I felt like writing a humor with Naruto in it. This is a tribute to a fabulous author, but she took off her funniest story, damnit! Anyways, this is wholly dedicated on this magnificent author (bows down), who inspired me to write humor by her own, (very) unique and random Yugioh humor.
Disclaimer: The black ink that dances on this paper signifies death, while the purity of the white paper symbolizes life, and as the two dance together in a wild craze, we have a very complicated metaphor which has nothing to do with why I don't own Naruto.
Warning: Crude jokes, Political jokes, blah blah blah—the good stuff.
CHAPTER ONE: Sasuke Visits the Psychiatrist
(And now here, amidst in space, we have…Oh, what do we have here! It looks like, a floating unidentifiable thing…It has glasses…And…Dear God! It's holding a Pink Notepad!)
Psychiatrist: Shut up
(No, you)
Psychiatrist: …No, you
(No, you)
Psychiatrist: No, you
(Make me)
Psychiatrist: Don't make me make you…
(Don't make me make you make me)
Psychiatrist: Don't make me make you make me make---
Sasuke: (walks in the door) Who are you talking to…?
Psychiatrist: Uhhereerrr….
(floats away)
Psychiatrist: …(coughs) Well, let's start, shall we? (horribly nacho-cheesious smile)
Sasuke: ….
Psychiatrist: (gestures) Please, sit down!
Sasuke: (annoyed) I don't need sign language, mister
Psychiatrist: …Er, yes yes…now how do you feel today, Say-sook?
Sasuke: (twitches) It's Sasuke.
Psychiatrist: Ahh, sorry about that, Sah-soo….ki. Anyways, how do you feel today?
Sasuke: (growls, but dismisses it) I'm fine.
Psychiatrist: So I've been hearing that you're having problems with your Sharingan. How so?
Sasuke: Well….when I turn it on I sometimes feel strange….As if something is not quite right…It's as if…as if—
Psychiatrist: —The world has gone red?
Sasuke: Right! ….And I have no idea why
Psychiatrist: (sweatdrops)
Sasuke: (banters on) So anyways, it goes all red, and I'm like—whoa! Am I seeing blood or somethin'?
Psychiatrist: (scribbles on pink notepad) I see…I see….
(Three Hours Later)
Sasuke: And then I went to the airport, and the security was there…and then they took out my nail clippers and were like, freaking out, man! They were all like: We have a serious situation! Call the CIA! Oh my Lord! I think it's starting to bite me! GAHHHHH!
Psychiatrist: (not listening)
Sasuke: Yeah, it was great! And then we went to get Chinese takeout, and man, you should have seen what my brother did! HA HA HA!
Psychiatrist: (draws an X on a tic tac toe) Mmhmmm….Yeah….Okay….Whatever…yeah…sure….whatever….
Sasuke: Oh yeah! There was this one time where my friend and me got into who would be for president! I was like, totally rootin there for Kerry, and my friend was like, for Kerry! And then he said was like: 'If Bush and Dick are in the same office, someone's bound to get screwed.' I mean, I was like, DUDE! THAT IS HARDCORE MAN!
Random Person: (walks in) How dare you! I spit at your feet! Ptooey! (walks out)
Sasuke: ….
Psychiatrist: ….
Sasuke: ………….(sharingan flickers)
Psychiatrist: …..Hmmm….so sausage-ke, isn't the sharingan the "wheel of destruction" or something like that?
Sasuke: (left eye twitches) It's just called Sharingan.
Psychiatrist: (shakes head gently, disagreeing) No no, I could have sworn it was called a wheel….
Sasuke: (growls) I prefer sharingan…
Psychiatrist: A wheel
Sasuke: sharingan
Psychiatrist: wheel
Sasuke: sharingan
Psychiatrist: wheel
Sasuke: sharingan
Psychiatrist: wheel
Sasuke: I'm not giving up
Psychiatrist: I'm not giving up either
Sasuke: I'm not giving up since you're not giving up
Psychiatrist: I'm not giving up since you're not giving up
Sasuke: As far as I'm concerned, you've run out of steam
Psychiatrist: (eyes narrow down as he rolls up sleeves) Let's take this out, boy….out in the parking lot!
Sasuke: I'd rather kill you here… (flicks kunai at shrink's head)
Psychiatrist: (screams like a girl)
Sasuke: (smirks)
Psychiatrist: (still screaming like a girl)
Sasuke: (smirk falters)
Psychiatrist: (still screaming)
Sasuke: (smirk disappears)
Psychiatrist: (screaming)
Sasuke: (frown starts to appear)
Psychiatrist: (screaming as if his life depended on it)
Sasuke: (frown growing)
Psychiatrist: (still screaming)
Sasuke: (activates Sharingan)
Psychiatrist: (curiously, scream turns several pitches higher)
Sasuke: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WILL EVER YOU SHUT UP?!?
Psychiatrist: AAAAAHH—eep.
Sasuke: (stomps out)
Oh no! Sasuke never fixed his 'problem'! Is there even a 'problem'?? Or is the authoress trying to cook up a pathetic excuse for a plot? And when you think about it, what IS popcorn? I don't know. I don't think my lucky eight ball knows either.