Field of Innocence
By Lady of the Ink
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but you knew that . . .I hope. But I do own this plot and all the twists that it takes.
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Chapter Six
They walked as the sun rose to its highest place in the sky and they were still walking as it began its descent. Rin was used to long treks as she made them all the time while she gathered her herbs. Even so, the smoke that had gotten into her lungs and the trauma of losing a good chunk of her life took their toll. By the middle of the afternoon she was panting for breath and stumbling more then walking. She had to focus her eyes on the ground to keep her heavy feet from tripping over random rocks and sticks in her way.
Due to her fierce concentration on the path, Rin noticed almost too late that her "guide" had stopped walking. She only just managed to sidestep in time to avoid slamming into his back. The sudden stop coupled with her weariness caused her to sway for a moment. By time she regained her balance and caught sight of Sesshomaru once more, her had moved a small distance away and taken a seat on an upraised root. He seemed perfectly relaxed, as though he were planning to stay there for a while.
Never one to let an opportunity pass her by, Rin immediately seized the chance to see to her personal needs. Not far from where they had stopped, she could hear the sound of running water. Hunting down the source, she found a quick moving stream. It was small but more than sufficient for what she wanted it for. Dropping to her knees on the bank, she got her first look at herself in the reflective surface and winced.
Dark smears of ash covered her face from the top of her forehead to the bottom of her chin. The tears that she had shed had made tracks down her cheeks. The path they had taken the only clear areas of skin left. Her eyes were red and still swollen from the stinging smoke and all the crying. Her hair was a tangled, tousled mess, hanging sloppily over her shoulders and falling into her face. It was a wonder that Sesshomaru, ever immaculate in appearance, hadn't taken one look at her and walked away.
Filling her hands with the cool, clear water, she began splashing it onto her face. She scrubbed with her fingers until she felt that she had gotten off as much of the grime as she could. Next she did the same with her hands, bracing herself for the sting as she encountered the scattered burns. Her hair was the next problem that she tackled. She didn't have a comb or a bucket, so she did the best that she could with her hands. Leaning forward until the long, dark strands were submerged, she worked the dirt out with her fingertips. Straightening, she wrung as much of the water out as possible before tossing the sodden mass over her shoulder. Finger combing didn't offer much in the way of styling, but it did help keep her hair a bit more under control.
Knowing what she would have to do next, she took a deep breath in preparation. As ready she was ever likely to be, Rin turned to the bag that she had left slightly back from the bank. Pulling it to her, she slowly it opened it and began to take stock of all the belongings she had left in the world.
The first thing that she pulled out was a battered and worn rag doll. It had been her constant companion when she was little, the best friend that knew all of her secrets. It was one of the few personal items that she had carried with her through all her homes. She remembered clutching it tightly during her stay with Larissa and still sleeping with it the first few weeks on her own in her cottage. She had kept the doll much longer than most girls usually did, tucking it away only a few years prior. It had been an item of security and comfort, the last piece of her childhood.
Laying it gently aside with a final brush across its cheek, she reached for the next item. The handful of fabric turned out to be one of her oldest brother's shirts. She knew it was his because he had been particularly fond of the color blue, and so all shirts in that shade had gone to him. Beneath it were a few more articles of clothing belonging to other family members: a belt of her father's, several of her mother's skirts, and another brother's old trousers.
The last thing before the supplies that she had bought in town was a small box made out of beautiful dark wood. Upon seeing it, Rin gave an exclamation of pure joy. Of all the things that had been in the house, this was the one memento she would have hated to lose the most. It had been carved by her father in the same flower and vine pattern as the trunk that had rested at the foot of her bed. The design has always been her mother's favorite and so her father had included it on many of the pieces that had filled their small but cozy home. The box in her hands had been a present to her mother when Rin herself had been too young to remember. It had quickly turned into a sort of memory box, holding locks of hair from each of the kids and some of the trinkets from her parents' courtship.
She smoothed her hands over the blossoms that graced each corner of the lid. There was no belonging that made her feel as close to those she'd lost than it did. Just holding it bought her a strong sense of comfort; she hadn't even opened it since her mother's death.
Setting it aside, Rin smiled warmly to herself. It was with a lighter heart that she finished going through the bag. Sorting through the clothing that it had contained, she managed to piece together a workable outfit. Shedding the old one, she pulled the new one into place. She had to roll the sleeves of her brother's shirt up several times before they rested at her wrists instead of draping over her hands. Her mother's skirt was a better fit, although a little loose around her waist.
Her first urge was to wash out the clothes that she had been wearing but logic stopped her. She doubted that the stop would last long enough for all the things to dry and the musty smell that they'd get from being shut away wet would be even worse than the smoky smell they currently had. She settled for shaking them out, hoping the airing out would do them at least some good.
Her hair, now moderately dry, received a bit more attention before she gathered up her things and place them back into the bag. After looking around to make sure that she hadn't left anything behind, Rin started back to the spot where she had left Sesshomaru.
It was only as she ducked around a particularly thick patch of bushes that she wondered for the first time if her would still be there. After all, he owed her nothing and so her could leave her whenever he wanted to. Just because she read something into his actions didn't mean that there was actually something there. He had already done more for her than she could ever hope to repay by saving her life. Every other gesture that he offered just increased her debt to him. It would be wrong of her to expect anything more or be upset when it didn't come.
As ready as she was to accept his absence upon her return, Rin couldn't help the immense surge of relief that she felt when she returned to find him in the exact position she had left him in. It looked as though he hadn't moved a single inch while she was gone. The happiness that that thought brought transformed itself into a huge smile that she couldn't suppress. She quickened her step, practically skipping her way into the makeshift camp. Sesshomaru didn't spare her a single glance as she past him, his eyes remaining intent on the tree line.
When she reached the center of the clearing, she paused to see if he would make a move. She had no idea what kind of timeline that he might be operating on and so she wasn't sure how soon he would want to continue. They had gone at a very brisk pace throughout the morning, but that was just as likely to be because of his inhuman stamina as it was a need to be somewhere at a specific time. By the way he remained still under her questioning observation, she thought it was safe to assume it was for the former reason rather than the latter.
Finding a soft patch of ground, Rin sank to her knees and began rooting through her bag once more. Now that she knew she would have a little bit of time, she decided she should see to her grumbling stomach. In the supplies that she had bought in town the previous day were some simple food items. Combined with the more fancy gifts from Larissa, she knew she'd have enough to make several filling meals. If she could find some berries and the like on the trip to add in, it would last even longer.
She felt a little rude eating when Sesshomaru was sitting less than ten feet away, but she had learned her lesson from the last time. He had made it quite clear that he didn't eat the same kind of food as she did. Even do, she got through the bread and cheese more quickly than usual due to the unreasonable guilt she felt from not sharing.
After brushing the crumbs from her clothing, she found herself with nothing to do. Her eyes drifted around the area, absently identifying all the plants useful for making medicines. She wondered about picking them but decided against it. Even though she had the time and she would need to stockpile them sooner or later if she planned to support herself, she didn't have any way to carry them without damaging them. The fact that many of the kinds she was seeing needed special care right after being picked was also a factor. She had no idea how long it would be before she had a place that had all the things she would need to prepare the herbs.
Rin turned her gaze back to her unmoving companion. She had no way of knowing what he was thinking at any time; his emotionless façade seemed impenetrable. It hadn't bothered her before, back when he was just a temporary feature in her life. But now that she was depending on him for just about everything, the lack of incoming information was quick becoming less of an irritation and more of a severe handicap. She needed to start giving her future some serious thought, but she couldn't do that until she knew a bit more about Sesshomaru's intentions. How far was he planning on going and how long would her let her tag along? Did he have an idea of where she might find a permanent place to live or was the task fully her responsibility?
She huffed a little to herself. Even after the small amount of time that she had spent in his company, she knew that he wasn't the excessively talkative type. He would say only what he thought was necessary to be said and nothing else. Unfortunately for her, her situation hadn't been one of those topics to come up. He hadn't even said outright that he wanted her to come along with him, using subtle hints and actions instead. Her guess was that he was the type who needed to be asked something directly in order for there to be even the smallest chance of getting a straight answer.
And therein lay her problem. How was she supposed to ask him anything about anything? She didn't have something to write a note with and even if she did, she just couldn't imagine walking up to him and handing him one. He seemed more like someone who would have someone read their missives to them rather than lower himself to read them on his own.
She squinted slightly as she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. It wasn't hard to imagine him in such a position. His regal air seemed to scream that he had been born to be served. But at the same time, he seemed more than capable of taking care of himself. He was a mass of contradictions, really: independent, but used to having others see to the more trivial facets of his life, seemingly cold but capable of showing his own type of kindness, as he had with her. She could only wonder which side of him was truer.
Her mind switched back to her own problem, no closer to finding a solution. She had questions that she needed answered but no way to ask them. Short of sitting herself in front of him until he either starting talking or left her behind in disgust, Rin didn't know what else to do.
She sighed sadly, idly picking up a leaf from the ground and running it through her fingers. It was an uncomfortable sensation to deal with, feeling as though she had no control over her own life for the moment. She couldn't even console herself with the most basic idea for what she was going to do once this journey came to an end. It was like being trapped in limbo, an unsettling state she knew she wouldn't be able to handle for very long.
Dropping the leaf, she started to chew on her lower lip, a habit she had had since she was a little girl. Finally drawing in a deep breath, she rose to her feet and made her way across the clearing. Standing directly in front of Sesshomaru, she waited until he deigned to give her his full attention. When his golden eyes met her own determined brown ones, Rin opened her mouth and did what she had to do.