"Yeah? Well how long did it take you to dust your first?" Faith asked. Angel winced at the question, and Xander's eyes dropped.
"About half a second," he said, sadly.
Faith noticed his dampened mood. "What was it?" she asked, softly.
Xander coughed. "My uh. My friend… my best friend, Jesse."
Faith frowned.
"He got… the night Buffy came to town, Willow and Jesse got taken by a couple of vampires. Jesse was drawn in by Darla."
"You mean –" Faith said, looking to Angel. Angel nodded solemnly.
"So, she and this other guy took them to a crypt. Buffy found me, and we followed them. She fought Darla, and me, Jess and Will escaped. We were running away. Buffy came out after a few, and we started off, but we got jumped by a few vamps on the way out of the cemetery. Jesse got taken in the scuffle. Next night at the Bronze, I saw him, and while Buffy was fighting this huge guy, um…"
"Luke," Angel filled in.
"Right, him," Xander said. "I was talking to Jesse, trying to convince him he could get better. Stupid, but what did I know at that point? Anyway, he was standing there, trying to convince me he was better. So there we are, me with my stake up to his chest, but I think I'm getting through to him. But suddenly, this girl who's running for her life… she, she trips and knocks into him. He gets thrown forward and onto my stake. Stays alive just long enough for this look of utter shock and betrayal to show up, then he falls to dust. And that was it. That was my first kill."
"Damn," Faith said.
The basement door opened, and the team trudged out, exhausted and beaten to hell.
"He dead?" Angel asked.
Hondo nodded as the team collapsed on the couches. Bruises were starting to form in some places, and shirts were ragged. Eliza left Dawn and the game they were playing. She walked to her mother's prone form and hugged the woman, bringing a smile to her face.
"Good job," Angel said, standing and walking over to them. "How many times did you miss the heart?"
Various numbers were called out from the group, the highest being six, from Deke.
"I tried throwing it," Sanchez said.
"Yeah," said Oz. "That's really not as easy as TV makes it look."
"Who had the killing blow?" Xander asked.
"I did," Boxer said.
"Good," said Xander. "Now you know where to aim."
"Okay, this is good," Angel said, clasping his hands together. "I'm glad you did well."
"You call a six-on-one that took that long 'doing well'?" Hondo asked.
"Yeah, I do," said Angel. "None of you are dead, I don't see any broken bones, and you got the job done. Sounds good to me."
"We're supposed to be trained fighters," Sanchez said. Eliza climbed up onto the couch, using Street as a hand hold, and sat on her mother's stomach.
"And you are," said Faith. "Just not like us. I'm willing to bet each and every one of you could take us on a shooting range, and we don't know the first thing about cleaning and maintaining guns. That's the world you live in, that makes sense. We live in a different one. We have different skills. In time, we'll teach you."
"Right," Angel said. "We'll take a few minutes, tend to your more serious wounds, then it's back down to the basement. We've got one more show for you, and I think you'll like it a bit more."
Dawn and Xander broke out the first aid kit and bandaged up the worst of the cuts. Then, amid various groans and grumblings, and not a few muttered curses, the team followed Angel, Faith, Oz and Xander back down the basement, where they leaned up against the wall to support themselves.
"Okay, now you've seen how to kill a vampire. Not fun, right?" Angel asked.
They glared at him.
"So do you want to have some fun? You wanna see Xander get tested?" Angel asked.
Xander looked up, surprised. "What? Me?"
Sanchez and Deke shared a smile.
"Don't worry, you can handle it," Angel said. He then slipped into the back room.
"And if not," Oz said, "then check it, new opening. And I need a job."
The SWAT team looked at the short man oddly.
"Well it's better than hummus," he said. Xander laughed.
"Lady and gentlemen," Faith said, clasping her hands in front of her and very much playing the MC, "for your entertainment pleasure today, we have for you Alexander Harris, police officer and SWAT member extraordinaire. With seven years of demon-killing under his belt, Xander is one of the most experienced demon hunters in the world."
Angel brought another vampire out of the back. This one wasn't growling, but rather looking at everybody in the room, sizing them up. This vampire wore no shirt, and was bristling with muscles.
"He looks kinda like Brad Pitt," said Sanchez. "You know, if he'd been hit with the ugly stick a few thousand times."
Xander turned to Angel. "How old is this guy?" he asked.
"Ask him," Angel said.
Xander shrugged. "How old are you?"
"I was born in 1953," the vampire said, snarling at the young cop. "And I was reborn twenty-seven years later by the glorious William the Bloody."
Xander's eyes went wide. "Your sire was Spike?" he asked. A grin crossed his features. His team looked worried.
Without any further questions, Xander slipped out of his shirt and flung it to Faith, who caught it, balled it up and dropped it on the table.
"Stake?" Xander asked.
Angel reached into his pocket and tossed Xander his weapon. Xander considered it for a moment, then shrugged.
"You ready?" Angel asked.
Xander nodded. Angel released the vampire's collar and backed away. Xander set himself for the fight, as did his opponent. The vampire tensed and sprung – at Boxer. He found Faith in suddenly in front of him.
"No," Faith said. "You go for these guys, you dance with me." She pointed to Xander. "He's your fight."
The vampire growled, but nodded and backed up to its previous spot. And suddenly the fight was on. The vampire lashed out at Xander with its fist, which Xander deftly deflected, following up with a powerful kick to its torso. The vampire grabbed Xander's foot and shoved him away, following and landing a hard blow to his face, opening a cut on Xander's lip.
Xander recovered quickly, and went back on the offensive, landing a series of brutal punches on the vampire's torso and face, staggering it, before deciding to fight dirty and kicking him squarely in the groin. The vampire gasped, and lashed out with his fist, backing Xander up.
The vamp bared its fangs and growled. Xander surprised him by growling right back and rushing him. Surprised, the vampire was barely able to dodge out of the way as Xander attacked with renewed fervor. Xander brought his left arm up over his head, preparing to bring his fist down on the vampire. With lightning quick speed, the vampire raised both of its arms to block.
And like that, the fight was over. Xander kept his right arm out in front of him for a second before dropping both arms to his side and backing up.
"Is it just me," Deke said, eyes blinking in disbelief, "or did Harris just kill a vampire with a pencil?"
"It's not you," Sanchez said. "I saw it too."
"And in way less time than it took us," said Hondo. "Damn, kid. You're a fighter."
Xander shrugged. "It's what we do."
"Okay," Angel said. "I think we can quit the physical stuff for today. We have just one more thing we need you guys to do, so if you'll follow us up to the lounge…"
"The lounge?" Xander asked.
"You have to be joking," Hondo said.
"Nope," replied Angel.
"No, seriously," Street said. "You're joking."
"I'm not."
"Angel…" Xander started.
"Hey, I'm just taking precautions," Angel said.
"I've gotta earn my keep somehow, sweetcheeks," Lorne said. He was leaning back in a plush chair sipping a Seabreeze.
"I don't think that you really need to do this," Xander said.
"Maybe not," Angel said. "But we've been burned a few times, and I'm not going to risk it."
"I don't get it," Boxer said. "We're just supposed to… sing?"
"It's not quite that simple," Xander said. "Lorne here is an anagogic demon."
"Anawhosit?" Boxer asked.
"Anagogic," Xander said. "He reads peoples destinies, intentions, puts them on their paths if they've strayed. And he tells us if people are trying to kill us sometimes, which is why I don't think this is necessary."
"It probably isn't," Angel said. "I hope it isn't. But it's better to be safe."
"Now don't worry, kids," Lorne said. "I won't tell these guys anything secret unless you're planning on murdering or hurting them. Anything else I can tell you stays only with you."
Angel nodded. "So. Who's up first?"
The entire team sang. Deke chose what was to him a classic – "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J.
"How you can live with yourself calling that music, I will never know" Lorne said after a few verses, "but that's fine. You're good."
"That's it?" Deke said. "I'm done."
"Yeah yeah," Lorne said. "No problem."
"What about my destiny?" Deke asked.
Lorne shrugged. "Sometimes there's no reading."
"You mean I'm not special," Deke said.
"Oh, not at all," said Lorne. "What it means is that you have no absolute destiny. There's nothing set in stone about your future. You're free to do as you will. You're freer than any of these poor chumps has ever been," he said, waving his arm to where Angel, Faith, Oz and Xander were sitting.
"But the other news is, you're fine. I don't sense any evil at all, which means you are good to go."
"All right," Deke said, nodding and sitting down. "So who's next?"
Street got up on the stage, made his choice on the karaoke machine, and participated in an enthusiastic, if not particularly good, rendition of "Welcome to the Jungle," by Guns 'n' Roses.
"Okay, okay, okay," Lorne said. "You can stop as well. Angelcakes, he's fine. But Jimbo, let's have a word, shall we?"
"Really?" Street asked.
"Yeah, come on, we haven't got all day."
"Yeah we do," Xander said. "What the hell else is going on? It's not like you've got a club anymore."
Lorne glared at Xander.
"Sorry, Adama," Xander said.
Hondo let out a short bark of laughter. "Adama. I get it."
Street followed Lorne off into a corner of the room, where they spoke in hushed tones for a few moments.
"Listen, son, I'm not big on the relationship advice, because no matter what, they so rarely work out well. For you, I'm going to make an exception, because I think it's important. I'd do the same thing for Babyface over there if I thought there was a chance he'd listen."
"Babyface?" Street asked.
"Yeah, Xander, but he's too stubborn to listen to me on that. But we're here to talk about you. You've got a special girl in your life, and you're not doing anything about it. Why is that?"
"I don't know who –"
"Yes you do. I can see it in you right now. Take the chance, bucko. It'll pay off in the long run. Got it?"
Street nodded.
"Good!" Lorne said, slapping him on the back and walking back to his chair. "Whose turn is it now?"
Hondo stood. "Guess I might as well get this over with," he said. Hondo chose "Let the Circle Be Unbroken," by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.
Lorne waved Hondo off, stopping the man before the song ended. He gave Angel the thumbs up. Angel nodded.
"You've got a wonderful voice. You should sing more often. Other than that, I have just one thing to say to you," Lorne said. "And this can be said in front of everyone."
"Yeah?" Hondo asked as he stepped down off the stage.
"Keep doing what you're doing, career-wise and things will work out to your satisfaction," Lorne said. "Other than that, can't say anything."
"Sounds good to me," Hondo said. "Boxer, you're up."
Boxer sighed. "Do we really have to do this?"
"No," Angel said. "You're welcome to just go home."
Xander held up a hand to Angel. "We've all done it at some point," he said to Boxer. "And we don't actually think any of you are evil, it's just, well, like Angel said. We've been burned before."
Boxer sighed again and scrolled through the choices on the screen. He was surprised to find a song he knew, from an old western he hadn't seen in a while, but knew the lyrics to the song well.
He got about three lines into "I Was Born Under a Wand'rin Star," before Lorne stopped him.
"Oh, god, let it stop," Lorne cried. "Oh stars in heaven that's painful."
"Hey, you're the one who wanted us to sing," Boxer said, defensively. "I never said I could sing fer shit."
"Honey, you make Lee Marvin sound good," Lorne said, holding his head. "Okay. You're not evil. Not that we expected you to be, although your voice might be qualified as a danger to mankind."
"Lorne…" Xander warned.
"Sorry," he said. "Let's talk for a minute, huh? Angel, be a cupcake and fill up my glass?"
"Didn't I ask you to stop calling me pastries?" Angel muttered, before taking the demon's glass and pouring a refill from the drink mixer.
Lorne led Boxer to the corner of the room.
"Okay, listen, you've got to get rid of some of this anger. I know where it's coming from, I know how it feels, trust me. But if you keep letting your anger boil, it's going to eat you up. Let go of it."
"He was a good friend," Boxer said.
"I know, sugar," Lorne said. "And he betrayed you. And you feel bad, as you should, and you're angry at him, and you're angry at yourself for not seeing it, but there is nothing that you can do. Let your anger out, or it's going to get you killed."
Boxer took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay," he said.
Lorne pulled a card out of his pocket and wrote something on the back. "Listen, this is the number of a guy I know. He's good with this type of thing, if you're open to meditation. When it's getting hard, give him a call. He can help."
Boxer nodded.
"And don't be afraid to talk to your teammates. They can help."
Lorne left the man standing there looking at the card.
"Okay," he said. "I think we're ready for you, sweetie."
Sanchez frowned. "I don't really know any songs."
"Really?" Lorne asked. "Nothing? Not even one?"
"Well," she said. "Maybe one."
Sanchez stood in front of her colleagues. She was not normally a nervous woman, but she had never sung for anybody except her daughter. Sanchez closed her eyes, pictured her daughter in bed at night, and sang. Her song was "Baby, Mine," from Dumbo.
Lorne sat in his chair, leaning forward, his palm clasped over his mouth, and tears in his eyes.
"Oh, honey," he said, shaking his head. He waved the young woman forward, and when she arrived at his chair, he stood and hugged her, before leading her over to the corner.
"You okay?" Xander asked Faith, who was wiping some wetness from her eyes.
"Mom used to sing me that," she whispered, so soft Xander almost didn't hear. Xander smiled softly at the young woman, wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Faith sniffled a little. "Thanks," she said, wrapping her own arm around his waist. It occurred to her that nobody, not even Robin, had just held her like that out of friendship. She hadn't let anyone in enough. It felt good.
Across the room, Lorne was talking to a less confident than usual Chris Sanchez.
"Sweetie, you're doing fine," he said. "Your daughter is a sweet young girl, and she's going to grow up to be an amazing woman. She's going to be fine. You're doing right by her."
Sanchez smiled at the demon. "Yeah?" she asked.
"Cross my heart," he said. "And the other thing you worry about? Don't, honey. There will be another good one, who won't hurt you. Who won't hit you."
Sanchez looked up at him.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I see what I see. You're not going to have to cover anything up, unless it's gotten in the line of duty. And if you ever, and I mean ever find yourself in that situation, any one of those guys over there will be more than happy to take care of it, if you don't yourself. And I mean violently take care of it. But more than that, you are a strong woman. Don't forget that."
Sanchez nodded. Lorne smiled, leaned forward and kissed the young woman on her forehead and walked back to the rest of the group.
"Okay, folks, we're all good here. Big surprise, none of you is evil," Lorne said.
"I could have told you that," muttered Boxer.
"All right," Angel said. "Who wants food?"
The whole team grinned.
"Man, how do you cook so good?" Deke asked.
"I've had a couple hundred years," Angel said.
"The first hundred and fifty of which you spent eating raw human," Xander said.
"Yeah," said Angel. "But, I've been cooking for… four years, I guess. And I guess I'm just good at it."
"It's the taste," Xander said. "He doesn't have any, so he listens to what people like. Makes it work."
"Well, whatever it is, it's damn good," Hondo said. "We might have to start coming here more often."
"Well, then I might have to start charging you," Angel said, smiling.
"Hey," Street said. "Something just occurred to me."
"What's that?" Sanchez asked.
"We all sang today, right?"
"That's where we just came from," said Hondo.
"Well, Harris never sang."
"Hey, that's right!" Deke said.
"But I'm not evil. Lorne's read me enough, he doesn't need to hear me sing again."
"He may have heard you," Hondo said, "but we haven't. And it's only fair. Fight as a team, sing as a team."
"But I have nothing to be checked for," Xander protested.
"Except to see if you're a pussy," Faith said, grinning.
"Oh, thanks Judas," said Xander.
"And hey," said Dawn, covering Eliza's ears. "Watch your language."
"Trust me, you don't want to hear him sing," Angel said. "It's not pretty."
"Hey, at least I don't sing Manilow!"
"Mock not the Manilow," Oz said, one finger resolutely in the air. "He writes the songs."
"The point is," said Hondo. "In the interest of fairness, I think you're gonna have to sing."
Xander grunted. "Dammit."
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End Chapter 19