Ch 15

Okay, so Vincent wasn't used to being drunk, and was even less adept at handling himself in an intoxicated state when in the terrifying form of Chaos. Carrying three ungainly, passed out men in his clutches was even more of an obstacle, given his current state. After drifting clumsily into several trees, and nearly dropping his incapacitated comrades from dangerous heights, he somehow found himself back home on the airship. Chaos knew instinctively where to go, although he scratched his head curiously upon entering the human contraption.

'So this is where the humans dwell,' he thought as he investigated his surroundings. Nothing was very familiar, and yet he knew it was the current dwelling of his host body. He had the overwhelming instinct that he wasn't supposed to be there, and would cause some serious unrest were he to be spotted.. He had to be quiet (easier said than done for the huge monster) and he had to find places to securely place the three drunk imbeciles he was carrying.

Chaos looked from one side to the other. When he realized that he was alone, (or at least, practically alone) he began to tiptoe. He traveled but a few steps before cringing at the ominous scrapes of his clawed feet. Tip-toeing on hooked, razor sharp claws that were four inches long was obviously not the best idea. Perhaps he could shuffle. Chaos took a few more steps.

Scratch, scratch. Chaos wasn't sure what a blackboard was, but the noise he was making was identical to what one sounded like if a cat were to scatter its clawed feet a cross it. Not pleasant at all. Perhaps he should just lay one foot in front of the other as slowly and carefully as possible?

Thump, thump... Well, now what? Chaos thought grumpily. Even when we walked slowly and deliberately, his hefty feet made a noise that gave off the impression that a mini herd of elephants were marching down the hallway of the Highwind. Had he ever done anything quietly?

Then, it dawned on him. His wings! As large and muscular as they were, he still could flap them pretty quietly, as long as he was slow about it. That was it! He would dispose of the three passed out humans in his clutches in a remote part of the ship, find an unoccupied room, go to sleep, and wake up in Vincent's psyche. It shouldn't have to be too hard, as long as he didn't get caught.

Chaos looked down at the three men in his arms, and sneered in disgust, at the sight and sudden realization that the large, gun-handed man was drooling peacefully on his chest. The younger blonde was snoring quietly, and the older blonde was mumbling something about puppies in his sleep. Better dispose of them as soon as possible, he thought disgustedly.

Then the demon glanced above him and saw the remarkably low ceiling that the ship had in it's hallway. It wasn't going to be easy to fly with those three in a drunken stupor that close to the ground. Heaving a heavy sigh, Chaos took flight, (well, sort of) a few inches above the floor, his wings batting slowly together, making quiet whoosh noises. He moved like molasses, his hulking body teetering slowly back and forth, trying to balance his own weight along with the others, and almost failing in a clumsy, and ridiculous motion. Now he was hoping that he wouldn't be caught due to sheer embarrassment, rather than causing a frightened stir amongst the inhabitants of the ship. Gigabeast would never let him live this one down.

Meanwhile, in a stuffy closet...

Tifa had been trying to keep her panicked, shallow breaths as quiet as possible, and felt that she was failing miserably. Every move, every slight noise she made, including her own palpitating heartbeat seemed to echo in her ears. Beads of sweat were rolling down her forehead, as she attempted to calm herself enough to wield the huge mop, and at least pretend that it had more strengths to it than the possibility of rendering foes helpless with laughter for a moment. She had been hearing some awful noises down the hallway, and they were getting closer to her. She had heard scraping noises, that could have only been that long and terrifying blade of Sephiroth's sword following it's master's footsteps. She had the heard some thumps, which surely must have been Sephiroth's heavy booted feet, coming up the hallway. She wished she had her fighting gloves with her now more than ever. She could fight with those like nobody's business, perhaps even up against Sephiroth. Perhaps.

Suddenly, a new noise was slowly creeping near her. She held her breath, half out of fear of being heard, and half out of her fear in general. She was tempted to stay in the closet and hide, but she cursed herself silently when the thought entered her head. She was no coward. She was Tifa Lockheart, martial arts master, and ex-bartender. Nobody could mess with that.

The noise was right outside the door of the closet now. Soon, the vile bastard would pass by the closet. Completely unaware of her presence, he'd be caught off guard as she jumped out of the supply closet behind him, and then...she'd beat him with...a mop. Well, he may have been full of Jenova cells, but he had to vulnerable to head trauma. He did have a human body, after all.

As the villain passed by her, she listened intently, absentmindedly clutching her chest, as if to quiet her heartbeat. The noise was a...whooshing sound? Well, obviously, it had to be Sephiroth's long jacket, trailing behind him and catching the air as he walked...or something. It didn't matter. He had passed by the closet. This was it.

Tifa clutched the broom handle with a deathlike grip, kicked the door open with a terrifying (or terrified, as it were) battle cry, and pummeled the evil thing with all of her might. Completely off of his guard, upon contact with the wooden handle, Sephiroth gave out a surprised...yelp? Tifa was a bit confused by the odd noise he had made, but didn't let up in her frenzied attack.

"Take that! And that! And this!" She bellowed, violently swinging the mop into...Chaos?

It took Tifa a moments to really realize that the large thing she was beating the hell out of was not Sephiroth, but Chaos, Cloud, Cid, and Barret. With a slow realization fighting it's way through her frantic instinct to defend herself, she absentmindedly landed a few more blows with the mop, slowly, and deliberately. She stopped herself finally, and stood in horror at what she had done.

Cloud, was rolling on the ground holding his head in pain, Barret, suddenly awake, was sitting straight up looking around him saying, "Huh? What happn'd?" and Cid was still asleep, snoring. Chaos was no longer Chaos but Vincent, as the hell beast had retired into Vincent forcibly, swearing up and down that he'd never help another human as long as he lived in between yelling at the laughing Gigabeast to shut up. Vincent was currently trying to focus his sight, and wandering how much of it was the alcohol, and how much of it was a concussion. Tifa was still in shock.

Meanwhile, RedXIII, Yuffie, and Cait Sith were running to the hallway wondering just what the hell had happened.

It was going to be a long time before Vincent, Cid, Cloud, Barret, and Tifa would ever hear the end of it.