Calvin, Hobbes, Mom, Dad, Susie, Moe, Candice, John Chill, the aliens, and Calvin's alter egos sat in the theater as The Calvin and Hobbes movie came to a close, and the credits and music began.
"That was quite the movie." Said Hobbes. "Yeah but I was really the main character! You were just the stupid by stander!"
"Yeah, well, I was the one who protected you from the aliens!" Hobbes snorted.
"No, buddy! I was the hero who sung the song!"
"Will you two shut up!" Asked Stupendous Man.
"It was I who told you Where Camp Pine was!"
"That was me!" Yelled Tracer Bullet.
"You didn't even load your stupid gun before the fight!" Moe said.
"I Was the one who made twinky go the Summer Camp!"
"THE MOVIE'D BE NOWHERE IF IT WEREN'T FOR US!" Screeched one of the aliens.
"I'll say!" Calvin screamed. "IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, ME AND HOBBES WOULD HAVE BEEN THE SAFEST THINGS ON THE PLANET!"
"Who wants to watch that at a theater for five dollars a ticket?" Asked Susie.
"I want my money back!" Screamed Candice. "I got a whole minute carved into that stupid movie!"
"Now, now." Said Dad. "Think of all the character you all built at the camp and mountains?"
Everyone stared at Dad like he was a kind of mutant.
Calvin turned and faced the audience. "HEY! WHAT ARE THEY STILL DOING HERE! GET OUT!"
"Calvin be polite." Said Mom.
"Polite my foot! GO SOAK YOUR HEAD YA STUPID READER!"
"Shut up, all of you." Said Chill.
"Oh, so now the camp instructor's gonna boss us around!" Yelled Spiff.
Soon everyone was yelling at each other.
Calvin and Hobbes were fighting, Mom and Dad were arguing about character, Calvin's alter egos were arguing with John Chill, Susie, Moe, and Candice were arguing about who was the main character, and the aliens were just fighting for the heck of it.
Then the credits ended and an extra scene came on, the group stopped fighting, and stared at the screen.
Two words loomed over the screen in big red letters: DROP DEAD!
"KILL THE SCREEN!" Screamed Calvin.
Everyone dived at the screen, and started tearing it apart until the theater manager came in, and told them to get out.
On the way out, Calvin turned to the audience, again, and screamed, "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU MORONS! GO READ OUR SEQUEL, CALVIN AND HOBBES II: LOST AT SEA! GO SIT A CORNER, AND COUNT TO FIFTY THOUSAND! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, BUT GET OUT!"
And with that, the left the theater, still fighting with each other.
TV COMMERCIAL FOR THE FIRST MOVIE
The commercial starts out in darkness, then words appear in a mysterious font, a narrator says the words out loud and mysteriously. "You've seen them in the comics." Then a chainsaw sounds. And the narrator says more cheerily, "and now they're crashing their way to the big screen!" It then cuts to Calvin, about to cut the couch in half with a chainsaw. Then quickly cuts through several screen shots from the movie, playing dramatic music, then it finally cuts to the movie title. The narrator says it out loud. "Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie. Rated PG. Coming soon to a theater near you!" Cuts to Calvin throwing a water balloon at the screen. SPLASH!
TV COMMERCIAL FOR THE SECOND MOVIE
"Are you looking for a quiet place to just relax?" Asked the narrator showing pictures of animated people relaxing on a beach on Hawaii. Just then, a loud booms sounds, and the narrator says, "WELL, YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND IT HERE!" Cuts to Calvin flying across the water in a speed boat with a panicking Hobbes at his side. The narrator continues. "Calvin and Hobbes are back, but this time, they have bigger fish to fry." Cuts to a scene of a sea monster rising from the water. "Really big fish to fry." Cuts to the title. "Calvin and Hobbes II: Lost at Sea! Rated PG. Coming soon to theaters everywhere!"