Tony's POV

I sat by her casket. It was covered with roses... red and white ones. She had once told me that they were her favorite. By the power of suggestion, her mother and father had agreed to use them instead of the yellow tulips. I never liked tulips. Roses, they were a different story. Fair, beautiful, sweet, to the point... all qualities I thought Kate had possessed. She deserved a gorgeous ceremony and that is exactly what she had gotten.

I was the only one left; everyone else had already gone... including Abby. I never knew Abby cried, but apparently she does. I think she had shed more tears than any of us. I had yet willed myself to cry. It would only conclude that she was gone for sure, conclude that she wouldn't be coming back. When I first saw her body fall, I just stood there in shock, unable to move or breathe. Her normal puppy brown eyes had lost their luster, turned a lighter chestnut. I had watched as her face went pale and the blood around her head just became more and more. At first I didn't believe what I was seeing, but when I touched her skin, it was cold and dead. That is when the puddles of water had started to form in my eyes. I didn't blink for what seemed like forever because I knew when I did, it would cause a tear to fall and crying was a sign of weakness. I wasn't weak.

"I don't want you anywhere near my feet." Her voice echoed in my mind as I remembered how I had taunted her all the way to isolation. Teasing her had become like a part of my job. It was fun, but I never let it go to far. I never let it go far enough to hurt her.

Images from a few days ago flashed through my mind; that snake curling around Kate's leg. I loved how she had begged me to help her. For once, she was like the damsel in distress. Kate wasn't afraid of guns, fighting, terrorist attacks or even Gibbs, but she was afriad of snakes. I had wanted her to be happy with me so much that I lied to save my own ass. For a second she seemed like she forgave me. Thank God she had kicked me in the chest or else her and McGee would be on one of Ducky's autopsy tables. "She was there anyway DiNozzo," I reminded myself.

The freshly dug dirt lay in a large pile to the left of her casket. Five feet, just like Abby had requested. "Dare to be different Kate," is what Abby had whispered to her best friend before she walked away. It hurt to see the whole team falling apart like this, but what could I do? What could any of us do? Except mourn.

I grabbed a rose off of her casket and held it tightly in my hand. I wanted to squeeze it, so that it too would be lifeless like Kate, but I had enough of death. It followed me everywhere I went and I was tired of it. Instead, I placed it on her headstone which I now realized had a picture of her on it. Her face was perfect in a small heart. I could see the life in her smile and in her beautiful face... to bad it was gone. Running my eyes over her grave stone, I began to read the two descriptions. Everyone had agreed that she needed more than one.

"Semper Fidelis"

Clearly that idea had come from Gibbs.

The other was more personal and sent a sadness sweeping over me.

"A child of God with a heart of gold. We all hold her tightly in our memories and even tighter in our hearts. Her smiling face brought joy to our lives everday. Although she is gone, she will never be forgotten."

For a moment it felt like Kate was still there, like she wasn't lying lifeless in a coffin, but instead standing beside me... telling me to quit being so sad. I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. My heart was broken and there was no way to fix it because she was gone. It never got to tell her how I felt and that is what started the water works. For the first time since Kate died, I began to cry. Tears pouring down my face, leaving me sad and hollow inside.

I will always love Caitlin Todd.