-1."
"Wait so let me get this right. Colonel O'Neill touched the device and was split into two people. But when Major Carter and Doctor Jackson touched it nothing happened."
"Yes sir, that's right."
"And we don't know why it happened to Colonel O'Neill or why it didn't happen to Major Carter and Doctor Jackson."
"Nope." exclaimed Jack while staring at Sam.
"No sir." Colonel told General Hammond respectively.
"I believe I'll be able to translate the inscription on the device, but I'll need a day or so."
"Right, SG-1 is on stand down until Doctor Jackson has translated the script and can fix this. You should head to the infirmary so that Doctor Frasier can look you over. Dismissed."
"Yes sir."
"Righto."
"Well you're all fine. You can go. Sam can I speak to you for a minute?"
"Yea sure Janet. What's up?"
"I suggest you lookout for Jack he's been watching you like a hawk, and not out of concern."
"What are you talking about Janet?"
"His has a glint in his eye when he looks at you and it's not his usual one."
"What?"
"Forget it. Just be careful around him."
"Alright, what about the colonel?"
"I don't think he's a problem. In fact he didn't look at you anymore than the rest of us did."
"I'll be careful Janet, don't worry. I'll see you later."
"Ugh! I've had enough of you. I'm going to see Sam." Jack blurted out.
"No you're not. I know what you'll do if you're alone with her. And I can't let you do that." Colonel said fiercely.
"And why not?"
"Don't act like an idiot Jack. You know about the regulations. I can't let you jeopardize not only our career but Major Carter's too."
"Look I don't care what you say. I've wanted to do this for along time but you've always been there to hold me back. But now that I'm rid of you I can do it freely, and you're not going to stop me." Jack lunges at the Colonel and ties him to the bed stand.
"Now if you don't mind I have to find a certain stunning lady."
Carter hears a knock at her door. She goes to open it and is met with a man's lips while he forces her against the wall. The man is kissing her passionately when he remembers the open door. He breaks his grasp on Sam and shuts the door. He turns around to see Sam backed away from him as far as she can.
"What do you think you're doing Colonel?"
"Not Colonel, Jack. And something I've been waiting to do for a long, long time." He slowly advances on Sam.
"What do you mean Jack?"
"I meant what I said. I want you Sam. I always have. Ever since I first saw you." He's now only a few feet away from her now.
"Jack you're not thinking rationally."
"Don't you want me too Sam?" He's now on top of her. She's pushed up against the wall and he's kissing her neck.
"Jack stop, please."
"No, I've waited too long for this. Nothing's going to stop me now." He kisses her fiercely on the lips to prevent her from continuing. And that's all it takes, her hands snake around his neck, while his hands work their way around to her back and under her shirt. After a few minutes they break and Jack begins attacking her neck again.
"Oh, Jack please don't do that. We can't do this. Were not allowed too. Oh, Jack stop." He looks up at her and smiles shyly.
"Why not? You want me to." He begins kissing passionately again.
"SG-1 to the briefing room." Sam comes to her senses and pushes him away. Before he knows what's happening she runs out of the room. Jack sighs and scowls before he heads out to untie his counterpart then head to the briefing room.
"This better be good. I was right in the middle of something important." Jack is furious, and Sam avoids his gaze.
"Trust me Jack, it is. Go on Doctor Jackson."
"Thank you sir. I've finished translating the text and it seems that the device is used to help people sort out their problems. When someone is confused about what to do they're given the device. It splits them in two and they are able to talk out their problem.
"Why didn't we split when we touched it then?" Sam is fiercely concentrating on Daniel. Determined not to notice Jack's leg rubbing hers.
"It seems that only people that are seriously torn between two answers are split. The split can only be reversed if the person comes to a decision. So now our only problem is figuring what the two Colonel's problem is and convince them to compromise."
"So Colonels any idea what the problem is?"
"We know exactly the problem."
"But we're not going to tell any one."
"Why not? I don't care if they know."
"I know you don't but I do so we're not telling them.
"Fine"
"If you wouldn't mind General. May we be dismissed? We know the problem so we'll try to resolve it as quickly as possible."
"Alright if you're sure. Dismissed."
"Um Janet."
"Yea"
"As long as their separate I'm going to have to stay with you."
"He came at you and you gave in didn't you?"
"Yes, I'm sorry Janet. I really did try. It's just… well you know."
"Yea, I know. It's all right Sam. You can stay in here as long as you like."
"Thanks Janet."
"Hey Janet, have you seen…Sam! Hey! I was wondering you want to continue that conversation we started?" His voice was innocent, but his eyes flashed with the desire that his kisses had held. Sam was once again tempted. But Janet's voice brought her to her senses.
"Sorry Jack no can do. I need her to help me with a few things around here. Plus aren't you supposed to be discussing you're problem with your other half?"
"We were but we aren't getting any where. And I really want to finish that discussion I started with Sam."
"It'll have to wait. Like I said, I need her around here."
"Alright," A look of disappointment and surrender crossed his face, "I guess I should try to convince myself that I'm right and he's wrong."
"I don't care about the regulations. All I care about is her. All I want is her."
"You have to control yourself Jack. There are other things at stake. Plus, you don't even know if she likes you at all, let alone wants you."
"I know she does. You should have felt her kisses. They were amazing. And I wasn't the only one kissing. Man do I want her! Don't give me that look, I all ready tried. She's taking refuge with Janet."
"And you still think she wants you."
"Yea, I would have had her if it wasn't for Janet. That's probably why she went there."
"Look we're obviously not going to get any where by ourselves. We need help."
"That's not my fault. You're the one who didn't want to tell anyone."
"That was then, this is now. We need someone who won't take one side."
"Teal'c" they say together.
"Hey Teal'c! Can we talk to you?"
"Yes O'Neill's. What can I do for you?"
"We need a mediator. We haven't been able to get anywhere by ourselves."
"What's the problem?"
"Sam's the problem." Jack gave an exasperated sigh.
"Major Carter?"
"Yes, Major Carter," The Colonel threw Jack a deathly glare, "He is too concerned with Major Carter being a woman to respect her as a collogue and our 2IC."
"Well, He only sees her as an Air Force officer. He doesn't see the person behind the title."
"Neither do you! You see her body not her mind. In fact you hate the fact that she's a scientist."
"I do not! She's saved us more than once and that's because of her brain."
"Oh that was real pathetic!" They were arguing so much they didn't see Teal'c slip out.
"Doctor Frasier, may I have some Tylenol."
"Sure Teal'c why?"
"The O'Neill's asked for me to be a mediator. They couldn't agree on anything so they asked my help."
"What's their problem?"
"It's seems that they disagree on they're feelings about Major Carter."
"Sam!"
"Yea Janet?"
"Oh sorry I wasn't calling you. I was just surprised about something."
"Do you usually call out my name when you're surprised?"
"No it's just… There's something I have to tell you. Teal'c just told me the Colonel's problem."
"And?"
"Well it seems that it's about you."
"Me!"
"Yes you. They're having trouble deciding how they feel about you. They're having so much trouble they asked for Teal'c to mediate."
"Why ask Teal'c why not just ask me?"
"I believe, Major Carter that the Colonel has trouble bringing up the subject around you. It appears that he thinks of you as only Major Carter. But Jack thinks of you only as a woman."
"Well we're going to have to change that aren't we?"
"Sam, do you think that's wise?"
"Relax Janet; Teal'c will be there the whole time."
"If you're sure Sam."
"I am. Don't worry everything will be fine."
"That's what you said last time! And look what happened."
"Like I said Teal'c will be there the whole time."
"He better be. In fact no matter who asks you too, even if it's General Hammond himself do not leave that room."
"Yes, Doctor Frasier."
The two Colonels were still arguing when Teal'c arrived with Sam. They once again didn't notice them slip in.
"For cryin' out loud. How could you ever think of Sam as just an officer?"
"You should! You're supposed too. She's our 2IC."
"She is in the room." The two men turned two see Teal'c and Sam standing by the doorway. Jack got that glint back in his eye while the Colonel started to blush.
"Don't even think about it Sir. Teal'c has been ordered by Janet to stay in the room." He lost his smirk, but only a little.
"Hi, Sam."
"You are to refer to me by my title Colonel O'Neill. Teal'c said the two of you have a problem with me."
"Not with you Major just about you."
"Wait, what do you mean I have to refer to you by your title?"
"I mean what I said. You are to refer to me by my title. It is the proper way to address an under ranking officer and you're Second in Command."
"For cryin' out loud Sam…"
"Carter!"
"Fine." Jack slunk back to the head of the bed where he sat pouting.
"I tried to tell you," The Colonel told Jack, "but you wouldn't listen."
"Don't think I'm happy with you either. I am a woman you know. I'm not all brain!"
"But…"
"But nothing! Teal'c told that you think of me just as an officer. There's more to me than that." It was the Colonel's turn to slink back to the head of the bed and sulk.
"Now I am neither just an officer nor just a woman. I am both…"
"Incoming traveler. SG-1 to the gate room."
"What would they need us for? We'll have to continue this discussion later." The four of them head off two the gate room.
"Dad! What are you doing here?"
"What can't you're father stop in for a visit?"
"Yea sure, it's just you're usually here on business."
"Not this time. I've got some vacation time so I thought I'd spend it here."
"The Tok'ra give vacation time!"
"Well it was sort-of a request. I thought I'd take some time to catch up with my little girl…Holy Hannah what happened to him?"
"Hey Jacob!"
"Nice to see you General."
"Not again!" Sam sighs and steers them all to the briefing room.
"So basically Jack was split into two people. One relaxed, one uptight military."
"Do you know why they split?"
"It seems they have a problem with me."
"You!" General Hammond, Jacob, and Daniel all exclaim.
"Yep me. They're not sure of how they feel about me."
"I can tell you how they feel. They don't feel anything."
"That's what I said." The Colonel stated agreeing with Jacob.
"Why? What's wrong with feeling strongly attracted to a beautiful sexy woman who just happens to be my 2IC." Sam could tell that look in her father's eyes and she knew she had to step in.
"Maybe we should finish this discussion somewhere else."
"If you ever say that about my daughter again I'll…"
"Dad!"
"What! He shouldn't be saying that about you."
"Why? Because I'm her CO?"
"Yes, but mostly because she's my daughter. And don't talk to me like that! Unless you want a court martial! I still outrank you!"
"Hey Janet!"
"Not going well."
"No. I've gone from trying to convince Jack that I'm more than a woman and trying to convince the Colonel that I'm more than a soldier to convincing my father that I can take care of myself. And in the mean time trying to keep him, and the Colonel, from killing Jack while resisting the urge to kill him myself. You should hear the things he says. And in front of my father too."
"I don't mean to act like I'm shoving you off but it looks like you should be getting back before one of them actually does kill him."
"Yea I know it's just nothing seems to be working. I was hoping you could give me some advice."
"Well it seems that when they're together they're always arguing. I'm gonna regret myself for saying this but, why don't you try to handle them separately. You might do better. But you have to promise me you'll be careful with Jack."
"I promise Janet. I hope this works."
"Alright here's the deal. Trying to convince the two of you together is getting us nowhere. Janet suggested I should try to convince you alone. I'll start with Jack."
"I'm coming with you Sam. I'm not going to let that monster alone with you."
"No dad. I have to do this alone."
"But…"
"Dad! I have to do this by myself."
"I swear if he lays one grimy little paw on you…"
"I'll be fine."
Sam sat on her bed thinking about what to say. She knew she had to be careful so that she wouldn't lose herself in his eyes. She knew what would happen if she did. She couldn't let that happen, especially with her father on base.
"Smart one Sam. Telling them we had to be alone. So how long do you think we have?"
"No time at all. It's not going to happen Jack. It can't happen."
"Come on, yea it can. Just let yourself go." He smirks as he draws nearer to the bed.
"No Jack I won't. We're not allowed. Plus, we have work to do. There's more to me than being a woman Jack. I'm a Major in the United States Air Force, and you are my Commanding Officer. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"A little, but that doesn't matter. I love you! Does that mean anything to you?" He shouts as he feels himself getting frustrated with her. Instantly after he said it he knew it did.
"What do you mean?" She says shocked.
"I mean I love you." He looks down to his shoes. "Every part of me aches for you. You're all I think about. I'm the side of Jack O'Neill you never get to see. I come out every once and a while. But I'm always shot down, or covered up." He raises his eyes to her. The look in his eyes changes, and she knows he's telling the truth. "I'm sick of it. I'm tired of being bottled up because someone's afraid of getting caught."
"I never knew."
"And you wouldn't if he got his way. It's so hard being near you and not being able to have you. It hurts so badly. Even he's starting to feel it. Oh no, I shouldn't have told you that. He'll kill me. Look, forget what I said. I know you're more than a woman. You're an officer, a scientist, my 2IC, and you're a wonderful person. You can't ignore any part of that. It's what makes you, you. I love you, I want you, but I respect you. It may not seem like that at times especially since I came out, but I do. You're what I live for; you're all I need to be happy. Enough said, I'll go get the other one." He quickly leaves the room before she can say anything in response. So many things run through her head.
"Your turn." Jack told the Colonel.
"Wow that was fast. What happened? Get mad and run out because she turned you down?" Jacob's glare could've killed any another man.
"No. We talked it over."
"And?"
"And nothing. I still care about her. And now she knows it. Nothing more."
"You really do care about her don't you?" Jacob's look softens.
"Yea I do."
"Major Carter?"
"What? Oh yea," The Colonel brought her out of her trance, "So you really think of me as just an officer."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not permitted to. I'm not allowed to have feelings for my 2IC."
"That's all. Just because your not suppose to."
"Yea."
"But if I wasn't your 2IC then you'd feel something right."
"Yea sure, you're a wonderful person. That's why the other part of me likes you so much."
"He told me he loved me." Sam told him quietly while the color drained from his face.
"Oh, I wish he hadn't told you that."
"Why not?"
"It's been hard enough keeping him under wraps. Now that you know how he feels he's going to want to come out more to find out how you feel."
"I feel the same way he does, but at the same time I feel the same way you do. I love you, but I don't want to risk throwing my career away."
"You love me?"
"Yea, I love both of you together. You do something to me. I can't explain it. I just feel like I can do anything around you."
"Wow" Instantly there was a blinding flash of white light and the Colonel disappeared. Down the hall the same thing was going on at Colonel O'Neill's quarters.
"So, good to see you back together again Colonel."
"You're telling me. I was really getting tired of arguing with myself."
"Now you know how I feel. Oh, by the way! I need a word with you." Once again that glare of Jacob's was back.
"Uh, I can explain."
"You better. Where do you get off thinking of my daughter like that?"
"I don't at least not all the time."
"Dad just leave him alone. It wasn't his fault. He couldn't control what that part of him said."
"He still shouldn't have said those things."
"I have an idea. Why don't we go and visit Mark. Ashley just had her birthday."
"Well, all right. We'll finish this after I get back."
"You change and go to the car. I'll be there in a minute." Jacob heads off.
"So, umm." Jack says uncomfortably. Sam just smiles. She reaches up and puts her arms around his neck, then kisses him the same way he kissed her earlier. She breaks away.
"And we'll finish that when he leaves." Sam leaves Jack with a silly little grin on his face.