Chapter 9: Revelations
Main POV
Accalia entered Remus's room slightly apprehensively as she took off her cloak and placed on a couch in the corner of the room.
"I..." began Accalia and Remus together.
"Sorry...You first," smiled Remus.
Accalia looked at Remus and decided that she had to say something,
"I really don't know why I came here but I know one thing, I can't do this any more..."
"What?" asked Remus confused.
"Pretend...that we're just friends," sighed Accalia.
There was a pregnant pause as Remus stared at Accalia incredulously.
"Remus, I can't deny it anymore..." began Accalia finding hard to look Remus straight in the eye, her eyes darting around the room, "I have, uh, feelings for you – much more than friends.
Her eyes suddenly locked with his, once again.
"Say something, please..." Accalia whispered not breaking eye contact.
"I know we are more than friends," exhaled Remus running his hand through his hair, "But I can't... I can't let us be anymore than that."
"W...why?" stuttered Accalia as she watched Remus set down on his bed.
"Because of me."
"I don't understand."
"That's the point!" Remus rose from the bed and moved over to the window, leaning his forehead onto the windowsill, "No one understands! What it's like to be me... for me to live in this bloody... body."
"I want to understand..."
"You want to understand? Nobody can. People have said they did. James, Sirius said they did but they had no idea...No idea," murmured Remus resting his head on the cold window.
"Remus..." whispered Accalia moving up behind him.
"I don't want you to feel sorry for me," said Remus turning round to face Accalia.
"I don't..."
"I think you should go," muttered Remus gently pushing past Accalia to open the door.
"Remus..." murmured Accalia in protest.
"Go!" cried Remus as he grabbed her right arm. Accalia suddenly cried out in pain.
"What's the matter?" asked Remus releasing Accalia's arm.
"It's nothing," lied Accalia clutching her arm.
"It can't be nothing," said Remus as blood seeped through the sleeve of Accalia's dress.
"Let me see," said Remus gently shutting the door and moved towards Accalia.
Accalia let Remus gently pull up her right sleeve to reveal several cuts that covered her arm.
"Merlin..." murmured Remus looking at her arm, "Accalia? How...Why? Have you done this to yourself?"
"Well, um...No but..." mumbled Accalia.
"Let me see your other arm," said Remus forcefully.
"What? No!" protested Accalia pulling herself from Remus's grasp rushing over to the open door.
Remus was too fast and slammed the door shut, standing protectively in front of it.
Accalia walked up close to him and looked up at him.
"Let me pass," snapped Accalia through gritted teeth.
"Not before you tell me how you did that and let me see your other arm," said Remus standing his ground.
"No!" snapped Accalia.
"Right, then," began Remus taking hold of her left arm, "I'll just have to look for myself!"
"Ow, Remus you're hurting me," complained Accalia.
Remus began tugging up her left sleeve to reveal yet more cuts just beginning to heal. Accalia closed her eye knowing what he was about to see,
"Accalia, how did you do this? Why would..."
Remus stopped dead and Accalia cautiously opened her eyes. Remus was staring at her bite scar, his eyes wide. He then looked back up at Accalia in disbelief.
"You see... I do understand, a lot more than you ever thought," said Accalia softly.
Remus traced his fingers over Accalia's scar sending shivers down her spine as she watched him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" enquired Remus in a low voice staring into Accalia's eyes, his hand still on her arm.
"I'd just met you. I hadn't even told Severus..."
"When... How?"
Accalia pulled herself from Remus's grasp tugging her sleeve down. She took Remus's hand and led him to the couch in the corner. They both sat down and Remus gazed at Accalia intensely.
Accalia inhaled deeply and began the story of her trip to the Human Elves of the West, throughout her story Remus held her hand tightly.
"And that's what happened..." finished Accalia.
"Merlin..." whispered Remus, "Wait...Is that why you were dancing with Malfoy? He found out?"
"Yes... He's going to blackmail me for as long as it is a secret but I don't know if I'm ready to tell everybody..." said Accalia standing up.
"You can't let him do this to you..."
"I know! But what can I do?"
"I... I don't know."
"Remus?" began Accalia sitting back down, "Can I tell you something?"
"Yes, of course..."
"There's something else that happened and I haven't told anyone before. I have to tell someone because it's been eating me up for eight years and I want to tell you."
"Only if you are sure."
"Extremely sure."
Remus looked at her expectantly. Accalia glanced down at her lap and then back up at Remus.
"Okay, well, I went on the trip with a friend, a boyfriend in fact, his name was Tristan Davies. Anyway when I was attacked, I know this sounds stupid now, but we didn't know that it was a werewolf that attacked me and when I arrived back in Diagon Alley I lived my life as normal until..."
Accalia felt the tear well up in her eyes. Remus saw this and clasped her hand tightly in his.
"Go on," whispered Remus reassuringly.
"Until the next full moon, I transformed and it might have been alright if Tristan hadn't decided to come round and surprise me..."
Accalia sighed once again and stared up at the ceiling. Moving her head back down to face Remus and closing her eyes she told Remus the one thing that had been destroying her for eight years.
"...Then I might not have killed him."
Remus stared at Accalia in astonishment and as she opened her eyes Remus saw a single tear fall down her cheek. Accalia was amazed, as Remus's hand did not move from hers.
"Is...is that what you meant? When you said you didn't want to hurt me?" asked Remus shakily.
Accalia nodded looking down into her lap. Remus placed his large hand under Accalia's delicate chin and pulled her face up to look at him.
"It wasn't your fault," said Remus intensely as Accalia rolled her eyes, "It wasn't!"
Remus almost shouted it at Accalia. She looked at him in surprise. Accalia had never heard Remus raise his voice so...heatedly.
"Do you really think so?" whispered Accalia.
Remus placed both his hands on Accalia's arms making her look directly at him.
"Of course! You didn't know it was going to happen. I know what it's like, not being able to control it. You can't blame yourself, you can't..."
Remus was suddenly cut short as Accalia quickly leant forward and pressed her lips against his. Remus stiffened in surprise and Accalia sensing this, pulled away.
"Sorry," mumbled Accalia feeling just slightly embarrassed.
After the initial shock, Remus body got its feeling back.
"No..." he whispered, his hands still on Accalia's arms, "There's nothing to be sorry for..."
Remus knew he had to say it otherwise he never would and he knew he would regret not telling her.
"Accalia..." whispered Remus sliding his hand up to her neck, his thumb brushing across her cheek.
Accalia smiled nervously, her body trembling. Remus was staring at her so intensely, his normally soft amber eyes were full of fire and passion.
"Accalia Snape, I've been wanting to say this to you every day since I met you. I love you."
Accalia almost choked on her own breath, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she whispered,
"Really?"
"I've been in love with you ever since I met you. I know it might sound stupid, I mean we've only known each other a month but...
Once again Accalia silenced Remus, this time by her slender finger covering his dry lips.
"Remus..." whispered Accalia softly, smiling at Remus. Remus watched Accalia curiously as she slowly covered his hand with hers, pulling his rough hand to her lips and kissed his palm, "I love you too."
"Really?" choked Remus mirroring Accalia's earlier words.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," said Accalia smiling.
I have updated at bloody last! I'm still revising for my GCSE's but I am already on the next chapter so hopefully that will be up soon! About the next chapter... it will have 'it' (I'm not a prude cos I say 'IT'!) in it but I do think it is important to the story and it definitely won't be horribly graphic, in fact I reckon it will quite beautiful... Okay what am I on? Getting all mushy! Anyway I hope I haven't lost any of my readers cos I haven't updated! Any ideas and suggestions are completely welcome and get ready for the next update!
Thanks
Helen88UK
Main POV
Accalia entered Remus's room slightly apprehensively as she took off her cloak and placed on a couch in the corner of the room.
"I..." began Accalia and Remus together.
"Sorry...You first," smiled Remus.
Accalia looked at Remus and decided that she had to say something,
"I really don't know why I came here but I know one thing, I can't do this any more..."
"What?" asked Remus confused.
"Pretend...that we're just friends," sighed Accalia.
There was a pregnant pause as Remus stared at Accalia incredulously.
"Remus, I can't deny it anymore..." began Accalia finding hard to look Remus straight in the eye, her eyes darting around the room, "I have, uh, feelings for you – much more than friends.
Her eyes suddenly locked with his, once again.
"Say something, please..." Accalia whispered not breaking eye contact.
"I know we are more than friends," exhaled Remus running his hand through his hair, "But I can't... I can't let us be anymore than that."
"W...why?" stuttered Accalia as she watched Remus set down on his bed.
"Because of me."
"I don't understand."
"That's the point!" Remus rose from the bed and moved over to the window, leaning his forehead onto the windowsill, "No one understands! What it's like to be me... for me to live in this bloody... body."
"I want to understand..."
"You want to understand? Nobody can. People have said they did. James, Sirius said they did but they had no idea...No idea," murmured Remus resting his head on the cold window.
"Remus..." whispered Accalia moving up behind him.
"I don't want you to feel sorry for me," said Remus turning round to face Accalia.
"I don't..."
"I think you should go," muttered Remus gently pushing past Accalia to open the door.
"Remus..." murmured Accalia in protest.
"Go!" cried Remus as he grabbed her right arm. Accalia suddenly cried out in pain.
"What's the matter?" asked Remus releasing Accalia's arm.
"It's nothing," lied Accalia clutching her arm.
"It can't be nothing," said Remus as blood seeped through the sleeve of Accalia's dress.
"Let me see," said Remus gently shutting the door and moved towards Accalia.
Accalia let Remus gently pull up her right sleeve to reveal several cuts that covered her arm.
"Merlin..." murmured Remus looking at her arm, "Accalia? How...Why? Have you done this to yourself?"
"Well, um...No but..." mumbled Accalia.
"Let me see your other arm," said Remus forcefully.
"What? No!" protested Accalia pulling herself from Remus's grasp rushing over to the open door.
Remus was too fast and slammed the door shut, standing protectively in front of it.
Accalia walked up close to him and looked up at him.
"Let me pass," snapped Accalia through gritted teeth.
"Not before you tell me how you did that and let me see your other arm," said Remus standing his ground.
"No!" snapped Accalia.
"Right, then," began Remus taking hold of her left arm, "I'll just have to look for myself!"
"Ow, Remus you're hurting me," complained Accalia.
Remus began tugging up her left sleeve to reveal yet more cuts just beginning to heal. Accalia closed her eye knowing what he was about to see,
"Accalia, how did you do this? Why would..."
Remus stopped dead and Accalia cautiously opened her eyes. Remus was staring at her bite scar, his eyes wide. He then looked back up at Accalia in disbelief.
"You see... I do understand, a lot more than you ever thought," said Accalia softly.
Remus traced his fingers over Accalia's scar sending shivers down her spine as she watched him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" enquired Remus in a low voice staring into Accalia's eyes, his hand still on her arm.
"I'd just met you. I hadn't even told Severus..."
"When... How?"
Accalia pulled herself from Remus's grasp tugging her sleeve down. She took Remus's hand and led him to the couch in the corner. They both sat down and Remus gazed at Accalia intensely.
Accalia inhaled deeply and began the story of her trip to the Human Elves of the West, throughout her story Remus held her hand tightly.
"And that's what happened..." finished Accalia.
"Merlin..." whispered Remus, "Wait...Is that why you were dancing with Malfoy? He found out?"
"Yes... He's going to blackmail me for as long as it is a secret but I don't know if I'm ready to tell everybody..." said Accalia standing up.
"You can't let him do this to you..."
"I know! But what can I do?"
"I... I don't know."
"Remus?" began Accalia sitting back down, "Can I tell you something?"
"Yes, of course..."
"There's something else that happened and I haven't told anyone before. I have to tell someone because it's been eating me up for eight years and I want to tell you."
"Only if you are sure."
"Extremely sure."
Remus looked at her expectantly. Accalia glanced down at her lap and then back up at Remus.
"Okay, well, I went on the trip with a friend, a boyfriend in fact, his name was Tristan Davies. Anyway when I was attacked, I know this sounds stupid now, but we didn't know that it was a werewolf that attacked me and when I arrived back in Diagon Alley I lived my life as normal until..."
Accalia felt the tear well up in her eyes. Remus saw this and clasped her hand tightly in his.
"Go on," whispered Remus reassuringly.
"Until the next full moon, I transformed and it might have been alright if Tristan hadn't decided to come round and surprise me..."
Accalia sighed once again and stared up at the ceiling. Moving her head back down to face Remus and closing her eyes she told Remus the one thing that had been destroying her for eight years.
"...Then I might not have killed him."
Remus stared at Accalia in astonishment and as she opened her eyes Remus saw a single tear fall down her cheek. Accalia was amazed, as Remus's hand did not move from hers.
"Is...is that what you meant? When you said you didn't want to hurt me?" asked Remus shakily.
Accalia nodded looking down into her lap. Remus placed his large hand under Accalia's delicate chin and pulled her face up to look at him.
"It wasn't your fault," said Remus intensely as Accalia rolled her eyes, "It wasn't!"
Remus almost shouted it at Accalia. She looked at him in surprise. Accalia had never heard Remus raise his voice so...heatedly.
"Do you really think so?" whispered Accalia.
Remus placed both his hands on Accalia's arms making her look directly at him.
"Of course! You didn't know it was going to happen. I know what it's like, not being able to control it. You can't blame yourself, you can't..."
Remus was suddenly cut short as Accalia quickly leant forward and pressed her lips against his. Remus stiffened in surprise and Accalia sensing this, pulled away.
"Sorry," mumbled Accalia feeling just slightly embarrassed.
After the initial shock, Remus body got its feeling back.
"No..." he whispered, his hands still on Accalia's arms, "There's nothing to be sorry for..."
Remus knew he had to say it otherwise he never would and he knew he would regret not telling her.
"Accalia..." whispered Remus sliding his hand up to her neck, his thumb brushing across her cheek.
Accalia smiled nervously, her body trembling. Remus was staring at her so intensely, his normally soft amber eyes were full of fire and passion.
"Accalia Snape, I've been wanting to say this to you every day since I met you. I love you."
Accalia almost choked on her own breath, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she whispered,
"Really?"
"I've been in love with you ever since I met you. I know it might sound stupid, I mean we've only known each other a month but...
Once again Accalia silenced Remus, this time by her slender finger covering his dry lips.
"Remus..." whispered Accalia softly, smiling at Remus. Remus watched Accalia curiously as she slowly covered his hand with hers, pulling his rough hand to her lips and kissed his palm, "I love you too."
"Really?" choked Remus mirroring Accalia's earlier words.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," said Accalia smiling.
I have updated at bloody last! I'm still revising for my GCSE's but I am already on the next chapter so hopefully that will be up soon! About the next chapter... it will have 'it' (I'm not a prude cos I say 'IT'!) in it but I do think it is important to the story and it definitely won't be horribly graphic, in fact I reckon it will quite beautiful... Okay what am I on? Getting all mushy! Anyway I hope I haven't lost any of my readers cos I haven't updated! Any ideas and suggestions are completely welcome and get ready for the next update!
Thanks
Helen88UK