X-men: Evolution: "The Mightiest assemble!" An original fan fiction based on the Misfits Universe (Thanks for Red Witch for letting me use her universe, if you haven't checked her stuff…well, you wouldn't be reading this if you hadn't already!)
Legal Notice: I don't own X-men Evolution (if I did, it would be on the air right now), or GI-Joe, or "Avengers", and I don't own the Misfit's Universe series of fan fiction work either. Once again, thanks to Red Witch for allowing me to use her wonderful universe…this time to pay tribute to earth's (and comic's)mightiest heroes.
Chapter Four: "Training days: Round one"
Ultima Base…the transportation room.
Captain America tapped his foot on the ground, as the anxiety was already taking its toll on him. Since we are talking about someone who fought in World War Two, was frozen for decades, then reawakened in the current times to find out everything and everyone he knew was either gone, old or out of fashion, the term "anxiety" doesn't make much justice here.
"Just one minute for the training to began…"-Captain America thought, taking comfort with the thought that at least Agent Drew allowed him to start with Tigra, who given her innocence and naive ness, shouldn't be much of a problem.
"I mean, Tigra rarely causes any trouble…"-Captain America was interrupted in his thinking by the loudest wailing he had heard in his entire life…and by the sound of it, it was rapidly approaching.
The doors to the room opened, and Tigra ran inside, her wailing reverberating across the massive room, enhancing the already deafening scream.
She was covered head to toe in a white, powdered substance…
"WAHHHHH! CAP! THEY WERE MEAN TO ME!"-Tigra screamed in tears as she stopped in front of Captain America, her crying face just below his own.
"Who, What? Where?"-Captain America asked, the foul smell of the powder and the scream giving him a rapidly increasing headache.
"EVERYONE! THEY SAID I WAS GETTING FLEAS EVERYWHERE, SO THEY GRABBED AND THREW ME IN A BATHTUB FULL OF FLEA KILLING LIQUID, THEN DROPPED A SACK OF POWDER ON ME!"-Tigra wailed as she screamed.
"Look, Tigra, I'll make sure they pay for this, but…"-Captain America suddenly noticed that not only the rest of the team had entered the room, but that Tigra had suddenly become very quiet…and her left eye was twitching.
"Hey, Cap, sorry bout that, but the squirt had it coming…"-Warbird was interrupted as Tigra pounced on her so fast no one was able to even see her. Her eyes were injected in blood, and she was hissing like a wild beast.
"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!"-Tigra screamed as she started to shred Warbird's clothes furiously, screaming in and endless loop.
"Get her off me! Get her off me!"-Warbird yelled, as Thor and Iron-man tried to pull Tigra from her, something they not so easily achieved.
"God, what's gotten into her?"-Hawkeye asked, while Wasp helped Warbird cover herself, as her uniform was practically a bikini now.
"Hell I know! I can barely hold on her!"-Iron Man screamed, as Tigra's savage swapping of claws was already making dents and scratches in his armor.
"Even the Berserkers of Asgard would run in fear of her!"-Thor added…part of his uniform was also torn already.
Before anyone could do anything, Captain America smacked Tigra right in the back of her head with an open palm, knocking her out cold.
"Hardcore, Cap"-Hawkeye said…but he was silenced along with the others because of the look in Captain America's face.
"You nitwits! Tigra is a genetically designed assassin unit developed by Cobra! How could you do that to her? Subjecting her to such a traumatic experience made her return to her programmed personality! I can't believe all of you were irresponsible and stupid enough to do such a thing!"-Captain America yelled.
Everyone's silence was his answer…
"Now, leave! I'll talk with Fury and determine your punishment later!"-He added, causing everyone to leave the room in seconds.
Captain America sighed as he stared at the unconscious Tigra…the look in her face had returned to her innocent, normal self.
"What the hell is wrong with the present?"-Captain America moaned.
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Moments (and a quick shower) later…
"Tigra ready for practice, Cap!"-Tigra cheerfully giggled as she entered the room again in a huge twirling jump.
"Okay…glad to see some spirit around here. You sure you don't want to skip training? I mean, because of the incident earlier?"-Captain America asked.
"What incident?"-Tigra blinked at him.
"Nothing, forget it…"-Captain America replied, as he remembered that Tigra's memory was engineered to forget anything she did while she was berserk…some sick way to make her unable to be responsible for her actions. His stomach turned in disgust at such manipulation of people.
"Look, we will start with a simple combat routine…your objective is to bring me do…"-Before he could even finish, Tigra pounced on him.
"Yay! I win!"-Tigra squealed in delight as she made several victory stances.
"Tigra, you have to wait until the actual session starts!"-Captain America retorted as he got up, and pressed a button in the side of his helmet.
"Agent Sitwell, please transport us to the location"-He spoke into his built in transmitter…immediately, the whole room twirled around, and they both disappeared, only to reappear on an abandoned offshore oil rig complex, composed of several different drilling platforms. Certainly having a teleportation system had its perks.
"EEEEK! There's water everywhere!"-Tigra shrieked in panic.
"Well, the session will also deal with your phobia of water…now, the objective is to drop me down…on the floor, not off the platform, while using the environment to your advantage…I'll give you a moment to get familiar with the place, and then we will start, okay?"-Captain America said.
"Okey dokey!"-Tigra replied cheerfully as she disappeared inside the complex maze of pipes and machinery.
"Relax, Steve…she's just a little cat girl afraid of water in an oil rig in the middle of the ocean…you have the main advantage here"-Captain America thought.
Several minutes later…
Captain America had already checked the whole perimeter twice and no sign of Tigra whatsoever so far. He felt not only proud of the girl, but also slightly worried that she had more potential than he had thought. Because of that he brandished his shield, ready for a surprise attack.
He turned around when a rattling sound caught his attention, and turned, only to see an empty barrel which lid had fallen of place.
"Relax, relax…she's just taking her tim…-Captain America didn't even finished that sentence, as he stepped on a large, long trail of oil that was all over the corridor.
"ARRRRRGGHHHH!"-Captain America yelled in terror as he slipped forward at breakneck speed, effectively exiting the corridor and the facility as well…as the oil spill went all the way to the very edge of the platform…he was in sheer terror, which transformed into horror as he heard the loud, long yell of excitement coming from behind.
"HERE I COME!"-Tigra screamed with delight as she swung from a crane's cable, heading directly at Captain America…
"She set a trap! She actually set a trap!"-Captain America managed to think as Tigra gave him a push with both her legs in the back, increasing his already too fast speed of slipping.
"NOOOOOO!"-Captain America yelled as he got lost in the horizon, while Tigra jumped down from the cable, landing gracefully.
"I did it! I did it! I…"-Tigra's celebration dance was interrupted as she noticed that Captain America had slipped of the edge of the platform…and then plummeted downwards with a long yell.
"Oh, Poopie!"-Tigra moaned as she ran forward, not thinking twice.
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Moments later…
Captain America woke up, only to find Tigra's gleaming yellow eyes staring at him.
"Cap, you ok?"-Tigra asked with an expression of worry ness in her face.
"I'm fine, I'm fine…that was…quite an unorthodox way of taking on the enemy, but effective nonetheless…you passed. By the way, where is that smell of wet dead cat coming from?"-He asked, when he noticed that Tigra was completely soaked, head to toes.
"She jumped down and brought you back up, all on her own, Cap. I got transported to see why you two were taking so long, as it was my turn, and I found Tigra climbing up with you on her back"-Warbird said. She was standing next to him.
"Really? I can't believe you did that!"-Captain America said in awe, which caused Tigra to blush and smile.
"Well, its time for fuzzy here to report back…and get a towel. I'm up"-Warbird said into the COM link built on the wrist of her uniform. Tigra disappeared as she was transported back.
There was moment of silence…
"Okay, drop the act…you played possum on her to see if she would overcome her fears, right?"-Warbird asked.
"I think I did a good job of it…Tigra needed to be put in that situation, although her…ambushing techniques proved quite effective"-Captain America replied with smirk.
"Yeah, Yeah…well, I'm a grown girl, so don't even think of pulling that trick on me"-Warbird threatened.
"Don't worry, Warbird…this will take care of your particular problem"-Captain America said as he opened a nearby military case, revealing an advanced missile launcher.
"I'm invulnerable, old man…who's that gonna help me?"-Warbird retorted in disbelief.
"You might be invulnerable, but environments and civilians aren't…so, your objective is to prevent me from blowing up this place…if you lose, you'll be revoked of use of the entertainment room for a week."-Captain America said.
"WHAT? That is totally unfair, I mean, I'm supposed to act as weapon, right? I don't have to care about stupid civilians in the first place!"-Warbird yelled.
"No, you are supposed to act like a soldier…and that means not risking the life of your teammates and civilians...now, heads up!"-Captain America said as he pulled the trigger, a rocket heading straight towards a near drilling platform.
"What?"-Warbird exclaimed as he instinctively dodged it, and the missile hit its target.
"Strike one! Here comes ball two!"-Captain America said a he fired again, this time towards a farther platform
Warbird flew as fast as she could behind it, but reached it just at it reached its target…
"AGGHHHH!"-Warbird yelled as the shockwave of the explosion send her off course, but managed to recover in a few seconds.
"Strike two, here comes the last one!"-Captain America smiled as he fired the last rocket…
However, his smile faded away as Warbird grabbed the rocked with one hand…her face was contorted with rage.
"Here's strike three, you jackass!"-Warbird yelled as she threw the missile back at him…realizing what she had just done as the missile crashed a few feet away from captain America, knocking out cold...and severely damaging the main support pillar of the platform, which began to fall.
"NO!"-Warbird screamed in fear as she flew below the platform, and pressed her back against the section were the pillar was.
She clenched her teeth as the sheer weight of the structure dawned on her…she wasn't sure what her limits were, but she was sure she wasn't strong enough for this. As if confirming her self doubts, the platform began to swerve down, and the pressure was now becoming more and more painful.
"Ahhh, crap, crap, crap! Why the hell did I do that?"-Warbird moaned, when she saw some machinery and barrels fall down the sinking side…it dawned on her that the next thing to fall over could be…
"NOT A CHANCE IN HELL, YOU OVERWEIGHT OIL SUCKING BASTARD!"-Warbird yelled as she pushed upwards, screaming…the platform screeched as the metal began to bend over under such force, effectively shifting the weight on the remaining pillars.
"There…knew this was nothing…for…me"-Warbird grinned, as she felt her strength fading, and for an instant, began to fall down…but her fall was cut short as something grabbed her hand through a hole.
Warbird stared up, and briefly smiled when she saw Captain America holding her…
"Mission accomplished, soldier!"-Captain America said, as everything blacked out for her.
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Minutes later…
"You had all this already planned out, didn't you?"-Warbird said. She was sitting on a barrel, next to Captain America.
"Pretty much…I needed you to realize that no matter what, the life of innocents always come first, Carol…even before your teammates or yourself"-Captain America replied.
"Couldn't you just give me a lecture or something, flagboy?"-Warbird replied.
"I thought about it, but…would you have even listened?"-Captain America retorted.
"Good point…still, if you pull something like this again…I swear, you are going to learn a new place to keep your shield on"-Warbird said.
There was a moment of silence….
"That was a joke, right?"-Captain America finally said.
"Depends if you believed it or not…I'm heading home, and see that Clint gets sent over….one more thing, Captain"-Warbird said as she stood up.
"Yes?"-Captain America asked.
"Thanks…and if you ever tell anyone that I said that, that thing earlier will NOT end up being a joke after all"-Warbird said with a wicked smile as she teleported.
"Young people…"-Captain America said as he smiled. However, he got up on his feet as the humming and the glow of energy returned.
"Okay, what complicated plan for teaching me a lesson in life do you have reserved for poor Hawkeye?"-Hawkeye mocked as he stepped forward, his bow already in his hands.
"None"-Captain America plainly stated.
"What?"-Hawkeye said, completely caught off guard.
"That simple…you are extremely skilled and a superb soldier, as if it came naturally to you. Sot here is nothing I can teach you, Clint, as the sole thing you lack is something that cannot be taught"-Captain America said.
"Come on! What could I possibly be missing?"-Hawkeye asked.
"Common sense. You see war as another carnival stunt or heist, just a way to prove yourself…and that way of thinking is exactly what one day will end up costing your, or worse, someone else his life. Want to be better? Then learn to accept reality and being part of team, Clint. I'm leaving"-Captain America said as he pressed some buttons on his comm. device.
"This is so lame! I had to get up early and sent to the middle of nowhere, and I'm not even getting any action?"-Hawkeye snapped.
"Oh, you are getting action all right!"-Captain America grinned as he snatched Hawkeye's comm. device from his wrist…just as several weapon turrets popped all around the facility.
"What the heck?"-Hawkeye exclaimed.
"Don't worry, these are just loaded with paintballs…enjoy your three hour personal training session"-Captain America said with a grin as he disappeared.
Hawkeye gulped as every turret pointed at his current location…
"And I thought that speech was bad…"-He moaned as he pulled out an arrow.
End of chapter four.
Next: It's the mandatory group therapy session, as its time for Agent Drew to get tortured, psychology style!
After that, its Ultron unleashed, and the Avengers realize just how deadly being super-heroes can be!