***
I'll Cry These Tears Chapter 4 – I'm Sorry
***
"Lily, wait up!" James cried, his voice barely heard of the din of the rest of the students. Lily ignored him and kept pushing through the thick of people, some looking at her sympathetically and others getting out of her way.
"Lily!" he called again when Lily had burst through the doors and out into the deserted entrance hall, looking frantically for somewhere to hide. She wasn't in the mood for facing Potter right now. Hell, she wasn't in the mood for facing ANYONE!
Okay, she was in the mood for seeing one person right now, but it would not be on pleasant grounds, nor would he come out of it unscathed. Just one measly chance at showing John, if that was even his name, that she could hurt him too and she would be satisfied. Or as satisfied as you could get after being utterly humiliated in front of the entire school. She slammed her fist into the wall for being stupid, not noticing the pain or the tingle as blood caressed the top of her knuckles.
"Don't run away from me, Lily," James said quietly, coming up behind her. "I saw what happened."
Holding back the tears, Lily turned to face him, putting all the vicious hatred for what had happened tonight into her voice. "I don't need your sympathy, Potter!"
James looked sincerely hurt and Lily scalded herself. He didn't deserve her anger. He wasn't the reason she had been subject to this disrespect; he was only trying to help. At that thought her reserves softened a little.
"Sorry," she said more gently, lowering her head. "I didn't mean to take your head off. I just want to be alone."
James shook his head solemnly. "No you don't," he told her, placing two fingers under her chin and lifting her face to look at him. "You want to be with someone who will tell you it's alright, comfort you and mean it."
Lily shifted uncomfortably, blushing. She had never been this close to James before – scratch that. She had never been this close to Potter before. It was unnerving her. She wondered if it was just the fact that she was so close to a male body that was causing her senses to be in chaos or if it was Potter alone. She had certainly never gotten all jittery around any other boy... then again she'd never been so close to any other boy.
As if remembering what had just happened moments before, James pulled back and turned around, giving Lily a little time to regain her thoughts before his unwavering gaze returned.
"I am genuinely sorry about what happened in there," James told Lily, turning back to face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and she couldn't help give shiver in reaction. If he noticed he didn't show it. "I can't help but feel I could have prevented it somehow... That maybe I was somehow responsible?"
Lily wrenched away from James and glared at him. "Responsible? How could you be responsible for something like that?"
James looked at her in confusion. He had been trying to comfort her, why was she angry with him?
"You think, James Potter, that just because you play a few lousy pranks, crack a few lame jokes that you have become the do all and end all! Everyone is out to get you, everyone else wants to be your friend/lover/confidant, simply because you are James Potter!"
Lily's face was flushed with anger. "Poor Lily, she's just been humiliated in front of the whole school because that silly, mistreated Slytherin was out to get back at ME! James Potter! Did it ever occur to you that they just wanted a laugh? That they chose me because I'm a muggle-born and a Gryffindor to boot?"
Lily paused, catching her breath in the silence, before looking at James' shocked face. "No, I didn't think so," she said, almost silently in comparison to the shouting of before. She turned and walked away from James, heading in the direction of Gryffindor Tower.
Somehow, he had managed to stuff it up again. He sighed resignedly. Terribly, utterly and completely.
***
"Nope," Lily said as she walked past James in the common room, holding her hand in front of his mouth as he had been about to say something. "Say nothing, I'm not listening, might as well not speak, waste of breath," she ranted off, not pausing to let him interrupt.
He followed her over to the large cushioned couch as she sat down and flipped open her diary. "I'm not going to leave you alone until you listen."
Lily ignored him and began humming an annoying tune. She saw him move towards her out of the corner of her eye but she was not fast enough. She let out a cry of protest as her diary was wrenched from her fingers.
"Potter, you give that back this instant!" she shouted, glowering at him. He looked up at her innocently.
"I'm not going to read it, if that's what you're worried about," he reassured her. "I'm simply looking after it until you've heard what I have to say."
Lily watched him suspiciously. "And if I don't listen?"
James gave her a mischievous smile. "Well then." He began to open the diary in the middle. "Here looks like a good place to start..."
Lily gave a squeak of panic and attempted to wrestle the diary off James, to no avail. Panting slightly, she straightened up and fixed her hair, which was now in complete disarray before giving him a look of pure loathing. "You have my attention."
James sat back down on the couch and gestured for Lily to do the same. She did so, begrudgingly.
"I don't think you quite got my point about what I was saying earlier," he began but was swiftly interrupted.
"I can assure you Potter, I understood exactly what you mea--"
"No. You didn't," James finished, his impatience becoming clear. Lily quickly shut up. "Like I said, I can't help but feel I could have prevented what happened somehow, NOT because I felt they were trying to get back at me, but because I saw you two before it happened. I knew I had seen him before and it wasn't before you both stepped outside that I realized who he was and what he must be up to."
Lily was watching James and listening to him intently, not a word of criticism passed her lips.
"I had seen him with Lucius Malfoy. He is one of his most favourable cronies. I can only hazard a guess that it was Lucius Malfoy's doing behind what happened tonight. I tried to warn you but there were that many people dancing and I was on the other side of the hall. If I had managed to reach you and warn you in time..."
"I wouldn't have listened anyway," Lily finished, surprising him. "You aren't exactly high on my 'sure, lets just believe anything they say' list I'm afraid." James chuckled, lightening the mood.
"But really, I am sorry," he added sincerely, leaning forward and catching Lily's lips off guard. For a moment she almost found herself about to kiss back but reined those silly desires, pulling away.
"I really should go get some sleep," she told him, flustered. She stood up and walked over the stairs, turning around to find him staring dreamily into the flames of the fire. "J- Potter," she called, correcting herself in time, and he snapped his head in her direction. "I'm sorry... about earlier in the entrance hall." Then she was gone.
***
"Hey, don't kill the motor!" James said happily, up in the dormitory later that night. "What do I care that it was just an apology? It was an apology from LILY EVANS!"
Remus nodded weakly. "He has a point, Padfoot. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd hear of Lily apologizing to James. Never. The chances of it happening in my own lifetime were even smaller. It's quite a big deal."
"Miracles do happen," Peter said wistfully, frowning at his Potions homework. "Although, how you managed to get her to do it after kissing her, I have no idea. I would have expected you to be away from civilisation for a few years looking for your *ahemadultcontentahem* after she cut them off and hid them in the seven corners of the world."
The room was filled with raucous laughter, Sirius rolling about on the bed before reaching over and patting Peter on the back. "Good one, Wormy!"
James feigned a look of indignation on his face. "Ye of little faith."
"Well, she has hated you for the best part of four and a half years..." Sirius reasoned. "You expect us to be avid followers of the 'Lily Evans/James Potter WILL get married, buy a house, have kids, grow old and live happily ever after' idea? Sorry if we disappoint you."
"And again, another excellent point. Boy are you three on a roll tonight. Why can't you show this enthusiasm during class?" Remus dodged as three large, feather down pillows were thrown at him. "What?" he asked innocently.
***
There, another chapter finished. Sorry it's so short, but it will have to do :)
Hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review!!!
I'll Cry These Tears Chapter 4 – I'm Sorry
***
"Lily, wait up!" James cried, his voice barely heard of the din of the rest of the students. Lily ignored him and kept pushing through the thick of people, some looking at her sympathetically and others getting out of her way.
"Lily!" he called again when Lily had burst through the doors and out into the deserted entrance hall, looking frantically for somewhere to hide. She wasn't in the mood for facing Potter right now. Hell, she wasn't in the mood for facing ANYONE!
Okay, she was in the mood for seeing one person right now, but it would not be on pleasant grounds, nor would he come out of it unscathed. Just one measly chance at showing John, if that was even his name, that she could hurt him too and she would be satisfied. Or as satisfied as you could get after being utterly humiliated in front of the entire school. She slammed her fist into the wall for being stupid, not noticing the pain or the tingle as blood caressed the top of her knuckles.
"Don't run away from me, Lily," James said quietly, coming up behind her. "I saw what happened."
Holding back the tears, Lily turned to face him, putting all the vicious hatred for what had happened tonight into her voice. "I don't need your sympathy, Potter!"
James looked sincerely hurt and Lily scalded herself. He didn't deserve her anger. He wasn't the reason she had been subject to this disrespect; he was only trying to help. At that thought her reserves softened a little.
"Sorry," she said more gently, lowering her head. "I didn't mean to take your head off. I just want to be alone."
James shook his head solemnly. "No you don't," he told her, placing two fingers under her chin and lifting her face to look at him. "You want to be with someone who will tell you it's alright, comfort you and mean it."
Lily shifted uncomfortably, blushing. She had never been this close to James before – scratch that. She had never been this close to Potter before. It was unnerving her. She wondered if it was just the fact that she was so close to a male body that was causing her senses to be in chaos or if it was Potter alone. She had certainly never gotten all jittery around any other boy... then again she'd never been so close to any other boy.
As if remembering what had just happened moments before, James pulled back and turned around, giving Lily a little time to regain her thoughts before his unwavering gaze returned.
"I am genuinely sorry about what happened in there," James told Lily, turning back to face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and she couldn't help give shiver in reaction. If he noticed he didn't show it. "I can't help but feel I could have prevented it somehow... That maybe I was somehow responsible?"
Lily wrenched away from James and glared at him. "Responsible? How could you be responsible for something like that?"
James looked at her in confusion. He had been trying to comfort her, why was she angry with him?
"You think, James Potter, that just because you play a few lousy pranks, crack a few lame jokes that you have become the do all and end all! Everyone is out to get you, everyone else wants to be your friend/lover/confidant, simply because you are James Potter!"
Lily's face was flushed with anger. "Poor Lily, she's just been humiliated in front of the whole school because that silly, mistreated Slytherin was out to get back at ME! James Potter! Did it ever occur to you that they just wanted a laugh? That they chose me because I'm a muggle-born and a Gryffindor to boot?"
Lily paused, catching her breath in the silence, before looking at James' shocked face. "No, I didn't think so," she said, almost silently in comparison to the shouting of before. She turned and walked away from James, heading in the direction of Gryffindor Tower.
Somehow, he had managed to stuff it up again. He sighed resignedly. Terribly, utterly and completely.
***
"Nope," Lily said as she walked past James in the common room, holding her hand in front of his mouth as he had been about to say something. "Say nothing, I'm not listening, might as well not speak, waste of breath," she ranted off, not pausing to let him interrupt.
He followed her over to the large cushioned couch as she sat down and flipped open her diary. "I'm not going to leave you alone until you listen."
Lily ignored him and began humming an annoying tune. She saw him move towards her out of the corner of her eye but she was not fast enough. She let out a cry of protest as her diary was wrenched from her fingers.
"Potter, you give that back this instant!" she shouted, glowering at him. He looked up at her innocently.
"I'm not going to read it, if that's what you're worried about," he reassured her. "I'm simply looking after it until you've heard what I have to say."
Lily watched him suspiciously. "And if I don't listen?"
James gave her a mischievous smile. "Well then." He began to open the diary in the middle. "Here looks like a good place to start..."
Lily gave a squeak of panic and attempted to wrestle the diary off James, to no avail. Panting slightly, she straightened up and fixed her hair, which was now in complete disarray before giving him a look of pure loathing. "You have my attention."
James sat back down on the couch and gestured for Lily to do the same. She did so, begrudgingly.
"I don't think you quite got my point about what I was saying earlier," he began but was swiftly interrupted.
"I can assure you Potter, I understood exactly what you mea--"
"No. You didn't," James finished, his impatience becoming clear. Lily quickly shut up. "Like I said, I can't help but feel I could have prevented what happened somehow, NOT because I felt they were trying to get back at me, but because I saw you two before it happened. I knew I had seen him before and it wasn't before you both stepped outside that I realized who he was and what he must be up to."
Lily was watching James and listening to him intently, not a word of criticism passed her lips.
"I had seen him with Lucius Malfoy. He is one of his most favourable cronies. I can only hazard a guess that it was Lucius Malfoy's doing behind what happened tonight. I tried to warn you but there were that many people dancing and I was on the other side of the hall. If I had managed to reach you and warn you in time..."
"I wouldn't have listened anyway," Lily finished, surprising him. "You aren't exactly high on my 'sure, lets just believe anything they say' list I'm afraid." James chuckled, lightening the mood.
"But really, I am sorry," he added sincerely, leaning forward and catching Lily's lips off guard. For a moment she almost found herself about to kiss back but reined those silly desires, pulling away.
"I really should go get some sleep," she told him, flustered. She stood up and walked over the stairs, turning around to find him staring dreamily into the flames of the fire. "J- Potter," she called, correcting herself in time, and he snapped his head in her direction. "I'm sorry... about earlier in the entrance hall." Then she was gone.
***
"Hey, don't kill the motor!" James said happily, up in the dormitory later that night. "What do I care that it was just an apology? It was an apology from LILY EVANS!"
Remus nodded weakly. "He has a point, Padfoot. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd hear of Lily apologizing to James. Never. The chances of it happening in my own lifetime were even smaller. It's quite a big deal."
"Miracles do happen," Peter said wistfully, frowning at his Potions homework. "Although, how you managed to get her to do it after kissing her, I have no idea. I would have expected you to be away from civilisation for a few years looking for your *ahemadultcontentahem* after she cut them off and hid them in the seven corners of the world."
The room was filled with raucous laughter, Sirius rolling about on the bed before reaching over and patting Peter on the back. "Good one, Wormy!"
James feigned a look of indignation on his face. "Ye of little faith."
"Well, she has hated you for the best part of four and a half years..." Sirius reasoned. "You expect us to be avid followers of the 'Lily Evans/James Potter WILL get married, buy a house, have kids, grow old and live happily ever after' idea? Sorry if we disappoint you."
"And again, another excellent point. Boy are you three on a roll tonight. Why can't you show this enthusiasm during class?" Remus dodged as three large, feather down pillows were thrown at him. "What?" he asked innocently.
***
There, another chapter finished. Sorry it's so short, but it will have to do :)
Hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review!!!