tsume.hack: who did the disclaimer last time?
All: (shrug)
tsume.hack: sigh . . . I guess I'll do it myself, then . . . I don't own Wolf's Rain or the characters contained within it. But I wishI did.
All: (snickering)
tsume.hack: you guys really need to stop picking on me . . .
Oh, thanks to all who read the last chapters. Sorry about the delay in updates . . . um, I had finals and a pile of homework to do. End of the quarter, and my Typography teacher thinks it'd be fun to give his students what he thinks is an easy final assignment, but seeing as Typography is the class from hell . . . well, I'll spare you all the gory details. I'm done with that class, thank God, but I'm going to be busy all next week. . . But I'll try to post stuff a lot sooner . . . (silence) Or is it just me typing to myself? (singing) ". . . Am I alone? Is somebody there beyond these heavy aching feet . . ." (dodges soup cans and rotten tomatoes) Argh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to rupture your eardrums! Ah, anyway, on to the story, I've tortured you enough with my senseless paragraph of nonsense...;;
The four wolves walked along Main Street, with Kiba in front, Toboe and Hige in the middle, and Tsume pulling up the rear as always. It was just like old times, only they were all humans and didn't have to hide from anybody anymore. Which, of course, no one minded too much, except Kiba. He was evidently still skeptical about being a human.
But while he was with his pack, he didn't have too much time to think about it; Hige kept elbowing Toboe and laughing about it; Toboe was complaining loudly, and Tsume was telling Porky to knock it off.
Toboe finally ran to catch up to Kiba, saying over his shoulder, " I'm gonna walk with Kiba; at least he won't push me around like you, Hige."
Hige only shrugged and said carelessly, " Whatever, runt."
They passed sidewalk cafes and stores selling flowers and gifts, PC lounges and karaoke clubs, noodle shops and booksellers. They paused to gaze in the window of a pet store, marveling at the exotic fish in the huge tank, until Hige remarked that they looked rather yummy, and asked the owner how much he was selling them for and what the best way to cook them was . . . and then they had to leave. The irate shopkeeper chased them out of his store brandishing a mop and threatening to wipe them from the face of the planet . . . ha, wipe, get it? Anyway . . .
" Wrinkled old fart," Hige said, nodding his head wisely as they continued down the street. " What a jerk. He couldn't even take a joke."
" Don't lie, we know you wanted to eat those fish, you walking stomach," Toboe said, poking the aforementioned body part on Hige's anatomy, prompting a " Hey! No touchie!" and a reproachful glare. Tsume, walking behind them, snickered in amusement. Hige turned to glare at him.
" You've got a bottomless pit for a stomach too, leather boy, so don't laugh at me and mine."
Tsume yawned, ignoring the death ray eyes, and called to Kiba, " So, where to now?"
Kiba was about to answer, but suddenly Toboe raced ahead and pointed excitedly,
" Hey, look over there, you guys!" He waved his arm, indicating a neon-lit building boasting enough voltage to power a small city. " Look! It's an arcade! Let's go see!"
The pup took off running. Hige looked at Kiba, who shrugged wordlessly and followed. Tsume sighed and followed as well, thumbs still hooked in his pockets.
When they got to the arcade Toboe raced inside and scurried from game to game, unable to decide which to play first. The others followed at a more leisurely pace.
" Hey, cool, look at this," Hige said, hefting a huge hunting rifle, part of a deer-hunting simulator. " Look at me, I'm Quent."
Tsume pushed past him. " Not funny, Porky."
" Well, sor-ry. I thought a couple hundred years would've settled any grudges you had against the guy, but I guess I was wrong." Hige tossed the rifle back, and caught up to Tsume just as he was passing a row of racing games.
Tsume halted, and Hige collided with him, mashing his nose against the leather-bound back of his packmate.
" Ow!" he yelped, holding his nose gingerly, " Don' stob lige da!" Translation: Don't stop like that. He squinted, trying to see the extent of the damage, but Tsume wasn't paying attention.
" Cool . . . street racing," he grinned, ignoring his friend's injuries, and with that he plonked himself down on the molded plastic seat to lose himself in the joys of Gran Turismo 4.
" Urgh . . . everyone's gone crazy," Hige muttered as he left the racing aisle to find Kiba and Toboe.
But he wasn't looking as he rounded a corner and bumped rather forcefully into Kiba's head, smashing his nose a second time and bringing tears of pain to his eyes. Kiba, whose hard head was on the same level as his stubbornness, simply looked back in mild interest before resuming his prior diversion of watching Toboe playing a lively round of Dance Dance Revolution. Hige joined him, eyes still watering.
When his score flashed after three rounds, Toboe danced on the platform, yelling,
" Yeah, all right! Betcha can't beat that! Woo-hoo!"
" Oh yeah?" Hige said, coming up to join him on the second platform. He had recovered from getting his nose rearranged twice, and was ready for some action. " Let's do this, runt. I'm gonna beat you so bad, you'll run home crying."
" Yeah, right. Betcha I'll win you by a good thousand points."
" No dice. I'll flatten you."
" I don't think so."
" Fine, then, smartie. Three out of five. We'll bet on it. Loser does whatever the winner says," Hige extended his hand, daring Toboe to take him up on it.
Toboe took the proffered hand and shook it with a grin. " Your funeral, Hige."
" Whatever. This game was over before it started."
Toboe stopped, and looked sheepish. " I don't have any money," he explained, trying to look and sound as cute as possible. " Kiba lent me some, but I used it all already."
Hige sighed and fished a couple of bucks from his pocket.
A moment later the announcer blared, " Let's D-D-R! Give it your best!"
Toboe grinned at Hige. " Are you ready for this?"
" Bring it on, ya pup," came the reply.
Kiba leaned against a handy pinball machine and watched with well-concealed glee.
The music began, and the battle started . . .
Tsume gave the wheel a spin and added his name to the High Scores list. He'd have to come back another day and claim the number one spot, but still, second place wasn't too bad. He got up, stretched, and went to find the others. After getting himself a soda from the machine, he resumed the search, wandering between the blinking, beeping, and clamoring machines.
He was in the middle of taking a drink from his soda when he happened upon them, and the most amusing of sights met his eyes.
Toboe was doing his victory dance again (for the umpteenth time) while a gasping Hige clung to one of the handlebars, his white T-shirt soaked in sweat and sticking to his back. His sweatshirt was thrown in a heap on a Pac-Man game, evidently tossed away in the heat of battle.
" So, Porky got himself in over his head, did he?" Tsume asked the silently observing Kiba, who nodded wordlessly but was smirking to himself all the same.
" How about seven out of ten?" Hige panted, pulling himself to his feet. His hair was soaked dark with perspiration, while Toboe, though a little out of breath, seemed to have suffered no loss of energy over the course of the game. His antics on the platform spoke volumes.
" No way, I won!" the pup beamed. " You got beat bad, admit it! Whee!" He went off into another jig. Tsume was impressed.
" Good stamina for a pup."
Hige looked up at Kiba in despair. " You play him," he pleaded. " I can't lose to a kid like him. Redeem a fellow wolf? Please?" He tried to make some puppy eyes, but all it did was make Tsume choke on his soda.
" No thanks," Kiba said, whacking Tsume's back as he coughed.
" Aw, c'mon . . . " Hige wheedled, then he stopped as a brilliant thought occurred to him. He grinned and added slyly, " I bet you're scared he'll beat you too; that's why you don't want to play him, isn't it? Aw . . . is mighty Kiba scared a widdle pup is gonna embarrass him on a dancing game?"
Kiba looked back at Hige very slowly and just stared at him.
" You don't want to make a fool of yourself in front of us, so you just play your I'm-too-cool-for-that-nonsense card and try to brush it off, huh?" Hige continued to push in a mocking voice.
Kiba's eyes were burning now.
There was no going back now, so Hige went for broke and sang, " Kiba's a fraidy-cat - no, wolf – Kiba's a fraidy-wolf, Kiba's a fraidy-wolf! La lala la la laaa!" He did a clumsy jig on the dance pad and laughed.
Kiba snapped.
He stomped up to the machine and shoved Hige out of the way, sending him flying.
" Start the game," he growled, not looking at Toboe, who was only too happy to oblige; he had a new opponent now, so he was happy.
Tsume, meanwhile, had taken a perch on a stool to watch the fun. He sat in it, tipping backward and enjoying his soda, while the two combatants in front of him began dancing in time to the music. Hige grabbed another stool and followed his example, drying his hair with his sweatshirt before pulling it back on.
" Well, that was fun," he remarked. " Kiba sure is mad, though. Listen."
They could hardly hear the music over the sound of Kiba stomping on the arrow buttons. It looked as though he was trying to break a hole in the machine.
" At least he's into it," Hige said over the noise. " I've never seen him this into a game before. Was it something I said?"
" Heh . . . probably not."
Twenty minutes and three games later . . .
" Toboe wins again!" came the triumphant way-cry, and the victory dance was repeated as Kiba slowly stepped off the platform and picked his jacket up from where he had dropped it in the middle of the game. Like Hige before him, he was steeped in sweat and his shirt was soaked.
" Great, now both of you are gonna smell like a pair of gym bags," Tsume complained as the white wolf joined them.
Hige tried to comfort his friend, saying, " Aw, don't take it so hard . . . You did pretty good. You tried."
Kiba sat down and stared ahead listlessly. He must have been in deep shock about the outcome.
" Maybe if Cheza had been here, we could've seen him breakdance on the pads or something," Hige muttered under his breath. Tsume snorted and continued drinking his soda.
Toboe, however, wasn't about to let him off that easily. He was going for three straight wins, and Tsume was his next target.
" C'mon, Tsume!" Toboe yelled, waving at him. " You've gotta play too!"
" I don't think so."
" Aw . . . please?"
" No. And don't try the puppy eyes on me."
" Actually, you do have to play," Hige spoke up from his seat. Tsume looked down at him, eyebrow raised in irritation. Hige laughed nervously and went on, " Well,
y'see . . . I, uh, kinda made a bet with the kid . . . and, and . . . if, um, he won, he could name whatever he wanted for the loser to do, and, well, I kinda lost . . . so I made a deal with him that if either of you could win him at DDR, he'd call off the bet." Hige gestured to the defeated Kiba, still staring into space. " And Kiba here . . . well…"
" So you want me to win the bet for you?" Tsume finished.
" Uh-huh," Hige grinned hopefully. His smile faded when Tsume gave a dismissive "hmph" and resumed rocking back in his chair and drinking his soda. Toboe pouted for a second, then yelled out, " Tsume, if you don't play me right now, I'm gonna tell my granny – " Kiba jumped at the word " – that you use coconut-scented shampoo! And then she'll want to smell your hair to see if it's true! And Kiba already knows how creepy my grandma –" Another jump. "- can be around guys she thinks are cute!"
" Are you threatening me?" Tsume demanded, getting up from his chair. Hige cheered, thinking a fight between the two was imminent.
" That's exactly what I'm doing!"
" I'm not scared of nobody's granny –"
" Stop saying that word!" Kiba snarled, annoyed at having jumped three times.
" This is all your fault, Porky!" Tsume suddenly whirled on Hige, who shrank back.
" Ack! It wasn't me, I swear!" he protested, as Tsume grabbed his collar and began choking him.
" Aw, c'mon, don't be like that!" Toboe called from where he was now perched on the game's handrail. " Don't kill Hige just cuz you're a party pooper!"
" I'm not a party pooper," Tsume said, straightening up and dusting his hands off. Then, to Hige, " I'm doing this for me, not you. You're the one who got yourself into this mess. If you want to make a bet, fine. But leave me out of it. And leave my shampoo out of it, too!" he finished, directing this last remark to Toboe, who only grinned innocently.
He threw his soda away and joined Toboe on the dance pad. " What?"
Toboe was smiling at him sweetly. " Um . . . I don't have any money."
" . . ."
" You're one bad dude," the announcer voice chirped at the game's end.
Final score: Toboe: 8. Tsume: 2.
Overall, the score was – Toboe: 14, the rest of them: 4. Kiba had won one game, Hige had won a game simply because he kept pushing Toboe off the pad, and Tsume managed to scrape by with two games. The three older wolves watched in disbelief as the pup started up another game with money he borrowed from Tsume, who like the two defeated wolves before him had to shrug out of his jacket midway through the battle. Now he sat underneath an AC vent, his back against a shooting game, trying to look as though being beaten by a pup wasn't a sore blow to his pride, as it had been to the others.
" Yeah . . . we suck," Hige concluded, watching Toboe.
As they were leaving, Toboe danced circles around them, singing and laughing.
" Man, we were counting on you to save us," Hige sighed mournfully to Tsume, who immediately snapped back, " Shut up! I did better than you! And you didn't even play fair!"
Kiba said nothing, but they could tell he was not pleased.
" So what exactly were the terms of the bet?" Tsume wanted to know as they made their way back down Main Street. Hige had, of course, procured some food for himself in the form of yet another pair of hot dogs and and was busy eating; he swallowed hastily and grinned cheesily.
" Well . . ." he looked away as Toboe danced by. " Uh . . . we have to do whatever the pup tells us to," he muttered under his breath, hoping Tsume wouldn't catch it. He did.
" What? Who the hell came up with that idea?"
" Kiba," Hige said quickly, but Kiba was pointing at him.
" And what exactly do we have to do?" Tsume asked suspiciously, not liking this idea more and more with each passing second. Both Kiba and Hige shrugged.
" Hee hee hee hee . . ." Toboe giggled, poking his head around Tsume, who looked down with the most unamused expression seen up until that point. And yes, unamused is now a word. " I know exactly what I want you guys to do."
" Hey, it can't be anything nasty or whatever," Hige hastily added.
" It wasn't going to be nasty, but if you want me to, I can . . ." Toboe began, but was cut off by an angry, "NO!" from both Kiba and Tsume. They received a blank stare from the younger two, and quickly switched their gazes somewhere else.
" It's something really easy," Toboe continued. " All you have to do is switch clothes."
" That's it?" Hige asked incredulously. " There's gotta be a catch . . . "
" Well, I was going to invite you guys over to my house tomorrow, so you could switch clothes then."
" That's it?" Hige repeated, eyeing Toboe. " I don't trust you . . . "
" No way," Kiba said quietly. They all looked at him. " I'm not going over there while that . . . " he shuddered, " – old woman is there."
" Aw . . . c'mon, Kiba," Toboe said, his big eyes now directed toward the alpha wolf. " My granny isn't that bad. She's actually really nice to guests, and she makes great meat loaf."
Tsume saw Kiba's ear twitch at the mention of meat loaf.
" She makes . . . meat loaf?" Kiba repeated, staring down Toboe, who nodded enthusiastically.
" Uh-huh! And her apple pie's to die for!" Toboe closed his eyes and sighed deeply, remembering. " Ahh . . . especially when it comes fresh out of the oven, with that moist flaky crust, and all hot and apple-gooey inside, mmm . . ."
Hige and Tsume looked at each other, both suddenly hearing their stomachs give a very loud and prolonged " Grrrrrwwwwllllll . . . "
" . . . and you smother it in vanilla ice cream and it melts all over the pie, running down the sides in cold white cascades of absolute deliciousness . . . "
Hige whimpered. Tsume tried to look as though his stomach wasn't eating itself.
" . . . but the pie is still so warm and good, and when you eat both the pie and the ice cream together it's like Paradise on a plate . . . "
Kiba finally snapped out of the visions of pie and ice cream bowls dancing around in his head, and said to Toboe, " That's enough! Okay, we'll do it . . ." The two others heaved a deep sigh, the spell broken. " . . . but make sure your granny keeps her hands off me, okay?" he finished in a confidential whisper. Toboe nodded, a huge grin plastered on his face.
" No problem!"
They said good-bye to Toboe at the end of Main Street and watched as he scampered away. Then the three headed back to Tsume's apartment for a quick conference.
" Okay, so we have to decide who gets whose clothes," Hige said, absorbed in playing Tsume's holographic shooter game in the living room. Kiba ducked as one of the glowing blue planes zoomed over his head and flew around the ceiling. Hige shot it down and concentrated on a cluster of three just coming in to attack. He raised the cool-looking plastic gun turret and swiveled around in the chair, tracking them and dealing out justice in three-round bursts. He let out a "Woot! I'm ace!" just as Tsume entered from the kitchen and shut down the game.
" Aaw . . . " Hige said as the lights clicked on. He tossed the gun down and looked up in disappointment. " I was just getting warmed up, too."
" We're not here to play around," Kiba put in, before Tsume could retort. " We're here to figure out who to switch with, like you were saying a second ago."
" I said that?" Hige asked, looking confused. " Funny, I don't remember . . . "
" If you hadn't been so absorbed in mooching off my game, you would have," Tsume answered, wrapping the gun's cord around it and stowing it in the cabinet under the TV. Hige suddenly leaped forward, almost tackling him in his eagerness to see something in the cabinet.
" Was that a dating sim?" he demanded. " I thought I saw a dating sim . . . "
" Get off me, Porky," Tsume snarled, shoving him off. " My game system's none of your business." Hige slumped back on the couch and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
" So, back to the question at hand: Who switches with who?" Kiba asked from his spot on the easy chair. No one said anything.
Hige glanced at his two packmates and considered carefully. I guess switching with Kiba wouldn't be so bad, he thought. But Tsume . . . brr. He looked at the leather pants, ripped jacket and gray undershirt, and shuddered involuntarily.
Tsume looked at the other two and thought with a frown, Either way I'm screwed. Either it's too baggy . . . Here he shot a glance at Hige. – Or it's too . . . Kiba. Dammit.
Kiba just looked at his two friends and sighed inwardly.
" Here, let's just rock, paper, scissors it," he said, when the silence had pervaded the atmosphere for a whole seven minutes. " It'll be a lot easier and nothing to argue about." The other two agreed reluctantly.
" Winner chooses who he wants to switch with, then the other two will switch," he continued. Hige stepped up, rotating his arm as though warming up.
" I'll go first," he said with a confident grin. " No way am I getting Tsume's stuff."
" Okay . . . rock, paper, scissors!"
Hige held out a fist. Kiba's hand formed the peace sign. Hige jumped up and cheered.
" Awright! I get Kiba's stuff! Yeah! No leather for me!"
Tsume watched him, mildly amused. " It's not like you could fit in my clothes, anyway, Porky," he said, raising an eyebrow. " And I don't plan on having to sew the arms back on my jacket after you get through popping the seams."
" They're more than half off anyway," Hige shot back. " You oughta get them fixed."
" Give it a rest, you two," Kiba said. " Okay, it's settled then. Hige gets my stuff, I get Tsume's, Tsume gets Hige's. All clear?"
The other two nodded, one grinning.
" Okay, then. We'll meet here tomorrow and switch, then head over to Toboe's. I'll see you guys later." Kiba got up and left. Hige followed closely.
" See ya, Tsume. Tomorrow you get a fashion makeover," Hige called from the hallway, laughing, as the door closed behind him.
" Shut up," Tsume muttered.
Well, that's it for the fourth chapter! I made it longer to make up for the time I didn't update . . . hey, put down your pitchforks, I had finals, all right? Well, anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and I shall see you next time! Later!