thunderbirdgirl - glad you approved a the lecture. thanks for reviewing.
Fiona12690- well no running away (sorry) but I hope you like this chapter anyway and your sister too! Happy Birthday to your sister!
Marblez - glad you like the story so much. Here's another chapter
AngelMouse5 - well someone helps Alan out in this chapter but it isn't John and that's all I'm saying.
Queen of the Elven City - so glad I'm doing this storyline justice for you. Thanks for the idea!
star-shimmered-dragon - hey I could have had Jeff ground him to his room. Given the circumstances I think Jeff is being lenient on his youngest although Alan really does need a hug doesn't he! Thanks for reading.
Virgil's POV:
"Give the kid a break," John told Gordon and I as he walked by us, heading in the same direction that Alan had disappeared in. The was a hint of anger in his tone.
John's words irritated me just a little. Gordon and I had just been joking around, like usual. The five of us always gave each other a hard time. It was all harmless fun. It wasn't like anyone had been seriously injured. Yes, the chemistry lab was in pretty bad shape but it was just a building. It could be redone.
"What is his problem," Gordon commented looking down the corridor that John and Alan had just walked down.
I wasn't sure which brother he was talking about.
"I'm not sure," is what I said to him though which was the truth for either one of them. Alan was usually never so quiet. Usually he was throwing insults right back at us. As for John, he was the level headed, and most even-tempered of all of us. Yeah, he didn't join in on the teasing as much as the rest of us did but he had never gotten upset over it.
"We have time before dinner," Gordon said beside me. "Want to go for a swim."
"Sure," I said with a shrug. I wasn't sure right now was a good time to talk to either of my brothers. Not to mention, if I talked to John I would probably end up listening to a veiled lecture, something I wasn't in the mood for right now.
It was Onaha who finally called us in for dinner. The two of us got out of the pool and dried off as much as we could. Throwing a t-shirt on, we both headed for the house. Gordon and I hurried upstairs and changed quickly. When we came back everyone else had gathered at the table.
I took an empty seat next to John, while Gordon sat down next to Alan.
"I don't need fireproof clothes do I?" Gordon asked with a huge grin on his face.
"Ha, ha," Alan said quietly looking down at his plate of food on the table in front of him.
"Okay, that's enough Gordon," Dad said.
"Yes sir," Gordon replied and quickly got interested in his food. Dad usually didn't get involved when us kids were teasing each other. When he did, we all knew to cool it.
John started to inform Dad and Brains about what he had found out from Scott. I tried to pay attention as it had to do with IR business but I wasn't completely successful. I kept looking across the table at Alan.
My little brother was completely absorbed in the food in front of him. I wasn't even convinced that he was paying attention to the conversation between John and the grown-ups himself. That in itself was unusual. Alan was always fascinated with what we were doing with International Rescue. He usually even tried to include himself into the conversation.
Tonight though, he was acting like the food on his plate in front of him was the most fascinating thing going on. He wasn't really eating either, just sort of moving the food around on the plate. I was starting to feel really guilty about my candle comment earlier.
I suddenly felt John nudge me in the side with his elbow.
"What?" I said coming out of my thoughts to see everyone at the table except for Alan looking in my direction. I had missed something.
"Are you okay, son?" my Dad asked. I could see his eyes searching my face for the answer as well as waiting for my verbal answer.
"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine. I was just lost in thought. What did I miss?"
"Brains was just saying that he finished the updates for Thunderbird 2 and was going to install the new program tonight. I want you and John to make a test flight in the morning and see how the modifications work."
"No problem," I replied, happy to have any excuse to take Thunderbird 2 out.
"Dad may I be excused?" Alan asked. Looking across the table at him I saw that he had stopped moving his food around the plate and was looking over at Dad.
"Sure go ahead," Dad replied. I could hear the worry in his voice. Evidently I wasn't the only one who realized that something was amiss with Alan.
The rest of dinner was typical. We finished discussing business and then started talking about other things. Without having Alan to watch, I was now able to pay attention to the conversations taking place around me and join in on them.
After dinner, we all went our separate ways. Gordon always disappeared into his room. He never would tell me what he was up to and although I was still curious I gave up asking. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me. John disappeared outside with a book. He would read until sunset and then stargaze for awhile when the stars came out. Even when he was down here with us, I often felt as if part of John was still up on Thunderbird 5.
Dad and Brains headed for Brains started for the Thunderbird 2 silo, probably to start install the new software. Fermat tagged along after them.
Normally, I helped Onaha clean up the kitchen and then headed for the family room to practice the piano. There was something else I wanted to do tonight though.
I started clearing the table, trying to figure out what I would say to Alan. Someone had to talk to him and I'm sure John had already tried and if I let it go, would probably try again. However, I knew Alan better and vice versa. John had often told me that he felt that even when Alan talked to him, that Alan held back. That he wasn't quite comfortable with completely opening up to him. Like Alan was intimidated by him.
Although John couldn't understand how Alan could ever be intimidated by him, I could. John was the polar opposite of the rest of us. More quiet and introspective than any of us. Easy going. Unflappable. Even when he was here, John had the tendency to keep to himself. It often took one of us asking him to join us to get him involved in things around here.
Of all of us, I was probably the most like John. I had less of a temper than our other three brothers and thought things through a little more than the rest of them. However, I could still be impulsive and I lost my cool much more often then John did. Not to mention, I had never had any problem with inviting myself into a group.
Not to mention we all knew how much Dad depended on John. Gordon, Scott, and I knew where that came from though. Alan didn't. He had been too young when Mom passed away to remember how chaotic things had been following her death. Dad was trying to deal with his grief, run a business, and figure out how to run the house too. It had been John who had stepped up and helped him out. I wasn't exactly sure how it had happened but suddenly things at home had gone from chaotic to organized and it was John's doing.
When the dishes were all cleaned and put away I headed upstairs. I heard music coming from Alan's room as I stopped in the hallway in front of his door. I knocked on the door and didn't get an answer. I knocked harder the second time giving Alan the benefit of doubt that he simply hadn't heard me. I still didn't get an answer though.
"Alan, open the door. I want to talk to you," I called out to him.
"Go away," was the reply I got.
"I'm not going anywhere, Alan," I told him. I waited a few moments but when I didn't get a reply I banged on the door even louder.
"Oh, hold on," Alan's voice came through the doorway sounded just a little annoyed. Oh well, he'd get over it.
I heard the door unlock but Alan didn't open it. With a sigh, I opened the door myself and walked in. I saw Alan sitting at his desk, a book opened in front of him. He was trying to pretend he was actually reading the book but he wasn't fooling me.
"Alan we need to talk," I told him walking over to the desk.
"I'm kind of busy right now," he told me without looking up. "I have school work to do."
"Well it helps if the book is actually right side up," I told him reaching out and turning the upside down book around. Alan sat back with a sigh.
"Alan, about earlier, I'm sorry about the candle remark. I was just teasing. I didn't think you would take it so hard."
"Of course not, its only me. The joke of this entire family. The one who can never do anything right," Alan said standing up and heading for his bed.
"Alan that isn't true," I said as he flopped down on his bed.
"Yeah right," he replied looking up at the ceiling. "Sometimes it feels like I'm adopted."
"You're not. If you were adopted we wouldn't keep you around but we're stuck with you," I told him. I was trying to get a smile out of him but it didn't have the intended effect. "That was suppose to be a joke, kiddo," I told him walking over to the bed and sitting down.
"Well it wasn't funny," he told me.
"Okay, sorry," I told him. "So what's all this sulking about anyway."
"No matter what I do, I can't seem to do anything right. I don't even no why I try. Everyone just expects me to screw up and Dad hates me."
"Dad doesn't hate you," I told him. "Dad loves you."
"Sure he does. He loves finding a school for me every semester. He loves being called by the teachers and headmasters weekly about his problem child. He probably thinks I'm the biggest mistake he ever made."
"You're wrong Alan," I told him.
"Yeah right. After the four of you how can he not feel that way about me. Seems like no matter what I do it'll never be good enough. I mean Scott is this great pilot, and natural leader. Gordon was a star athlete and okay student in school. You're the valedictorian not to mention a great musician. And John, well he's Dad's "golden boy"," Alan said.
I couldn't hide the smile at that last remark. It had been Scott that had first used that particular nickname for John and it was one that Dad did not particularly care for.
"Don't let Dad hear you call him that," I warned my little brother.
"Why not," Alan said. "It wouldn't really matter. Nothing I do is right anyway. I'm not good at anything."
"Everyone is good at something Alan. You just haven't figured what that is yet," I told him suddenly understanding his downcast mood. It wasn't easy growing up in this family. There were a lot of expectations for you and it didn't just come from us kids or Dad. There were a long list of Tracy's who had been influential and considered the best at whatever there chosen career had been. I had been lucky though. By the time I was Alan's age, I had already discovered my talent as a musician. I couldn't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't had that.
"And Alan, you're not the first one of us to get into trouble at school. Almost all kids get into trouble at least once. It's part of growing up."
"Yeah, but none of you ever blew up a chemistry lab."
I couldn't help it. I had to laugh. That statement just sounded funny.
"You have a point there, but it isn't the end of the world. No one was seriously hurt and its not the first time someone in this family has seriously messed up."
"Really?" Alan asked looking over at me.
"Really," I told him. "Gordon broke someone's nose a few years ago over something stupid. The first time I was on Thunderbird 5 by myself, I crashed the entire computer system up there. It took Brains and John a week to get it back online. And when Scott was about your age he took Dad's car and wrecked it, not to mention he crashed Thunderbird 1 one time while showing off. And you were kind of young at the time, but Mom probably had as many teacher conferences because of Scott as Dad has had because of you so far if not more."
"I always remembered Scott being the one looking after us," Alan said.
It didn't surprise me that was how Alan remembered Scott because while John was busy running the house, making sure we had food, the house was clean, and meals were on the table, Scott had started looking out for Alan, Gordon, and I. He ended up making sure we got to school, extracurricular activities, and dealing with most of the minor trouble we had gotten into. I think Scott had secretly been glad when we all went started going to boarding school. It gave him time to go back to being a teenager.
"He did," I told Alan, "but before that he was Mom and Dad's problem child," I told him remembering things I had gotten away with simply because Mom and Dad had been too busy dealing with my older brother. "No one is expecting you to be perfect Alan, just to take things more seriously."
Alan looked back up at the ceiling. I wasn't sure if I had gotten through to him or not but I had no idea of what else to say. I waited a few minutes, giving Alan a chance to say something. When he didn't say anything though, I stood up and headed for the door. I was about to walk out when Alan finally spoke up.
"Hey Virgil," he called out. I looked back at him. "Thanks," he told me with a small smile on his face.
"Anytime," I told him. "But stay away from fire this weekend will you. I don't feel like having to evacuate the house," I said with a grin.
Alan took the pillow out from underneath his head and threw it at me. I put my hands up just in time to deflect the pillow. Laughing I bent down and picked the pillow up and then proceeded to walk out the door.
"Hey give that back," Alan called.
"You want it, then you're going to have to come get it," I taunted him.
I hesitated long enough to see him get up off the bed and start in my direction and then started running down the hallway. Alan chased me down the steps, through the living room and into the family room before he caught up to me.
Alan tackled me, sending us both to the floor. As we wrestled for the pillow, I happen to catch a glimpse of Dad standing in the doorway. I didn't miss the slight smile on his face as he walked in the direction of the front door, probably heading outside to find John.
Alan's POV:
After finally managing to wrestle my pillow back from Virgil, I headed back upstairs in a much better mood. Virgil's admission that the others had made pretty big mistakes themselves made me feel a little bit better. Maybe my older brothers weren't as perfect as them seemed. I couldn't believe that Virgil had crashed the computer system for Thunderbird 5. That was definitely right up there with me setting fire to the chemistry lab. Maybe there was hope for me yet.
And then there was Scott. I had always idealized my eldest brother. He had always seemed so confident and in control. I wanted so much to be like him. From what Virgil had said, I might be more like Scott than I had realized. Probably in ways that my Dad wished I wasn't, which was maybe why Dad seemed to have so little patience with me. Maybe he was just frustrated with having to go through the same things he already had.
Well, maybe I could start changing that. I wanted my Dad's approval. I wanted my Dad to be proud of me. Of course, I had no clue how to achieve that goal. Even paying attention in class, there was no way I was going to get the grades like Virgil and Gordon had in all of my classes. However, I could at least start trying. Do the homework, and actually study for the tests instead of just making up half of the answers.
For starters, I had some schoolwork to do to get ready for the finals next week. I might not be going back to the school following this semester but I could at least pass the classes I had spent this semester taking. Especially chemistry. I had no desire to repeat that particular class.
I went into my room, and sat down at my desk. I started reading the history assignment my teacher had given to my father. I was confined to the house this weekend anyway, so I might as well make some good use of my time.
After I had read through the history assignment I pulled out my math book. I took one look at it and realized that I was in over my head. I wasn't even sure how to do what had been gone over in class this past week.
Picking up my book and notebook I left my room and made my way down the hall to Fermat's room. I knocked on the door hoping that my friend would be in there. It didn't take long for him to come to the door.
"Hi Alan," Fermat said seeming a bit surprise to see me. 'Just wait until you hear what I want', I thought to myself.
"Hey Fermat. Can you help me with my math homework? I have no clue what I'm doing."
"Yeah, sure," he said stepping aside.
Femat and I sat down at his desk and started going over what had been covered in math. I had a feeling I was about to find just how patience my friend really had.
I wasn't sure how long we had been working when the alarm went off. I heard the running footsteps of my family as they headed toward the control room. I wanted to follow them. To at least be in the control room to watch what was happening.
I heard Fermat sigh beside me. We had actually been making some progress but I think he expected me to do what I usually did and go rushing for the control room.
I resisted the urge though. The only thing I would be allowed to do was watch. My time would be better spent here with Fermat.
"Where were we?" I asked Fermat as the alarm was silenced.
Fermat looked at me in surprise. Then I saw a smile come across his face.
"Ma-ma-maybe there is hope for you yet Alan," Fermat said.
"Anything is possible," I said as we went back to working through the algebra problems.
It was ten o'clock when Fermat and I finally called it quits.
"Maybe we can tackle ch-ch-chemistry tomorrow," Fermat suggested. I could tell he was still skeptical as to how long my sudden interest in school work was going to last.
"I don't want to interfere with your grades," I told him feeling a bit guilty of monopolizing his time. However, I knew if I were to have any chance at passing my classes I need his help.
"No pr-pr-problem Alan. Helping you will help me understand the ma-ma-material too," Fermat said.
"Okay. And thanks Fermat," I told him picking up my book and leaving his room.
I went down to my own room and changed into a t-shirt and sweat pants to sleep in. Turning off the lights I climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep.
I woke up to voices out in the hallway. I glanced at my alarm clock, it was only two-thirty in the morning. The voices must have been my family coming back.
"Take it easy John," I heard my Dad say.
Those words caught my interest. Something was going on. I threw back my blankets and headed out of my room. As I walked out into the hallway, I saw Dad, Virgil and John disappear into John's room. Gordon was standing by the doorway looking inside. He was still wearing his IR uniform which was dirty. His face was smudged with dirt too. It also looked like there was blood on the back of the uniform.
"What happened?" I asked him as I walked down the hallway. Gordon didn't answer me.
Glancing at him, I walked by him and into the room. Virgil and Dad were on either side of John who was sitting on the edge of his bed. John was as pale as a ghost, and his left arm was wrapped from his wrist to his elbow. He was the only one still not in is IR uniform and the only one not covered in dirt.
"Dad, relax," John was saying. "Dr. Harper said I was going to be fine as long as I don't overwork the arm."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gordon slip away. Although I wanted to ask Dad what had happened I was also curious about Gordon. He didn't seem like himself.
Silently, I slipped out of the room and followed Gordon downstairs. Gordon headed outside, and although Dad had said I was restricted to the house this weekend I followed him. It wasn't like I could get into much more trouble than I was already in.
Gordon sat down on the side of the patio, looking out across the pool that stretched out in front of us. I sat down beside him. I saw the far away look that he had on his face. I wasn't even sure if he was aware that I was there.
"Gordon?" I said questioningly as I rested a hand softly on his shoulder.
"It was my fault," he said softly which told me absolutely nothing.
I wasn't sure what to do or what to say or even if I should say anything.