Field of Innocence
By Lady of the Ink
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but you knew that . . .I hope. But I do own this plot and all the twists that it takes.
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Chapter Thirteen
My dearest Rin,
If you're reading this than something has happened to me. I'm so sorry to have left you alone. I can only hope that you are safe and well and among people who will care for you in my absence. Please believe me when I say that it was my greatest wish to be able to destroy this letter before you ever had to know of its existence.
But I'm straying from my point. No matter what else happens, I want you to know the truth about what happened to your father and brothers. You deserve to know as much as their memories deserve for it to be known. Your father was a good man, the kindest and most honest man I've ever met. No matter what you may have heard or been told, there is just no way that he would ever get involved in anything as wrong as what they say he did. It would have been against everything he stood for, against his very nature.
Knowing him as well as I do, I knew from the very start that he hadn't had anything to do with those bandits or their attacks. I was sure that his streak of luck at not having been cornered by them had to have been just that- luck. It was only later that I realized that the truth was so much worse than just a chain of fortunate coincidences. He hadn't just been at the wrong place at the wrong time; he had been maneuvered there by someone for the purpose of taking the fall. He was coldly and deliberately set up.
When he died along with your brothers, the loss hit me hard. So hard that I knew that if I gave into it completely, I might never recover. A large part of my world had been ripped away from me in the most brutal way and I felt like I was falling into the darkest night I could imagine. It hurt so much to know that they were gone and never coming home again.
You were my salvation. Taking care of you helped to keep the darkness at bay during those first days when the pain was the strongest. Seeing your sweet little face made me realize that I had to be there for you, the one person I had left. Life was going to go on and I was going to go with it.
But I also realized something else. As young as you were at the time, you wouldn't have a lot of memories of the three of them. If I wanted you to be unaffected by the rumors, I would either have to be sure to tell you enough so that you would know what kind of man your father was or I could prove to everyone that he was innocent. In the end, I've decided to do both. My journal is yours now; read it with my blessing as you feel ready. Learn about where you came from and know always that you were created of and always cared for with love.
My darling daughter, I can only hope that you will understand why I have to do what I'm going to do. As much as the thought of leaving you alone and unprotected pains me, I cannot allow your father's memory to be tainted by these lies. I love him too much to have him remembered as something he was not.
Be safe and well, my Rin. Know that there is nothing good in this world that I don't wish for you. Let no one tell you what you can and cannot do or who to be. It's not about finding your place in the world; it's about making one. Surround yourself with people who will let you be free and ignore those who would keep you down.
I love you.
The final words of the letter blurred before her eyes. She blinked in an effort to clear them, but it didn't help. It was only when she head a soft plop and looked down to see a puddle smearing the ink that she realized she was crying. Instead of wiping the tears away, she hugged the letter to her chest and folded her body into the smallest ball possible. With no one but the quietly whispering wind to hear her, she sobbed.
When she finally lifted her head, it felt like a large amount of time had passed. The fire that had been crackling happily earlier had burned down to a subdued level. It was the perfect representation of how she felt. Now that the first burst of emotion had passed, she was left feeling drained and tired. Reading her mother's words and learning what she had wanted for her had hit her hard. She had felt so close to her mother in those moments that ending the letter had been almost like losing her all over again.
Rin pulled in a deep, shuddering breath as she tried to compose herself. She used the bottom edge of her skirt to wipe the last traces of tears from her face. Bracing herself as best as she could, she finally allowed her eyes to drift back to the paper in her hand. It was too dim now to make out the actual words but she felt as though they had been burned into her brain. If her mother had wished for her message to make an impact, she had succeeded.
Her fingers traced gently over the straight, neat sentences as she replayed them from her memory. Even while she had been taking in the emotion inspiring words of hope, she had noted a deeper meaning to the letter. The fact that it had been written at all proved that her mother had known there was some sort of danger surrounding her. The risk was so high that she felt the need to leave an explanation behind should the worst happen to her.
Rising to her feet with the slowness of an old woman or someone who had just been hit with a completely unexpected shock, she shuffled across the room to build up the fire. She knew there was little chance of her falling asleep anytime soon. Her mind was too overrun with questions and thoughts that piled up on each other, merging and whirling until she couldn't make any sense of them. If she tried to sleep, she knew she'd spend the night staring at the ceiling and waiting for morning to come.
Stooping by the fireplace, she pulled a twig from the edge of the flames and used it to light the candle that rested in the center of her small table. With a final stop by the bed to grab a blanket, she took a seat at the table. Her mother's memory box was in front of her, the letter and journal beside it. She opened the box slowly, unable to keep her fingers from gently tracing its carved surface as they had so many times before. Fighting off the intense wave of nostalgia that the action gave rise to, she began to sort through the contents.
The first items were exactly what she had expected, including the ones she had come across while looking for the journal. But buried at the bottom of the box were several things that she couldn't make any sense of at all. The first was a button, which was common enough by itself. What made it a curious find was that it was carefully folded inside a piece of paper that had a small map sketched on it. The illustration bore an "x" that she could only assume marked where the button had been found. Her confusion and interest only increased when she found a scrap of fabric and a small, broken knife blade in the same condition.
Setting them aside for the moment, Rin turned her attention to the journal where she was sure the answers would lie. After wrapping the blanket securely around her shoulders, she settled in as comfortably as she could and began to read the story of her mother's life.
It began when her mother was a few years younger than she herself was at the moment and continued on until just before her death. Her marriage, the birth of her children, and all the other important events of her life were written about in great detail. It was like being given the chance to relive her mother's life, seeing everything through eyes that weren't her own.
Towards the end, the entries grew more subdued. She wrote about the bandits and her fear that her husband and family might be injured. There was then a gap of several weeks during the time when Rin's father and brothers were killed. She guessed that the time had been too traumatic and her grief too great for her mother to worry about putting it into words.
The entries that came after that pause were radically different from the ones before it. The entries were now short, clipped sentences that spoke of a cryptic mission her mother had been carrying out.
Searched meadow. Footprints left, cut off at river. Familiar footprints; check boots.
Asked questions at N. town- times don't match. Baker spoke of another man coming around. Description sounds familiar. The one?
Question R.S., J.P., and S.S.. Find out what they saw firsthand.
Demons? Involved? Or helpful?
The final entries were lengthy but clearly written in haste. The slightly smeared words detailed times and places where people had been during the attacks. While the names of the people and towns were abbreviated until Rin couldn't decipher them, there were enough details that she was sure someone with more knowledge of the area would be able to pick them out with little trouble.The last entry in the journal held her attention the longest. If she was right, the date marked it shortly after their departure in the middle of the night. It was just before her mother had been killed and so the words that she had scrawled sent a chill up Rin's spine.
He followed us. Have to do something drastic. Hiding clues where he won't find them. Trying to get word to someone back home. This ends now.
Rin swallowed a sob but couldn't stop the tears that misted her eyes. It had ended, but not the way her mother had been hoping. The threat had come from someone other than the man she thought- no, knew was chasing her. She should have paid more attention to the people who'd been so quick to condemn her for her knowledge.
Shaking off the sadness as best she could, Rin turned her attention to the things that could still be handled. The logical plan to ask Myra to decipher the names of the towns and people was quickly overshadowed by a belated revelation. If her mother's notes were to be trusted - and Rin was certain that they could be - then she had found the person behind both the bandit attacks and the murders of her family. All the random notes of her search had been condensed into proof against someone she listed only as C.M.. Even as uninvolved and uninformed about the situation as she admittedly was, Rin could tell that her mother had amassed what amounted to a very strong case for murder.
Focusing on the room around her for the first time in hours, Rin was startled to find that the first light of morning was making its appearance. She rubbed at her tired eyes and stretched muscles that had become tight after hours of stillness. A heavy sigh escaped her as her excitement was dimmed by the decision that loomed in front of her.
Years had passed since the deaths of her father, brothers, and mother. She was now the only one left to see that their names were cleared of what they had been accused of. She had the proof in front of her; with the help of Myra, she could see to it that the truth was known to everyone who had condemned a man for dieing before he could defend himself. It was up to her to see to it that her mother's final efforts hadn't been in vain.
But on the other hand, was it really worth it to dredge up the past? She had been living peacefully since her return. Bringing up old scandals was sure to shatter that calm, making her a person of interest for quite some time. She would lose the solitude that she held so dear and quite possibly a few of her friends as well. Who knew who this C.M. was and who he might be connected to.
Rin sighed heavily. This could be one of the most important decisions that she would ever make. Choosing between the past and the future might seem simple but there were so many downsides to both choices that she was filled with uncertainty. Would it be right to put her own selfish wants before the honor of her family? Was it okay to let the past put her own life at risk? Whoever this C.M. was, he wouldn't be too happy about having it all brought up again when he probably thought he had managed to get off scot-free.
Leaving the papers on the table, she slowly carried out her morning routine. Changing her clothes and folding the blanket that she had used were done on auto pilot as her mind continued to race. It was when she was washing her face that the decision seemed to almost be taken out of her hands. As she looked up at her reflection, she found herself looking into her own eyes like they belonged to a stranger.
Or not quite a stranger.
They were her mother's eyes, not just in color but in experience now as well. They had both been through tough times and they had both come out with their pride and beliefs intact. Her mother had faced her defining moment with everything that she had to give. She might have died in the course, but Rin was sure that she would have found that fate much more acceptable than never having tried.
Now it was her turn. A crossroads lay in front of her, waiting for her to take the first step. Winning or losing wasn't the point, she saw; it was the trying that mattered in the end. She had to do whatever she could to accomplish what she believed was right. No matter what happened to her as result, doing her best would be enough.
Knowing that, Rin understood that there was only one thing that she could do. Yanking one of the blank sheets from the back of her mother's journal, she dashed off a quick note and pinned it to the door. Gathering all the evidence that her mother had left her, she returned them to the box and tucked it under her arm. With her cloak slung over her shoulders to ward off the early morning chill, she retraced the path that she had just taken the night before.
Rin only made it halfway to town before there was a sudden movement behind her and everything went black.