I have come back to do a little Christmas Carol! (I know, I know, it's just twelve minutes before Christmas ends, but…) Puhaha! This mini shot to the story is a full parody of "A Christmas Carol" By Charles Dickens. Also known as, Darles Chickens.

Useless Warning: Samara, Gaara's evil twin sister shall appear in this chapter, (although she's quite boring right now since she's on vacation from killing people) and you can see her wrong-side-of-the-bed grouchiness in the movie: "The Ring"

Another Useless Warning: The story: "A Christmas Carol" has been thoroughly destroyed by eBooeBoo's handiwork. Do not be disturbed of Sesame Street. It's quite a lovely tv show.

Disclaimer: Happy Holidays! Bonnes Fetes! Schöne Feiertage! Auguri di Buone Feste!

It's so fun to write disclaimers…

Ebenezer Scrooge: Gaara

Jacob Marley (Scrooge's partner): Gaara's evil twin sister, sweet sweet Samara

Bob Cratchit (employee of Scrooge): Naruto

Fred (nephew of Scrooge): Kiba

I'm sure you will all find out the rest of the characters as you read on. Puhaha. ha.

Enjoy!

(It's a beautiful day as Naruto makes his way towards Scrooge's office)

Naruto: (knocks on door) ….Gaara-sama?

Gaara: (flings open the door, growling) What?!

Naruto: Er, can I have the day off tomorrow?

Gaara: (rubs chin thoughtfully) Hmmm………No.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: (calmly) No.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: No.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: No.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: Remember….I know where you live.

Naruto: O.o eep.

Gaara: Ahhh. Much better. All right. You may have a third of the day off.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: No.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: No.

Naruto: But—

Gaara: (snaps) Fine! You may have tomorrow off.

Naruto: Thank you sir! ….Wait, what about my pay?

Gaara: Oh yes, here you go. (gives a bitten cheese stick)

Naruto: ….Huh? What about my money?

Gaara: …DO YOU WANT ME TO FIRE YOU?!?!

Naruto: O.o (runs off) Goodbye sir! Um, Merry Christmas!

Random Chuunin: (walks in) You have just defied the court of law. You will, uh, remain, uh…silent…er…

Random Jounin: You will remain silent under the…uh, court of law?

Random Chuunin: …Yeah! That's it!

Naruto: (flustered) What? What did I do?

Random Chuunin: Article 27 section 435 in the Constitution of Konoha; upon mentioning one religious holiday, you must then name all the other holidays, in order to avoid further difficulty of having many reviewers rampage across this chapter. Thank you and have a nice day. (drives off)

Naruto: Um…okay. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Yule, Asara B'Tevet, Merry Litha, Good Omisoka, —

Gaara: Zzzz….zzzz…..(scarily, he has his eyes open)

Naruto: (sighs and dejectedly walks away)

Gaara: (tucked in bed, holding a squeaky teddy bear) You know, Samara…This weird guy came up to me today and asked if he could have the day off….

Bear: Squeak. (Shut up.)

Gaara: I had no idea who he was…

Bear: Squeakity squeak. (Maybe because you have amnesia.)

Gaara: Yeah yeah….I know…he was probably my employee; the same one that kept asking for a raise…That jerk…Maybe he was the one who put cat litter in my sandwhich…

Bear: … (…)

Gaara: (yawns) I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, Samara.

Bear: Squeak.

(Samara pops up in a hazy mist of a dream)

Samara: Gaaraaaaaaaa……

Gaara: (turns around to face Samara with his morning face)

Samara: Oh Gaaraaaaaaaaaa—AAHHH!!!!!

Gaara: —.— …What?

Samara: (coughs) You…look nice. Anyways, I'm here to tell you to go rape Naruto.

Gaara: …Why?

Samara: Because I said so.

Gaara: But…but I don't want to.

Samara: Do it!

Rabid-Gaara/Naruto-rape-fangirls: DO IT!!

Gaara: (turns to teddy bear) I hate peer pressure.

Samara: Anyways, on to less important matters…I have come to tell you to not follow in my footsteps, because then you'll end up doomed like me—oh, and three other ghosts are coming. Also, upon waking up this dream, you're supposed to be a good man that sees the flaws in his ways—

Random Chuunin: (wacks her head) Don't go telling the plot holes! (runs away)

Samara: …

Gaara: …

Samara: …Hey before I go, I want to tell you to STOP NAMING STUFFED ANIMALS AFTER ME!! (poofs away)

Gaara: ….Who the hell was she?

Bear: Squeak! (Amnesia, Gaara. Amnesia.)

Yondaime: (pops up) You are Gaara, I presume?

Gaara: ….Yes.

Yondaime: Alright! I'm here to show you your past!

Gaara: I have a past?

Bear: Squeaky. (Or maybe you just have Alzheimer)

(Both Yondaime and Gaara travel through air and time and finally stop at an open window)

Genma: (screams like a girl and shuts the shower curtain)

Gaara: O.O

Yondaime: (sweatdrops and flies on) Sorry. That wasn't part of the trip.

Gaara: O.O

Yondaime: (leads to another window)

Gaara: (shields eyes) Is it…safe?

Yondaime: Yes, here's the right one!

(Window shows Gaara's horrible childhood, such as when Kankuro broke Gaara's toy helicopter)

Gaara: (wipes tear) Dear Betty. Dear dear Betty. Her choppers weren't even ready for flying!

Yondaime: …

Gaara: (sniffles)

(Window shows Gaara beating up Kankuro)

Gaara: Nyahaha! (snorts) Good times. Good times.

(Window breaks down): Error. Error. Malfunctioning. Window's shutting down. Windows shutting down in 10…9….8…6…

Gaara: What about seven??

Window: Just kidding. 5…4….3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (randomly and spontaneously combusts)

Yondaime: (apparently doesn't know what to do now) Uh…That's all for now. (disappears)

Gaara: ….What? Fine, meanhead. Er, I mean, (looks around suspiciously, before whispering) …poophead. (blushes in shame of using such an atrocious word)

Gaara: (has been waiting for three hours) When is the next ghost coming?!

Kakashi: (pops up) I'm sorry, I ran into some inconvenience along the way. You see, I didn't get to have two eggs for breakfast, and I always have two eggs for breakfast, and so I was pondering on what to eat for breakfast.

Gaara: (flatly) Three. Hours.

Kakashi: (grins) Yup. It was fun. Anyways, I'm here to show you your present time! (grabs Gaara)

(Both travel through air and time and finally stop at an open window)

Kakashi: (cheerfully) I'm Kakashi, and you're my next client, Gaara, right?

Gaara: (nods slowly) …Why are you wearing high heels and a big green robe?

Kakashi: I'm a giant. And these aren't high heels! They're just…really…high……heels….(falters off)

Gaara: Alright, fine, don't tell me about your stupid robe.

Kakashi: (In a jolly tone) We're going to have so much fun! We're going to watch the stars…eat pancakes outside…maybe even toast them a bit…

Gaara: Isn't that for marshamellows?

Kakashi: (ignores him) …maybe even roast them…And eat it with THE UZUMAKI FAMILY!

Gaara: Whuzza whuzza?? Uzumawhatchacallit?

Kakashi: (leads Gaara to a window)

Random Jounin: (screams like a girl and shuts the shower curtain)

Gaara: Oh God! Stop showing me these naked people!

Kakashi: (sheepishly) Sorry. (leads to another window)

Gaara: (peeks cautiously, lest it show another person in the shower) ….what is this?

(window shows the Uzumaki family, with Naruto's wife, Sasuke, tending the stove and chibi Sasukes and Narutos blindly running around)

Gaara: They look…happy.

Kakashi: Nope. Look again.

(window shows a tiny child, sitting on a chair looking frail)

Konohomaru: Daddy…(cough cough)

Naruto: Yeah, brat?

Konohomaru: Am I sick?

Naruto: What a stupid question! Of….of course you're not! You're…..hell…thee….(drifts off) …healthy.

Konohomaru: (confused) I'm hell?

Naruto: (finishes) Thee.

Sasuke: (wacks Naruto's head) Stop it, dobe.

Naruto: (sticks out tongue) Bleh.

(Naruto and Sasuke then enter a kissing match)

Gaara: So…remind me why I'm watching this?

Kakashi: (watching intently) Wait….wait….they're starting to take off the clothes….this will be a good one….

Gaara: (bellows) TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS RATED R SCENE!! NOW!!!!!

Kakashi: o.O Eep. Yes sir. (snaps fingers and window disappears)

Gaara: (growls; eyes appear to be glowing red) Now. What.?

Kakashi: Uh….I think my mom's calling me. Gotta go. Bye! (poofs away)

Gaara: (mutters) I'm going to kill him…

Bear: Squeaky Squeak! (He's a ghost, moron!)

Gaara: (has waited for the past 4 days) WHERE THE HELL IS THE LAST GHOST?!?!?!

Sarutobi: (mysteriously appears next to Gaara's shoulder)

Gaara: (screams)

Sarutobi: (screams)

Gaara: (screams like a girl)

Sarutobi: (screams like a 64 year old man)

Gaara: (pants) Don't scare me like that! How long were you here?!

Sarutobi: (writes with chalk on chalkboard, then flips board around)

Gaara: (reads) The…past…four……days?!

Sarutobi: (nods silently)

Gaara: (grumbles) You could have said something, you know….

Sarutobi: (scribbles on chalkboard)

Gaara: (reads) You can't talk, eh?

Sarutobi: (shakes head silently)

Gaara: Oh…

Sarutobi: (points onward)

Gaara: What? (sees tombstones) Oh dear.

Sarutobi: (points west)

Gaara: (reads tombstone) Wicked Witch of the West. Murdered by a house. Oh dear.

Sarutobi: (shakes head, still pointing west)

Gaara: (reads another tombstone) Bill Gates. Died at sea. Hmmm….I never knew he was a sailor…

Sarutobi: (stomps foot, shaking head, still pointing west)

Gaara: (reads yet another tombstone) Tiny Tim. Died from Ubercolosiskarposisarcomahepatitus. …….What?! What kind of disease is that?!

Sarutobi: (writes furiously on chalkboard, then flips it around)

Gaara: (reads) A…new…form….of….AIDS…..Hmmm…..(shrugs) figures.

Sarutobi: (points ahead)

Gaara: (reads a small, neglected grave) Ebenezer Gaara…Oh no! (falls in grave, therefore falling in a deep dark abyss) NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!!!!!!

Gaara: (wakes up) ….I'm a new man!! (flings out the door in his pajamas and goes to the store)

Store clerk: What can I get you?

Gaara: (Looks around, then spots a turkey the size of Michael Jordan) I want that one! That big fat one, I say!

Store clerk: Okay Dokay Artichoke.The big bird isdubbed "Big Bird", from Sesame Street. A fine piece of meat, ain't it? That'll be twenty shillings.

Gaara: (plops a bag of gold coins on the counter) Thank you, my good man! (saunters out, dragging "Big Bird") Now, off to the Uzumaki's! (heaves the turkey through town, finally appearing on Uzumaki's doorstep)

Naruto: (cracks open the door, gasping) Gaara?!

Gaara: Here's a fine turkey for you! And you are having a raise, my boy! Now I'm off, to see dear, dear Kiba! Good day to you all! (drops turkey on Naruto)

Naruto: Thank you, Mr. Gaara!

Gaara: (nods happily before running off)

I'm terribly sorry if all of you are disappointed in any way. Please excuse Gaara's OOC, for he drank too much rum before volunteering for this chapter. Also Naruto's OOC can be excused too, for he became delirious after being locked in the closet with Sasuke. Konohomaru was adopted by Naruto and Sasuke. Figures. Merry Christmas everyone! (For the remaining 3 minutes)