I'm so sorry it's taking me so long to update! I've had so much work! However, chap13 is here! I hope you like it! And don't read too much into the Max thing…
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Bryan propped himself up against the wall behind him and held his forehead in his trembling palms. It was too much for him to take in all at once. When he'd read the file, he'd hoped it wasn't true, and that it was just the doctor making everything sound worse to get more money. But it was true- and Bryan wasn't coping.
Even though- now he thought about it- he had always wondered. Always known something was up, even when he was a kid at the abbey.
Dull memories of Tala screaming in the night.
Boris dragging Tala away kicking and yelling.
Tala walking funny.
Tala crying…
"What the hell did you do to him?" Bryan looked up slowly to find Rei in the doorway again. Rei collapsed beside Tala- who was still rocking- and hugged him. Rei's affection for Tala took Bryan by surprise, and just made him feel even more lost.
"I didn't do anything…"
Rei was too absorbed in Tala to even notice Bryan's weak reply.
He really loves him. I can't believe Rei can show his affection towards him so easily.
Why can't I?
What's wrong with me?
"Why do you love Tala?" Rei looked up at Bryan and held Tala close to him. He opened his mouth, but said nothing.
He doesn't know either…
Rei got Tala to hug around his shoulders, and slowly stood, bringing Tala with him. Tala swayed like a leaf, so Rei held him firmly around his waist.
Tala sobbed into Rei's shoulder.
Is this what love is? Compassion, endearment, care, worry, concern, pity…
I don't think I'm a strong enough person to love like Rei does.
But that does not make my love meaningless.
It doesn't mean that I don't love Tala.
"Give Tala to me Rei." Bryan's voice trembled like the rest of his body. "You shouldn't be here." Tala gripped onto Rei's shirt and brought his head upwards.
At first their lips only touched. A simple, gentle meeting of mouths.
The tears fell softly down both of their faces and entered their kiss.
It was damp. Soft. The emotion of each boy taking control now.
Hands ran through hair.
Tongues slipped over wet lips.
Sharp intakes of breath and quiet moans.
"STOP IT!" Both boys moved slowly out of their embrace to look toward Bryan. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"We aren't doing anything to you." Said Rei
"You don't have to watch..." Tala said.
Bryan slipped away before they started again, and went upstairs to his room.
What should I call this feeling?
Pain?
Or is it that my heart is breaking?
Do I even have a heart to break anyway?
Bryan slowly lifted his window open and stood on the ledge, looking down at the road below.
There aren't any cars below me. There isn't even any people or tarmac.
There is only absolution.
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"Kai?" Max wasn't used to Kai talking, let alone pouring his heart out.
He patted Kai's head which rested into his shoulder.
"You really slept with Rei?"
"Yes"
"Then what's the problem?"
"I don't know how I feel about Tala…"
"Why should that affect anything? Unless you really do think that you could be in love with him…"
"He loves me…"
"Don't let that ruin everything you have with Rei!" Max pushed Kai up so he could look him in the eye. "But if you ask me, Tala would make you happier than Rei would."
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Kai left his arms around Max, and the warmth made Max blush.
"I..I…just don't know how not to be nice, I guess. Yeah, that's it! Ha!" Max tried to get out of Kai's embrace, but Kai held him fast.
"Don't leave me. They all left me, please stay here with me!" Kai sounded more and more like a child, which made Max panic.
"Hey, they haven't left you! Tala's just at his flat, and Rei went over to Lee's last night! Don't be so dramatic!"
"But will you stay with me?"
"I don't think you've been listening Kai!"
"I don't want to listen… I want to…" Kai moved forward, but Max stood up quickly.
"I know you're upset Kai, but please don't do that."
"I'm sorry Max. I'm just so alone…"
Max did want to comfort Kai- but not like that. He didn't want to become a name on an endless list; people who'd Kai had fucked to feel better.
"Please, just hold me…" Kai reached out for Max, and Max caved.
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People gave Tala and Rei funny looks as they walked down the street, not that either of them cared. Tala gripped onto Rei tighter, and enjoyed the piggy back like a child would do.
He remembered what Mariah had told him, but he didn't care.
Kai didn't like him like that, so why shouldn't he be with someone who did?
Why should he give a fuck about Lee?
Why did Kai have to keep popping into his head?
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Reading this on it's own, it seems like quite a weak chapter. But then I'm tried as it's 2.07.am. I hope you liked it, and please review!