Chapter 4: Not At The Burrow Yet

Harry knew he had to leave the Dursley's, because it was already chapter four, but he didn't know what to do about the trophy. It was probably a bad idea to just leave it here unwatched, but if he took it with him, it could be dangerous. Harry pondered this. His mind remained blank, as usual. After a while, he suddenly realized what he should do.

"Of course! When in doubt, go to The Burrow!" Harry knew that even if the Weasleys couldn't help him with his trophy problem, their antics would at least distract the reader so they wouldn't realize that the author has no idea what is going to happen next, and is making up everything as she goes along.

Of course, Harry didn't have any floo powder, the ability to apparate, or any of the other things wizards generally need when they travel. He could have flown on his broom, but that would have taken a few paragraphs, and he wanted to speed the story along. He decided to try a more direct method.

"Accio me... to the Burrow!" He said hesitantly. Well, it had worked in the last chapter. This time, however, nothing happened. He tried again.

"Accio all the distance between me and the Burrow, and drop me off somewhere nearby." Again, nothing. He began to get annoyed, then desperate, then finally angry.

"Er... Reverse-Accio me... to the Burrow? No? Then maybe... Accio a convenient space-time hole that I can walk through to the Burrow? Accio another dimension in which I am already standing in front of the Burrow? Hmm... well then, accio, er... ACCIO THE BURROW!"

He paused for a few seconds, feeling a bit stupid, when there was a sudden large "CRUNCH" as the Burrow flew through the air, landed on the Dursley's house, and crushed all its occupants. Except Harry, who had been saved when he fell through a plothole that conveniently led to the front yard outside what was now the Burrow. He walked slowly up to the door and opened it.

"Harry? You're not supposed to come here till chapter five! " Said a surprised Ron, his arms full of socks of various colors and sizes. "Didn't you read the chapter title?" he added.

"I didn't come here, YOU did. " said Harry, "Er... is this a bad time?"

"Well," said Ron, moving his pile of socks aside so that Harry could step into the house, "not really, but we're not through setting up yet."

"Setting what up?"

"Oh, all the conspiracies that have to take place during the book, hidden clues and that sort of thing. You know."

"Er... no." Harry admitted, as they started up the flight of stairs to the kitchen.

"It's very simple, really," said Ron. "We organize all the little hints and things and put them all around the book where the fans will spot them. Then they spend all their time discussing the things instead of figuring out how you're going to defeat Voldemort. Works very nicely."

"I... don't quite follow." Harry said confusedly.

Ron sighed and put his stack of socks down onto a table in front of his brother George, who was already sorting through a sizeable pile. "Well, for example, George is in charge of the sock conspiracy." George grinned up at Harry. Ron pointed to Fred, on the other side of the room. "Fred here does all the number twelves in the book..." Fred glanced up from painting a snake onto a sign that said "Number Twelve Grimmauld Place" and waved to Harry. "Then there's Ginny, she does the color purple and- Don't!" Ron stopped Harry as he was about to poke his head into a room in which splatters of purple paint could be seen flying in all directions. "I told you, we're not done yet."

They continued down the hallway. "Percy takes care of the 'Not-So-Obvious-Clues-To-Throw-the-Fans-Off,' Charlie does the "Really-Well-Hidden-Clues-That-Don't-Actually-Mean-Anything" and Bill there is nearly done with the "Clues-So-Obvious-They'll-Never-Suspect-They're-The-Key-To-Book-Seven."

Harry nodded, dumbfounded.

"Then there's Mum, she cooks and does the dishes and such, and Dad's in charge of all the shiny muggle objects that happen to speak ancient animal languages," Ron finished.

NOTE TO READERS: This is all I have written so far, and unless I get some reviews it'll probably be a few months untill I feel random enough to write another chapter.