The Next Jeremy Springhead
(For the thousandth time I own nothing!)
One Monday the usual mail came in. Yet there was one letter that would change one duelist teenager's life forever. When he picked up the mail, he saw it from his uncle Jeremy Springhead (twice removed).
Dear Nephew,
After the fair time I have been on my show, I have considered to retire. I don't want the show to die out just yet. I believe that you are the most charismatic of the family (and probably the sanest). I have decided to invite you to California so you can try-out for your first episode. If I deem you worthy you shall be the next Jeremy Springhead and the name of the show shall be changed to yours. You need to bring some of your closest friends, because the rest of the cast is retiring with me. You can reply to accept or deny, and I shall give you the date.
Sincerely,
Uncle Jerry Springer
He decided to attempt the job and replied immediately. He called up some pals to tell the news.
"You are related to Jeremy Springhead! Oh, my goodness!" A girl hollered over the phone.
"I can kind of see the resemblance," a firm male voice said with slight sarcasm.
"We meet at the airport next week at 7 a.m." Every agreed and they could not wait for that week to come.
They were being prepped and primped in the makeup room.
"No! You are not putting that makeup crap on me!" Luwa thrashed around in the seat. "Watch where you are pointing that thing, lady!"
"Don't fight them. You will just lose your eye," Rex chided. "Don't touch the hat! For the final time I'm not taking off the hat, damn it!" The last woman was adjusting the suit on the next Jerry.
"Ah. Too tight, too tight! Loosen the tie." An attendant burst into the dressing room.
"You're on in five." He slammed the door. Those minutes flew by like a jet. Luwa sprinted to the sound effects booth. She pulled a microphone out.
"No Emmys, no golden globes, no respect. But who needs that garbage when you have money, bags and bags of money. Introducing our new, "Steve", Rex Raptor." Rex Raptor scurried in as the girls screeched. "Here comes are new Jeremy, Weevil Underwood!" The crowd was apprehensive, but applauded warmly.
"Hello and welcome and welcome to the show. Today we have some of the greatest Duel Monsters prodigies as they bare it all. First, we have Tea Gardner who has something to say." When Tea came in there was much booing and cursing (which was censored since they are on TV.). Tea flipped them off (which was also censored) and sat down next to Weevil.
"I have something to admit, Weevil," Tea grunted. Weevil was quite interested to learn about the "perfect" girl. "I am not a woman." Rex was nearly floored of his spot. Luwa's eyes twitched.
"Er, so you are a transsexual?" Weevil gulped hard. Tea nodded.
"I need Yugi to know."
"Here is Yugi, folks." Yugi rushed in half-yelling and half-crying.
"You are a man, and you never told me! Freak!" Yugi hollered. The crowd began chanting "FREAK!" They began fighting and Yugi pulled of Tea's wig. He was bald. This was Rex's time to break it up. The crowd was in a pure uproar! "WEEVIL, WEEVIL, WEEVIL!" Luwa made a ding ding noise of the panel. Rex pulled the pissed, pointy prodigy (say that ten time fast). Yugi pulled against Rex's defense stance screaming more censored words. All Weevil could do was pushup his glasses and sort things out.
"Why didn't you tell him this?" he said plainly.
"I love you Yugi I really do," Tea stated.
"Whore, slut, skank, liar!" Yugi shouted repeatedly. He pulled against Rex's shoulders. The crowd was chanting again "WHORE!" Luckily, a commercial break was next. The cast slouched, as they were able to separate the angry teens off the stage.
"And to think my Uncle survived over a decade of this bull," Weevil murmured.
"And to think Joey is next!"
"SON OF A..."