Previously in "I am the Tower Around Which You Orbited"

Rory's avoiding Jess and Aerin's the only one around, causing much conflict in Jess's thoughts.

Chapter Twenty-one: As stars go out and I disintegrate

I lied on my bed, wondering what to do. Should I talk to Rory and ask her what's going on? Should I just play it cool and wait it out or should I act drastically? And since when was Aerin so insightful? True, I barely knew the girl, but she had this air around her that was attractive in a creepy way.

I couldn't continue on this self-destructive path of mine. I had to get up and do something, but I wasn't sure what. I didn't know why Rory was mad at me, if she was even mad at me at all, but I was going to find out.

Luke was asleep as I snuck out of the apartment, pulling my coat over my arms despite the warm May air. The sun had gone down hours ago and the next day was a Friday, so it didn't matter if anyone was tired or not. I was the only thing moving in the entire town, except for that eerie figure by the school. I laughed slightly under my breath and sauntered over to Aerin.

"What are you doing out so late?" I asked her, faux politely.

"Parents are fighting over who takes the bed and who takes the couch, which just adds to the original fight of what my father was doing out so late anyway. I can't stand the shouting, so I just left."

"Oh. That sucks."

"Eh, I'm used to it," she said. We stood in silence for about a minute. "What are you doing out so late?"

"I have something to do," I replied cryptically.

"What?"

"Its just… something."

"Mystique boy strikes again."

"How true," I laughed, and she smiled. In the faint light, I could see that she had a cut on her lip. "What happened there?" I asked, directing my question toward the blood running down her chin.

She frowned and touched one of her short fingers to her bleeding lip. "Mom hit me."

"Geez, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm just embarrassed that I actually have blood on my face. I find it very uncomfortable," she said plainly while attempting to stop the bleeding.

I moved towards her and said, "Here, let me help you." I extended my hand to her face and wiped the blood running down her chin off, and ripped a loose piece of cloth from my already-torn shirt and pressed it to her cut. "I wouldn't pin you for being a girl who didn't like blood."

"A lot of people wouldn't. I guess it's just because of my teeth."

"Your teeth do add that kind of vampiric edge."

"I was born with them like this. I don't know how, I just was."

I finished cleaning her face and said darkly, "A lot of guys find that whole vampire thing sexy, mostly because they invision vampire girls to be in spandex and leather, jumping around killing everything that moves. I blame Bloodrayne."

"Yeah?" she asked, very inquisitively. I nodded.

"I'm more of a blonde bombshell kind of guy."

"Yet you date Rory."

"Rory's special."

"So am I."

"Yes, but see, Rory and I have this… I don't know. I can't explain it. You seem like a perfectly nice girl and all, but you could loosen up on the baggy black clothes. Maybe you could get a guy better than Dean one day."

"I'm not changing my look just to get guys to like me. And Dean was desperate when he asked me out, thinking Rory would see that he could date a bad girl and he was totally wrong. Anyway, I think that he and Lindsey are like, poster American married couple material. It's adorable that way."

"Yeah. I guess they are," I said, grinning. She reminded me so much of the Gilmores with her wit, it was hard to believe I had never noticed her before. "How long have you lived in Stars Hollow?"

"My whole life, essentially. There was one point in time where we lived in Maine, but my Mom's from Florida so she demanded that my father move us down to somewhere a little bit warmer and you know what they say about Connecticut."

"Interesting." I paused. "As you probably already know, I'm from New York. This place isn't all bad, I guess."

"Yeah. I'd rather be in New York right now though."

"I'm not sure I would."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I have an amazing girlfriend that I think I really, truly love, and I'm starting to make an actual friend," I said, smiling down at Aerin, who returned the smile.

"If Rory is such an amazing girlfriend, why has she been avoiding you?"

"Finals, I guess."

"Right."

"Yeah."

"Well, she's an idiot."

"What?" I was kind of taken aback by what Aerin had just said.

"Apparently, she can't see what an amazing guy you are and that you two are, despite being very different, make a somewhat good couple."

"Thanks, I needed that," I said.

"You're welcome." Aerin simpered and looked me in the eye.

"I had better…" and before I could say, "go" Aerin's lips had found their way to mine. They were warm and tasted like copper due to the blood. She was a tender kisser, clearly experienced, but she had one fatal flaw – the teeth. Also, there was the fact that I didn't like her in the same why she liked me. I pushed her away and she averted her eyes. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking."

"The hell you weren't!"

"I'm sorry, Jess," she shouted, "but I just had to know what this quote unquote amazing girl had that I could never have, this something that she's avoiding, and let me tell you that she's missing a lot."

I sighed and said quietly, "Aerin, I like you, just… not in that way. Maybe someday you'll meet 'that guy' but for now, I'm not him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go have a heart-to-heart with my girlfriend." She just shook her head and sat down on the steps of the school.

"Fuck. Jess, I didn't mean… if that… I'm so sorry. Please, just, don't tell Rory."

"I won't if you won't," I said quietly. "In fact, I was going to ask you not to tell her."

"If either one of us tells her, Dean'll be on our respective assi in a millisecond."

"Yeah," I said, having to laugh at the strangely amusing reality of that.

"I don't want you two to have a bad ending, you know."

"Who? Dean and I? A happy ending would be a bad one."

"No, you and…"

"I know who you meant, Aerin."

"Okay. Well, I imagine my parents have stopped bickering by now. It's what, 2 A.M?"

"More like 1."

"Oh. They still have another hour then. You go save your relationship."

"Bye, Aerin," I said as I turned away.

"Jess, I really am sorry," Aerin said to my back. I just smiled shook my head, and continued walking.

When I arrived at the Gilmore residence, I saw that the lights were still on in Rory's room. She was probably still awake, studying. I walked silently up to her window and looked inside. She had fallen asleep in her books with the lights on. She looked angelic.

I tapped lightly on the window so as to wake Rory but not her mother. Considering the entire rest of the house was dark and Rory's door was closed, I assumed Lorelai was asleep. I tapped again and Rory jumped. She looked out at me and rushed over to the window.

"Jess, what are you doing here?" she whispered harshly.

"Can I come in?"

"It's one in the morning!"

"I know, just, I need to talk to you."

She huffed and opened her window widely enough for me to boost myself into. "You have blood on your lip," she said quietly as she rushed around the room, attempting to tidy up a bit. I wiped the stain off of my face as Rory turned to me. Still whispering, she asked, "What are you doing here?"

Before she could ask again, I swept her up in a passionate kiss, which she gladly returned. I pulled my lips away, but our bodies were still touching. "Hi," I whispered. She just stared up at me, breathing heavily.

She swallowed and again asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you."

"Why? Couldn't it wait until tomorrow?"

"No."

"Why not?" she asked as I caught her lips in mine again. Her hands slid over my arms and down to my hips (you know, manly hips) and I twirled her hair in my fingers. I hadn't felt her silky lips on mine in what seemed like forever. No kiss Aerin would ever give me would feel like this, ever. She placed a hand on my chest and pushed me away slightly. "Jess?"

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I asked her, straight.

She laughed, shocked, and pulled out of my hold. "Is that why you came here?"

"Yes. You've been avoiding me and I would like to know why."

"I have not been avoiding you."

"Do you love me?"

"What?" she just stood there and stared at me. I moved toward her.

"Do. You. Love. Me?" I repeated slowly. She bit her lip and averted her eyes when I held her chin in my hands. "Rory, please tell me." She took a step back and turned away from me. "Come on, Rory, talk to me."

"Yes, Jess. I love you. I think I may have always loved you, but I'm not entirely sure. From the moment I saw you, I thought I might grow to love you. I knew. All last year, I knew and I couldn't shake it and now… now it feels real, beyond real and I can't deal with that anymore. When I… when I was with Dean, it never felt like this. It never felt like there was this huge hole in my heart every time I wasn't near him." She turned to face me. "I've been avoiding you because, ever since we had… did… you know, ever since it happened, all I can think about is you and that's bad because I have finals coming up and I can't stop thinking about you. Every time I see you, every time I'm near you, I need to be in your arms and I need to be able to feel you and I can't deal with that. It's this new feeling that I don't understand and that I'm afraid of."

"Rory…" I started quietly as I walked toward her. "Rory, you don't ever have to feel scared around me. Ever. You have to know that."

"That's just it. I feel like I should be afraid of never being able to let you go, but I want it, I need it. I can't go without it, Jess, and that's the part that scares me." I traced her soft cheek with the side of my hand and kissed her gently. "I don't want to not love you."

"I know," I whispered almost silently before I kissed her again, still holding her cheek in one of my hands. As the kiss progressed, I held her face gently with both of my hands and she pulled me in slightly. I pulled away to look her in the eye. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know that," she whispered contentedly as she wrapped her arm around my neck and I brought her over to her bed. She sat back and we adjusted ourselves carefully. Rory reached over and turned off the light. I kissed her neck and she moaned under her breath. I could feel her arching into me and I knew that this was not a good idea, not with Lorelai in the house. But I couldn't think, all I could do was feel Rory under me and want to know that she loved me.

THE END of chapter twenty-one.

Some major Rory and Jess action, and much longer, to make up for the shortness of last chapter after that long wait.
Stay tuned for more.