Warning: Flashes of NejiHina may come about. I already warned you about the yaoi.
Disclaimer: Yes! I own them! I own every single jellybean—what? You mean Naruto? Oh, no, I don't own one of those.
Psychiatrist: Sooo! Do any of you have problems? Issues? Things you'd like to talk about?
Kiba: Hehehe….I like eating….hot dogs! Hahahaha!
Shino: .
Ino: Ooo! Ooo! I like this one guy, who has like, you know…like, black hair, and like….has a bloodline? But I don't know if he likes me too, you know? Like, I like, always thought he was a hottie too….Heeheeheeeheee.
Neji: ….You like me?
Shikamaru: (face faults) -.- …..No, she's talking about Sasuke….
Kiba: Hahaha! And I like to put…..(eyes shift side to side) …Jalapeno on my hot dogs! Hahahaha! My hot dogs then sure become HOT! Ahahahahahaaaaaaa!
Psychiatrist: (seriously disturbed) Eur….(looks at clock, and sees that it's lunch break) Okay everyone! Lunch break!
(Cafeteria)Naruto: (pokes his vegetables suspiciously) I'm not sure my broccoli is really dead. I mean, it's sort of jumping around…
(broccoli swells up twenty times its own size)
Naruto: O.O What the—?!?!
Shino: (uses his nice soprano vocal chords) EEEEEEEEEEEEEKK!!!
Lee: My God people! Run for your lives! Don't you see that the broccoli is attacking?! Are you blind while consuming your lumpy fishsticks?! It's eating the lunch ladies!
(everyone continues to eat and talk)
(broccoli now sitting in beach chair sipping a cold glass of lemonade with the a slice of lemon on side)
Shikamaru: There's only one way to solve this….
Hinata: ??
Shikamaru: …..DIP IT IN CHEESE AND EAT IT!
Hinata: (makes the Tom Cruise face when he's about to dip cheese on broccoli and eat it)
Everyone: (cries like little ants and starts to throw pails of cheese on the giant eight foot tall tree, while wielding pitchforks)
Sasuke: (clearly disgusted)
Naruto: (covered in cheese) There are not enough people to eat this thing! We need reinforcements!
Sasuke: (stares at Naruto and unconsciously licks lips)
(A deep voice reverberates around the room)
Deep voice that reverberates around the room: Did somebody need reinforcements?
Naruto: Rrghhh…..Just help us eat this damn thing!
Lee: (adorably) Hey! Bad words no good!
Chouji: (appears from the shadows) Never fear! For Chouji is here! Prepare for trouble!
Chouji's dad: And make it double!
Chouji: To protect the world from devastation!
Chouji's dad: To unite all peoples within our nation!
Chouji: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
Chouji's dad: To extend our reach to the starts above!
Chouji: (flashes smile) Chouji!
Chouji's dad: (flashes smile) Chouji's father!
Chouji: Team—
Naruto: (interrupts) um…can you just help us eat this first?
Sasuke: (coughs)
Neji: (coolly) Since when did Pokemon get involved with Naruto? It was not Naruto's destiny to have mingled with other anime.
Hinata: (blushes, stammering) U-um….N-neji-san….I-I-I don't th-think it's our b-business…
Neji: (Eyes flutter to Hinata, then rudely looks the other way) Hmph….fine….have it your way….
Chouji: (looks around) so where's the grub?
Chouji's dad: (Eyes happen to land on the giant veggie) SACRE BLEU!!
Chouji: ……OHHH YEAHHH BABY! LET'S DIG IN! (fishes out tiny spork out of pocket)
Chouji's dad: (sour face) That's old school, son. Meet the NEW REVOLUTION! (whips out a foonife) A FORK, SPOON, AND KNIFE ALL IN ONE!
Chouji: (eyes sparkle) Woowwwww…..
Chouji's dad: (charges towards the broccoli)
Broccoli: (glares) RAWRR!
(678 seconds later)
Chouji: ughhh….I never want to eat broccoli or cheese again…..
Chouji's dad: (stares at Kiba's hot dog) Hey, you gonna eat that?
Kiba: O.o
Oh no! What is this story coming to?! And what happened to the broccoli? Will Chouji's dad ever overcome his hunger? Why does Kiba keep talking about hot dogs? And when will love ever sprout for Sasuke and Naruto? Tune in next time for a new chapter!