Disclaimer: One Piece is copyright Oda Echiro and Toei. I don't own these characters, and I'm not worthy of borrowing them.
Childhood Memories
CHAPTER TWO
Zoro: It's Not Easy Being Green
Green.
There are many things in the world that are green. Grass is green, leaves are green, algae is green, mold is green, icky rotting things are sometimes green... let's just say there's a whole lot of things that are green.
Somewhere in one of the four blues, there's an island called Green Isle, named for... being green. The founders had sucky imaginations.
On this island is a kid named Zoro Roronoa. He knows the color green very well because it's on his head.
No, a small green squirrel did not crawl on top of his head and try to make a nest. Although one had tried once, and it had paid dearly with its life!
See, Zoro's hair was green; naturally green. No other kid but the cross-eyed boy with pink hair was an easier target for taunting. You would think they would have caught a clue by now but no... every other day the kids came, throwing insults around like paper ninja stars. How many times did he have to beat their heads into the ground before they caught a clue? If they got brain damage and lost the ability to tie their shoes or something, Zoro totally wasn't taking the blame.
Things couldn't continue like this. The next time he saw them, he'd have to end it once and for all.
Little Zoro walked through the woods near his home. The sun trickled down through the leaves overhead, creating dazzling patterns on the ground. Birds sung their happy little songs. The wildflowers growing on each side of the path rustled softly when the wind blew.
Which Zoro totally didn't notice, because only a wussy girly man would notice something like that!
Zoro was on his way to drink a bottle of sake he'd "found" in his house. Manly men he'd seen at the local pub could drink an entire case of the stuff. So of course, he was going to be able to drink a dozen cases! But, he only had one bottle right now so it was going to have to do.
Suddenly, the forest was silent. Zoro stopped in his tracks; his battle senses alert.
With a woosh, the village kids jumped out of the bushes. They were ten strong. Their leader, a man nearly twelve years old, stepped forward. The leader glared making his V-eyebrow crinkle like a furry snake. His cronies stayed behind, trying to look intimidating. Zoro felt a bead of sweat roll down his neck. A twelve year old! This was a serious fight!
The annoying village kids circled around him. Their stupid little snickers drove him crazy. If he could just knock a couple of their teeth out, he'd feel so much better. Unfortunately, his mom had told him not to lay a hand on any of the kids again, because if he ruined another pair of pants, he'd have to wear some old hand-me downs tied with a rope.
Not that he cared what his mom thought; no way! Letting your mother push you around was not the way of the manly man!
The V-eyebrow kid grinned maliciously and opened his mouth to deliver an insult that was worse than getting stabbed to death with a kitchen knife, worse than going to jail, worse than eating broccoli, worse than any possible torture known to man...
"Ha ha! Zoro is a green doody head!"
Zoro gasped.
He'd... he'd said it! How DARE HE! This could only mean one thing!
"So? You want a fight to the death eh!" Bring on the ugly pants! He didn't care!
"Uh..." V-eyebrow kid's smirk wavered for a moment as he saw the green haired kid shake with rage and determination.
"What's wrong? Afraid?" Zoro grinned evilly.
"NO! I just am shocked that you dare to challenge us uh... Frog Man!" V-eyebrow boy pointed dramatically at the sky. "You don't know the power I hold!" The kid paused dramatically. "I have... THREE firecrackers in my pocket!"
His cronies gasped.
An idea suddenly came to Zoro. He could still keep his promise if he didn't use his hands...
Zoro grabbed two long sticks from the ground and held them in a cool looking sword stance that he made up on the spot. The stance felt right, like he really was some ultimate sword fighter. Zoro's grip tightened on his mighty pointed sticks. The stakes had just been raised, but he wasn't gonna back down!
"Ha!" Zoro smirked. "It will take you a hundred years to defeat me!"
The kids looked unconvinced.
Seeing that wasn't enough, he added, "Even if you had... EIGHT firecrackers in your pocket!"
The kids gasped, impressed.
"Y-yeah! Uh, well... you're... you're... a green doody head!" V-eyebrow kid's face flushed. He pointed at Zoro, his finger shaking in rage. "Get him men!"
The assorted band of "men" attacked in a flurry of sneakers.
It was over in less than a minute.
Zoro stood over the unconscious bodies of his attackers, barely winded. Shock coursed through his body. He couldn't believe it. That had been... EASY. All of the previous times he had beaten them up, he had to really work at it and took some bumps and bruises of his own.
The pointed sticks clattered to the ground. One phrase beat its way through his dazed mind, and repeated itself endlessly like a broken record.
HE WAS THE MAN!
No! He was more than the man, he was the man that told the first man when to jump! And then the first man would be like, 'How high sir!'.
Zoro paused a moment to laugh manically.
Yeah! He was a badass! No one was ever going to mess with him again! He was a natural. He could go to every dojo on the island and take their sign posts like all the cool warriors did!
Zoro nodded to himself and hopped over the unconscious kids' bodies. Yep, now was the time to finally leave home. This proved that he was a man now and his skills had evolved far past anything in the village. Yes, he would blaze a new trail on the road, fighting challenges wherever he met them!
He continued for a few more minutes until he reached his home. It wasn't much, just a decent sized cottage. His mom was taking a nap on a hammock in the front yard. He approached loudly, humming how much he was "THE MAN" to himself.
He stopped in front of the hammock where his mom was snoring loudly. Her clothing and hair were rumpled beyond comprehension. A long strand of emerald hair lay across her face and rose and fell with her breathing.
"Mom!" Zoro paused. What was he doing? Manly men don't go around calling their mothers "mom".
"Mrs. Roronoa!" Yep, that was the way manly men addressed their mommies. "I'm leaving town to become an ultimate swordsman!"
Zoro waited for her to start to beg for him to stay. He would be strong though, he'd look her in the eye and say: 'Mo--err Mrs. Roronoa! I can't stay no matter how much you may need me! I must leave to fulfill my dream! Farewell!' He readied himself for her reaction.
Zoro's mom snored some more.
"MOM! WAKE UP!" Zoro growled to himself, forgetting his "Mrs. Roronoa" rule.
He pushed the hammock hard.
She snored louder.
He pushed the hammock hard enough to make it flip all the way around.
She giggled in her sleep.
"DAMN IT MOM! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" He continued this for five minutes straight, until finally...
"Ah, so noisy." Zoro's mom yawned and slowly opened her eyes, instantly awake. She raised an emerald eyebrow at her son. "What's wrong kid? Didn't get your leg bit off or anything did ja?"
Zoro scowled. "No! I'm running off to become an ultimate swordsman! And there's nothing you can do about it!"
"Well okay." Mrs. Roronoa stretched back out on the hammock. "But without any training, you wouldn't even be able to defeat the kids at the Two Swords Dojo."
"No way woman! I'm the man!"
Mrs. Roronoa smacked her son on the back of the head lightly. "Don't talk to your mother that way."
"Ouch..." Zoro looked around. He needed to tell at least one more person before he left on his long journey. "Where's dad?"
Mrs. Roronoa grinned evilly. "I ate him!"
"...no you didn't."
Mrs. Roronoa shrugged. "Eh, I don't know where your father is."
Somewhere in a jungle far far away...
"Where the hell am I now?"
"Oh well." Mrs. Roronoa yawned and went back to sleep.
Wouldn't be able to defeat the kids at the Two Swords Dojo eh? He'd show her. He'd go up there, defeat the dojo master and take their sign post. Then everyone would go: 'Oooooh! Look how strrrong Zoro is! We never ever shoulda messed with him!'
"Oh, this is where my sake went." Mrs. Roronoa swiped it and then went back to sleep, cradling the bottle.
Zoro tried for a few moments to get it out of his mom's vice-like grip, then gave up and headed for the Two Swords Dojo.
A half an hour later, Zoro stood on a hill overlooking the dojo. He grinned around the stick he had been chewing on. Those wusses wouldn't know what hit them!
10 minutes later...
Zoro lay with his face embedded in the dojo floor, his body aching from multiple beatings from a kendo stick.
He... he... HE WASN'T THE MAN?
He looked up slowly and stared at the victor. He couldn't believe it. It defied logic and the workings of the universe. He had been beaten... by a girl!
He stared into eyes just as determined as his own. He would train and beat her! It wouldn't be easy... But maybe, Zoro reasoned, victory would mean more if it WASN'T easy? He wasn't afraid of a little hard work! He could train just as hard as some girl!
He stood up, determined. All thoughts of green jokes forgotten.
"This ain't over! I'm gonna train and beat you!"
Kuina looked over her shoulder as she walked out of the dojo. "I won't be beaten by some moldy haired boy."
Or not forgotten...
Years later, On the Going Merry...
Zoro awoke with a yawn, instantly alert. Naps were great. He had the weirdest dream though, something about Luffy telling everyone One Piece was on an island made out of beef jerky?
Oh well.
He glanced over his shoulder and saw the crew were already eating dinner.
Damn it! Why didn't anyone wake him? By now, Luffy had probably eaten his share!
"Hey! Did you hear me green shit head?" Sanji called from the table where he was serving out the food. "Dinner's ready!" Sanji paused. "But since you weren't waking up, Luffy and Usop thought you were dead so they ate your share." He turned to Nami, with a wine glass in his hand. "Here you go Nami saaaaaaaaaaaan!"
Veins popped out on Zoro's head.
"He lies! He lies!" Usop waved his hands in the air frantically and at the same time tried to conceal a large gravy stain on his clothes.
Zoro's expression turned less than serene. In other words... only slightly more of a scowl than usual.
"Heh heh. Only kidding green-shit head." Sanji sat another plate down.
Zoro sighed and walked over to eat.
It's not easy being green.
Eh, I indulged a bit and created a mom for Zoro. ;; Hope it wasn't too annoying. Who knows if he has one or not. He's probably an orphan or something.
Contact Info:
website:www'dot'geocities'dot com'backslash'ashez2ashes'backslash
email:ashez2ashes'at'yahoo'dot com
Next chapter: The adventures of little Usop! Which will have vampires, werewolves, aliens, purple sea monkeys who play chess, and God himself will show up!
...Or not.