Chapter 10
Two as one, thus the fight shall be won.
Blackness. He wasn't sure if that was what he saw or blackness was what he felt. It might be some kind of a void but it felt non-threatening. He had been through this kind of thing before. He knew this to be the place where he debated in his mind. Rapidly fast he saw a city and flew through it so that everything was a blur. Thoughts and voices shouted out but did not carry far and he could not discern anything. Everything become faster and faster until it was almost scary. He felt like he was losing control, hope of stopping fading. He stopped all at once, immediately. Everything darkened and faded around him till he was back in the blackness. He heard footsteps, he knew who it was before he could even see her. The way she moved, it was distinct. He was sure he could not pick out any other human in a crowd by the way they walked or moved but sure as he was alive he could tell when Rei walked. The way she paused to turn or the timing of steps and how hard or soft they hit the ground. Rei appeared before him with her cunning blank stare. Her eyes showed no emotion and her face betrayed nothing. It was like looking at a picture in the most intricate detail. Rei looked deep into him.
"Thoughts." Was all she said but it did not sound like Rei. Shinji looked at her confused then realized it was just his mind playing tricks on him.
"Thoughts and emotions. Things that make up part of a person. Is this what you want me to dwell upon?" Shinji responded.
"Dwell upon? Interesting you use this choice of words. Why not reflect? Or take time to ponder?"
"It is not always for a person to asses everything about themselves in order to be able to live in thier life."
"What life do you have? You are controlled. You are caged. Everything is watched, observed, recorded and allowed. Your father controls you." Shinji grit his teeth.
"My father is a bastard who has no hold on me!"
"You do his bidding. You pilot the Eva for him."
"NO! I pilot the Eva to protect Rei."
"Why do you keep Rei in a place where she must be protected? Why not take Rei and leave? Leave the control of your father."
"I don't run away. I won't run away. When I am faced with something I must overcome I will use everything in my power to overcome it."
"What will you gain staying with you father as a pilot of Eva?"
"I won't gain anything. It's not about me. It's not about my fathers control. It's about others. Others I need to protect. There are millions out there that could die if I didn't fight the angels."
"Why do you fight the angels?" "I just said dammit! To protect people I love!"
"Why do the angels attack you?" Shinji stopped. He had never taken the time to consider why the angels attacked him. "Why must you question me this way? I don't know why the angels attack. It's not like I can go up and ask the angel why it's attacking me."
"Sarcasm. Why not know why you fight and why the fighter fights you?"
"It's not that easy to look into."
"Why not ask others?" Shinji stopped again.
"I need to be strong."
"You need to let others help you as others depend upon you." The voice became deep and dark and made him shudder as it boomed.
"DO NOT FORASKE YOUR LIFE PARTNER! IF YOU WISH TO SHARE LOVE WITH HER, FIGHT WITH HER, SUCH AS YOUR STRENTGH BY ITSELF IS NOTHING ALONE! YOU MUST TRUST HER TO BE AT YOUR SIDE AND FACE OBSTACLES TOGETHER!" The face suddenly changed and showed Rei's eyes in distress. Now the voice sounded like Rei's voice. "Shinji. Why wont you let me fight with you? I get so worried when you fight alone. It hurts my heart when you wont let me come. Why? Why can't I fight with you?" Rei's voice carried desperation, concern and confusion. Shinji choked and teared at her words.
"Because... Because I can't lose you. I have never loved anyone before. I have always been alone. I know what it's like. When I saw you I knew you were alone. I wanted to share my friendship with you. As we spent time I fell in love with you. If you fight beside me... I can't protect you the same." "If you love me. You will let me be with you Shinji. As you want to be by me side I wish to be by yours." Rei turned and began to walk away.
"If you cannot accept that... I see I am not wanted." She said as she faded into the blackness. "REI!" Shinji shouted at her form.
"Shinji, wake up!" Shinji awoke to see Rei shaking him. "I'm awake, i'm awake. What happened?" Shinji asked as Rei stopped shaking him.
"You were tossing in your sleep and then you yelled my name. I answered you and you didn't say anything. That's a horrible joke to play on someone." Shinji shook his head.
"It wasn't a a joke Rei. I had a bad dream. It kinda put me off."
"What was it about?" Rei asked still concerened.
"It's kind of long." Shinji delayed.
"It's the middle of the night. Time is in abundance." Rei argued. Shinji half smiled.
"I should know better then to not argue with you." Rei smiled back at him.
"I guess it was kind of like the last time I tried to explain when I was out. It was a place where I was debating in my mind. Only this time you were there."
"I see. What did this form of me say to cause you to call out my name?"
"You told me to let you fight with me by my side the next time an angel attacked. You said if I couldn't let you fight with me, you said you weren't wanted and walked away from me." Rei then hugged tight agaisn't him. Shinji blushed feeling her press closely to him.
"I wouldn't do that to you Shinji. I have come to be attached to you. Strongly I desire to have you with me. I would not leave you because you fight the angels." Shinji being close and feeling her pressed so close to him tried to struggle back just a bit.
"I love you too Rei, but uh, your kinda... exciting me so close like that." Shinji moved partially from her. Rei hugged back even tighter in response.
"Don't leave... This feels nice." As Shinji struggled Rei rubbed agaisn't him. Her seductive smile wasn't helping. Then Rei intertwined her legs with his.
"Uh Rei... This is getting too much for me..." Shinji said in a hoarse voice . Rei smiled still now rubbing purposely agaisn't him.
"You said you would show me more. You didn't take the initiative so now I am." Shinji felt Rei's hand move downwards.
"D-Don't Rei." Shinji warned, his barriers beginning to drop. Rei stopped rubbing and now wore a curious expression.
"Isn't this...?" Shinji was beat red as Rei asked.
"Please... Don't hold it like that..." His voice pleaded. His mind was going numb. Was he going to make love to Rei tonight? It didn't seem right but the pleasure was hitting him so bad it was more then unbearable.
"Why is it like that?" Rei asked looking into his eyes again.
"Please... Let go and I will tell why. This is going too fast." Rei relunctantly let go but didn't move back she stayed close waiting for Shinji to catch his breath and explain. After gulp fulls of air he explained. "That's known as sexual touching Rei. It excites both parties. The parties being you and me in this case. The more touching invovled the higher the potential for pleasure, eventually in tradition, leading to making love." Rei acknowledged his words.
"I see but it feels so good. Even being close to you right now I..." She trailed off and reached down through the covers. She looked back up at Shinji her brows together confused. "I am not dry in an area that usual remains dry." Shinji blushed even deeper.
"That's part of it. The woman becomes accepting and the man becomes cough..."
"Hard?" Rei continued for Shinji. Shinji swallowed.
"Yes. Hard." Rei looked down at the sheets for a moment lost in thought.
"What happens next then?"
"It doesn't. We need to stop here. This is dangerously close." Rei frowned.
"Close to what? Why would we stop? I don't want to stop doing this." Rei rubbed a little more. "Because..." Why was he trying to stop this? What was stopping him? Rei was willing. He had explained most of it. "Rei, doing this with me is something that can never be regained. It's called losing one's virginity. Worse yet, if you are capable of birth already you could end up with a child." "Your child." Rei corrected him.
"Yes, it would be 'our' child." Shinji corrected further. "But it's a serious thing. We are too young to take care of a baby Rei."
"Use the device Misato gave you. I assume the device is meant to stop child bearing."
"Well, yes... It is meant to protect you from getting pregnant." More ration was flying out the window. He felt so hot and so close.
"Tell me more, show me more. This is something we both want."
"But... but..." Rei gave a slightly frustrated sigh. "Tell me why not? What is making you stop?"
"It's something specail only lovers share. I want it to be a sign of love and not of an experiment." "Ikari Shinji. I love you and only you. It is not someone else I have come to love. It was not someone else that came to love me. This is not a request on my side. This is something both of us have and want. I am stating I want you to continue. Preferably the whole process, wether I learn new things or not does not make this an experiment. I realize the process I am consenting to. I understand what will happen. Now am I asking if you are willing, willing to make love to me." Rei paused and waited for Shinji.
"It could change the way things are Rei."
"Only for the better and only to bring us closer. I fail to see the negatives." Rationality had officially gone to zero. There was not a single more reason he could think to stop what was about to happen. "Don't people wait to marry first?" The last thing his mind could give. With this he was defeated. "With the attack of the angels and the proximity of the next impact. Marrige is far away and this is much closer. Marraige is about the exchanging of vows done publicly only as prove. If exchanging vows is what you desire before we can make love then I will exchange them now." That was it. Nothing left to stop him. Everything there to press him forward, well not in terms of physical proximety but in terms of making love. His mind had gone numb. He felt Rei's hand move again and gasped at her.
"Rei..."
"Shinji, my love." She responded back smiling. His mind swirled while other things swelled. It was more then he could ever possibly potentionally deal with all at once. Rei was pressed agains't him. Her soft flesh gently swaying to and fro agaisn't him. He could feel the rise and fall of her breathing as it caused her chest to move more tight agaisn't him and then slack slightly. He felt like reaching his arms out so much to hug her, hold her close. Before he knew it he moved his arms around her.
"Rei... I feel very light headed... I want, I want to kiss you..." Rei leaned forward before he could and locked her lips with his. Everything became a spin and a swirl.
"Mmmmm." He thought he heard emitt from Rei's move and then felt her tounge slow and hesitant at first, enter his mouth and poke his tounge. He found himself playing back extending his tounge to hers. They touched and played, twirling and swirling. He repositioned himself so he was turned right to her and began to become involved with the kisses that could only be a gift from heaven.
Everything around him became a haze, there was Rei and then blackness, all the worries and pains of his past faded away and were swept off to somewhere he didn't care to know any longer. He felt the soft subtle touch of them, the smooth contrast and gradient that brushed and pressed agiasn't his lips. Desiring kisses that only heightened more and more. Less time for air and more time for kisses with every passing one. His hands began to caress her back gently coming up to her shoulder blades as she arched her back and then gliding back down with his fingertips to her hips and then rubbing and massanging gently yet playfully. Rei began to drag her finger tips down his chest not quite using her nails, dragging them just to his abdomen and then a sudden jolt shocked through him causing his whole body to freeze up and shake in pleasure.
With his last bit of resolve he finished the kiss and pulled back, stopped moving his hands and kept them wrapped around her. Rei stopped draging her hands and stared at him with a confusing look.
"But... Why...?" Oh god, he wanted to answer but his lips couldn't work, his mouth was frozen shut.
"Shinji,..." Rei trailed lost in thought in how to say what she wanted to say. Shinji immediately hated himself at that exact moment. The look that Rei gave him when he stopped her was enough to make him crawl into a ball and die. Finally his mouth worked again.
"Not, yet Rei... Just, not yet..." His mouth through great effort managed out. Rei looked at him again with her engaging eyes and he near shut down all together.
"I... I see..." There was a moment of pause and Rei's eyes searched back and forth as if she was looking for something in her mind. "Then this is not over Shinji. You must decide when this will continue. We have gone past the point of no return, nor will I allow you to go back"
'Go back'? Was he going back? Was he running away after everything he swore agaisn't. He saw a picture of his father laughing at him with that bastard grin. Resolve took him over and he found himself in control again.
"You're right Rei, this looks like I am going back. This is something we want. You will lose something you can never gain back, that is your virginity"
Rei's eyes pentrated like nothing before.
"Such a small thing to lose to gain so much. I have never before experienced things like this. I will wait but only for a time"
Shinji wrapped his arms tighter around Rei and held her close. Nothing more was said, and even though they didn't bond as intended he felt they bonded something much more then he could have ever hoped to experience.
Asuka woke up. She looked around her room. Even though she was asleep just a second she was sure her mined hadn't slept at all. She rolled over and put her arm atop of her forehead. She sighed inwardly to herself. Nothing seemed to be going the way she wanted things to. She thought about her roomates. There was Misato, she knew Misato was a good person, the ones that boggled her were Shinji and Rei. So far they had managed to catch her off gaurd in every way she could think. Before she had thoughten her pride was at risk but at this point she felt it was beyond that. Her face still blushed from the last encouter she had with Shinji and Rei. It made her flare with anger at times to think how that had happened she couldn't even begin to reprimind herself enough for her mistake. In all of this it made her want to fight to better herself though. Somehow she would get her chance and when she did she would laugh in Rei's face and then stand in front of Shinji and he would bow and apologize to her. She was the one in control that little wormed just managed to squirm in the right ways to get out of trouble it seemed. Knock Knock Yes, she would get her oppurtunity and come out flashing with confidence and grace beyond what any other girl could ever know. KNOCK KNOCK There was nothing that could stop her, her mind was already starting to fill with how to overcome all the things that happened. She then stopped a second and thought that there was some hope to use Shinji. He did offer freindship and to show her around. He could be her ticket for becoming a status symbol. Her sigh suddenly turned into a grin. That Rei girl was a nuisance, she wasn't so much concerned that she was always hanging off Shinji it made her sick to her stomach sometimes but it wasn't anything she was losing thoughts over. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
"ASUKA!" A voice came from the door, the sounds were starting to bother her, who on earth thought they had the right to disturb her? She grumbled and got up and opened the door.
"What? What is so possibly important? A girl needs her beauty sleep you know!" Asuka asked like a queen being summoned from her throne. Misato stood impatiently tapping her foot.
"Well you HIGHness, knocking on your door seemed to not aquire your attention so a little VOLUME I felt was in order." Asuka flushed slightly.
"Oh, it's you Misato. What's up with you?" Misato rolled her eyes. We need to head down to NERV there's new information about an angel. Oh, by the way, can you go get the other two pilots"
This was it, her chance! She thanked the higher powers in her head silently.
"Right. I have it under control. I'll get things ready"
"Just wake the other two. K, thanks there ya go!" Misato patted Asuka's back sending her down the hall and went to get her toast before going to the veichle.
Asuka grinned inwardly and outwardly in unision. Finally! This was where things turned around. First step, get pilots. Second... Mien Gott! The pilots, that meant those festering love diseases. She turned 180 degrees in the hall to a skidding stop. Then she spun around again. She had to wake them up, how could she let something so small stop her already? Grumbling she clutched the door handle. There was a small pause, what if... they were... doing ... things couple's do. It grossed her out, but wait! If she walked in on them she would be the pervert again! There was not a snowballs chance in hell that was happening. There should have never been a first time, let alone an oppurtunity for lightning to strike twice.
"You guys better not be doing anything perverted!" She barged in the room with a hand over her eyes. Slowly dreading every second she let her fingers seperate. There was a rather annoyed Rei staring clutched in Shinji's arms. Shinji was still asleep.
"There are little words to describe how loud one's voice can become when they desire. I have many ways to assoicate a good refference to them but your voice is something my vocabulary falls short of. I belive some might say you could wake the dead. I cannot fathom how Shinji managed to not hear other then the desire to not have such a shrill wake him up. What is your buissness with me or Shinji and why in this context when we were together?" Rei let Asuka have a mouthfull.
Asuka at first blinked having so much come from the usually quiet girl all at once and then blushed slightly when her mind registered the words 'Were together'. "Geez, you guys were doing that kind of stuff under the same roof I sleep under!" Rei calm demeanor was beginning to vanish. "If you wish to know so much allow me to educate you." A small smirk emitted from her lips. Asuka immediately regretted her words and dreaded every word that was to follow.
"Shinji and me slept in the same bed in a loving warm caring embrace. Some of things I wonder if you are aqquainted with." Asuka breathed an inward sigh of relief. Part of her was dissapointed still not being to call them perverts.
"A-anyways, there's news about a new angel so we have been summoned to NERV. So stop being lazy and get up so we can go"
"Thank you for your information Asuka. You can now leave unless you are hoping to see more of either me or Shinji in our current state." Rei still wore a tight smirk. Asuka's face flushed slightly more.
"The hell would 'I' want to see 'that'! I'm leaving!" Asuka fled quickly slamming the door. Shinji opened his eyes. "I don't think I could have slept through that if I had all the resolve in the world." Rei blinked and smiled. "You prenteded to be asleep just so you wouldn't have to talk to her!" Rei found a slight amount of surprise in her voice. Shinji leaned forward and kissed her lips.
"Yes, forgive me?" Rei giggled lightly. She kissed back.
"Forgiven." She smiled inwardly too, Shinji had tricked her. It excited her that she was tricked like that. Instead of being upset or angry it just made her want to challenge him back, and forth. Like, ... a game. Was that it? Was some of the things between them a game? Somehow they intrigued her. As always before Shinji always found ways to make Rei want him more and she hoped it never stopped. She really was falling in love with Shinji.
"Let's go Shinji"
"Yes, together let's go Rei." Rei blinked. "Ofcourse together Shinji." She smiled. Shinji smiled back.
"Yes, of course you're right Rei." Rei looked down. Her eyes went wide.
"Shinji your... manhood is stil active are you sure you don't want to continue?" Shinji blushed furiously.
"To NERV, um, Misato won't wait long for us." Shinji immediately went to changing. Rei at that moment decided she would test a theory about her and Shinji's reactions. A game, an innocent game she could play out of love for Shinji. She grinned a bit different then normal and felt her cheeks blush slightly. Shinji looked up a second at Rei and seemed to see her smile but was still thrown off from blushing, and unware.
Note: This took a long time to complete because I basically went on with other things in my life at that point. Currently I felt Shinji and Rei should not have what might have happened happen. I might write a lemon but it won't be for Fanfiction as i'm sure I would die under flames and have my story re-considered. Thank you everyone for your patience. There will be more chapters to come yet soon :) Note this chapter is not completed and will have a part two :)