The song finished as I closed my door.The memory of our first kiss was one
that was both painful,yet sweet.A bitter sour taste came to my
mouth.Blood.I had been biting my lip so hard,to prevent tears from
falling,I had actually cut myself.
I sighed and wiped it away,acidently knocking over a photo frame.I hadn't noticed it,so I picked it up curiously.The photo showed me and Elan,playing and laughing in the backyard of our home,with Greg smiling and pushing us on the huge wooden swing we had.It was a muggle picture,taken a summer ago.I was puzzled,who had taken it?
In the photo,Greg looked so happy and smiley,so much so that we actually looked like a family.From the photo,you could guess that Greg and I were parents and Elan was our son.Greg...
He is just so amazing that sometimes its hard to believe.He knows about Malfoy,our relationship,yet doesn't mind the least bit when people comment that his 'son' Elan,is a wonderful child,he doesn't mind when other Muggles tell him that his 'wife'-me-,and him look perfectly compatible.He takes it in.I truly admire him for that.To think of it,I don't know Greg that well,but he treats me wonderfully.As much as I try to keep the relationship purely platonic,I'm sure every girl would be swayed by him.
I often run this through my mind:"Should I date Greg?Or maybe start something with him?",its a constant question that has bugged me,ever since I saw Greg play with Elan,when Elan was 5 months old.He looked so concerned and caring,even though Elan was not his son.I have heard Elan call him 'Daddy' by mistake a few times,instead,he doesn't brush it off or reprimand him,Greg just laughs and whispers in Elan's ear,tickling him.
I don't know what really stopped me from having a relationship with Greg.Afterall,I have known him for close to three years,the tabliods in England and all over the world,claim that we are secretly married.We always laugh this off,but I can see in Greg's eyes,that he wishes that to be so.I sometimes feel like I'm using him,using him to help me get back at Malfoy,or maybe to help bring Elan up.But then,Greg never says that he is not free when I ask him to help,he comes every other day or sometimes everyday to see Elan and me.He accompainies me to functions,state functions,whenever I need an escort.
A man so caring should never be left alone,he is handsome,devishly handsome;sweet,kind,caring etc.Everything a woman wants,a woman needs.Yet why have I chose a platonic relationship?Yes,he has told me he has feelings,but should I consider them?Should I move on?
I have puzzled about this almost my entire life after having Elan.It seems like a buzzing bee,waiting for honey;like a lion,waiting for a prey;just waiting for an answer.I feel like I'm the prey and Greg's the lion,waiting patiently for my answer,any answer,wherether a nod or a shake of my head.Anything,just a sign.But can I forget?Can I forgive?Can I stop my tears from flowing?Can I put a stop to the pain?Can I look Malfoy in the eye and tell him he means nothing?
Not now,not here.I don't think I can.How about Greg?What about him?Do I still have a relationship of a sister-brother kind?Or use him as a father to Elan?
I kept thinking about that,running it over and over my head.So much so that at one point I fell asleep.I awoke,nevertheless,with no answer.
Maybe a step at a time,maybe memories,thoughts,people,can help me make my decision.
I sighed and wiped it away,acidently knocking over a photo frame.I hadn't noticed it,so I picked it up curiously.The photo showed me and Elan,playing and laughing in the backyard of our home,with Greg smiling and pushing us on the huge wooden swing we had.It was a muggle picture,taken a summer ago.I was puzzled,who had taken it?
In the photo,Greg looked so happy and smiley,so much so that we actually looked like a family.From the photo,you could guess that Greg and I were parents and Elan was our son.Greg...
He is just so amazing that sometimes its hard to believe.He knows about Malfoy,our relationship,yet doesn't mind the least bit when people comment that his 'son' Elan,is a wonderful child,he doesn't mind when other Muggles tell him that his 'wife'-me-,and him look perfectly compatible.He takes it in.I truly admire him for that.To think of it,I don't know Greg that well,but he treats me wonderfully.As much as I try to keep the relationship purely platonic,I'm sure every girl would be swayed by him.
I often run this through my mind:"Should I date Greg?Or maybe start something with him?",its a constant question that has bugged me,ever since I saw Greg play with Elan,when Elan was 5 months old.He looked so concerned and caring,even though Elan was not his son.I have heard Elan call him 'Daddy' by mistake a few times,instead,he doesn't brush it off or reprimand him,Greg just laughs and whispers in Elan's ear,tickling him.
I don't know what really stopped me from having a relationship with Greg.Afterall,I have known him for close to three years,the tabliods in England and all over the world,claim that we are secretly married.We always laugh this off,but I can see in Greg's eyes,that he wishes that to be so.I sometimes feel like I'm using him,using him to help me get back at Malfoy,or maybe to help bring Elan up.But then,Greg never says that he is not free when I ask him to help,he comes every other day or sometimes everyday to see Elan and me.He accompainies me to functions,state functions,whenever I need an escort.
A man so caring should never be left alone,he is handsome,devishly handsome;sweet,kind,caring etc.Everything a woman wants,a woman needs.Yet why have I chose a platonic relationship?Yes,he has told me he has feelings,but should I consider them?Should I move on?
I have puzzled about this almost my entire life after having Elan.It seems like a buzzing bee,waiting for honey;like a lion,waiting for a prey;just waiting for an answer.I feel like I'm the prey and Greg's the lion,waiting patiently for my answer,any answer,wherether a nod or a shake of my head.Anything,just a sign.But can I forget?Can I forgive?Can I stop my tears from flowing?Can I put a stop to the pain?Can I look Malfoy in the eye and tell him he means nothing?
Not now,not here.I don't think I can.How about Greg?What about him?Do I still have a relationship of a sister-brother kind?Or use him as a father to Elan?
I kept thinking about that,running it over and over my head.So much so that at one point I fell asleep.I awoke,nevertheless,with no answer.
Maybe a step at a time,maybe memories,thoughts,people,can help me make my decision.