Feb. 13

Dear Diary,

I still can't breathe through my nose because of my recent illness, but to be able to learn again instead of just rotting away alone in my bedroom, is completely worth it. Dudley beat up Harry again. It was upsetting. They don't even give him a chance. That ratty friend of his – I still can't remember his name – holds his hands behind his back while Dudley uses him as a punching bag. Poor Harry ended up with a swollen cheek and a very sore stomach.

I waited until that ugly brood left to hit others before trying to help. Harry pushed me away…I don't know why, but it upset me more than watching him turn into a tenderized steak. He angrily told me to leave him alone, and that he didn't need help from a girl. I'm so confused. I thought we were friends. I thought he liked me. I had hoped his recent distance from me would be resolved with my helping him, bit I was wrong. I hate being wrong.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Even though Harry seems to hate me now, I still plan on giving him a valentine. I doubt I will receive any, but somehow every year, my heart is hopeful. And every year my hopes are dashed when my box remains empty. I had been hoping this year would be different, but Harry's attitude towards me has me rethinking my earlier thoughts, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

I think I should describe my valentine. It's red (I thought he'd like it better than pink) and it's shaped like a heart. I trimmed it in lace from my mother's craft drawer and wrote "Happy Valentine's Day" in the middle in black marker. I'm quite surprised at myself. I was never really fond of arts and crafts, but I seem to be reasonably good at it. Before Harry's mood change towards me, I had planned on writing "Will you be my valentine?" but I reconsidered that choice. At this point, I doubt he even likes me, let alone likes me likes me. Does that make any sense? I hope so because I'm not sure how to put it any other way. I may be smart, but I am nowhere near worldly enough to fathom the intricate pattern of love. (I had to look up both fathom and intricate in the dictionary; I hear my parents use them all the time and thought they might me useful…)

On a different note, I haven't been able to sleep for the past few nights because something keeps scratching inside the walls. I think it's a mouse, but you can never be too sure about these things. I told Audry about the noise and she says she hears it too. At least I'm not alone in this. Audry isn't always such a git.

Oh, I almost forgot about dinner with the Dursley's. It wasn't very exciting any ways. Harry wasn't there. I assumed his horrible family locked him his cupboard for the night. The dinner was all right. Mr. Dursley talk about his drill company for a long time before telling jokes that weren't remotely funny. I didn't laugh and my mother kicked me in the shin. Apparently it's not polite to not laugh at a joke, even if it isn't funny in the least.

Afterwards we all went into the lounge where all the grown ups drank odd smelling drinks. My father and Mr. Dursley went out to the garage to look at their new car, while my mother and Mrs. Dursley gossiped about the neighbors. Dudley, Audry and I sat nearby and did nothing. Well, Audry began making shadow puppets on the wall and Dudley eventually turned on the television and ignored us completely. I got so bored that I asked to go to the bathroom three different times. Only the third needs to be written about because that time I didn't go to the loo, I went to talk to Harry. I found his cupboard easily – right under the stairs – but I couldn't stay long. The adults were already probably assuming I have a bladder infection.

I knocked quietly on the door. No one answered. I knocked again, afraid I had gotten the wrong cupboard, but this time there was an answer.

"I'm not making any noise!" I was slightly confused, until I realized that he probably thought it was his aunt or uncle coming there to harass him on a trivial matter.

"It's Rosy." I replied back. There was silence for a second and then,

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to make sure you were all right." He may have been treating me like I was diseased, but I still care for him. There was more silence.

"I'm fine." The tone wasn't mean, which made me sigh in relief, but it still sounded a little awkward. I was just about to ask if he was sure when he interjected.

"You'd better go…I don't want you getting in trouble." I smiled. He wasn't mad at me! At least I think he wasn't mad at me. Maybe it just sounded like he wasn't because the door was muffling his voice or something to that nature. I'm still more than confused. I pulled myself together long enough to whisper "Good night, Harry," through the wood door before rushing back to the lounge. I don't even know if he heard me.

When I returned, everyone was looking at me funny. Well, Audry was. Dudley was too busy watching television and the adults were still ignoring the children. Apparently, I had been away for quite a while. I had sat down without speaking to anyone.

I woke up the next morning – which was Saturday, so I could sleep in – having no idea how I had gotten home. According to my Mum, both Audry and I had fallen asleep at the Dursley's and Dad and Mr. Dursley carried us home. Dad carried me, luckily. I really didn't want that walrus of a man touching me. It gives me the shivers just thinking about it.

Nothing happened today. I slept in, finished my homework and the valentine I'm going to give Harry. I taunted Audry a bit about her being carried home by Mr. Dursley, but hat got old quite quick. I helped Mum do some of the housework and then took a long stroll around the neighborhood. It amazes me how many people could live in such a small area and still be exactly the same. Same houses with the same manicured lawns, same fake smiles upon the same pasty faces. Like I stated earlier in this diary, everyone here is boring and normal except for Mrs. Figg and Harry. Maybe I should put myself in this category, but I'm afraid that even if I am a little odd, I don't necessarily stick out. I should ponder this for a while…

I'll tell you how my valentine goes over tomorrow. Until then…good night.