"Okay first of all, I played both games and enjoyed them greatly, so I'm not just making fun of it. Second, I don't own any of this. Anyhow welcome to my Soul Caliber, Pulp Fiction, and Film Noir fan fiction."
Chapter 1: A date with destiny
"Then rain poured down outside dampening my already sour mood. Mondays are always the epitome of the word dreary here in the office. If I haven't introduced myself, my name's Kilik and I'm a cop, well more of a P.I. really. Been on the job for two years now, ever since I graduated the force. Well anyways, the day started out like any other, a moody black and white Monday that makes you wish you were anywhere but here. Reaching my office however, I found that the door was already unlocked. Reaching for my Walther PPK, I checked and made sure the safety was off before nudging the door open. That's when I saw her, sitting on my desk one leg crossed over the other, brown hair cropped close to an Asian face. Those beautiful green eyes already brimming with tears she looked for all the world like the job that all future jobs would be compared with.
"Good evening." I said quietly as I removed my fedora and trench coat, placing them on the coat rack next to the door. "What can I do for you?"
"Please" She stated serenely as she slid off my desk, "I need you to help my children"
Damn, a trophy holder, why can't a beautiful single woman without kids ask me for a job, oh well, beggars cant be choosers. My day quickly darkening again I asked her.
"So what's a pretty dame like you doing with kids?"
"No, you don't understand, I run an elementary school for the local community." My day jumped back into the sunshine as I watched her shake her head.
"Why don't you tell me what happened?" I asked her, offering her a seat. She took it with a nodded thanks and a smile. This might turn out better than I thought, I said to myself taking a seat across my desk from her.
She nodded and began "Well my name is Xianghua (Damn, forgot to ask her name) and up until yesterday I happily ran a small elementary school." I calmly waited for her to finish "Well, a couple of days ago, a strange man began appearing around the schoolyards, I usually don't panic because we get these kind of sickos a lot, but this one was different. Although he was blind, he didn't carry any kind of cane. Worse yet he wore a long tan coat and when the wind caught it one day I saw a weird leather strap outfit."
I ran a list of local pedophiles in my mind and only one person came to mind. That sick bastard Voldo, usually a minor crook, you know photographing and flashing stuff, but the way she's distraught he looks to have moved up in the world. I let her compose herself for a few minutes and gave her a handkerchief (Hell yeah, score sensitivity points for K-man)
"Well one day after school, I escorted the kids onto the bus keeping an eye out for that guy, and made sure everything was all right. I didn't see him anywhere, and I would have noticed if he was hiding on the bus, but even so, the bus never made it home that day." At this, she broke into wracking sobs and I put my arm around her (hee, hee) for comfort.
"Listen girl, I know this guy, and where he operates, so I'll go take him down (Eww, that didn't come out right) and get your kids back"
She looked up at me with those big green watery eyes, and I knew I wasn't going to let this one rest. I walked her to her car and saw her off with promises that I would check it out tonight. Getting back to my desk I immediately picked up the phone, if I was going in tonight I was going to need some muscle. The phone rang twice before it clicked and a low growl issued from the other end.
"Hey, Nightmare, you looking for some action" I hated working with Nightmare, but I could disregard his lack of bathing, lack of English, and lack of intelligence, in favor for his extreme use of violence at the moment.
The series of grunts and single syllabic words told me he was ready for anything, all I had to do was pick him up. I cautioned him to come armed, and told him to try and look presentable. I dropped the phone onto the receiver and, grabbing my coat and hat, walked into the gray mist that was the outside world. My Buick Sedan hugged the streets as I traveled deeper and deeper into the heart of the city. Lucky for me Nightmare's apartment was on the way to the bar that Voldo frequented. Finally, I reached Nightmare's block and found him standing outside in the rain waiting for me.
"Well so much for presentable" I mentioned to no one in particular as I noticed what Nightmare was wearing. He stood, in all his glory, wearing a pair of black tuxedo pants that were ripped from the knees down, a neon green tie, and the lack of a shirt was frightening several kids two blocks down. His great demonic arm held a seemingly tiny briefcase, and his usually flowing blond hair was wrapped into a ponytail. The side of my beautiful car scrapped the ground as he climbed into the passenger's seat. Amid the creaks and groans of springs straining Nightmare somehow managed to stuff himself next to me. With his shoulders scraping my dome light he turned towards me for recognition.
"Nice tie" was all I could find to say. He gave me an enormous thumbs up with that mutated hand of his (skin condition my ass) and said "Presdint-able."
Mostly we road in silence having really no common ground on which to base a conversation. I winced every time I took a turn and heard my running boards rip themselves apart on the concrete. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity we reached the "Hero's Tomb Bar and Grill" a seedy little joint next to an old church in the middle of a dark hopeless slum. I parked around the side and noticed the blazingly pink moped that could only be Voldo's. I snatched one of the tassels off, placed it in my pocket, and watched Nightmare bend the roof and already stripped floor of my car as he climbed out. I swore that if I had the chance I would shoot him. Reminding myself I checked both guns I carried, the Walther in my inside coat pocket, and the tiny Derringer that I hid within my sock. Nightmare also checked his weapons; he carried a sawed off double barrel in one pocket and an enormous fist loader in the other. Lucky for him he was bulky enough to hide both of those in his pockets. I opened the door to the bar and was immediately greeted by cheap cigars and watered down beer.
"Well so much for chapter one, Stay tuned next time for "Interview with a pedophile"