Diary of a Murderer

by squaredancer

Extract: "I had values. Notice the word had? I had values. Perhaps not any more, but it is comforting to know that they were there once." Peter Pettigrew tells his story through the flow of ink against parchment.

8. Heir of Slytherin

Diary Of A Murderer Chapter 8 – Heir of Slytherin

I can sense him.

Oh God! I can feel him here. The mark burns upon my arm. Paw. Furry thing. Whatever you would prefer to call the limb that is attached to my shoulder, but I can FEEL him. He is here, in Hogwarts. And it scares me. Surely he is not here to have his revenge on me? Because of one silly little mistake such as leading him to his demise? Surely not...

I'm dead.

But he never knew my Animagus form, and surely he thinks I died by Sirius Black's hand? Perhaps while the threat of Voldemort remains I might just let everyone carry on thinking that. Just to be on the safe side.

Maybe I'm going crazy? Maybe the whole 'rat' thing is taking me to an early grave? Or maybe not. If anything senses are heightened in rat form. I can hear better, see better and most definitely smell better. And his scent hides in the dark recesses of the castle. The parts where only something small can get. Something like a rat.

I can smell him everywhere. His scent lines the corridors, the Great Hall. The only place I can't smell him as strong is the Common Room, but his scent is still there, as if it clings to the student's robes.

I came back late that night, confused and more than a little scared. Instructed to come back the next night, same place, same time. And I did so.

I began to withdraw from the others slightly. Or not withdraw, more like become quiet. Before I met Voldemort, I was quite loud, enthusiastic and some even say humorous. I had the mark emblazoned on my arm after the second month, when he was sure I could take it. And when he was sure I was loyal.

I began to think of him as my family, which was clearly very foolish. To be a part of a family is to love and be loved. Neither of them were parts of that family. I was merely scared of him, I didn't love him. And he needed followers. So really that is not really a very strong family. But I was young and foolish.

I'd like to think that we all grow out of it. Do we? I wonder if I will. I'm sure I will. Perhaps I have already? Was there something in that mashed potato, I seem to be acting a bit strange. Anyway, I must find out who it is that is concealing Voldemort. I would like to think that no one was purposefully letting him within the castle but the chances of him getting in of his own accord are very slim... even if he is the greatest Dark Wizard there ever was and the Heir of Slytherin.

Wormtail.