Chapter Fifteen: The Hardest Thing In This World Is To Live In It
Anya staggered down a random corridor. As soon as she reached the halfway point she sat down. (Human again. Dammit!) She took a second to actually consider her situation. She couldn't say that she felt the despair that immediately overtook her the last time once she realized what had happened. In fact, she felt as if a burden had been lifted off of her. (Admit it, Anya- your heart wasn't in it.)
"Well hello there."
Anya looked up with a gasp. One of the Joker's goons had woken up and followed her. His face was bloody, and it looked like his nose was very recently broken. He was pointing his gun at her head.
"Last words, girlie," he sneered. "Smoke 'em if you've got 'em."
(Twelve hundred or so years over… why am I so calm about this?)
"GET AWAY FROM HER!"
(Xander?)
Xander was running at the thug at top speed. The thug turned and started to aim, but Xander was too fast. He punched the man square in the jaw, dropping him.
"And this time you stay down, you home-invading asshole!" Xander snapped.
"Xander?"
He smiled at her and squatted down. "Hey, Ahn," he said. It was his gentlest voice. "So I, uh, I noticed what went down a few minutes ago. Sorry about that."
"Oh. Well, who wants to be immortal anyway? I mean if you've done it once, you've done it a hundred times."
He laughed. "So it's back to plain old Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins, huh?"
"Damn, that a lame-ass made up maiden name, isn't it?"
He laughed again, and to her surprise she joined in. "I don't know. Compared to Alexander LaVelle Harris-" He was cut off by a gunshot. He pitched to the ground screaming. Anya saw blood coming out of his shoulder. She saw the thug stand up.
"I meant to hit him in the head," the thug muttered. "My vision was a little blurry, but I'm fine now. Bye-bye, boy." He cocked the gun, and started aiming at Xander's head. Anya felt a sudden thrust of overpowering hatred. She got up and tackled the thug. He fell, and Anya landed on top of him. She deeply scratched his face, and punched him in the jaw.
(Damn, that hurts!) As the thug clutched his face, she noticed his gun, which lay in arm's reach. She got off of the thug and grabbed the gun. She lifted it and aimed it. (I've never used one of these things before. I guess you have to start somewhere!)
A batarang emerged practically out of nowhere, and knocked the gun out of her hands. She looked up, and saw Robin headed her way. He punched the thug again, putting him out, and he went to Xander. He reached in his utility belt and started pulling out medical supplies, tending to Xander. "You're lucky," Robin told him. "Bullet went clean through."
"Yeah," Xander said in a shaky voice. "Lucky me."
"Robin!" Anya heard Dawn call. "XANDER!" Dawn screamed as she noticed who he was tending.
"What is it?" Robin asked Dawn.
"Dala's up, and she's got the drop on Batman."
"Okay," Robin said grimly. "Can you teleport them, to safety, Miss Jenkins?" Robin asked Anya.
"No," she told him. "The necklace was the source of my power. With it gone, I'm human again."
"Alright," Robin muttered. "Dawn, can you guard them?"
"Yeah," Dawn nodded.
"Good." He returned to the fight.
"That is one brave kid," Anya murmured. She didn't notice that she was stroking Xander's hair.
#Now, wouldn't you agree that it would make more sense to thank me for killing her?# Rack asked Willow.
"No!" Willow yelled. She felt more confused than she had ever felt before in her life.
#Are you sure? True, I killed her, but I've also showed you the truth about yourself. You like the darkness, little Strawberry. You like its power. Let me offer you a deal. You let me live, and I show you more#
"You can do that?" The words escaped her before she could stop them, but she truly was curious.
#You know I can. Think about it. I can take you places you never even dreamed existed#
"And steal my soul."
#Really- why would I risk your finding out and your being pissed off?#
It was a good question.
#Think about it# Rack continued. #Anything is possible with the power. We can bring your girlfriend back. We can make her better, if you want- prettier, more willing to explore the depths of her power, more… subservient? You would like that, wouldn't you?#
"I do want Tara back," Willow heard herself mutter.
#I can show you how to do that without needing any silly little urns. Watch# More images flashed before Willow's eyes. There she was with Tara, poring over books of dark magic. There they both were, dark-eyed and dark-haired, battling demons and super-villains. There she was standing on a pedestal, drinking in the adoration poured at her by a horde of grateful people. They were hers to do with as she pleased. Every man, woman and child ready to kill for her, die for her, and serve her every sexual desire. All she had to do was open her mouth and say the word.
She turned around. Oz was there in human form. He gazed up at her with those soulful eyes she still loved. His guitar was in his hands, ready to play at her whim. He was just as ready to play for her as he was to wolf out and rip out somebody's throat. Tara was opposite him. She stood, but she gazed at Willow with her special adoration-face, her eyes wide, and her smiling lips slightly open and trembling. Slightly behind them were her family and all of her friends, kneeling in adoration. Rack was behind them all. He beamed at her with an expression of fatherly pride, even more fatherly pride than her father had ever shown when looking at her report cards (always straight-A's, except for gym). She felt happy. She felt content.
#All you have to do is say yes#
Willow opened her mouth to speak, but she stopped when she noticed something. The eyes of her friends, of the people she loved most, weren't filled with adoration at all. They were filled with fear. She was scaring the hell out of the people she loved most.
It was time for her to make a decision. She knew to her bones that Rack would fulfill all of his promises and then some, if she said yes and gave into him. Everything she saw would come true. That was the problem, wasn't it?
"NO!" she screamed, and the image shattered. She suddenly felt ice cold, and she recognized too late what Rack was doing. He was going for it. He was trying to steal her soul.
#You should have said yes, Strawberry. I wouldn't have had to do this#
She fought him. She fought him with everything she had. It wasn't enough. He was in her too much for her to excise him so easily. She didn't even know how to get him out of her now.
"Help me!" she screamed. "Somebody help me!"
#It's not too late, Strawberry. You can still say yes#
"No! Help me! Tara, Oz- everybody! Help me!"
#Since you asked so nicely# A new voice rang in her mind as she felt sudden warmth pour through her being. The darkness around her lessened. She felt rather than heard Rack scream in fury.
"Tara?" she asked the voice.
#It's me, sweetie#
"You heard me even after you died?"
#I would hear you anywhere, but no. Actually, I heard you from my hospital bed. I'm not dead. He didn't kill me, but he came close. Anya saved me and took me to the hospital#
"You're alive," Willow joyfully sobbed. "You're alive!"
#Yes, but you won't be for long unless you deal with Rack now#
"I can't. He's too strong!"
#You're right. You can't fight him, not with the darkness. Oh Willow, he's more in tune with it than you know. It can't hurt him when he's like this. The only way you can stop him is to purge the extra darkness in you and replace it with light#
"I don't know how to do that!"
#I know. Let me show you#
Suddenly, Willow knew what she had to do. But she had a problem. "I can't!" she sobbed.
#Yes, you can. I'll be with you, sweetie. Together, we can do anything, remember?# A ghostly image of Tara manifested before her and she outstretched her hand. #Now take my hand, and don't let go#
Willow took Tara's hand, and the visions began. She saw everything she had ever done wrong. She saw every lie, every harsh word, every trick, every misfired spell, every time she hurt someone. Everything. Some of them she remembered, like the yellow crayon incident from kindergarten. There were several that she had forgotten, like that time in 10th grade when Cordelia came to her for computer help and she tricked her into deleting all of her work. There were many, far too many, that she didn't even know she had done. She felt every ounce of pain she had ever caused the people in her life. By the end of it she was a sobbing wreck. She felt lower than she had ever felt before in her life. (I'm worthless! I'm a selfish, selfish bitch who needs to have pieces of her skin flayed off and fed to a demon right now!)
She felt someone hugging her. She opened her eyes and saw Tara. Tara was smiling at her. Willow didn't understand. Tara saw everything that Willow had done wrong in her life, but she was still here, hugging her and smiling like she forgave her. Willow cried harder, and she felt Tara's embrace tighten.
Suddenly, Willow understood. Tara saw everything that Willow saw, but somehow it didn't matter. Tara loved her anyway. Tara Maclay didn't give her heart out easily, and she didn't give it to people who didn't deserve it. That meant that unless she had Tara completely fooled, Willow was more than just a piece of shit. She was worth something. (I have to be worth something, because Tara's the most perceptive person I know. She, Oz, and Giles make a holy trinity of perception.) She looked up at Tara, who smiled and nodded. Willow felt herself smile. "So I'm not worthless?"
Tara's response was a gentle kiss. Willow felt relieved and she felt glad, but most of all she felt grateful. She kissed back and felt the darkness leave her, and return to the book. Then she felt a growing connection to… something. She had felt it before somewhere, but never this strongly. (Wow!)
Rack re-entered his body with a growl. (I was so fucking close!) He had her where he wanted her. On one hand, she would become his disciple, and on the other, he would steal her soul and with it her power. (Then that stupid blond bitch- who I should have made sure was in the ground- had to show up and ruin everything! Well, at least Strawberry has let go of the darkness. I can still kill her!) He looked up to see her, intending to cast any number of offensive spells. He expected to see her back to normal. He did not expect to see her practically glowing. Her hair had turned white. "So, Strawberry got some cream, did she?" he snarled.
She looked down at him. "I want to offer you a chance to stand down, but somehow I don't think you'll take it."
Rack sneered. "So you've found the power of the light. So what? Even if your lady managed to purify you to the point where you can tap it without burning yourself, it doesn't change the fact that you are what you are."
"You're right."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I'm still me. The magics that I channel can amplify certain traits, but underneath it I'm still me, dark and light. I think I really prefer me like this though, but Darth Willow has her place, and her time." She cocked her head and looked at him. "You don't follow, do you?"
"Oh, I follow. I've heard this drivel before."
"I'm going to offer you one chance, Rack. Stand down."
"Your control of the light is new, and you are alone. My control of the dark is quite old, as you will see!" he shot of volley of black lightning at her. Willow raised a hand and deflected it.
Willow looked down at him and felt a sense of sadness. She knew what she had to do. Tara didn't like it. Willow didn't really like it either, but the bastard had it coming. Neither of them knew how to cage him. They might have been able to 'change' him, but that would have been wrong. That left only one course of action.
"Yeah, you're right," Willow agreed, "but I'm not alone. I'm by myself, but I'm not alone. Lux." She felt Tara join with her in casting the spell. Together, they penetrated Rack's defenses. Willow watched as light engulfed Rack. She heard his scream of agony as the light seared the flesh from his bones. Because the light meant honesty as much as it did purity, Willow could not deny a degree of satisfaction. Even when Tara turned away, Willow watched.
When the light faded, no trace of Rack remained. She lowered herself to the ground, and she felt the extra power, no longer needed, fade away. It left her feeling giddy. "Well, that was nifty," Willow muttered.
"I will destroy you all!" Dala ranted as she pressed her attack. "You will die slowly and in screaming agony!"
Her fury fuelled her fighting. Batman scowled. Some individuals fought better when enraged. Dala seemed to be one of those. She had rallied a few demons cringing around the edges of the battlefield, but Batman noticed that they were the only remaining opponents. Nightwing and Buffy were still facing the Monk on the catwalk, Willow was presumably fighting Rack, and Joker and his thugs were out of the picture. As was Jason. (Not now!) he reminded himself as he blocked a punch and countered with a kick. Batgirl and Robin were fighting the last demons, leaving him alone with Dala.
"I wanted to make you suffer," Dala continued, "but I think that I'm just going to torture you and sire your brats! Doesn't that just sound lovely?"
Batman snarled. He pressed his own attack, launching a flurry of punches at her. She blocked most of them, and countered with a punch to his jaw. He couldn't block it in time.
She must have hit him with her full strength, because the next he knew he was on the ground, watching Batgirl and Robin attacking her. A sudden movement caught his eye, and he followed it. He did not know when it happened, but Spike had recovered enough to move, and had walked down the stairs. The vampire held a stake in his hand. Batman motioned for Spike to toss the stake, but Spike shook his head and mouthed that he wanted her. Batman grimaced. The vampire had to be stubborn. An idea suddenly hit him. Batman mouthed for Spike to hold the pointed end out. The vampire flashed him a wicked grin as comprehension set in and did as he was told.
"Enough!" Batman heard Dala yell as he stood up. He saw her drop Robin with a blow to the neck before rounding on Batgirl.
"Stand down, Batgirl!" he called. "She's mine."
Dala smirked at him. "Oh really? And how to you intend to deal with me?"
He let himself grin viciously. "Why don't you just find out?"
Dala scowled, and rushed him. (I must time this correctly. Closer, closer- NOW!) He reached out and grabbed an arm, spinning her around. Grabbing her in a hold, he ran at Spike and shoved the vampire toward him. He heard Dala scream in horror as her body connected with the stake. The scream was suddenly cut off as she exploded into dust. The impact of her body had knocked the weakened vampire down. Motioning for Batgirl to tend to Robin, Batman approached and helped Spike up.
"I've wanted to do that for years," Spike told him. "Thanks for the shove."
"You're welcome," Batman replied.
A sudden, brilliant flash of light attracted their attention. A male figure was glowing and screaming. The glow faded within seconds, leaving nothing behind. Batman saw Willow touch down to the ground. Her hair was a stark white, but quickly returned to its natural colour.
"Well, that was nifty," he heard her mutter.
"I assume that was Rack," he told her as he went to join her, still supporting Spike.
"Yeah. I know you don't like killing-"
"I don't, but I told Miss Summers that I would defer to her in purely supernatural matters. You didn't kill any non-magical humans?"
"No."
"Then I don't have to take you down." As one, the three of them turned to watch the fight between Nightwing, Buffy, and the Monk. He heard Batgirl join them.
"One to go," Spike announced.
"Robin is okay," Batgirl told him. "Just out cold."
"Mr. Giles is down, and I heard a gunshot from one of the corridors. I don't know if there are any casualties."
"It's Xander," Willow breathed, a faraway look in her eye. "He's okay. Robin stabilized him, but I have to go to him!" Willow said.
"Go," Batman told her. "Take him to a hospital any way you can. We will meet you there."
"Are you sure?"
"Go."
Willow nodded and dashed off. Batman looked at Spike. "Hospitals can't help your kind."
"Not really."
"Then you're with us." The three of them marched up the stairs, where the last fight raged.
"You are good," the Monk panted, "but I am better."
Buffy/Sineya and Nightwing/Okonkwo looked at each other, and nodded. She dashed right, he dashed left, and both charged the Monk. She threw a punch at the Monk's head, and he launched a kick at the Monk's midsection. One hand came up, blocking the punch, and the other grabbed the leg and threw Nightwing/Okonkwo away. As Buffy/Sineya threw a flurry of jabs at the Monk, Nightwing/Okonkwo rolled with the throw, landing safely. He got back up and charged the Monk again. This time, he threw a kick at the Monk's head, and the kick connected. Buffy/Sineya, in mid-swing, altered the trajectory of her blow and hit the Monk in the solar plexus. He went to his knees. She followed through with a knee to the face. The Monk got up and dodged Buffy/Sineya's next kick and Nightwing/Okonkwo's next punch. He managed to grab their heads and knock them together. They fell, stunned.
The Monk smirked as he stood over them. He heard a whirring noise, and raised a hand to grab the incoming batarang. He looked up and saw Batman, Batgirl, and Spike standing a few feet from him. "Ah, so I see you are all that remain. Pity. I shall tend to you later."
"You will tend to us now," Batman snarled at him.
"No!" the Monk heard. He looked down. Nightwing/Okonkwo was speaking. "Let us take care of him. It is our fight!"
The Batman looked at his son's shell, and nodded.
"Stand down," he told Spike and Batgirl. Spike started protesting, but Batgirl stood down.
The Monk smirked at the Slayer and her lover. "Why do you not simply give up?" he asked conversationally.
"Because you still exist," the Slayer spat, "and all of us agree that you are a blight upon the earth."
"There are many blights upon the earth," the Monk replied evenly as he began another series of attacks.
Buffy/Sineya and Nightwing/Okonkwo fought back, but it was clear that they could only stalemate him at best. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy/Sineya saw her wounded Watcher lean out of the shaft and aim a shot at the Monk. Buffy/Sineya motioned for him to wait, but an idea struck her. She only hoped that the Watcher would follow her thought. She hung back slightly, letting Nightwing/Okonkwo press the attack. She waited for the right moment, and it came quickly. The Monk's arm rose into a good position, and she grabbed it, holding it. The Monk struggled, but Nightwing/Okonkwo pressed his attack, forcing the Monk to fend him off.
(Please let the Watcher-) The sudden sound of a crossbow firing told her that the Watcher understood. His bolt hit the Ring of Undeath. It shattered with a flash of dark energy.
"NO!" the Monk screamed. Buffy/Sineya let him go and hit him with her hardest punch, knocking him against the wall. She and Nightwing/Okonkwo grabbed their fallen swords and charged the Monk.
"NOT AGAIN!" the Monk screamed as her sword sliced through his midsection while Nightwing/Okonkwo's sliced through his neck. He exploded into dust, and at long last, it was over.
"My love," Buffy/Sineya breathed as she faced her lover.
"My love," Nightwing/Okonkwo breathed back as the two embraced. They broke their embrace and looked at their allies. "It is over," he announced.
"You have our deepest gratitude for your aid," Buffy/Sineya added.
The two lovers looked at each other again, and kissed. They glowed as they kissed, and two sparks rose out of their bodies. The sparks intertwined and flew off together, disappearing in a flash of light.
"Ahem," Batman coughed. It was enough to make Nightwing and Buffy stop kissing. They broke away from each other, clearly embarrassed. Buffy helped Giles up, supporting him. "If you two are done, there is still work for us." He turned around and saw Willow and Dawn coming out of a corridor, preceding a floating Xander, while Anya was helping Robin up. He surveyed the rest of the field. (The Joker is still out cold, as are his thugs, as is- Jason's gone!) "The boy that was resurrected," Batman called, barely keeping his anxiety out of his voice. "Where is he?"
"I saw him get out of here," Anya told him. "He went that way." She pointed to another corridor.
"You didn't stop him."
"Um, that would be a no, because I was kind of preoccupied with staying out of the line of fire, because I'm human again, my magic skills are pretty rusty, and Xander was shot."
"Nightwing!" Nightwing came to join him. "I'm going after him. See to the others."
"Batman!" he heard Buffy call. He turned his head. "That leads to the emergency exits."
"Understood," he called back, but her voice stopped him.
"There are some things you should know. I died last summer, and I was brought back last fall. If he's anything like I was, he's gonna be out of it. Really out of it. Be gentle."
Batman nodded and went in the direction Anya pointed. He picked up Jason's trail very quickly after exiting the emergency exit. It ended by the highway. There was a figure sitting in the middle of the road. There were no incoming vehicles. He walked out into the road, and sat beside his son. Jason was likely skittish. (Removing him is an option, but Summers is probably right. I will talk him off of the road if I can.) They sat in silence for several moments.
"I'm not in Hell, am I?" Jason asked him quietly.
"No, you're not. How did you figure it out?"
"When I woke up, I looked around and saw the Joker lying there. I thought he was the Devil and that I had to listen to him, but if he was out cold then he couldn't be the Devil. He had to be the Joker. That meant that I'm alive."
"Yes."
"The Joker tortured me."
Batman felt a sharp surge of hatred towards to Joker. "Yes," he told Jason, managing to keep the emotion out of his voice.
"I thought God didn't want me anymore."
Batman didn't know how to answer. He had denied the existence of a caring God since he was eight years old. Meeting lunatics and metahumans in his adulthood made him further question the idea of faith. However, he had seen just enough in his life that could not be explained scientifically. There was magic. There were demons. He had served beside an angel in the League. Friends and enemies had come back from the dead.
"I was in Heaven." Jason's statement cut off any answer he could make. This was easier for him to answer to. There was a Hell, and symmetry (if not necessarily logic) demanded that there be a Heaven.
"I know," he said gently.
"I wanna go back." Jason said slowly. He turned to look at Batman, and he started to cry. "I wanna go back." The crying became sobbing. "I wanna go back!"
Batman felt his heart break. He didn't have an answer to his son's agony. Suddenly, he came to the horrifying realization that Jason's fate might depend on what he said and did next. He wasn't good with people. Alfred was good with people. Dick was. Clark was. Diana was. He most definitely was not. (Maybe I don't have to be good) he thought desperately. (Maybe I just have to be honest. That I can do.) "I don't want to lose you again, son," he said quietly. "Stay, please."
"No," Jason sobbed.
"Please, Jason!" Batman put everything he had into that plea.
"No!" Jason yelled.
Batman had a sudden burst of inspiration. 'Desperate' did not begin to cover the idea. It was unthinkable to do it this publicly. What lay before him was a desperate situation. He had to do it. He lifted his cowl off, and showed Bruce Wayne's face to the world. He turned to Jason. He put his hands on Jason's shoulders, and turned to look at his son's face.
"I don't want to lose you again," he repeated. Jason stopped sobbing and looked at him in shock. "I love you son." He wrapped the stunned Jason in an embrace. Jason hugged back, tentatively at first, but he soon tightened his grip. "Just, don't leave," he finished.
"I'll try," Jason finally said. "I'll try to stay."
"Good." He lifted Jason up and carried him off of the highway. He set Jason down, and pulled his cowl down. "Don't tell Nightwing about this." Batman put his hand on Jason's shoulder, and steered him back towards the emergency exit.
Doza: I'm glad that you still like it! Yes, regular updates are very important to me. I realize that personal stuff can get in the way of fanfic and regularly does and I don't blame the author's for that, but I have read too many unfinished fanfics for me to not try to update on a regular basis. By now, your questions about Darth Willow will have been answered, so I'll go to Oracle's reaction, if she ever finds out. It will depend on what she knows and when. If all she knows is that Dick and Buffy had sex then she would be (at least) very upset. If she knew the whole story she would still be furious but not at Dick or Buffy. It all depends on what she is initially told.
RogueFanKC: I'm also glad that I have a beta, and an excellent one :) You should be worried about Willow, but hopefully her experiences here have taught her a lesson! I have indeed seen Return of the Joker, and I was inspired by what the Joker did. About the sex: Selective amnesia would be nice, but when has anything ever gone that smoothly for Buffy or Dick? Like I told Doza: Oracle's initialreaction is going to depend on what she first finds out. I can guarantee that she will be furious with somebody no matter what, but the target will depend on what she discovers.
Allen Pitt: I remember that episode, so I wanted to throw in a little 'Easter Egg,' if you will re. Rasputin. You've seen what happened to the Ring- Spike cursed me out for that something fierce!- and I hear you about Darla. She was cool. As for the sequel: we'll see what happens.
Damia, Queen of the Gypsi's: I hope that this installment hascheered you up about Tara! I'm glad that you liked the story regardless!