Shinji-gelion

(Note: This is being updated as of January 03, 2015. This is edited for grammar and spelling while keeping the story intact despite any parts I wish to change. I was 15 at the time.)

Chapter 4

Awakening of Understanding

Images flashed in his head. Fast and random and nothing he could tell nor relate to. He wanted it to stop but at the same time it beckoned to him, like a call from something he desired to understand. Then all at once everything went away and he saw himself standing in the center of a lake. It constantly rippled beneath him like he was moving, yet he stayed still and he did not sink either. He felt a cool breeze and the warm sun was soothing on his body. It was much like a cleansing, but a spiritual cleansing. Then clouds slowly rolled over the Horizon, and with it the warmth left him. He now felt neutral, like he wasn't warm or cold. Just a medium almost. Or perhaps the two canceled each other out. He watched silently as the sun and the clouds seemed to battle against the other. One side pushed and in response the other returned the action in equal. It seemed like neither would win, when it then fell dark. He began to sink. Slowly descending but it was not scary, it didn't feel real. The water rushed up against his sinking form and then he was submerged. The eyes slowly adjusted to the new environment. The water still rippled in the shadows up top. It shimmered as well. Then he found himself in the plug of the Eva.

"Why do you exist?" A cold metallic voice called to him, but it was neither distant or far. It was everywhere.

"Because I want to find a purpose to exist" He answered back after thinking a moment.

"What part of you in this world makes you as you are and not as others see you."

"Others see me as they perceive me, as I am, as I behave, think and react."

"You exist to be seen by others?"

"I exist to be something to myself and others."

"What is existence?"

"Existence... is our life stories. We write them as we go. Changing back and forth or not at all. We exist as we are."

"What do you want in your existence?"

"I don't know yet. There are things to do in my existence but I do not know ultimately what to do with the outcome or goal of my existence."

"Do you enjoy your existence?"

"My existence is not complete yet. As it is right now it is how I am. Maybe not to please myself but to please others. Existence is lonely if not shared with another."

"Will you share your existence?"

"I am trying, and I think I am."

"How do you share your existence?"

"By Influencing the people around me. And by desiring to be with them."

"Who do you desire to be with?"

"By someone who desires to be with me. With someone that will stand by me and support my decisions. I want to share, not just my existence but my love. I think I have found someone to share it with."

"Then you desire to be loved in your existence and have them loved by you. To exist not as one person but as a whole. Two people intertwined by their hearts as one." Shinji gasped.

"You must no longer be as you are to do what you desire. No longer do you exist to live through torment and humiliation from the person who gave existence to you. You must exist as a whole. Only then will you achieve what you desire, in your life story as you write it." Shinji thought about it. It made perfect sense, it was more clear then purest crystal or the most untouched view.

The water drained away from him and a bright white enveloped him. The memories hit him like a powerful force knocking him away. He saw the Eva once again. Eyes opening. Rei crying. Misato hugging him. The sky over him as he was carried home and the ceiling before he feel asleep.

"To exist as a whole..." He said aloud trailing off.

"To exist as a whole to accomplish what?" A voice answered him. It was soft and sweet and caring. A voice he knew well.

Eyes burned into his. Deep engaging fiery and intelligent eyes. Eyes that he could lose his soul to, and at the same time knew he would always be safe in those eyes. It was a comfort that was beyond anything his mind could match a comparison too.

He realized she had heard him say his thoughts allowed.

"To exist as a whole, with another to complete me." He said in a soft voice.

Rei looked at him puzzled.

"Who is this another to complete you?" He didn't answer but gave his warmest smile to her. Through great effort he sat up and leaned towards her and beckoned her close. She looked at him a while, then she leaned forward. When she was close enough he pulled her tenderly into a warm embrace. Then she felt warm water fall on her shoulders.

Shinji cried gently onto her. Silently without words or sounds. It wasn't a sobbing cry just a very subtle cry. Her mind spun in questions and thoughts, everything was surfacing and she couldn't keep up. Instead a warm feeling came over her and she brought her arms around him and embraced him. Then she realized when she saw his side, that he wasn't sad, but he was crying happy. Suddenly she felt her eyes tear up. She pulled tighter into the embrace. In that moment all she wanted was to stay with him holding him in this manner for ever.

They embraced. A warm loving embrace. After a time Shinji pulled back a bit, his eyes wet and streams in them but he was happy. The look on his face was a pure flood of joy. She reached up cautiously and wiped a the tears from his cheek, in turn he wiped the ones forming on hers.

It came out only as a whisper but she would have been able to hear it miles away.

"I'm so glad you're here Rei. I'm so glad you stayed with me and that I was able to come back to you."

Misato spoke up. "I don't want to interrupt but we should take Shinji to the hospital and make sure he's okay." Rei nodded and held her hand to Shinji. He took the hand and on his weak knees stood up. Rei draped her arm around his shoulder, feeling it would be of help to him.

"Alright, lets go." Misato walked along with him and Rei. Somewhere a good distance behind Gendo observed. The boy was always bringing up such interesting reactions and scenarios.

The walk seemed short even though it was a fair distance. But with Misato fussing over him and Rei protectively guarding him from any touch from anyone, he was almost enjoying it. Well almost was an understatement. They arrived at hospital and although Misato was turned away, Rei stood near by. She refused to move from his side. Shinji just smiled trying not to chuckle but was overwhelmed with joy from her gestures.

The doctors and staff ran some tests on Shinji. They found little to nothing wrong with him save some mental trauma. After keeping him another hour he was free to go. He walked out fine but Rei still insisted to support him. Smiling he took her offer.

"Are you sure you're okay Shinji?" Rei asked staring into his eyes.

"Yes Rei, I'm fine. Thank you for your concern." He gave her a light squeeze with the arm that was around her waist.

"Shinji, what happened in the Eva?" Rei asked out of curiosity and concern.

"It wasn't bad really. It was more like a debate with myself only I could hear my own voice. Although I am not sure if it was my voice. I talked about many things and there were many more things I'm sure I could have kept going on about. I thought a lot about me. I thought a lot about you, and most important, I thought a lot about us." Rei looked in shock and stopped. He stopped with her and turned to meet her facing straight.

"Rei, I want to continue to stay with you, to be at your side. If I end up in that hospital, I don't want to look around to see that roof. I want to look beside me and see you. Your wonderful smiling face and captivating eyes. I want to be able to have someone to come back to. I want that someone to be you." Rei stared at the ground awhile and searched for words while her heart raced in her chest.

"I also,... Want Shinji around me. I would like Shinji to be by my side when I need him. I... I want you near me." Rei leaned forward a bit looking into his eyes. But not looking into his eyes as irises but looking at them past his eyes and seemingly into his heart. Shinji reached forward and hugged her. They embraced standing there.

"Shinji..."

"Yes Rei?"

"Would you do that thing again, with your lips...?" Shinji didn't have to ask what she meant. He leaned towards her more and put his lips to hers in a long passionate kiss. In that moment, nothing else mattered but that they were with each other and the other was their for them.

Misato had gone home ahead of them. She knew full well that Rei wanted Shinji to herself awhile. She ached to see that he was okay. It was her job wasn't it? She debated with herself. There was a knock at the door and Rei and Shinji walked in. He has his arm around her as she had her arm around him.

"Rei, there's a call for you, someone on the phone." She waved her hand non-nonchalantly beckoning Rei over. The moment Rei let her arm drop and stepped curiously towards the phone, Misato ran full speed and tackled Shinji with a hug.

"Don't you ever do that to me again you brat!" Misato hugged Shinji with happy tears in her eyes.

At this point Rei realized she was tricked. She turned faster on her heels then a skater in the Olympics.

"Misato-san! Hands of MY SHINJI!" She was taken back from the volume and force from her lips. But not wanting to be outdone she lunged at Shinji and covered him with her arms pushing Misato aside. Her face had a sullen pouting look that showed jealousy.

Misato got up laughing, her feelings a bit hurt but laughed it off anyway.

"Sorry Rei. But Shinji is apart of this family so I get to hug him too." Rei looked at Misato like Misato was trying to steal something from her. Misato laughed nervously.

"Anyway. Both of you take a bath tonight. You both stink like lcl." She stopped while walking away. "Preferably not together. In fact that's an order."

Rei felt her cheeks burn red and looking to Shinji saw he matched her color quite well.

"Of-of course!" He stammered out. He looked back at her with his face flush.

He walked to his room embarrassed still.

"Umm, you go first." Rei nodded but looked a bit reluctant to leave him.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine now" Shinji nodded smiling. Rei walked backwards till she was at her door and then went in still trying to keep him in sight. Shinji chuckled gently and looked around his room. The smell of LCL was in the room. Misato was right. Rei hadn't said anything. At the same time he didn't remember distinctly smelling it himself. He shrugged and changed into a bathrobe. He sat against his bed looking at the ceiling. He heard the sound of a sliding door. He knew it was Rei going for her shower. He relaxed closing his eyes. After a short while he began to drift and then he fell asleep. It felt immediately right that he felt something shaking his shoulders. He opened his eyes slowly and then wide in surprise.

"Shinji! Shinji! Shinji!" Rei called his name at him.

"R-Rei." Rei was in her bath tower and during shaking him it must have slipped down quite a bit. He could see much of her valley. He turned red.

"Shinji! You worried me. My heart was beating so fast. You wouldn't answer me. Why wouldn't you answer me? All you had to do was answer me."

"Sorry Rei. It's alright now." Shinji got up in a hurry. "Rei, your towel... it's..." He reached to pull it up but in his panic pulled a bit too hard. As if in slow motion it came up off her and glided down to the ground. Rei blinked and looked at Shinji.

"If you wished us to be even. You could have asked." She felt her lips smile.

"No! I mean, that's not..." Shinji swallowed. "Rei..." Rei had the most beautiful body he'd ever seen. Her white pale skin in contrast with her soft features and curves was enough to overload his brain. He looked down at the floor, averting his eyes and then ran to the bathroom. He stood gasping in front of the tub. Suddenly there was hand on his back. He turned slowly, scared, knowing it could only be one person.

"Are you alright?" Rei asked looking concerned but still quite negligee.

"Aaaah!" And with that he stumbled backwards in the tub. The sudden movement caused Rei to slip, and she followed him in, as his robe flew off to the side of the tub. Faster then the blink of an eye Misato was there at the door.

"What's wrong!? OH HELL!" Misato went from zero to holy shit, just as fast as she arrived. She reached out and yanked off Rei faster then she could grab a can of beer from a table. She dragged along the fighting Rei to the main room and had her clothe herself. Then yelled Shinji over when she was decent.

Shinji came out as slow as he could, dreading what lecture or punishment Misato had planned.

"ummm..." He said as he entered her view. Still blushing and very hesitant.

"Sit down." He knew this was not a good time to fight with a woman. He sat down right away calmly.

"We need to talk." Her face was unreadable. Shinji nodded not sure what was going to happen. He began to sweat praying Misato wouldn't separate the two. He didn't want that, it was just an accident.

"Misato,... I..." Then he was smacked in the head with an object. "What's this?" He reached down and froze in shock as soon as he saw what it was.

"It's so nothing bad happens the next time you guys decide to "take a bath together". Although I distinctly remember telling you both not to." Misato rubbed her forehead with her fingers, she had a mighty headache coming on.

"Get me a beer Shinji." Shinji had prepared for that. He tossed her one. She caught it and in one smooth motion opened it and downed it. Shinji and Rei watched waiting for her to finish drinking and continue.

She sighed heavily as it disappeared in mere seconds. Rei looked at her curiously and innocently as if nothing bad had happened. Occasionally her eyes glanced to the object she had seen Shinji receive. Shinji was just red and unsure what to do.

She put down the can.

"I could sit here and oppose all this. I could sit here and try to explain to be good boys and girls. But... That wouldn't stop you two Lord help me."

She glared at Shinji. "You are responsible for your actions. If you are going to carry on what you started I want to see that damn thing used!" With that Misato got up and walked to her room slamming her door. The door opened again suddenly. "AND DON"T MAKE NOISE!" *SLAM*

Shinji blinked and looked to Rei. Rei looked innocently at Shinji confused but smiled hoping for clarification.

"What did Misato-san mean?" Shinji blushed embarrassed.

"Umm... Long story. Maybe we should just go to bed."

Shinji stood up slowly and moved to his room. As he opened his door and went to close it, he felt a hand on his arm that held the door.

Her wet fiery eyes said it but she asked it anyway.

"Please... Let me stay with you?" If someone offered him a million dollars to say no he would have still chosen Rei. He could only nod. It was his turn for his heart to beat rapidly in his chest.

"O-okay then, I will sleep on the floor and you can take the be..." He watched Rei gently shake her head no.

"Together Shinji... You want to be with me, and I want to be with you."

He felt his heart melt.

"Rei,..." He embraced her.

That night they fell asleep in each others arms.

Authors Note: Okay okay okay! Please don't kill me. I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time. Please, I will write more. Don't bomb my house or send death threats. I apologize if it isn't long enough but I am working on more chapters. Feedback! Comments! C'mon people!

Next chapter coming soon! Promise.(This was written at that time. Next chapter is in fact completed)