Author's notes: This short series is divided into 7, unconnected short stories dealing with each of the seven sins. Lust. Sloth. Gluttony. Wrath. Pride. Greed. Envy. Each chapter is assigned to a different character, although not always the character you might expect. Most of the chapters are gen, featuring no relationships at all, but there are a couple of exceptions, including this chapter which features a male/male pairing. The rating overall is PG-13, as a couple of the chapters are deserving of that rating. As always, any reviews and comments are very much welcomed!
Lust.
Ruwalk liked to watch them, the perfect pair shaped from convenience. Beautiful Raselane, with her gentle nature and kind smile. Familiar Lykouleon, with his dashing looks and good natured grin. They were considered the ideal, the standard by which all love should be based on, and perhaps Ruwalk would have found it as sweet as the bards did if he liked to watch them both as a pair and not simply by default. To watch Lykouleon, was to watch Raselane.
And so, Ruwalk watched them both, but it was only Lykouleon he truly saw.
There were days when this spectator sport became almost masochistic, and there were days when it most certainly was. It was hard not to see everything through a jaded screen, one colored that way by a passionate friendship that had spilt easily into the bedroom, unhindered by such things as status or royalty or convenience. Ruwalk had found it all to be perfect, even if that definition only suited them.
But then he'd had to watch, banished to the sidelines and replaced by another. He'dwatched as his closest friend had married a stranger, watched as Lykouleon tried to bond with someone who cared as little for him as he did for her.
Watched as they fell in love.
Memories haunted his bed, ones of completion and warmth, promises and acceptance. They were all he had now; they were all that were still his.
Lykouleon certainly didn't seem to possess them anymore.
Occasionally, Ruwalk wondered if perhaps it was not merely Lykouleon's heart he no longer belonged in, but this new, perfectly crafted, perfectly fake world of his, as well. It was not a world Ruwalk was all that familiar with, one where loyalty was brought through bloodlines and friendships did not extend beyond warm smiles and good advice.
Lykouleon's world left Ruwalk cold.
All Ruwalk was ever allowed to do now, after all, was to simply watch. And he did. Watched the way Lykouleon walked, watched the way the corner of his lips would curve up just slightly when he was seeing humor in a situation that everyone else considered deadly serious. And as he watched, Ruwalk pretended that he was the one Lykouleon walked beside and that it was with him that Lykouleon shared his secret little smile. It was not that Lykouleon didn't still smile at Ruwalk, but they were not smiles that promised rendezvous' in closets or empty corridors, nor were they grins that were wickedly wild.
But he watched, just in case.
He didn't think anyone else knew about Lykouleon and the secret little watcher that he had picked up along the way. Alfeegi was blind to all things that held no numerical value, while Kai-stern saw everything through his own, Rath colored glasses. And Lykouleon himself had forgotten. Each moment. Each touch. The basic necessities of lust.
No one knew, no one at all. At least, that was what Ruwalk liked to think. There were days when Tetheus seemed to suddenly turn cold instead of appearing merely indifferent, and dark eyes threatened silently. Tetheus was different to everyone in the castle, his dedication was not to morality or helping others, but simply and only to Lykouleon. If Ruwalk dared to upset Lykouleon's perfect happiness in any way, Tetheus would not be there to pick up the pieces but instead to dispose of them.
So all he can do was watch as the one he wanted slipped further into the life of another, and Lykouleon's private bodyguard ruined even the faintest daydream for the past.
If it was not for Tetheus, then Lykouleon would be his. Ruwalk would have risked it all, convinced Lykouleon through kisses and caresses. If it was not for Raselane, then he would have reclaimed Lykouleon. Bloodlines only mattered if an heir could be produced as a result. If it was not for Lykouleon, then they would be together. But Lykouleon no longer wanted him. And it hurt. It hurt. Raw and harsh, the feeling was as familiar as breathing and just as constant a companion.
Drowning. Dying. No longer truly existing. It was all the same.
It was all Ruwalk had, as his arm snaked around slim shoulders; as he ran a friendly hand through finely spun hair. He whispered and smiled, patted a silk-clad arm or playfully buttoned up Lykouleon's shirt properly after he's just emerged, half naked, from the bathing rooms.
And he watched, but always from a distance.