Obi-Wan wasn't exactly honest. Training, at any level, is a full time job. Your Padawan became like your child. He could have trained her whenever he wanted to, he just didn't want to, yet, it was more like he wasn't ready. He just needed to prep himself. It had been a long time since he had a Padawan learner, and his last did not end so well.
Obi-Wan walked into the room he had given the girl. She had indeed cleaned it up. All of the lightsaber parts and crystals were in a neat pile beside a workbench. Most of the junk was gone, and it was junk. He had wanted to do this for some time, he just never did. He was impressed. His focus then turned to the shelf and what was on it, Anakin's lightsaber. He kept it to give to Anakin's son, Luke. It had gotten lost in all of the mess, maybe purposely. Obi-Wan ran his fingers down it and smiled to himself. Anakin was everything he was supposed to be, and so much more. He still looked at him as his own son. Next to that he saw the green crystal. That green crystal was the crystal from his former Master's lightsaber, Qui-Gon Jinn's lightsaber, his Master and mentor. He took it from the lightsaber after he used it to defeat Darth Maul.
Both were very important to him. He hoped Luke would become everything Anakin didn't. Anakin wanted his son to have it, learn the ways of the Jedi. Maybe Luke was a second chosen one, chosen to end Darth Vader's reign. But, more of an informal chosen one, he was the only one.
This upset Obi-Wan, a little, knowing his part in the destructions of Darth Vader would be slightly minimal. As much as he wanted to bring down his former apprentice he knew it would be past him. That made him lose sleep at night, among many other things.
He noticed the girl sleeping on the floor. He felt bad that he hadn't had anything else to give her. He took his long robe off and laid it on her for a blanket. He squatted down and looked at her. She was a peace and very calm, unlike he was feeling. He was on edge and jumpy.
He sat there for awhile, looking at her trying to get a feel for her. He felt that she was something special. The feeling he got from her was similar to the feeling he got from Anakin, a strong ability and Force adaptation. But, unlike Anakin, Obi-Wan didn't feel a threat. He did feel some wild, untamed feeling, like Anakin, but no threat.
Obi-Wan soon realized the similarities between his alleged new Padawan and his former were quite remarkable, upon first sense of course. The sheer passion of learning, about the Force, about anything, but that raw passion to grasp all that can be learned. He sense a strong power, they had a true purpose in the Order. All of the positive traits Anakin had, in some way, this girl had them too, strength, ability, aptitude, desire.
He did not sense the uncertainty and danger he sensed with Anakin. His fears should disappear, but, he still could not help but feel frightened, feel the tension he did feel with Anakin. He could not help it.
The girl began to wake up. Obi-Wan jumped up so he wouldn't be seen looking at her. He quickly went to the window and looked out on a clear and beautiful night. When he heard the girl get up, he turned around and saw her.
"I did not mean to disturb you," he said. "I am sorry, I wanted to see what you had done, and I must say, I like it."
"You have room now for new junk," she smiled.
"I am glad that you found certain things amongst the junk," Obi-Wan told her, meaning the lightsaber and the crystal. "Things I have tried to forget, but could never."
"I figured as much," she said. "One I am not sure of, but the other, I know how you must feel about that, well, I can only assume. To be tossed aside did not do it's justice. Despite everything, he was a remarkable Jedi, and even thought he has become what he has become, we can't forget what he was."
Obi-Wan nodded.
"I have done much to try, but, I know that I never will. Anakin was like a son to me and such bonds don't go away so easily."
"A Force bond, you mean?" Allura asked.
Obi-Wan looked at her, surprised at the implication.
"It's such a special bond, many Master/Apprentice relationships never reach such a strong level, but it happens. Force bonds are rare and honored. You feel their pain, their emotions. When they die, part of you dies, and when they fall, part of you falls. You can't explain what it feels like, but you feel it."
She looked at Obi-Wan. His eyes opened up to her and she could sense all of his pain, in a way she wasn't able to when she first looked into them. Her heart began to fill with pain, hurt, hate, and she soon began to become overwhelmed, tears filled her eyes.
"You did love him," she said. "Now I sense all that you are feeling, and I cannot bare it."
"I have carried this pain for five years," Obi-Wan replied. "My punishment for allowing what happened to happen."
He walked up to the girl and placed his hand on her face and wiped her tears away. He had believed this to be his punishment, a self punishment. His feelings and emotions would be forever bound to him and he would live with them for the rest of his life. And now, this poor girl has tapped into them, and pain has spilt into an undeserving heart.
"Perhaps Anakin and I did share such a bond," Obi-Wan said. "I had never felt such a presence in my life until I became his Master. I had looked up to my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn was an amazing Jedi, but Anakin was something else. I sensed everything about him, knew more about him than anyone. I defended him when all other members on the Council did not agree. And, when he fell, I fell too. I felt a part of me overcome with shadow. You are right, I cannot explain what it felt like, but I felt it, I still feel it. I feel as if a part of me is missing."
Obi-Wan quickly stopped talking. He realized that he was giving way too much information out to a girl he did not know. He had become more reclusive since Anakin's betrayal. Giving out any information was too much, and he felt he had said enough already.
"I think we should call this a night," he said. "Tomorrow we have a lot of work to do."
"Why do I sense that you still do not trust me?" Allura asked.
"No more conversations for tonight," Obi-Wan said, almost begging. "We have a lot to tend to in the morning, and I hate cranky Padawans."
"Well then, good night Master Kenobi, I shall see you in the morning," Allura replied.
Obi-Wan nodded and left the room. He sighed to himself as he entered his room. He threw his tunic on the floor. He stripped down and picked up a pair of tweed pants that laid on his bed. He pulled them up and climbed into his bed. But sleep didn't come to him quickly, it never did, if it came at all. It was always sleeplessness spotted with very few chances of sleep.
Obi-Wan couldn't stop the events that happened between Anakin and himself play out in his head. He felt himself toss and turn about in his bed in a state between sleeping and being awake. His eyes were open, but it felt as if he were dreaming. His body grew even more tense when the face of Anakin transformed into the face of Allura. Sweat began to form on his brow and drip down his face.
His vision shot him out of bed. He ran his hand through his hair and got out of the bed. He walked to Allura's room and peeked in, fast asleep. He became jealous. He began to think that she couldn't be evil, be part of the dark side, or fall to the dark side. He sensed her, all of her, and though the dark side is deceiving and clouds the mind, he was sure that his head was clear and the Force was leading him in the right direction.
Then why? He believed the Force, despite everything, he believed the Force to be true, always. The Force never lied and never faulted, the Jedi Code maybe, but never the Force. If he believed the Force to be true, then why was he still nervous about this girl? The Force told him about Anakin being dangerous, he sensed a threat. But not now, the Force showed no dangers.