I'm not dead! I think I'll write a little...



Ch. 10

"Vinny! Come on Vinny, get your scrawny ass out of bed!"

Vincent awoke abruptly from a deep sleep to the sound of Cid's loud and gruff voice. He looked up groggily to see the pilot standing impatiently over him, hands on his hips and a scowl on his face.

"Wha?" Vincent asked dumbly, as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Cid couldn't help but chuckle a little. He hadn't seen Vincent first thing in the morning before, and the guy'd die if he knew how un-Vincent he appeared.

"Mornin' Sunshine!" Cid greeted sarcastically. "Get up and pull yourself together! There's dirty deeds to be done, and we're the ones doin' em'!"

Vincent yawned and slowly pulled himself to a seated position with seemingly much difficulty.

"Hmm? Cid? What're you...(yawn)...Hmm?" was all the reply Vincent could manage. Cid rolled his eyes, but couldn't hold back a smile. 'I need a camera,' he thought to himself. 'If the others could see him now...or last night for that matter, they'd shit themselves laughing so hard.'

"Vincent! Wake up! What're you, drugged? It's damn near 5:00 in the morning, and you're just lying there like a sack of potatoes, you lazy bastard! Come on, up,up, up!" Cid yelled.

'Hmmm...5:00 in the morning...' Vincent mused to himself. 'This is like it was when I was training to be a Turk...waking up to some asshole yelling insults at you...barely ever enough sleep...too early...5:00 in the morning...wait a minute, 5:00 in the morning?!'

Vincent suddenly snapped to full conciousness and glared in disbelief at the impatient pilot still standing over him with a scowl.
"Cid, I've been in bed for barely 3 hours! What could possibly be so important at this hour?"

Cid rolled his eyes, and said as though he were speaking to a child, "Vincent, do you really think that we can discuss your little plan with the others awake and wandering around the Highwind? If we don't discuss this now, we'll have a helluva time trying to find somewhere to do it without Tifa winking at us, or Yuffie hangin' around in the hopes that you'll molest her again..."

Vincent growled.

"...or somone elso overhearing us and getting the wrong idea...or right idea in this case..." Cid continued. Vincent groaned.

"Aw, quit you're bellyachin'," Cid said. "Get up! And comb your hair! You look fuckin' ridiculous," he added with a laugh. Indeed, Vincent's hair first thing in the morning resembled something out of an 80's nightmare. Well aware of this, and a little embarrassed, Vincent found his red bandana by the bed and tied his unruly hair back as he always did, never releasing the laughing Cid from his deathlike glare.

Cid wiped a tear away from his eye as he found his composure. "So that's why you wear that thing, huh?" he asked. "And here I was thinking it was just to look tough."

Vincent sighed. "My, but aren't we full of smart ass wit this morning," he replied venemously.

"Come on Vinny! Pull some pants on and get your ass out in the cockpit! I can see you'll need plenty of coffee, so I'm gonna go make some and meet you out there!" Cid said, realizing that the morning was getting away from him and he couldn't wait to hear what Vincent had in mind for their mission. With that, he was out of the bedroom, making a beeline for the coffee machine.

Vincent yawned again and shook his head. He had a plan the night before, but it was going take time to come to all of his senses and remember it. Vincent scoffed. 'It's not as though I'm even capable of completely coming to my senses anyway,' he realized. 'Otherwise, I wouldn't be up at the crack of dawn to discuss covert operations concerning Tifa's chest with Cid.'

He scoffed again at the thought of Cid. He was acting like a kid on Christmas morning waiting impatiently for his parents to wake up so he could open presents. That was Cid though.

'I can't believe how I laughed last night,' he thought as he got dressed. 'Have I really opened up that much? Of course, I was really tired last night...' Vincent looked down thoughtfully at his claw. 'Then again, this whole thing is so ridiculous, how could one not laugh about it? I am human after all.' Vincent stopped strapping on his shoes for a moment at that thought. 'Is that true? I thought was just a monster...'

"Hey! Are you moping already!?" Vincent jumped, and twirled around to see Cid glaring impatiently with his morning cigarette hanging out of his mouth and gripping a coffee pot in one hand, and two mugs in the other.

"Come on, goddammit! Time's wasting! You can philosophize about what you are later!"

Vincent cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "How did you...?"

Cid rolled his eyes. "Because it must be like waking up with a bad hangover,' he replied simply. Vincent's confused expression didn't change. Cid heaved a heavy sigh.

"Ya know, it's like this: you've been so caught up in your past, you didn't even realize that you're living in the now, and then it hit you all of a sudden, ya know? That's why you were laughing so hard last night. It hit you like a ton of bricks, and now you're thinkin' the next morning, 'whoa, did I do that?' Now you're feeling all guilty for being human."

Vincent stared at his friend. 'Human...'

It made sense, in a Cid sort of way. How strange it was to have Cid of all people actually understand him.

"I said you can philosophize later, now get in here!" Cid yelled. Vincent smiled, and followed Cid into the cockpit, shaking his head.

Minutes later in the cockpit of the Highwind....

"Alright, Valentine. What's on your mind?" Cid asked eagerly as he poured Vincent a cup of coffee. He rubbed his hands together for a moment, then leaned back in his chair lighting yet another cigarette, and propped his feet up on the controls, waiting for Vincent to talk. Vincent couldn't decide if he reminded him of some shady businessman, or a counselor.

After a taking a sip of the much needed coffee, Vincent began to explain.

"Well, I figure that Cloud will be in an especially good mood today considering...last night's activities..."

"Last night's activities! Oh that's good, Valentine. I like the way you think, you old dog," Cid interrupted. Vincent nodded patiently, and went on.

"So, I thought that maybe if you and I invited him out for a night on the town, he wouldn't be much opposed to a few drinks..."

"Yeah...that's a good idea! I mean who woudn't be up for some good ol' fashioned drinking after getting laid!" Cid added. Vincent sighed. What little modesty he was trying to leave for Cloud and Tifa was obviously not working.

He went on nonetheless. "So after he's had a few drinks..."

"Right, when he's too loaded to know which end is which..."

Vincent sighed, obviously annoyed.

"...I think we might be able to casually, emphasis on the word casually, ask what's going on between Tifa and himself..."

"Yeah, we want to know if he's gotten any! I mean, we know that he did, but he doesn't know we know..."

"Cid, please. Then, when he's opened up about the whole ordeal..."

"Then he'll be more than willing to tell us about Tifa's titties!"

"Cid! Would you just shut...hey, you didn't call them puppies..."

"Well it's a good plan Vinny," Cid said. "However, I have my doubts."

Vincent looked at him questionably. "Doubts? What are you talking about?"

Cid leaned forward, closer to Vincent, and folded his hands earnestly in his lap, as though he were about to tell Vincent, 'thank you for your time. You'll be hearing from us in a few weeks, but don't bother calling us.'

"What if Cloud doesn't want to drink?" Cid asked.

Vincent shook his head. "He will. You said so yourself that anyone would be in the mood for drinking after getting laid...I mean, after last night's...activities..."

"Yeah but, what if he's Mormon?" Cid went on. Vincent scrunched his face in a 'what the hell are you talking about?' expression. "Ya know. They don't drink," Cid explained.

Vincent plopped back against the back of the chair, closed his eyes, and rubbed his temples as though he could already feel a headache forming.

"Cid," he said, exasperated, "I'm pretty sure that Cloud isn't Mormon, and I'm pretty sure he'll be more than happy to have a few drinks, especially if someone else is paying for them."

Cid nodded, as though to say, 'you may just have a point.' "Let's just get one thing straight," he went on.

"Hmm?" Vincent replied.

"That someone else is you."

"What are you talking about?" Vincent asked harshly, his 5:00 a.m. patience wearing thin.

Cid sighed and rolled his eyes, his own patience, although a litle more unfounded than Vincent's, wearing thin as well.

"The someone else paying for drinks? That's you. This is your plan, and the drinks are on you, alright?"

A little annoyed, but too exhausted to argue, Vincent just nodded, grunting out a 'fine,' and a few more grumbles to the effect that it wasn't like he hadn't had to cross dress and feel up a teenager, or anything like that, so paying for overpriced drinks at a bar for three people was no problem.

"Quit your bitchin,'" Cid huffed. "This is payback for almost getting my damn arm ripped off by one of your pet demons."

Vincent ignored Cid's comments, and poured another cup of coffee. It was going to be a long day.

Later that afternoon, everyone was back on the Highwind, although two particular members of the crew were noticably more tired than the others. Cid was falling asleep at the controls of the ship, wishing desperately that he hadn't insisted upon waking Vincent up at 5:00 a.m. when he hadn't gotten much more sleep than his friend had in the first place. Vincent had tried to sneak away to take a nap, but Cid insisted that he stay in the cockpit with everyone else, just to make sure Cloud didn't slip away before they could find a good time to ask him to go out for drinks. Vincent had insisted that that was entirely, completely, and utterly unnecessary, but Cid convinced him that 8:00 a.m. was an odd time to ask someone if they wanted to go out drinking. So, Vincent sat in his usual corner, although this time slumped in an exhausted heap on the floor, keeping an eye on Cloud in between nodding off. It still seemed like a pointless thing to do, since all Cloud had been doing all morning was little exercises and reading comic books.

Battles were the worse though, as Cid and Vincent both proved to be more than slightly off kilter. Cid accidentally healed an enemy, and Vincent was nearly killed by a mangy Nibelheim wolf. Cloud himself seemed to have other things on his mind as well, as Cid pointed out to Vincent with a lecherous grin when Cloud had left the Highwind forgetting to put on any armor. Vincent rolled his eyes at Cid's suggestive comments, but had to admit that Cloud's mind was definitely elsewhere.

"I don't know how I could have forgotten my armor! Hehe!" Cloud said with a shrug after ending a battle that should have ended a lot more easily than it did. Cid nodded and laughed like a dirty old man, much to Cloud's confusion, as an irritated Vincent elbowed Cid in the ribs. Cid shut up, but kept his lecherous smile on his face.

"We all seem to be a bit out of it," Vincent agreed. "It would be a good evening to go out and have a few drinks, wouldn't you say?"

"Oh yeah, definitely a good night for some drinks. I'd be up for that," Cid replied a little too eagerly. "You're paying, right Vinny?"

Vincent cringed at Cid's reaction, as the last thing he said sounded as though he were reading it off of a que card.

"Yes Cid, drinks are on me," he replied through gritted teeth. "How about it, Cloud?"

Cloud looked rather perplexed at the fact that Vincent was suggesting anything social, let alone offering to pay for it, and Cid was acting even stranger than ususal. Still, free drinks are free drinks.

"Sure. Sounds like a good way to wind down," Cloud replied.

"Now Cloud, it's just us okay? We need a boy's night out," Cid went on, speaking as though Cloud were a toddler. Vincent held back the urge to slap his forehead in exsperation.

"Boy's night out? What you fools talkin' 'bout?" The three boys turned to see Barrett aproaching them.

"Oh! Barrett! Hi. How's it going, Barrett?" Cid asked awkwardly. Vincent internalized a sigh. This was not going to turn out as planned. Barrett eyed Cid suspiscously, but shrugged it off.

"Vincent and Cid were just talking about having a boy's night out, and Vince is paying. Sounds like fun, huh? " Cloud replied.

"Vincent was talkin' 'bout a boy's night out? And he's payin'?" Barrett looked to Vincent in disbelief, who just silently nodded his head in confirmation.

"You feelin' alright, man?" Barrett asked him, refusing to believe that Vincent Valentine would be the one to suggest such a thing.

"You should come. I haven't had a good night of drinking in ages," Cloud said with a laugh. Barrett nodded.

"Yeah, alright. Why not? If this cracka's payin', why not?" Cid looked to Vincent with a look of horror on his face, but Vincent just shrugged, as if to say, what can we do about it? Cid sauntered off mumbling cuss words, as Cloud headed back to the Highwind with Barrett.

Vincent shook his head, and followed slowly behind them. It had been such a long day...And he had a feeling it was going to be an even longer night.




A little disclaimer: The Mormon quip is in no way intended to be offensive. I have nothing against Mormons, and wrote that to make you laugh at Cid's bizarre thought process. I mean, if you think about it, why would it be offensive? Not drinking is a good thing. Not that drinking is a bad thing, but...Look, just don't be offended, okay?