Reflection.
T: This piece has been niggling at me since I finished reading volume 18 of X and so as I can't update Afterlife without my beta (Who is very very busy at the moment!) I've decided to post this to prove I'm still alive!
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He had watched the battle without thought or emotion; this was his role now, after all…
To watch…to exist…so that the final remnant of the one he had loved might not fade.
A remnant that he had believed was bestowed for love and yet the analysis of the Kamui of the Dragons of Earth had been so much more believable…
Had been truer to the man that his heart had loved.
The nature of that love had changed often, the more apparent changes coming in almost perfect conjunction to changes in his own façade.
At the very beginning that love had been as naive as the face he had seen constantly in the mirror…had been some empty thing pulled into life by the unique care of his sister…
Almost the instant he had realised that his love was not pure, that he loved against society, his life and his concept of self had been twisted to meet the sadistic yearnings of the sakura and the one who served it.
He had become blank…nothing more than an empty vessel which contained nothing but the scarred remains of what once might have been a heart.
Again his sister had brought him life…unlike the last time; however, there was penance to pay for this miracle…
Penance that his sister had paid with her very blood.
For revenge he had blanked away his love, had forced himself to believe that he hated that man.
The childishness had faded from his face and he became as a mimicry of the one he hunted, a dark twin forged through the bitterness he felt in place of his love.
The last words of a dying man had sown the seeds that would lead to this, his final change, not because of what the words had actually been but because of the doubt he had in their validity.
If they had been true then why had the other allowed them to come to this point? Why had he not seen beyond the lies to the truth of his heart?
Why had he enacted his sister's final spell…a spell that she had hoped to never be used?
He had gone in search of an answer to those questions and had found that man's final gift to him…
In taking that gift, in becoming that man completely his heart had again changed.
For now his love was dead and thus too was the man who had felt that emotion.
He was nothing more now than Sakurazukamori.
If he were to look in the mirror now he would see a face identical to that of his younger self, but for one difference…
For the spark of love that had once lit those emerald eyes had been snuffed out…never now to be re-lit within this lifetime.
He had want to die, to end at last the farce that his life had become and yet the final gift of that man prevented such a thing.
He would exist as was that man's true desire, would observe as the lives of those he had called 'friends' were taken away, one by one.
He would endure to watch the Final Battle, would endure to face whatever the consequences of that day were.
He would exist…
But never again would he live.
For already his life is over…
Already he is dead.
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T: There we go, a little explorative piece into the mystery that is Sakurazukamori Subaru. R+R, because it'll bring a little happiness into my life!