Chapter 2: Yunie and Yuffie

"There's too many of them!" yelled a young woman of 19 years, with honey brown hair, who hit a bird-like fiend that attempted to attack her.

"Nah…we can take them!" yelled back another young woman, with long black hair, who round-house kicked a fiend with vast armour.

"Yuffie…be logical…" started the first young woman, who hit an oncoming dog-like monster with one of her twin golden guns, and turning towards Yuffie.

"Yunie…I'm telling you…we can take them…we have to. If we come back empty handed…" began the girl, whose name was Yuffie and then looked at Yunie, who was better named as Yuna.

"We won't. We just need another tactic," said the girl whose name is Yunie, with determination.

"You sure? Maybe you're right…I mean…look," said Yuffie, whom got back into combat stance…ready for the next oncoming fiend, with whom she sheathed her sword and decapitated it.

The two young women looked across the rocky landscape and spotted five to six predatory fiends, stealthily creeping toward them. Yuffie and Yunie turned and ran in the opposite direction.

"Where's the relic supposed to be?" asked Yunie, puffing as she ran.

"Erm…" began Yuffie as she fumbled around in what seemed to be a shoulder bag; but continued to run at the same time.

Finally after a couple of minutes she found what she was looking for.

It beeped loudly, which seemed to distort the fiends concentration and it lit up.

"…Aha! It's directly beneath us…" said Yuffie, who stopped running.

"Are you sure?" asked Yunie, who had stopped to catch her breath, "I mean….Fowl said…"

"I know what he said…but trust me…this is it!" said Yuffie excitedly.

Yunie looked at her sceptically, but then agreed, "Okay…how far beneath us?" she asked.

Yuffie seemed like she was trying to calculate something in her head.

"Okay…I have no idea how to read this thing." Exclaimed Yuffie finally, looking at the radar.

A red dot bleeped on the screen; on top of two larger dots. She shook what seemed to be a 'home-made' radar…especially 're-figured for this sort of use.

"Well there's no use shaking it…you'll only destroy it." Exclaimed Yunie, clasping the radar to stop Yuffie shaking it, "Besides…I thought you said Artemis was going to show you how to read it the other day?"

Yuffie, who was facing away from Yunie and looking at the fiends, froze guiltily. She turned slowly to face her best friend with a smile.

"…well…yeah…he was going to show me…and he did…afterwards," said Yuffie, a little embarrassed, "So anyways…I'll just ring him."

"Wait a sec…after what?" asked Yunie.

"Well…you know?" hinted Yuffie. "Anyway…can you just get his number for me so I can talk to him because as you can see…"Yuffie began, as she nodded her head towards the fast approaching fiends, "We don't have long."

"Oh right." Yunie began; looking at the fiends, "But I want to know more when we get back to the manor." She finished, giving Yuffie a cheeky glance before returning to saving their asses.

"Okay hang on a sec." Yunie continued as she whipped out her phone.

"Hey isn't that the F900iV?" Yuffie enquired.

"Oh yeah I bought it the other day." Yunie waved off as she concentrated on quickly punching in the correct number.

Yuna handed the phone to Yuffie as Artemis answered.

"Yes?" asked a cold and irritated voice on the other end.

"Hey Artemis!" exclaimed Yuffie quietly, so as to not arouse the approaching fiends.

"Yuffie? I expec…" he began, but seemed to realise something, "Oh yes…you left your cell here…how smart."

"Hey…be nice…" started Yuffie, but was cut off by Artemis.

"Why are you calling? You're supposed to be retrieving something…AND…I'm in the middle of something." Said Artemis coldly.

"Well…I don't know how to read this radar thing. The two co-ordinates are A 15 and B 12.5…so…how deep does that make it?" asked Yuffie quickly.

Yuffie could hear Artemis thinking out aloud for a few moments.

"1 metre and 26 centimetres…I thought I explained how to calculate it before…well…you know?" said Artemis, quietening down at the last part.

"Yuffie can we get moving? I kinda wanna see little Tidus juniors before I die." Yunie whispered quickly from the side.

"Oh…right." Said Yuffie quickly, glancing at Yunie.

"Um thanks, but I gotta go now." She said into the phone.

"Wait Yuffie. Don't you dare hang up on me!" exclaimed Artemis, but it was too late.

"Okay," said Yuffie and smiled, though Yunie knew that she was forcing it.

Damn Fowl…thought Yunie…it was probably something he said to her.

Yuffie passed Yunie her phone and they began to dig. Just before they proceeded to do so…Yuffie noticed lingering pyreflies floating around what seemed like baron wasteland.

She frowned.

Yunie knew Yuffie was wondering what happened to the fiends that were hunting them and tapped one of her gun holsters with a sly smile.

"Oh!" exclaimed Yuffie, realising that Yunie had taken care of the fiends while she and Artemis were on the phone.

Fowl Manor

2 hours later

Two hours later the girls were cleaned up and going about doing what they usually did. Although Yuffie had just been on a mission with Yunie, she still had to wait on Artemis for the rest of the day.

Yunie was tapping away on the, while Tidus was doing Yevon knows what. Probably outside in the courtyard smashing a few statues with his blitzball.

Artemis however was in his bedroom, examining the 'relic' that Yuffie and Yunie had successfully acquired.

"Hmm…interesting." Said Artemis himself, frowning his brow.

Suddenly he heard a loud bang that came from the direction of his window. He sighed; annoyed, as he knew exactly what it was.

Artemis stood up from his desk, straightened his tie and brushed invisible dust from his shoulders. He then proceeded toward the window. As soon as he got to the window he rolled his eyes.

"How predictable." Said Artemis under his breath; his anger rising yet again.

He flipped the security latch to the window and pushed it upwards.

"Tidus!" said Artemis; loud enough so that Tidus could hear him clearly.

Tidus, who was just waiting for Artemis to say something about the disturbance, had been standing down in the courtyard; just looking at the upper window of the manor.

He had been playing with his blitzball all afternoon and had 'accidentally' hit Artemis's window with it.

Tidus was trying desperately to portray the most innocent face that he could conjure, whilst at the same time, trying to hide his blitzball behind his back. Though if Tidus was where Artemis was, he would see the path of destruction he had made this afternoon.

"Hey Art Man!" exclaimed Tidus loudly, from down below.

It was then that Artemis reduced his eyes to mere slits and said in a low tone, "Please refrain from calling me 'Art Man'."

Tidus smiled cheekily and brushed away the icy words, as he moved onto the next conversation.

"So…how's Yuffie?" he enquired, as he began to bounce his ball on the ground, completely forgetting that this was the problem in the first place.

Artemis lifted his chin slightly and glanced upwards, "She's fine. Going about her usual duties."

"Aha…and would one of those 'duties' include a make-out session?" Tidus smirked, as he stopped playing with the blitzball.

Artemis's eyes widened; not being able to believe that these words had slipped through his mouth.

But then again…it was Tidus.

He turned coolly towards Tidus once more and said, "You really have no shame, do you?"

Tidus shrugged and began bouncing his ball again, "Well not really…I guess."

"Clean up that mess!" Artemis said at once, trying to change the subject, "You have no respect for art …do you?" asked Artemis, his temper still rising.

"Err…what art…Art Man?" asked Tidus happily, oblivious to his surroundings.

At these words, Artemis clutched onto the bottom of the window sill in anger, but would not show this to Tidus.

He sighed, ignoring Tidus's repeat of that ridiculous nickname.

"Look around you! Are you completely blind? Or just plain stupid? There were ten statues of late Michel Angelo's portrayal of David…now there are only four. Have you any idea how long those statues have been in the Fowl family?" asked Artemis, at the end of his tether.

Tidus seemed thoughtful for a minute and then shrugged, "Well I guess everything must come to an end at some stage. Besides…why do you want a bunch of naked guys outside your window anyway?"

Artemis looked away, "You clearly do not appreciate art."

"It's not that big of a deal is it? I mean you've got money. Just go find another place that sells nude men." Tidus suggested with an evil smile.

"You are missing the point?" Artemis began; purposely ignoring Artemis last comment. "These were worth more than you could ever earn in your entire being. Now look at them." Artemis said as he gestured towards the piles of rubble surrounding Tidus.

Tidus looked around with the ball in hand, "Yeah, they look pretty crappy now huh?"

Artemis rolled his eyes for the third time that day. He couldn't believe how incompetent Tidus was and simply turned away and shut the window; leaving the fool to his activities.

A/N: This is the second instalment of "The Fowl and The Fool". 'We' being "Yunie" and "Yuffie" have decided that this is not going to be a parody anymore…it is going to be a serious story with a real plot.

Enjoy the second chapter.

Yunie and Yuffie