Ah… SO sorry for the ridiculously long wait for this chapter. The usual crap kept me away. School, life, school, went to an anime convention two weeks ago, had a huge paper to write, school… Anyway, sadly no replies to the reviews today. I don't have time but I wanted to get the chapter up at least. You know I LOVE you all to death and your reviews mean a lot to me. Enjoy the chapter! Hope it was worth the wait!

"Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression

No expression

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow

No tomorrow

No tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you

I find it hard to take

When people run in circles its a very very

Mad world"

"Mad World" By: Gary Jules

Winter in Germany

doomsday

She made her way slowly up the long winding staircase of the mansion, pausing at the top to catch her breath. After the pause she straightened and continued down the halls. She stopped outside a certain wooden door and hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea to bother Winry at a time like this. However she had an armload of clothes and this maid wasn't about to just leave them outside the door. The cat liked to sleep on fresh laundry and that made more work for her. She carefully shifted the clothes to one hand and used her other hand to rap loudly on the oak door.

"Miss Diamond? I... I have some clean clothes to put away," She called gently, moving close to the door to be able to hear.

"Go away..."

She frowned as she heard the choked voice. When it had faded there was soft sobs and sniffles. This had been going on since yesterday and she was understandably worried.

"Miss Diamond, please..."

"I said go away!"

There was a loud thud against the door, startling the maid and causing her to jump back. She blinked rapidly then narrowed her eyes at the door. Huffing angrily, she turned and hurried away. The clothes would he thrown somewhere until that rude girl would let her in.

Winry's room was fancy, but plain. It was strictly set a certain way by her mother and stepfather (who had been missing for quite sometime) so that it matched the house. In all honesty it was not her style at all and she hated this room very much. But it was still her room and she sought comfort in it, yesterday's events all too fresh in her mind. Winry was curled underneath her bed's soft sheets, knees to her chest and face buried into her hands. She had been crying so much and for so long she was sure she didn't have any more tears left to shed. But she always surprised herself when they fell from her emerald eyes and cascaded down her pale cheeks when that painful memory resurfaced. She had tried to stop them so many times, but each attempt failed as she remembered what had happened.

Oh God it hurt so much... Why did it have to hurt this much? How she wished someone would just come and kill her now. She couldn't take this pain. It was as if someone had ripped her heart from her chest. Her hands fell away from her face and clutched her only remaining pillow, the other haven been thrown at the door. She buried her face into this pillow, letting out a large sob as more tears came. He had... He had just stood there, silent. He hadn't replied to her plea. He had only offered her a stare of such sorrow it had burned her soul and left a black mark forever. So the whole thing had been a lie. He had put up with her only because she had the same face of his real girlfriend, the real love of his life. She had just been a replacement, second best, worthless. All this time she had been nothing more to him than something to tide him over until he got what he really wanted. She felt more tears.

I hate you Edward Elric! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I HATE YOU! I want you to die! I don't ever want to see you again or hear your name spoken again! I HATE you! I hate you, I... Oh God... I'm still in love with you.

And this new revelation in itself was enough to drive her mad. This was a large part of why she was upset. At the current moment she hated Ed so much it was unbearable. But even so... even though she knew he had only returned her affection because of her similarity to this other girl and even though that truth hurt worse than any physical wound she could ever receive... she was still in love with him. Her heart still yearned to feel his touch and to kiss him once again. It was confusing. She both loved and hated him at the same time. It didn't make sense and she just wanted this all to go away.

Suddenly the door opened and her crying instantly ceased. She stiffened and her hands tightened on her pillow, ready to throw it at the intruder.

"Winry?"

She sat up fast and scrambled out from underneath the covers, peering blood shot eyes out at the woman who sat on the edge of her bed, looking at her sadly.

"M-Mom?" She stammered. "I... I said I didn't want to be bothered and--"

"I know, dear. But that was yesterday... You can't stay up here and cry about a broken heart forever."

Winry looked mortified. "H-How did you--?"

Her mother laughed warmly. "I'm your mother, Winry. I know these things. Please... come downstairs."

Winry looked away stubbornly, hands tightening on the bed sheets. Her mother frowned and reached over, placing a gentle hand over hers.

"I have something you can do to keep your mind off it."

This wasn't what I had in mind, Winry grumbled as she walked slowly down the sidewalk, heavy bag hanging off her arm.

She huffed, creating a cloud of white, and rearranged the bag. Yes, her mother's idea to get her mind off her shattered heart had been to do a few errands. Hell, they had about fifty servants. Why did she have to do this? Plus this wasn't helping in the least. She was passing stores that she, Ed and Al had gone into just two days before. If anything, this whole trip was making her feel worse up to the point where she just wanted to throw herself into the road and end the pain. Winry was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she wasn't really watching where she was going and abruptly collided with someone. She stumbled and suddenly slipped backwards. However the one she had ran into caught her as her bag dropped to the snowy sidewalk with a soft crunch.

"O-Oh!" Winry yelped, startled as she tried to gain her footing. "I-I'm so sorry, I..."

She trailed off when she noticed the person she had ran into to. Of course it had to be Ed. She stared at him in shock for a moment as he stared back at her with equal surprise. Then she hurriedly jerked herself out of his arms and fixed him with a gaze colder than the air around them. Ed visibly flinched from it and avoided her eyes. After her bag was collected from the ground Winry spun on her heel and stormed away, snapping Ed back to reality.

"H-Hey! Wait!" He called and ran after her, forced to jog to keep up with her brisk walk.

"Go away," Winry snapped, voice cold.

"Listen to me, Winry! Please, you never gave me a chance to explain!"

"Explain!"

Winry halted and Ed stopped a few paces ahead, turning quickly and blocking her path. Her gaze stung. In her eyes was such a conflict of emotion that Ed caught himself staring into them, trying to read them and decipher what exactly was hidden within those emerald depths.

"Y-Yes," Ed stammered, blinking rapidly to snap himself from his daze. "I can explain, really..."

"I don't want to hear it!" Winry growled, hands tightening into tight fists. "I don't want to know!"

"But--"

"NO! Get out of my way!"

Ed narrowed his eyes. "No."

Winry looked startled before her face quickly fell into anger once again. Without warning she swung the bag in her hand at him. Instinctively Ed blocked it with his false arm and the bag fell harmlessly to ground, it's contents spilling out across the sidewalk. Winry screamed in frustration and switched tactics. She lunged at him, pushing hard on his chest with flat palms in an attempt to shove him over. Unfortunately Ed was much stronger than her and easily managed to stay in place.

"Move!" She screeched.

"I won't until you let me explain," Ed replied calmly, gripping her upper arms with gloved hands to further hinder her effort.

"I told you I don't want to hear it, dammit!" Winry cried, beating on his chest now with a fist, eyes squeezed shut. "Just say it! Tell me you hate me!"

Ed blinked down at her. "What? But I don't ha--"

"Just tell me do! Say you do!" Winry begged, suddenly sobbing. "Tell me you hate me! Please... just tell me..."

Her blows got weaker before they abruptly stopped. Then her arms wrapped around him, much to his surprise, and she buried her face into his chest, sobbing. Ed stared blankly down at her, unable to make a clear connection in his mind about what was happening. Instead he just hesitantly encircled his arms around her, grip firm. But it wasn't the way Winry longed for him to hold her and her hands tightened on his shirt.

"...I hate you, Ed..." Winry sobbed softly. "I hate you so much... for making me feel this way..."

"Winry..."

"I love you, Edward."

Ed stiffened instantly at those words, those forbidden words. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had known that. He had seen it early in their relationship, but he had ignored it. He thought that if he pushed her away enough, she wouldn't feel that way about him. But apparently he hadn't been able to do that and most likely, in some way, ended up encouraging her feelings without even realizing it.

"Winry, you can't," Ed muttered to her softly. "You can't."

"But I do. Even knowing what I do, I can't help but still love you. Even though I know I can only be second best... even though I know I'm nothing to you, I still..."

Silence settled over them as Winry's voice faded into soft sobs that were muffled by Ed's shirt, which she had a death grip on. Ed merely held her and allowed her to cry, not sure what else he could do. He noticed how silent it really was with the snow falling from the overcast sky and the lack of cars on the road beside them. But this was seriously killing him. He knew he was doing this only out of guilt while Winry's actions were out of love. Ed almost winced. He felt like such a terrible person. He suddenly pulled her away from him, but she kept her firm grip on his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Winry."

Winry flinched as he detached her hands gently from his shirt. He looked down at her with a truly sorry face, but she never saw it. She kept her face hidden from him with her head bowed, hands now tightened at her sides. Ed took a few steps back, eyes still on her.

"I'm sorry."

He paused there for a moment, watching her and waiting for some kind of reaction. When there was nothing, he turned away and continued on his way, eventually disappearing into the fuzzy white haze of the falling snow.

It was well past midnight and the snow had continued to fall, although lightly. Roads were quickly clogged and sidewalks weren't being shoveled fast enough. Ed had disappeared, much to Al's concern.

"He's fine," Hohenheim said when Al voiced this concern, sipping some steaming coffee carefully.

"But... I haven't seen him all day and now its twelve-thirty at night!" Al cried, baffled at how unconcerned this man was for his own son. "I'm going to go find him."

"He's at the hanger," Hohenheim sighed, turning in his chair to peer at the blonde haired boy in front of him. "Don't go bothering him, you'll only get a face full of snow. Trust me."

Al ended up going anyway. He found Ed at the hanger as Hohenheim had said and while he didn't get a snowball to the face, he did get a rather cold shoulder. They both got into a horrible argument that sent Al storming back home after spitting out hateful words.

Thus Ed concluded nothing else could possibly go wrong. He had broken Winry's heart and now Al was fed up with his moody personality, which he didn't blame him for. He sat miserably at his desk in complete darkness, face buried in his folded arms upon the wooden surface. Nothing could go wrong, he was positive. Or so he thought until he heard noise outside the hanger. Grumbling, he fumbled for the lantern he had and lit it with cold, clumsy fingers. He blinked half asleep eyes at the doors and listened. More noise came from the wall in front of him. It sounded like someone was outside, snooping around the hanger. Pushing the dark thoughts aside, Ed stood quickly and took the lantern. This wasn't new. Other people had often snuck around the hanger to maybe steal his and Al's work.

"I'm not in the mood for this," Ed growled to no one, stalking toward the door quickly, but carefully. If it's an idiot trying to steal our work I'm going to beat them to a bloody pulp to work out my frustration...

He shoved open the doors and stepped outside, sinking into knee deep snow. He cursed at it as if it was the source of all his problems and kicked some of the white powder away to make a hole of some sort to stand in. He glanced around, holding up the light with tight gloved fingers. But the flame inside was weak, making it impossible to see around the corner.

"Who ever is out there better am-scray!" Ed shouted, trying to sound as threatening as possible.

Naturally there was no reply and Ed glared hatefully in some random direction. He turned and hurried back inside, shutting the doors behind him. However there was suddenly a problem. He was not alone as he backed into someone. He turned quickly, but he never got to see the person's face as they abruptly pinned him to the wall, twisting his flesh arm behind his back. The lantern fell to the cement floor with an earsplitting crash that made Ed wince.

"You didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you?"

Ed's eyes widen at the familiar voice. "Envy!"

"Congratulations, you're correct," Envy sneered, pressing Ed further against the wall. "Sorry you broke up with your little girlfriend, shortie. And your fight with Al sounded dreadful as well. A pity, really. You screwed up your life by yourself this time."

"Shut the fucking hell up!" Ed cried, squirming in an attempt to free himself.

But Envy was a Homunculus. They were inhumanly strong and he merely laughed at Ed's efforts.

"But there's still one more thing left to do."

Something heavy and metallic collided with the back of Ed's head and there was darkness.

Against the midnight sky and the pure white snow, the fire was easy to spot from a distance. Unfortunately by the time the fire department arrived, the hanger and all its contents had been completely demolished by the roaring flames. Naturally Al and Hohenheim were on the scene and Winry appeared not too long after. The first thing on all three of their minds was Ed and the police chief told them if he was inside, he was dead. But he hadn't been inside. He was found a few hours later, after the fire had been mostly put out. He was several feet away from the burning building, a crumpled half frozen heap lying in a patch of red snow.