Plotting By Grand Design A Current Relationship

Chapter Three- Of Angels and Architecture

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something foolproof is to undestimate the ingenuity of complete fools- Douglas Adams

During his first N.E.W.T. on Monday, Harry's brain galloped like a racehorse where once a tired and rather bored carthorse ambled along. His mind seemed so unbelievably well organized too! He wondered if this were what it was like to be a Snape or a Granger. Gods! What could either of them do after two drops of Memory Ease? He finished his History of Magic N.E.W.T in good time and left early. Looking back over his shoulder he saw that most students were still writing away madly or sucking on quills trying desperately to summon specific names of Goblins long dead- like Hfthyrth the Unforgiving or Hrystfrth the Unforgiving, who in retrospect, may have been even more unforgiving. Harry looked forward to the end of his first day of N.E.W.T.s mainly so he could talk to Snape about it.

After his last N.E.W.T on Friday which was the practical test for Defense Against the Dark Arts Harry returned as usual to Snape's office.

"I did not expect you, Mr. Potter."

"You've said that every day this week, sir. I'm beginning not to believe you. Why would you even be here if you weren't expecting me?"

"This is my office, Mr. Potter. I do keep regular office hours for the benefit of all Hogwarts students. Thankfully, I am seldom trespassed upon by the rest of you."

"Funny that, considering most are terrified to come anywhere near you."

"What? Even brave Gryffindors?"

"Oh yeah, especially some of us!"

"Always nice to hear that teaching has not been a complete waste of my life."

"Though I never thought I'd hear myself say it- you are a brilliant teacher, sir."

"I take it your last tests went well? Did you choose to try the potion, by any chance?"

"Of course! I took it before every single N.E.W.T. I do have some intelligence, sir, no matter how well I hide it."

"I see. How did you find the Memory Ease Potion?"

"Dug around in my pocket for it!"

"Keep trying, Mr. Potter. You may inspire me to smile, one day."

"I want to make you to laugh one day. I know I'll do it, too. Probably not when I'm trying to be funny, though. Gave up on that hope weeks ago. But to answer your question, sir, the Memory Ease Potion worked amazing well. I feel confident that I got an E or better on all my N.E.W.T.s. Scary as it is, I'm fairly sure I got an O in Potions! Of course, I didn't bother to sit for Divination. I'll never find anything but tea at the bottom of a tea cup. I wouldn't even know I had a future, never mind how to find it, if it weren't for you. I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me, Professor."

"Mr. Potter, there is no such thing as Memory Ease Potion."

"What? That's not possible, sir!"

"I assure you, it is. It is so possible, that it is a certainty."

"I don't believe it. You're having me on!"

"Do you require Veritaserum or would you like to try your luck as a Legilimens?

"Well that was bloody sneaky even for a Slytherin!"

"Thank you. Congratulations, Mr. Potter. I hope your N.E.W.T.s will open many doors for you. Not that many a door could withstand the Savior of the Wizarding World should he ever manage to trip his way to the doorstep then deign to knock."

"What kind of potion was that, then?"

"It was a placebo."

"Even your placebos taste horrible!"

"I find that an interesting flavour adds to the illusion of reality."

"I'm glad, sir. I had a lot of fun thinking that I was cheating. If I had cheated, though, I'd never have imagined how well I could do on my own. That's the best prank anyone's ever played on me. Says a lot too, considering the Weasley twins. Did you do it so I wouldn't feel nervous?"

"Self-confidence can make all the difference."

"So that's what you do for your Slytherins? Give them all placebos?"

"They would assume I was attempting a mass poisoning, Mr. Potter. Have you given any more thought to what you might like to accomplish in the next hundred years or so with your spotless reputation and bumbling good luck?"

"Yes sir."

"You may as well tell me. I'm afraid neither the unbearable suspense nor the shocking revelation will be sufficient to finish me off- or do you not intend to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts next year?"

"Well, that's far better than Trelawney ever did. I haven't told a soul. Am I really that predictable?"

"All Gryffindors seem destined to become living cliches providing they live long enough. Have you spoken yet to the Headmaster?"

"No. First I wanted to make sure you didn't mind, sir."

"Why would I mind?"

"Well, I thought you might want the position, sir, in which case I won't be applying. It would be just like Dumbledore to give it to me even though you are in every way better-qualified."

"Do put your ill-conceived best intentions away before you take someone's eye out. Do not forget that you are dealing with a Slytherin."

"Oh, I don't think I'll be forgetting that for a while."

"I have sought the position in years past because it was in my best interest to do so. I wanted to use my vast experience to better prepare you to face Voldemort. In ordinary circumstances, using a Time-Turner and doing twice the work teaching two subjects for the same meager pay is not my idea of a wise career decision."

"You would have done all that for me?"

"No. As I said, I was serving my own best interests."

"I heard what you said. Do you always make up selfish reasons to do all these selfless things?"

"Careful. One could enquire the exact opposite of a Gryffindor."

"At least one of us might get an honest answer."

"Which one, I wonder?"

"I did say- might."

"At least my honest answer would not be, that I do not know, Mr. Potter."

"What could be more believable? If I said it, I mean?"

"That the Sorting Hat may have been on to something suggesting Slytherin, perhaps?"

"You do have a good memory. Why wouldn't Dumbledore let you teach DADA? Was it because I was doing so poorly in Potions?"

"Ah, I see. Somehow you are responsible for all tragedies that occur within a thirty mile radius, including Quirrell and Lockhart? Perhaps the Head Master simply found them to be more suitable applicants."

"Don't forget Umbridge, fake Moody, and Pettigrew masquerading as a woman, sir."

"Yes, thank you. I was trying to forget."

"So was I. Must be all that 'Memory Ease Potion' I've been taking lately. If it weren't for Remus and Professor McMagus, I might suspect that anyone without some dark agenda would have been deemed underqualified."

"A certain amount of suspicion can be beneficial to one's health."

"Providing that you had no objections, I had planned to speak to him as soon as I have the results of my N.E.W.T.s."

"Considering recent history, some deranged charlatan could be vying for that position as we speak. Do not wait, Mr. Potter, providing that you are -certain- you want the job. As for your qualifications, I can tell you from experience that battling a Dark Lord is excellent preparation for dealing with children."

"Clearly your teaching technique reflects that philosophy, sir."

"I would like to think so. You realize that you may become the first Defense professor in decades to make it all the way from one year to another?"

"Here's hoping."

"No. Let us hope for your sake that you will not enjoy the run that I will have had teaching here, by the time they get around to prying a cauldron spoon from my cold dead fingers."

"So you do mean to stay? Here at Hogwarts?"

"As the well publicized 'Real Power and Master-Mind Behind the Dark Lord', who unjustly escaped a close, personal, though brief relationship with a dementor, I do believe that my options for alternate employment remain limited."

"Trelawney will get what's coming to her one day."

"I imagine so. She is on my list."

"How long is your list, sir?"

"Not as long as it used to be."

"If the papers should have lauded anyone a hero-"

"There are no heroes, Mr. Potter."

"You're right. But sir-"

"After all that has happened, you are not still expecting the world to be fair?"

"No. You teach that subject as thoroughly as any other, sir."

"If I could have forced you to learn only one thing, that would have been it."

"So what did you do to Trelawney that she hates you so much?"

"I often said she had a brilliant career ahead of her writing fiction. Perhaps she should have been at the Daily Prophet all along, while I missed my true calling in Divination."

Harry was fairly certain that Divination was the only class he had ever taken at Hogwarts that Snape hadn't subbed at one time or another. He tried to imagine Snape in that creepy, half-lit tower surrounded by clouds of incense, informing students they would open their minds and step briskly into the world beyond or deal with Snape's wrath in this one. He figured such a thing, should it ever happen, might overflow the infirmary with some never to recover from the fright.

"Hermione gave Trelawney a broken Muggle clock once. The card read, 'To help predict time! Guaranteed twice correct every single day! Happy Christmas from Third Year.' Trelawney never realized it was a joke, though. That old clock's still up in that tower. I did enjoy her final prediction, that she had to stay out of battle to avoid bringing bad luck for our side. Honestly, when there were first years running around throwing Jelly-legs Jinxes at Death-Eaters, the Prophet calls her hiding up in that tower the brave sacrifice that turned the tide for the Battle of Hogwarts!"

"Had you ever the misfortune of witnessing first hand some of the results of Trelawney's daily wand-work I doubt you would disagree so strongly."

"Really?"

"She is to a wand what Mr. Longbottom is to a cauldron. What ever you think about the journalistic integrity of the Daily Prophet keep in mind that her employent there has improved general safety here at Hogwarts."

At the Leaving Feast, Dumbledore announced that since Professor McMagus was leaving for Rome to accept a job with the Vatican Wizarding Guild, Professor Harry Potter would be remaining at Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts in the coming year. The entire hall cheered, except for Harry, Snape, and most of Slytherin House. He then asked Harry to join the rest of staff at the Head Table. Harry took the empty chair to Snape's right. When the feast was winding down, Dumbledore took Professors Potter and Snape aside.

"Harry, Severus, I am aware the two of you intend, shall we say, to modify your current relationship. I am hoping, old fool that I may be, to talk you into reconsidering that which I fear may be a hasty and flawed decision. Severus, as Harry's mentor, you have done great good that has benefited not only the two of you, but also Hogwarts School. I know if you decide to continue in this role, you and Harry are destined to do many great things for the benefit of the entire Wizarding World. It would be great folly to complicate such a successful working relationship with a romantic entanglement at this time. I'm not saying that there will never be a fine time for such things, I only ask that you wait, when there is still so much more to accomplish in the scheme of things."

"Headmaster, I have spent the better part of twenty years as a double agent at war. For the past seven of those years, I have had the profound misfortune of teaching Mr. Potter. Now, from my work for the greater good, from my work for the benefit of the Wizarding World, from my work in the scheme of things, from my work teaching potions to ignorant, clumsy, apathetic children, I am taking three weeks leave, effective immediately."

"Of course, Severus, you are most entitled! Where will you be going on your holiday, if I may ask?"

"To my rooms. I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason, under any circumstance, what so ever. If the castle decides to fall down on top of me, I request you wait three weeks, or until I dig myself out, which ever takes longer, before letting me know about it. Goodnight, Headmaster. Harry, you are most welcome to visit my rooms at any time."

The amused grin Harry had been wearing turned into his whole smile, meant only for the man who had proved himself worthy, time and time again. Harry took his arm.

"I'm on holiday too, then, Headmaster. See you in three weeks! Lead the way, Severus."

Dumbledore shook his head sadly while smiling fondly at the foolishness of youth, which was now all but running toward the dungeons. By the time he had sat down again and had picked up his goblet, he was convinced that getting Harry and Severus to fall in love, was all his idea, a major victory for the Light, as well as the pivotal part of his own grand design. Well then, Dumbledore thought, as he toasted his own genius silently, all I need do now is to remember the reasons why and then floo call the good news to Sybill Trelawney at the Daily Prophet.

Thanks for reading! All comments and suggestions welcome like a warm blanky in winter.