Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM; if I did I would be filthy rich and doing something else.
Chapter 1: the first hour
3:30AM
A shadowy figured skulked through the halls of Smash HQ, after sneaking past afew sleeping guards he arrived at his destination. The figure opened the door as quietly as possible and slipped into the office, as the door shut behind him he switched on his flashlight illuminating the door and the words etched into its glass.
Master Hand
(Keep out)
Not everyone obeyed signs.
6:30AM
Mario
Mario was not a morning person, well that wasn't true; he was a morning person before joining SSB. Of course back then his definition of morning was between 2 and 4PM. While Mario saw no problem with this Master Hand disagreed and demanded that all smashers be up and ready to fight by 7:30AM. Well in the interests of keeping his job Mario bought an alarm clock, unfortunately he had a clock to wake him up but not one to make him fall asleep which led to a lot of missed Zs, a grumpy Mario every morning and a lot of money spent on coffee. Speaking of coffee Mario stumbled out of his room to go find some.
Link
While Link didn't despise mornings like Mario did he didn't enjoy them, but he had gotten somewhat used to waking up early and now he often woke up afew minutes before the alarm went off. Well today he assumed that had happened as his eyes opened and he slowly stirred from sleep without hearing an ear shattering noise from the table by his bed. As he scanned the room looking for some clothes he turned to the digital clock sitting next to his bed, the numbers on it woke him up faster then any alarm could have. "DAMNIT! 9:45! Crap damn damn crap damnit crap!" Yelling curses so colorful they would make a sailor jealous Link grabbed the nearest clothes and sprinted out of the room knowing Master Hand would be pissed at him for being late.
Young Link
What an idiot, didn't even bother looking at his watch. From his view under Links bed he heard his older self scream, yell some words Zelda wouldn't approve of then run out the door in nothing but his boxers yelling some more words Zelda wouldn't approve of. Getting up early had its perks.
Roy
Unlike most adults at SSBM Roy was a morning person. Come to think of it the only other morning person in this place was Samus. Samus, her long blonde hair, her athletic figure… Looking down Roy realized why he was thinking about Samus so much "Damn morning wood"
Samus
Roy was right about Samus being a morning person. Being a bounty hunter required it, couldn't be groggy and tired when people were out to kill you. As she looked through her closet for something to wear she heard link running through the hall yelling something about 9:45 and Master Hand. Hearing link turned her thoughts to him and Zelda who had been together as long as anyone could remember, everyone was waiting for the day Link got down on his knee and shoved a ring at Zelda. She knew they would never leave each other; she would just have to watch from afar. She had never told anyone how she felt, no need to ruin her friendships with Link and Zelda for something that would never be.
Zelda
Zelda slowly awoke and looked at her alarm clock, afew minutes till it went off. Then what woke her up? Then she heard it "Crap on a crap cracker with crap sauce!" Looks like young Link had pulled another prank on his older self. She would have to give that little boy a lecture and somehow stop linking from strangling the poor child.
Sheik
Waking to the sound of Links screams, Sheik got up and dressed, looked into the mirror and got to work on the mess that was her hair. Although it was hard to tell in the outfit they made her wear she was a girl, Samus joked about how her short blonde hair made her look like Link but she was proud of it. Speaking of Samus her best friend would be up and about by now, probably being hit on by Roy. That thought made Shiek rather sad, best not to think about people who will never notice you…
Fox
Fox woke up to a loud knocking on his door. Getting up and walking to the door he opened it and found the source of the noise, a large blue bird with a pistol stood in front of him "What is it Falco?" "Oh nothing, I just think it's gonna be a GREAT day" The emphases on great disturbed Fox as Falcos definition of great varied wildly from his. "What did you do Falco?" "What makes you think I did something? You're too paranoid." "I know you did something" "Just because I think it'll be a great day? Your so negative" "Just go away before I become an accomplice to whatever crime your planning, have already committed or are currently committing." "Fine" Although he had acted unamused Fox really did think it would be an interesting day, he just didn't want to encourage Falco.
7:30AM
Master Hand
Damnit, they've gone to far. Someone had stolen crazy hands medication from Master Hand's office last night. The last time Crazy didn't take his medication 17 people had died. After that Master Hand started keeping the pills in his office and he locked up Crazy's car. If he couldn't find them today would get very bad very fast.
Marth
Well today hadn't started well. Link had woken him up early but atleast he got to breakfast before the crowd; Zelda was trying in vain to pull Links hands away from Young Links neck. Although Young Link was turning blue what really bothered Marth was the much larger blue thing known as Falco that stood in the corner with a frightening grin on his face. That was never a good sign. As if to confirm his suspicion Marth heard a distant scream. Falco's grin grew a little more.
Ness
"RUN! Run for your pathetic lives!" Several smashers watched as Ness ran screaming through the halls, all wondering if he had hit himself in the head with that bat alittle to hard or swallowed some of Dr. Mario's pills. Then they saw the reason for Ness's warning. Crazy Hand hadn't taken his medication. Barreling down the hall after Ness was Crazy Hand, tossing javelins in random directions and screaming "For the glory of Rome!" Ness ran faster knowing he had to warn the others before Crazy started another rampage.
Kirby
Unguarded food, is their any sin sweeter? After those skinny cowards had run from Crazy Hand, who now referred to himself as Scipii Africanus, Kirby had come into the dining room to find piles of untouched food. Well after he stopped inhaling he looked around the room, every morsel of food and afew chairs were gone. The fact that a psychotic madman who had watched too much of the History Channel was running around was second in Kirby's mind to Luigi's omelet.
Pichu
So dark, so very dark in here. At the sight of Crazy Hand the other Smashers had fled while Pichu had hid under a large bowl. He had stayed after Crazy left, listening for any sounds and wondering what kind of moron would give Crazy a gladius and pila. Maybe all that History Channel he had watched with Crazy would give Pichu an advantage in the coming slaughter. As he began to draw up a plan in his head for a ballista to stop Crazy with he heard rattling and whooshing air. He knew that sound, it was Kirby! A hungry Kirby! The last thing Pichu saw was his bowl being blown away and then he turned to see an endless black void rushing towards him. Tomorrow Kirby was going on a diet.
Well that's chapter 1, review or you'll suffer Pichu's fate.