Previously in "I am the Tower Around Which You Orbited: All dreams and thoughts shine like stars…"

After Jess and Dean's fight, Jess finds himself at the Independence Inn, receiving an icepack and a chat from Lorelai. Jess has just left to go back to the diner to "go get beat up by Luke."

Chapter Eight: I'll Hide from the World

"Jess, you can't just get into a fight with Dean in the middle of your school's hallway."

"I know."

"Its not good for you."

"I know."

"Give me some other reaction here, Jess. I went out on a limb for you when Principal Merten called me. He assumed that you walked away somewhere else. Which you did, I might add. I told him that you were all right; you were here with me, that you were just upset. I lied to your principal for you, Jess."

"I get it, Luke. You lied to someone for me. How many times have you done that before? I don't care what you say about me fighting Dean, I was just trying to defend myself. Then he just started pissing me off. So, I'm sorry, but I'll attempt to have a little bit more self-control next time."

"Jess, you're smart. You have two jobs, and you have a girlfriend. I don't understand why you can't just focus a little bit of your energy on not beating on Dean or thinking about it. For a moment, think about how Rory would feel if you got kicked out of school for god knows what reason."

"I have," I said quietly.

"What was that?"

"I said: I have. I've thought about it. A lot more than you think. Rory is the best thing that has happened to me in my entire life, Luke. And I think about how I could lose her every second. So, yeah, it may seem like I'm nonchalant about all this, but in truth, I'm not." I was on a roll, I couldn't stop myself. "As much as I hate that place and the people in it, I'm trying my damnedest to stay so get the fuck off my back."

Luke just looked at me in shock. I huffed and shrugged, and he just looked at me. "I would appreciate it if you didn't lecture me every waking hour about whatever the hell you think is wrong with my life. I know what's wrong with it, so just back off Luke. Just leave me alone."

"Jess, I don't think you realize this, but if you want to stay in school just for Rory, you're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than you're doing. Not just with this fighting thing. You've been skipping school, haven't?"

I shook my head and bit my lip, laughing quietly. "I'm not getting in to this."

"Jess. You can't skip school. That'll get you in more trouble with Rory than fighting with Dean will. If it's for money at Wall Mart, then, well… if you need money, I'll give you a raise. You can quit your job there."

"Oh, please, Luke. Like any money you could give me would be anywhere near enough for anything."

"Jess, you shouldn't throw your life away for some extra cash."

"And yet…"

"Listen to me. You're young, and you don't know what you're doing. You say you think about what would happen if you got kicked out of school. You say you worry about you and Rory in that situation all the time. Now, think about it. If you're skipping school, you won't graduate, you won't have Rory. End of your love story. Now, starting tomorrow, you will go to school every day, you will go to detention until your fight with Dean has been repaid in a sense to the school. You will quit your job at Wall Mart and you will work here. You say you think about your future, but you don't. You don't think about it at all!"

"I do think about it, Luke," I snapped. "I think about it more than you could ever imagine. I think that I don't have one. I don't do well in school; I didn't apply to any colleges. I'm going to spend the rest of my life living in a rathole in New York City the moment Rory decides 'Hey, I'm going to an Ivy League school. My boyfriend doesn't even go to college. I could do a hell of a lot better than Jess.' I wonder every day how badly I'm going to miss her once she realizes that I am nowhere near good enough for her. I wonder what I'm going to do with myself, how I'm supposed to get along. How the hell am I supposed to get along without her?"

"Jess, if you'd just try for one second, maybe you could do something. Maybe Rory won't care if you aren't as accomplished as her. You might not hold her down at all, you don't know."

"I'm leaving." I picked up my jacket and walked past Luke.

"Jess, wait a minute." He shut the door quickly as I opened it. "Think about it. Do you love Rory?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you love her? Yes or no?"

"Since when is that any of your business?"

"Since, all of a sudden, you're the one who cares about your future and yet all you can think of is life after Rory. Do you love her?" I just stared at him blankly. I did. I loved her. I stepped back away from the door, and opened my mouth, about to say something, but thought better of it. "Jess?"

"I love her."

THE END of chapter eight

short chapter, I know, but I said what I wanted to say in it.