Chapter 4

She was thankful that in her rushing fury to get to Bosco earlier, as he had attempted to shout the building down around them, that she had neglected to turn the lights on when she had come storming out her room. The darkness hid what she was sure was a vapid and stunned look on her face, suddenly stark white as all the blood drained out of her body and just as suddenly bright red in a fierce blush as it all rushed back…

Wanna give it a try...

Oh God…until he said it, she had no idea that was indeed exactly what she wanted, what she had been wanting for God knows how long. The realization left her torn, one part desperate to run and claw her way out of her apartment, getting as far away from him as possible, and the other, equal part wanting to fly across the room and throw herself into his arms. The two opposing forces combined to produce a in her a state of inertia, leaving her incapable of either.

"Hello Faith – you still over there?" His tone was light, slightly teasing. Of course, he was just kidding. Of course. I'm relieved, really…

Bosco took her silence as permission to elaborate on his theory.

"Well we could, you know – I'm a man, you're a woman. Physically it's possible"

Okay, this is how it will go. Two partners, just kidding around. Fine, I'm fine with that…He couldn't see as she took a deep breath, being sure when she spoke to put a smile in her voice;

"As good as I'm sure you are, Officer Boscorelli, I think the handcuffs could pose a problem"

"Oh, you'd be surprised" She could hear his answering grin in response to her manufactured lightness of tone, and she was shaken by how much of an effort it took for her to present that façade

"No I don't think I would be, actually" she said, taking a deep, balancing breath and forcing herself to chuckle as she crossed the room. Yeah, this is okay – joking with Bosco is always good. I'm happy with this, I will be.

She reached him quickly and sat down, relaxing back into the couch beside him. This was how it went with them, trite words, lame jokes and all was forgiven.

"So are we good?" His bantering tone was gone, serious now that they had progressed through the prescribed steps of their routine. He couldn't see her clearly and therefore couldn't read her expression, her body (thank God…) and without the visual cues they both relied on, he wasn't entirely sure they were okay, the make-up procedure successfully completed. Faith looked at him sideways in the dark. "Aren't we always?" she said, grateful that their visual connection wasn't present, as she knew he would see that she really wasn't good, this wasn't what she wanted, that something had changed.

They sat together in companionable silence for a minute or so, the handcuffs clinking softly as Bosco shifted position. "We could still tell them we did, you know"

"Hmm, did what?" Faith had closed her eyes and laid her head back on the couch, his arm across the back of couch adding support, at ease now that they had made up.

"That we did it" Her eyes snapped open. Bosco's hand had started playing with her hair.

"What are you talking about!"

""No, really – think about it. We could say we did it, mess with their heads. Serve them right for doing this to us..."

Faith turned her head to look at Bosco, who had shifted closer to her side in the dark. Oh right, the dark. She wriggled a little, moving in closer, knowing it helped him if someone was near.

"No, I don't think that's a good idea, Bos"

"Could be fun" She wasn't sure if he meant the possibility of telling people they did it, or the possibility of actually doing it, but she chose to reply as if it was the first scenario he was referring to.

"No, it would get messed up. Plus, I don't like lying…" Plus, I couldn't handle pretending, I couldn't handle it not being real.

"So, then let's not lie"

"Quit it"

"I'm just saying..."

"Well, don't" She jerked her head irritatedly, disentangling his fingers that had continued running through the ends of her hair. He lifted his hand back onto the couch, but left his arm in place.

I will not be hurt, it's just another stupid Bosco game, I will not cry…she repeated this to herself, a mantra of courage that was completely lacking in conviction, hoping she would begin to believe it, trying to pretend it didn't matter, knowing that it did. And that as soon as the lights were turned back on, he would read it on her, in every move she made. Even with the lights off, he would sense it soon enough. She never could hide from him.

Maybe I don't want to hide anymore...