Evangelion Fan Fiction
Life After
By Kraven Ergeist
Chapter Five
Ayanami stood, prone, still, and unmoving. She was wearing yet another combat suit, a strange divergent from her previous white suit. She was standing before a pool of reddish LCL – highly concentrated, bearing the semblance of blood in addition to its scent – the lifeblood of Unit-01, pooling from the tip of the Lance of Longinus that lay embedded in its core.
Shinji's eyes were red from tears and his entire body was shaking. His was on his hands and knees, gasping in disbelief at what he saw.
No… he thought. Rei is dead…I saw it happen! I felt it happen…
His hatred for his father – for what he has done to Rei…to Naomi…to himself and everyone he's known – grew like a boiling inferno of rage.
"YOU MONSTER!" he screamed, flinging himself at the commander. He knew that his father held the kill switch in his hand, and that he would just shut down the suit he wore. But he couldn't stand it anymore. He wasn't going to sit by and watch this demon hurt his friends any longer.
To Shinji's surprise, the Commander didn't press the kill switch. Instead, he allowed Shinji to throw the most powerful punch he could – and caught his fist with a single hand.
It was only then that Shinji recognized the black combat suit under his uniform.
"Humanity is entering into a new age, Shinji…" Gendo said, calmly. "These suits can keep us alive long after death. Human beings are about to be become a race of immortals."
Shinji just stared at him in disbelief.
"Don't you find it staggering?" Gendo laughed. "To be equipped with something that will preserve you forever? Even when the body dies, the suit will keep your mind in direct control over your bodily functions. Ideally…one who wears an LCL Combat Suit can live forever."
"That's insane!" Misato shouted from behind. "The population would double overnight!"
"Only a select few will be permitted to wear these suits – a few million, perhaps – and the rest shall be destroyed," Dr. Ibuki explained. The container of Ritsuko, preserved by her plug suit, had her arms placed over her shoulders. "Human reproduction will be stifled – used only to replace those lost because of accidents or irregularities that might result in death – and the human race will benefit from the incalculable wisdom available only to the immortal."
"And what about the rest of the human race?" Asuka demanded. "You're just gonna wipe them out?"
"They are a necessary loss," Maya smiled.
"Maya, you've gone mad!" Misato exclaimed.
"You shut up!" Dr. Ibuki yelled. "I don't want to here you spout of moral garbage! I used to believe in the principles that you do – and it got me nowhere! The only way for me to be free of my pain is to do this."
Misato glared. "You can't be serious!"
"What if it were Kaji being brought back, huh?"
That made Misato shut up. What the…? Damn it! I just don't know! What would I do? I mean…could I really bring myself to let him go…to save a world full of people I don't know?
"What about Naomi?" Shinji yelled out, tears in his eyes. "Why couldn't she be saved?"
"Her suit was of an earlier design," Gendo frowned. "Her purpose was to test out the model. Eventually, we discovered that it would not preserve the life of the wearer – much to the contrary, as a matter of fact. By then, however, we had perfected our model."
"And you just let it drain her life away?" Shinji demanded. "You've been in contact with me – why didn't you tell me? I could have saved her!"
Gendo smiled. "We still needed you to test our final model. You and your fellow comrades. After we finished the design, we needed you, Miss Katsuragi, to bring the children to us. So, we had ZELLE "find you out" and eliminate your comrades whom we've allowed to "spy" on us. Then, I came to you as the leader of KERN and recruited you for that very job. Now, you've delivered all three test suits to me – all of which have been proven effective and combat ready. And just in time to watch the final part of my plan unfold."
Misato glared at the commanded with hatred in her eyes. "Which is…?"
Gendo smiled. "I will live on forever, Miss Katsuragi – you will too, provided you and the children behave yourselves – and I will not live on alone." He turned his gaze to Shinji. "Why can't you be happy, son? Our family will live on forever after I'm through. All this time, you've longed for your mother. Now…that wish will finally come true."
Shinji's eyes opened wide. He turned to see Rei staring up at the body of Unit 01, and saw the red-yellow LCL pooled at her feet.
"… Her soul was preserved in the LCL that surrounded Lillith…" his father had said.
Shinji gasped under his breath. "…What?"
Gendo smiled. "Yui will come back to us. All these years, she has been watching over you, her soul ever present in the blood of Unit 01. Rei will enter the pool of LCL that came from Unit 01. The LCL will seep into her suit, and meld with her. While Rei's soul is still present in her plug suit, once the ratio of their respective LCL content tips…her body will no longer be inhabited by Rei Ayanami…but by Yui Ikari."
Asuka gasped. "This is your plan? To bring back your dead wife?"
Gendo returned her fiery stare. "And if it were your own mother? Or Mister Kaji? Would you still be so quick to cast aside this line of action?"
Asuka, confounded by her insaneness, found herself at a loss for words.
"We all suffer from the loss of those around us," Gendo said. "My plan is to do away with that loss. In time…we may even be able to tap into the souls of those who weren't even in contact with LCL at the time of their death…and bring back those who have died long ago. Don't you see? This is the solution to sadness and grief. We are all familiar with it. Why be plagued by it, when science has allowed us to prevent it almost fully?"
"Is it…" Shinji stammered. "Is it truly eternal?"
Gendo cast his gaze towards his son. "What?"
Shinji stood up from his beaten position. "How can you possibly know that this method of yours lasts forever? At best, you've only been testing these suits for less than ten years. At best, a human being can live to be 120 years old. These suits may help us live to be a thousand…a million…a billion years old…but eventually, the suits will fail. Nothing, living or not, lasts forever, father. This is a fact that I've come to accept during my time away from NERV. It's a fact you must accept too."
"Shinji's right!" Asuka added. "The suits were made by man. When has anything man has made ever lasted forever?"
"Human beings are supposed to die, Commander!" Misato shouted. "Life is meant to be brief! That's what makes it so precious!"
"Enough!" Gendo sneered. "If it is your belief that humans must die…then you may be the first!"
With a single action, Gendo pressed the kill switch. All three suits shut down. Shinji, burdened by the awesome weight of his suit, crumpled to the floor.
With a single action, Gendo raised pistol towards Asuka, aiming it directly at her forehead.
No…Shinji blinked. He's going to kill her!
With a single action, he pulled the trigger, sending a bullet flying towards her face.
I can't move! I can't do anything! Damn it! What am I supposed to do?
With a single action, Shinji placed himself between Asuka and the bullet's path.
The bullet bounded harmlessly off his armor.
"What?" the Commander gasped. "His plug suit's operational! Dr. Ibuki! Explain this!"
As Maya listed of innumerable reasons as to why what just transpired should not have done so, Shinji was trying to figure out how he had done what he had just done.
"Wha…?"
I would do anything for you, Master… he heard a voice say. You know that, right?
Shinji's eyes flew open. "NAOMI?"
Yes, Master…now come, let us help Miss Ayanami and the others.
Shinji's mind tore itself apart, trying to find answers.
Then it hit him.
"The LCL!" he exclaimed. "When I broke through the glass and grabbed you…the LCL washed over me! It was still a part of you, even if your suit was failing. Once your body died, your…your soul found its way to my suit, which can harbor a soul!" Shinji clutched his heart. "You're still with me, Naomi! You're still watching over me! You're still protecting me!"
Before his father could react, Shinji had plowed into him, ripping the kill switch from his grip. He reactivated Asuka and Misato's suits, before crushing the control in his hand.
"Misato! Asuka! Get Rei!" he commanded.
"No!" Gendo declared, grabbing Shinji and throwing him straight against a wall fifty feet away. "Akagi! Ibuki! Restrain them!"
Ritsuko and Maya obeyed, rushing to intercept Misato and Asuka.
Misato confronted Ritsuko in a catfight to end all catfights. They were wresting each other, matched in strength and speed, their arms locked and pinned together in fierce combat.
"Misato…do you truly mean what you say? Would you refuse Kaji's return? Would you have me – you're best friend – return to hell?"
"You're dead, Ritsuko!" Misato cried. "That's a fact we both have to accept!"
Ritsuko sneered, throwing Misato back.
"Who is he bringing back for you, Ritsu?" Misato demanded. "Is it Naoko?"
"I don't need him to bring back anyone, Misato," she retorted. "It's enough that I may be with him."
"But he won't be with you. He'll be with Yui!"
Ritsuko started, dropping her guard. Misato saw an opening, and landed a lethal blow, shorting the suits life support battery.
"Misato…" Ritsuko sobbed. "I'm sorry…I've been so blind…so conceited…"
Misato shook her head. "We have to end this…now!"
Ritsuko nodded, and, limping, followed Misato to where Asuka and Maya were fighting.
"You can't possibly understand my pain, Asuka!" Maya shrieked, her combat suit giving her equal strength to Asuka, a fiery rage in her eyes. "I am nothing without her, Asuka! I will do anything to keep her alive!"
Asuka grimaced. "Would you just listen to yourself? Have some self-respect, Maya! When those we love die, it may be sad, but you can't let it cripple you! The dead shouldn't be able to control the living!"
Maya shook her head. "I don't care what you think, Asuka. I won't let Sempai die!"
"Maya…that's enough," came the voice of her love.
Instantly, Maya stopped fighting. "Sempai! You… Oh my god! Your suit! The life support battery has been knocked out! Hurry! We have to-"
"No, Maya, stop," Ritsuko ordered.
"W-what?"
"We have to stop this," Ritsuko said. "We've been blinded by our own foolish hopes and desires. We have to do what's right, Maya. Living forever with those we love is not worth twisting human life in order to attain it."
"But Sempai…"
"Enough, Maya…I know how you feel about me, but you must let me go. Don't you see? Human life is only important because of how fleeting it is. As a scientist, as a woman…as a human being, you must understand this!"
Maya allowed the professor to embrace her, as tears fell from her eyes.
"Sempai…I'm so sorry…I couldn't…"
"Hush, Maya…we still have a job to do…"
Misato approached, gently placing her hand on Maya's shoulder. "We have to help Shinji…if we can't, Rei will…"
"I don't want t even think about it!" Asuka piped. "Let's just make sure it doesn't happen!"
Everyone nodded and rushed to where Gendo stood.
By the time they reached the Commander, Shinji had returned, locking him into a bear hug grip.
"I won't let you do this, father!" Shinji shouted.
"Remove yourself from me, Shinji!" Gendo commanded. "Rei! Enter the LCL!"
"Yes sir," she replied, quietly.
"Rei, no!" Shinji screamed. "Don't do it!"
"Do not disobey me, First Child! Enter the pool!"
"Please, Rei!"
Rei hesitated, her foot barely above the pool.
"Rei, I command you to enter the pool!"
"You can't do it, Rei! You just can't!"
"Rei, if ever I needed your cooperation more than any time before, now is that time! Enter the pool!"
"Rei, STOP!"
It was too late. Rei had pitched herself forward. Her center of gravity shifted, and she fell face first into…
A blur of red suddenly swooped by.
…into Asuka's outstretched arms.
"Hey, Wonder Girl…" Asuka smiled.
In reply, Rei broke out of Asuka's arms, striking her firmly in the chest, sending her crashing backwards.
Asuka huffed, leaping towards her, prepared to fight.
But Rei's aim was not to fight, but to reach the LCL and submerge herself into it.
Asuka managed to reach her and get a solid grip on her. "Hey, you stupid doll! I'm talking to you! If you want to just do whatever the Commander tells you to do, that's fine! But you're going to have to go through me to do it!"
Rei didn't respond. Instead, she tugged her arm, trying to get free, wriggling herself, desperately trying to release Asuka's hold.
"No…" Gendo grimaced. "I've been denied for so long…I will not be denied again!"
Gendo finally managed to break free of Shinji's monstrous deadlock, hurdling towards his hope, slamming Asuka away.
"Now!" the Commander shouted at Rei. "Go!"
That was all he could get before Misato and Maya both grabbed him, holding him down. Neither, however could do anything to stop Rei.
That's when Shinji interposed himself.
"Rei! Stop!"
Rei said nothing. Instead, she strafed along the coast, trying to find a way past him. Shinji, however, kept pace with her, preventing her from entering.
"Rei, please! Listen to me! You have to stop this now!"
He received only silence in return; her soul was already so diminished, that she could scarcely think.
"Please, Rei!" Shinji hollered. "Think for yourself! Do you really want to die just to be a vessel for someone else? Must it really come to that? Just because you feel as if you must obey my father?"
Rei's eyes were unwaveringly on her target.
"Rei…" Shinji sobbed. "I've known you for so long! I don't want to see you disappear! I don't want to see you get sucked away! And I don't want to see you do it just because you were my father's doll!"
Rei blinked.
"So please, Rei…just STOP!"
Rei stopped running.
Shinji stopped running.
Both stood still, staring at each other.
"Ikari…" Rei said, finally.
"I'm here, Rei…I'm here…"
Gendo stared in disbelief as his one and only hope embraced with his son, and forsook his word.
"NO!" he blared.
With a powerful burst of strength, he shook free of Misato and Maya's grip. Then a cold grip shot into his back.
"Hello, Commander," Ritsuko's cool voice said. "I think it's about time this came to an end."
Gendo looked down.
Ritsuko's hand had punched into his back, through his suit and out his chest. The life support battery between his shoulder blades was shattered.
"Akagi…" Gendo gasped. "Defiant to the last…"
She pulled her hand from his body. "And finally free."
Gendo coughed up blood, and sputtered. "Sorry to disappoint you…but I had different plans in mind…"
With a feat of will power, unfathomable in his state, he rushed the embracing couple by the shore, plowing into them hard.
"Shinji!"
"Rei!"
"Commander!"
"No!"
The momentum carried all three off the edge and into the LCL.
xxxxx
Shinji kicked his father away from them, his arms still around Rei's body.
Forgive me, Ayanami… he thought, silently.
In a single action, he ripped the life support battery off her back.
The commander's lifeless body drifted away. With his battery dead, the LCL could not fuse with his suit. And with Rei's battery gone, that left only one suit for Yui's soul to inhabit.
Who is there? A voice muttered.
Master? I feel strange. Something is trying to displace me.
Shinji… The voice said. Can it really be you?
Master, help me! I'm disappearing!
Stop it, both of you! Shinji growled. Mother…I've missed you terribly…but it's too late for you to come back. I've had to let you go, Mom…and I can't accept you now.
Shinji…
No… It's good to speak with you one last time…but I have to say goodbye; Naomi…you too.
Master?
This sick, twisted charade of life cannot be allowed to contain you. You…deserve better than that.
Master…
Naomi…couldn't you…just this once…call me by name?
…Alright…Shinji…
I love you, Naomi…
Oh, Shinji…I love you too!
Goodbye, Naomi…my loyal companion…
Goodbye…Shinji…
xxxxx
"Breathe!"
Shinji felt a sudden, sharp pain in chest, and a pair of lips pressed against his. Then, he coughed up a mouthful of water, and sat up suddenly.
"He's alive!" The redheaded resuscitator yelped.
Shinji opened his eyes, and saw Asuka and Misato kneeling over him, staring hard at his face. They had rescued both him and Rei from the LCL.
"Oh Shinji!" Misato gasped, collapsing over him.
"Misato…" he muttered. "I…I…Rei's suit…I removed the battery…she's dying…I had to…It was the only…"
Misato sobbed. "Yes, Shinji…you did the right thing…"
Misato let Shinji up to see Rei lying beside him, still somehow clinging to life.
"Ikari…" she muttered.
"Rei…" Shinji sobbed. "I'm sorry…but I had no other choice…"
Rei nodded. "I understand, Ikari…and I thank you…"
Shinji broke down, collapsing into a river of tears, as he clutched her dying body.
"Oh, Rei…after everything I did…I couldn't even save you…"
She sighed, placing her hand on his cheek. "Yes you have, Ikari…yes you have…"
Shinji said nothing as Rei's body became cold in his arms.
He stood, after a while, his tears spent and worn.
"I'm sorry, Shinji," Asuka muttered. "I'm sorry you had to…experience it again…"
Shinji sniffed back his tears. "It's okay…I think I'm okay now."
Misato placed her hands on Shinji's shoulders. "You aren't the only one…"
Shinji looked on, and saw Maya crying over Ritsuko's body.
The three of them stepped over to her, Asuka placing a hand on her shoulder.
"You can still honor her by atoning for your sins, Maya," Asuka said. "I think she would want it."
Maya stood up after a while, before turning. "Yes…I think she would."
xxxxx
The complete and total destruction of the Geo-Front was a site to be seen. Once they had left, Maya had triggered the facility's self destruct mechanism, which in turn, shook the Earth's crust enough to let lava spill, engulfing the entire city in hot magma.
Hovering over the volcanic eruption in the VERSTAND VTOL, Shinji, Misato, Asuka and Maya watched as their companions were laid to their final resting place.
They had each removed their combat suits almost instantly upon their return. They were placed into the VTOL's cold storage room until they could be taken to VERTAND for deconstruction.
"I still wonder if we made the right decision," Shinji said. They were all wrapped in towels, having worn nothing beneath their suits. "You know…about living forever? Maybe my father had the right idea. Maybe living forever would take away all the hardships we have to deal with in life. Certainly, we could gain considerable wisdom from an infinite lifespan. I don't know…did we make the right decision?"
Misato patted him on the back. "If human beings could live forever…they would stop being human beings."
Maya nodded. "There are certain sins, certain temptations…they can sound so appealing…but if you think it all the way through, you can come to realize that they are inherently wrong."
Shinji nodded. "You're right."
xxxxx
Asuka was strangely silent as the VTOL sped away to Germany. She had seen Shinji's connection with so many people that day. She was fraught with strange inclination that Shinji would be better off with any one of them.
Misato is such a smart, caring person…and she's practically a mother to him. Naomi and Rei were so close to him, meant so much to him, and were so attached to him…it makes me look like a nobody. Even Maya treats him the way he deserves to be treated. What good am I to him?
She turned her gaze to him; he looked so much the way Rei used to, his attention fixed on some lost point outside his window. She couldn't deny the inherent longing she felt for him – not that she'd admit it to him, of course. But how was she to act on it? More importantly, how would he? Could he, after everything that's happened? Did she have a right to ask it of him after all this?
"Asuka?" Shinji asked.
Asuka practically jumped out of her chair. "What?"
"You've been staring at me for the past minute," Shinji said. "Is something wrong?"
Asuka blinked. "Oh…I have? Sorry, I was…my mind was wandering…"
Shinji nodded. "Okay."
Asuka got up and sat by him.
"Things will get better, Shinji, don't worry," Asuka assured.
Shinji nodded. "I hope so. It's just that…well…things just seem so empty now…"
Asuka hesitated before wrapping her arms around him.
"Asuka…? What…?"
"Shh…" Asuka hushed. "Can you just let me stay like this for a while?"
Shinji blinked to make sure his eyes weren't fooling him. "Umm…sure…"
They both stayed that way, gazing out the window, over the sea.
"Shinji?" Asuka asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do you mind…if I stay over again tonight? I don't…I don't want to have to be alone again."
Shinji stared hard at the girl who, before, never revealed her weaknesses. Shinji chided himself – just because she didn't reveal her weaknesses didn't mean they weren't still visible. Shinji had known her long enough to see them. And now, they were just too many and too heavy for her to contain.
Shinji tightened his grip around her. "I'd…I'd like that."
xxxxx
One week later…
Asuka and Shinji awoke in each other's arms. The midmorning sun cast a gentle glow over the room, lighting up their house and their lives.
The two emerged to greet the day, lightheartedly going about their morning activities, before descending to the breakfast room where a troubling amount of smoke was pouring into from the kitchen.
"Uhh…Misato? Is everything alright in there?" Shinji called.
"Oh!" Misato's voice could be heard stammering. "Y-yes, Shinji! Everything's fine!"
"You've ruined breakfast again, haven't you?" Shinji sighed.
"Define 'ruined.'"
With her past occupation no longer existent, Shinji was giving Misato a trial offer as his new housekeeper.
As decision that, based on past experience, was not the smartest move.
The doorbell rang, and Misato answered the door. "Oh, hi Maya!"
"Hello, Misato…are Shinji and Asuka ready?"
"Just a moment, let me-"
"We're ready," Shinji said, as he and Asuka stepped out.
The four of them made their way to a limo waiting for them. The limo climbed the same hill Naomi made the fearless leap off of. Only this time, there would be no ZELLE attackers chasing after them
Upon their return, VERSTSAND had been informed of ZELLE's and KERN's influences. Thankfully, Maya had full access to everything, and with her help, VERSTAND quickly resolved the matter. The "Cell" and "Nucleus" organizations were no more, as were the suits that they had influenced VERSTAND into making.
Shinji, Asuka, Misato, and Maya stood above three graves. Besides the tombstone marked KYOKO ZEPPELIN SORYU was RITSUKO AKAGI and REI AYANAMI and GENDO IKARI.
No words were said; they just stood there, silently revering their fallen companions, mourning their loss, and thanking their influence.
And as the sun continued to rise in the eastern sky, they each stood stall, knowing that they would go on for as long as they could. The dead would continue to rest; it was best to give them the peace in which to do so.
Humans die - it's part of life. But those that survive are meant to go on and continue. It is enough that they remember those lost, and honor their memory by learning from their mistakes, upholding their beliefs and wishes, and continuing the circle.
People usually die as they have lived. Heroes die heroically, and cowards die cowardly.
xxxxx
A/N: Well, I'm finally finished. Too tired to write more. Tell me what you think.