disclaimer: The characters are Marvel's, except for the unnamed main character.

Fantasies and Nightmares
by Dizi

It started out as a beautifully erotic dream.

I'm not sure when I knew it was more than a dream, but it turned into a nightmare.

He looked into my mind and saw all my fantasies, my private sexual fantasies, and started playing to them. When I opened my eyes I did not see him but the one I had dreamed of for so long. I saw yellow eyes instead of blue. I saw the strong lithe body of an acrobat instead of the body of a stranger. He even somehow made me see my dream man's tail.

There is a man I have dreamed of since I first saw him. He does not even know my name. I would never presume to tell him. He is a superhero, though the world knows him as a terrorist. I have been told there are people who are scared of him when they meet him, but I have always found him fascinating. He centers in all my erotic fantasies.

I dreamed of him the first night I met him. Though 'met' is a strong word. I'm a waitress and I served him a drink. Though the sound of his voice sent shivers of want down my spine, he never even spoke to me, one of his friends placed the order.

When his friends would come in, I would listen for them to speak of him. For just the smallest mention of his name, I made myself a pest, and with these people that's really not very smart.

I'm not worried. I was never scared of mutants. No, my problem has always been that I am drawn to them. Or is it them to me? Perhaps the tests they have are wrong and I am some kind of mutant, one able to draw other mutants to me. I hope not. I only know that they have been in my life in one form or another since I was six.

My best friend from the age of six was murdered in front of me because she was a mutant, a telepath. We were both thirteen. My parents were horrified by my choice of friends and sent me away to a boarding school that was just short of a juvenial detention center.

While there, I was attacked because they said I was trash for having had a mutant for a friend. The normal humans around me just watched. It didn't matter to them that I was a fourteen-year-old child. It was another mutant that saved me, though the damage had been done.

The same mutant help me run away before it happened again. Which made me homeless.

Do you know many of the homeless are mutants? I didn't. They helped me alot. If it wasn't for homeless mutants I would have died living on the streets. Because of them, I survived for three years. It was even one of them that pointed me in the direction of my job, because they said I couldn't take care of myself since I had no mutant abilities to trade on. I was almost eighteen and not legal to work in a bar, but they fixed that for me too, because they knew I needed a job to get out. The job where I serve drinks to a group of mutant superheroes regularly.

Obviously, mutants had never been my problem.

Perhaps because of having had a telepath for a friend, I am sensitive to having someone in my mind. I knew at some point that I was not dreaming, that someone was putting thoughts, images, feelings in my head. I just didn't have the ability to stop it.

I never saw him clearly because all I saw, all I felt was what he wanted me to see, to feel. My mouth smiled because he wanted it to. My body moved with his the way he wanted.

I touched him with my hands, lips, body and felt him touch me. I felt cries of pleasure leave my lips and in the far reaches, corners, of my mind I was screaming. It was there I begged him to stop, while hearing my own voice ask him to touch me.

I called a name but I know not what name it was. I do not know what all I did to him or he to me. I know I was violated in every way it is possible to be. By my own fantasies, my own dreams, and a complete stranger. I may never know what he looks like, never know his name.

I know at some point he became angry with me. That's when he perverted my dreams and made them the worst kind of nightmares.

He raped me with the image of my fantasies still wrapped around him. When he started hitting me, I saw a three fingered hand, though afterwards the bruises proved he had five. He bit me and I saw a fanged mouth, but the bite marks left behind were those of normal teeth. The voice I heard yelling obscenities had a german accent, but the neighbors who called the police heard him clearly and did not notice an accent of any sort.

I am in counseling now with a man named Charles Xavier, another telepath. He is trying to get past the forced images to the real man, but fears he cannot. He is honest with me about that. He says he believes he may be able to get enough from my mind to get a psychic pattern which would be used to trace him. I can only hope he does, because I need to know what he looks like.

You see, I still have dreams and fantasies about him, my dream man. I still go to sleep at night and see his face, call his name. But now that same face is in my nightmares as well. I never know which it is until I wake up either hot, with my body wanting his like it always has, or cold, screaming his name and begging him to stop.

Did I call him to me? I hope not. If I had such abilities, why could I not have the one I wanted? Why did the monster choose me, out of all women?

I hope they find him. I need to put a real face to my fear.

I have never before feared mutants. Now I both fear and crave the same one.

Both fantasies and nightmares, each with the same name, the same face.

note:
B Oots- No worries, basically he moved to life as normal.
Elizabeth Robbins- Little scary isn't it? But I figure they started her out on an older computer.
Jinkeh- Actually will reference that one in the sequel, watch for it. Like the idea of Scott being more than he seems. You might check out 'No Place Like Home' if you like the idea of Sabes being a little different, though there's a reason for it in that one.
S- I'm on chapter 5 now! It's coming, but I want to have it DONE before I post any of it.
GothikStrawberry- Guess you found it, huh? Don't worry there's a reason for his change and it's coming, I didn't just make him different out of the blue.
CaptainTish- Well, I've kinda established Jenny as a cleaning freak, but it's kinda a universal reaction in this case. Hopefully, someone will help her ease up a bit (just a teaser).
SabeyBaby- I hope you like this one, but more fun and Jenny mayhem will be in the sequel. It starts off with a blast.

origingal note: I am not sure where this came from. Don't ask. I sat down to write a W&J story and this is what happened. At this point, this is a one shot and I do not intend to take it futher. But then I didn't intend to write this when I started either. It happened and I think it turned out well. Tell me what you think.

Little different isn't it? This was what I originally intended for Jenny to become and so I am putting it here. This is the original form and I'm actually pretty proud of it. I'm glad I went in another direction but this is still a favorite of mine. Jenny and Nighcrawler were going to meet and become lovers through Charles introducing them to attempt to get her over her fears by meeting the real Kurt. He would have come to admire her and that would have been that. But it wasn't meant to be this way. For those fond of AU, you can imagine this is what could have been in an alternate Jenny-verse.

Thanks as always for reading and the support,
Dizi