Yo, it's me. I actually had time to work on this chapter, what with spring break and all. It started off as a friendly game of DDR and quickly escalated into something much, much worse. I'm scared by how bad it's gotten. Granny's making her second appearance, and Kiba's wearing Tsume's clothing. Hmmmm . . . I wonder what will happen . . . sadly, I had no idea what was going to happen; I just started typing things as they occurred to me. Somehow it came out in coherent story form. I'd like to thank all my reviewers, especially Kiba, who has read everything before I posted except this chapter (mwa ha ha ha ha . . . ), and who has ph34red with great ph34r. "Should you be scared?" Yes . . . be afraid, be very afraid.
Hige whistled cheerfully as the elevator ascended to the fifth floor. He grinned to himself, thinking that Kiba had gotten the raw end of the deal, having to wear Tsume's clothes to Toboe's house. It was kind of sad, and he should have felt sorry for the guy, but all the same, he was relieved and amused at the same time that it wasn't him.
The elevator stopped with a "ding" and Hige hopped out just in time to see Kiba walking by. " Hey!" he exclaimed. " How'd you get up here so fast?"
Kiba stopped long enough to let him catch up. " I took the stairs," he said simply. " I don't like elevators."
Hige followed him down the hallway, shaking his head. Kiba's mistrust of all moving conveyances would never change. He knocked on number thirty-five's door and stood twiddling his hands in his pockets.
" It's open!" Tsume's muffled voice hollered from behind the door. They opened it and saw Tsume sitting in front of the TV with a strange-looking helmet of sorts on his head, a glowing green visor covering his eyes like the faceplate of a motorcycle helmet. They stopped short at the sight; Tsume stared back at them.
" What? Haven't you guys ever played that one online game . . . ?"
They both stared at him blankly. Tsume shook his head and took off the helmet.
" You guys are amazingly clueless. I was about to quit anyway." He gathered up the gaming gear scattered around him and began piling it into a cabinet.
" So, uh . . . when are we gonna switch?" Hige asked, looking from one to the other. Tsume grunted and scratched the back of his head, muttering something about cheap game gear from America.
" We might as well get it over with," Kiba said in a low voice. He looked worried about something, and they could very well guess what it was. But he took off his jacket and handed it to Hige.
" Change in the bathroom," Tsume instructed him, then to Kiba, " And you can grab my stuff in the room, it's hanging on the door."
Kiba went into the bedroom and after a minute handed his shirt and jeans to Hige through the door, who in turn went into the bathroom to change.
Hige came out a moment later wearing Kiba's jacket, jeans, and shirt. He had even pushed up the sleeves on the jacket.
" So, how do I look?" he asked, grinning at Tsume.
" Just like him, only with an added thirty pounds or so," Tsume answered, turning on the TV and reclining on the couch.
" Hey!"
A couple of minutes passed. Tsume and Hige were watching cartoons when Kiba poked his head around the door. " Hey, Tsume . . . "
" What."
" Could you . . . uh, come here and give me a hand with this?"
" With what?"
" I . . . I'm having some trouble getting into your jacket."
Tsume rolled his eyes and got up from the couch to help while Hige fell off his chair laughing helplessly. As he was picking himself up he could hear Tsume coaching Kiba in the finer points of wearing leather.
" No, not like that!" Tsume was saying angrily. " You're gonna mess up the sleeves!"
" But they're already messed up!" Kiba returned just as angrily. " They're about to rip off!"
" I've been wearing that jacket for years, and the sleeves have never come off, so you better watch how you wave your arms!"
" I can't even zip this stupid thing up!"
" It's not too hard. Just suck in your stomach a bit and there should be no problem."
" Why is this thing so short?" Kiba's voice rose indignantly. " I can see my stomach! I've gotta adjust these damn pants – " There was the sound of leather being pulled. " Argh!"
" Hey, you can't go pulling these pants up like that or you'll give yourself a wedgie," Tsume said in a tone that indicated his patience was pretty much spent. " Kinda like you did just now."
There was no more noise for a minute or so; Kiba was suffering in silence. Then he came out of the bathroom with as much of his former dignity as he could muster, walked stiff-legged over to the sofa, and sat down gingerly. Hige was watching him with a smug smile, snickering once or twice. Kiba glared at him, then began struggling into Tsume's zip-up boots. Oddly enough, they fit.
Tsume was a little quicker; he came out wearing Hige's baggy clothes – a far cry from his usual beloved leather – with a frown.
" Don't even think about it," he warned, lacing up the gray sneakers, as Hige opened his mouth and pointed to his collar. " I'm not gonna wear that thing; this is bad enough."
" Whatever," Hige shrugged, pulling the collar back on.
" Let's get going," Kiba said, pulling himself together and standing to his feet, and the two followed him out the door.
" Cripes, this thing is baggy," Tsume remarked, pulling at the yellow hoodie. Hige looked over at him.
" Baggy is in, tight is out. Save the tight, revealing clothing for the ladies."
" Please do," Kiba grumbled, still trying to figure out how to get the jacket and pants close enough together to cover his middle. So far he'd only succeeded in giving himself two more murphs, and a third one seemed imminent.
" Well, I don't know about you guys," Hige began in a self-righteous tone, " But I'm pretty comfortable in this." They both turned very slowly to look at him.
" You do realize that we're in this mess only because of you and your big mouth?" Tsume snarled. Hige backed off, hands raised in defense.
" Hey, just look on the bright side . . . You're getting a change of pace in your wardrobe! You're, uh, broadening your horizons! Right, Kiba? Right –?"
The cold glare he received stopped any further discussion.
" . . . I think I'll shut up now."
" You do that."
They pulled up in front of Toboe's house about twenty minutes later. Kiba looked nervous; he kept glancing out of the window as though expecting to see an ominous shadow looming over him and squealing with feminine delight.
Unperturbed, Hige hopped out of the driver's side and slammed the door. There was a movement at one of the windows inside, and a second later Toboe came racing out of the house to greet them.
" Hey guys! What's up?" He skidded to a stop on the sidewalk at the sight of them all wearing different clothes, then he laughed and raised a hand to the back of his head.
" You look good!" he grinned, unmoved by the deadpan stares that greeted him, and with that led them into the house. Kiba halted just outside the door, but Tsume pushed him in.
" You're the leader around here, or you're supposed to be, anyway. Show some backbone," he said in a low growl. Kiba stiffened, but went forward as Toboe led them down a short hallway and into the living room, motioning for them to sit on the couches. Hige sniffed the air with delight as he sank into the cushiony pillows.
" Man, that smells good!" he exclaimed. " When's dinner?"
" Grandma's been done for a while now, but she's busy setting up the table all fancy and stuff. We don't get guests that often," Toboe explained.
" Toboe?" called a familiar voice from the kitchen. " Can you come here for a moment, please?" At the sound, Kiba leapt to his feet instinctively and crouched as though to run.
" Whoa, you're not going anywhere," Tsume said, grabbing Kiba's jacket collar as he made to escape down the hall, strong-arming the fugitive back down on the couch. " You'll sit there and wait for dinner, like a good wolf."
" Coming," Toboe answered, and left them the remote for the TV, telling them to entertain themselves for a bit. As they sat there, Kiba got a bad case of the jitters and kept looking around anxiously. Hige finally got irritated and grabbed the remote from him, flipping the channel to the news.
The weather man was standing in front of a digital screen showing a map of the city, saying, " Look out, folks, it's looking like another wet spell is headed towards us." He gestured to a dark cluster of what had to be clouds. " You'll see here that this warm front is headed this way, and with this cool front here – " Another gesture. " They'll collide somewhere around here, and that will, of course, somehow produce a rainstorm!" He stepped up to the camera and held up a warning finger. " So be prepared!"
" Ooh-kay," Hige said, flipping the channel again. " That was just odd." He began flipping through channels at random. They caught bits and pieces of each program as it blinked by. " – buy a new, improved Vortex blender –" " – leet speak in ten weeks –" " – you love me, we're a happy-" " – save the kittens!" " – top ten swimsuit models – " " – flowers of the world –" " – vacation in Rome – "
" Hey, go back, go back!" Kiba suddenly urged. They both looked at him as though he'd sprouted wings.
" What's your problem?" Tsume asked, settling back on the couch after shooting him an odd glance.
" That's right, what channel were those swimsuit models on?" Hige muttered, leaning forward, remote raised. Kiba grabbed it from him.
" Not that!" he said, flipping through the channels almost frantically. " I thought that I saw –" He suddenly stopped and stared, spellbound. " There . . . "
" What?" They both followed his gaze to the television, which showed the calm, sunlit interior of a greenhouse, with potted plants lining the tables and shelves. A few brightly-colored orchids were scattered among the more homely plants.
" Uh, Kiba . . . " Hige began, looking at him worriedly. " Are you okay . . .?"
" Shh!" Kiba hissed. " Listen!"
A young woman's voice was speaking. It was quiet and held a certain light, lilting tone. And it sounded oddly . . . familiar.
" Let them bathe in the sunlight and you will see a big difference in the way they look," she was saying about a vase of flowers, obviously the focus of the discussion." If you keep them inside too long, they might wither and die. Even the smallest flower enjoys drinking in the sun . . ."
They were all frozen, staring at the TV and listening to the speaker's voice. The young woman was offscreen, and they couldn't see her face, but the same thought was going through the mind of all three wolves as she continued to talk about the cluster of pure white flowers on the table before the camera.
" These flowers enjoy bathing in moonlight . . . There's an old, old legend that goes back hundreds of years concerning these particular flowers, and what they used to be called–"
Kiba's heart caught in his throat. It was beating faster and faster, and far off, in a distant corner of his mind, he was recalling the face and scent of another young girl, with a voice just like . . . just like . . .
" This one . . . " the young woman said, and her hand reached out to touch one of the petals.
Hige gasped. Tsume looked startled for a second.
" Is that - ? Is she – ?"
Kiba couldn't say anything.
The camera panned over and showed the young woman sitting on a low stool among the flowers, her back to the camera. Her light pink hair shimmered in the sunlight as it filtered through the translucent green ceiling and splashed on her white blouse and skirt. Kiba noticed she was wearing a gold bracelet on each arm. Strange . . .
She turned to the camera and smiled. Like a snapshot in time, each one in that living room sitting enthralled by her voice saw her dark crimson eyes, her smile, her hair . . .
" Cheza . . . " Kiba whispered.
At that moment Toboe came back, saying, " Hey guys, dinner's ready . . ." He froze, seeing the young woman on the TV. A look of surprised recognition slowly crept into his face as he stared along with the other three.
" No way . . . her too . . . ?"
No one spoke. Cheza, or the girl that looked remarkably like her, down to the pink hair and not-occurring-in-nature red eyes, was still speaking about the white flowers on the table, which were, of course, lunar flowers. The carefree, lucid way she carried herself had not changed over the years, nor the easy grace with which she moved. Kiba couldn't take his eyes from her.
" After all this time . . . " he murmured.
" Toboe? Toboe, are your friends coming to dinner?" asked a voice from the kitchen, jerking them all back to reality, but Kiba most of all.
Granny stood in the doorway leading to the dining room, apron still securely in place. She had made an effort to do her hair, but she seemed to be missing her owl lookalike glasses, which made Hige sigh with relief as he stood to his feet and prepared to follow Toboe into the dining room. He stiffened with shock, however, when Granny suddenly swooped down and pounced on him as though she were – well, him pouncing on a pretty girl. Bewildered, he went red with embarrassment and struggled to break free.
" Well, look who came to see me!" the old woman cackled in glee, refusing to break her grip. " Thought you'd play hard to get a couple of days ago, but you can't fool me, now can you?" He recoiled in sheer terror from her toothless gums.
: cut to view of Earth from space:
" ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
Tsume grinned to himself evilly as he passed the mashed potatoes over to Toboe, who caught his glance and giggled in response. Even Kiba was holding back a smile of amusement at the sight of Hige, trapped in Kiba's clothes and Granny's clutches, sitting at the head of the table where she could keep him under her thumb. He tried to catch their eyes and plead silently for help, but the three seemed to find their plates extraordinarily fascinating and were heading through their second helpings while he could barely stomach the salad.
" Her glasses broke this morning, and she won't get the replacements for a couple of days," Toboe whispered to the other two behind a heaping plate of dinner rolls. " So I guess she was only looking for your clothes, Kiba, not your face."
Kiba exhaled a sigh of relief, but didn't move from his position at the opposite end of the table, behind the gravy boat, salt shaker, and juice jug, where it was less likely she would notice him. He cringed every time she got up to get something from the oven or the fridge, and passed by him. He seemed safe for the moment, though, since she was totally focused on Hige.
" Why aren't you saying anything, dear?" she asked, scooting her chair closer. Hige scooted farther away. " You've barely touched your food . . . Is that why you're so scrawny?" Her hand took his wrist – Hige barely stifled a yelp – and she frowned thoughtfully.
" You seem to have put on a little weight since I last saw you," she said at last, releasing his wrist. " No matter. Eat up, dearie, I've got plenty more where that came from."
Tsume sniggered overhis apple pie at the distressed look on Hige's face. Toboe actually had to leave to go to the bathroom where he could laugh in peace.
After dinner, they went to sit in the living room and relax, and watch Hige suffer more from Granny's unwanted and very misdirected attentions. Kiba had actually let his guard down a little after realizing that Granny didn't recognize him, and was taking it easy on the couch while Hige glared at him. Toboe was talking to Tsume, who was pretending to ignore him while keeping half his attention focused on reading the TV guide.
" Excuse me just a moment, honey, I have to get something from my room," Granny announced, stood slowly and walked out. Taking advantage of her brief absence, Hige jumped up and began pulling off the jacket furiously.
" Take back your stinkin' clothes, Kiba!" he demanded, freeing one arm from the sleeves. " I don't wanna be that lady's lapdog! You're the one she's after, not me!"
" You're just getting payback for getting us into this mess to begin with," Tsume said without looking up from the TV guide.
" Yeah, you brought Kiba and Tsume into a bet that wasn't even theirs, and now karma's come around to bite you in the ass," Toboe said matter-of-factly. Hige turned on him.
" I don't even want to hear it from you, ya little runt," he said between clenched teeth, still struggling with the jacket. " If you hadn't won . . . Hey! Don't grin at me like that!"
" I have no idea what you're talking about . . ."
Kiba just shrugged and resumed looking at the TV, remembering the sight of that girl on the flower program.
" I'm so sorry . . . " Granny came back straightening her hair. " I was looking around for my kerchief and I found these in my closet – " She held up pair of thick glasses. Kiba looked over and froze.
In slow motion, they all saw her lift the glasses to her face and put them on, pushing the bridge up a little with her finger. Then she smiled at them, scanning their faces.
Kiba saw her eyes rest on him and linger, and he felt suddenly exposed, like meat on display in a deli window.
Oh, crap . . . he thought, remembering painfully that he was wearing Tsume's clothes. Which meant . . .
Tight leather. Exposed chest. Not exactly what he needed right now, with a rabid granny of a fangirl staring him down at the moment. And drooling, of course.
And advancing very slowly and stealthily, ready to pounce on him. Her prey.
" Get away!" he yelled, as she dove at him with remarkable speed and agility. It was amazing what hormones could do to a person. Adrenaline pumping, Kiba jumped over the fallen couch and dodged her outstretched arms.
" Oh, please, take me away!" she cried in ecstatic delight, still pursuing. Kiba lobbed a pillow at her, but all it did was make her giggle.
" Ooh, a pillowfight? I've got lots of pillows upstairs, sweetheart . . . "
" Argh! Keep away from me, you sick, twisted person! Don't touch me with your evil hands! Bad, bad touch!"
Hige and Toboe sat calmly, watching their leader and his female pursuer race all over the house, upsetting plants, bookcases, and lamps, while Tsume sat on the sofa still perusing the TV guide. Once, he looked up in irritation and called, " Could you keep it down? Geez . . . " before going back to reading.
After twenty minutes of being chased by an emotion-driven, sight-crazy Granny, Kiba was thankful that his stamina was still what it used to be. Granny had collapsed on her easy chair in the living room, ending the chase . . . for now. He lurked at the top of the stairs, half hoping all that running would give the old woman a heart attack or something along those lines – anything that would give him enough time to make his escape out the front door, which she hadn't neglected to guard.
She'd kept him running long enough to work him into a light sweat, and she'd noticed it too, which made it even worse.
" Hoo, wow! Sweat . . . and leather! I've died and gone to heaven!"
: cut toshot of Earth :
"ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"
" Crap, crap . . . double crap!" Kiba grumbled angrily at the top of the stairs. " Being hunted down by Darcia wasn't nearly as bad as this!"
" Hey Kiba," Hige called from the bottom. " We're gonna get going, it's past six. Are you coming?"
Granny planted herself squarely in the middle of the stairs like a police barricade, almost daring him to try and get past her.
" He's not going anywhere until I get a hug and a kiss," she declared to the other three, and that was that. She faced forward determinedly and didn't move from her spot.
" Nngh . . . " came the wretched moan from the top of the stairs.
So there you have it. I cranked this one out without doing a rough draft at all. Will Kiba have to (shudder) kiss her? Or will he choose to jump out of an upstairs window and take his chances with gravity? Who knows? Poor, poor Kiba. I really don't know what else to say. And Kiba . . . I know you don't have anything else to say about this, either . . . unless it's encapsulated by one of three words: "Blue," "pups," or "pants." Ah well . . . until next time, my dear hobbitses! Wait...what the hell-? Oh, and one more thing (I sound like Uncle from the Jackie Chan cartoon). . . if you want to know whatmy personality's like, read Megatokyo and look for the character Largo. He's the weird one. I just had to put that in. Anyway . . .lat3r!