Kenshin checked on Kaoru frequently the next day, but was unaware of her worsening internal condition. Her fever vanished and Kenshin tried his best to make her eat, but she claimed that her stomach wouldn't handle it and her body and strength began to wane.
For Kaoru, every minute was a few more painful memories and a few more loved ones lost. She relived the excruciating sense of loss that had plagued her whenever her mother died, she went through the horrible feeling of betrayal when her father never lived up to his promises and eventually left her and her mother to die, she went through the nightmare of when her brother that died shortly after he was born. Kaoru would press against her neck and try to cut off her air supply, but she always breathed again. Every waking moment that she had was filled with bitter memories. She had to stop it.
Kaoru silently stood to her feet (a task which exhausted much of her strength) and slowly made her way to the kitchen. After looking around to make sure that no one was there, she reached into the cabinet and took out a small white bottle of sleeping pills. She rushed back to her room and closed the shoji screen.
She opened the bottle, removed two white pills, closed the bottle, then hid it under her pillow and laid back down on her futon. She stared at the ceiling and shoved the tiny pills into her mouth and swallowed, hoping that the medicine wouldn't cause her to dream...
Kaoru woke up several times, and every time she would instantly reach under her pillow and take more of the sleeping pills, eventually increasing the intake to 3 and 4 pills until she ran out. She awakened, wearing out her last few pills, and stared once again at the dark wooden ceiling.
Now what?...I can't sleep any longer...I can't run from the memories, so how do I escape them?...There is another way...
She slowly turned her weary head towards the drawer that held the knife. Kaoru got up on her knees and crawled towards the drawer, opening it and reaching under her clothes and felt the cold steel blade that thirsted for her blood.
She sat up and held the knife pointing up in both of her hands and holding it close to her, feeling the reverse of the blade, thinking about whatshe should do with it...
Another very short chapter..hehe, cliffies! Mhahahaaa!