Gibbs POV
I sipped my black coffee and sat solemly at my desk. I wanted to hear the normal noise of the office, but with Kate gone, who was Tony supposed to argue with? Their bantering was gone and with that came silence. Pure and deafening. I had always longed for this peace and relaxation, but with the price I had to pay, I would give it all back. I needed the screaming, yelling, laughing, tattling... I needed it all. It was like a part of my day. Almost as neccassary as my coffee. It was an addiction and without it, I was crumbling.
I hadn't shed a tear. I had to be strong for my team, show them that life goes on... even though Kate's wouldn't. Everytime I felt tears sting my eyes, I would stubbornly hold them back and wipe the single one with my sleeve, before it had a chance to fall. Losing a friend was never easy. It wasn't supposed to be, but never before had it been this hard.
I stood up and walked over to her space. Cleaning out her desk was one of the most gruesome punishments of my life. It showed me a side of Kate that I had never seen. In her little corner were all her personal things... things that I was not meant to see, but I did. Of course there were the female things that scared the hell out of me, such as tampons, pads, mascara... I quickly closed that drawer, writing a mental note to myself to get those things later. Then there was her file drawer. Full of tons of papers and thorough reports of crime scenes and victims. I scanned over a few more things and then I noticed her sketch pad. I almost opened it, but realized that it wasn't my place. I was close to Kate, but I knew that Abby or Tony deserved this more. I would save it for one of them.
Quickly, I ran a hand through my silver hair. God, there were so many memories. My favorite being the time Kate thought I was either firing her or making her go under cover as Tony's wife. Her face... priceless.
Then I remembered seeing her after Ari had kidnapped her. I had been so relieved. No. Why did I have to think of that one? It brought back the worst memory of them all... watching her die... instantly before my very eyes.
I swear I will kill that bastard.