Chapter 3

Christine's Decision

Author's note: This chapter is in Christine's point of view, and the events are taking place during the events of the previous chapters. I hope that you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Me claiming to own the Phantom of the Opera is like claiming that I have Gerard Butler locked in my closet. (or do I?) EVIL LAUGH

And now, on with the story…

Christine numbly joined Raoul on the gondola stationed in the middle of the Phantom's lair. Raoul immediately reached for her, and she leaned into his embrace, grateful for the support. She had never felt so drained, emotionally and physically. She turned slightly, looking from left to right about her, trying to memorize her surroundings. She wanted to save this moment; imprint it in her memory so she would never forget.

Christine remembered her first time to the Phantom's home. She had been petrified by the darkness surrounding her, but that was before. It was before he began to sing in his melodious voice; a voice that had always inspired her and captivated her. He had sung of the music of the night; and Christine had believed with all her heart. As she looked now, she could see the unearthly beauty of the night that she had once dreaded. Confusing and conflicting thoughts were running wildly through her being, and Christine turned her face toward Raoul's wet shirt. He hugged her, and she was content for a moment. She had so many emotions flowing through her head and her heart that she couldn't concentrate on what she should be doing at the moment, and she allowed Raoul to guide her. Christine closed her eyes and let her spirit soar, and she found that the embrace that she was sharing with Raoul was not the embrace she wanted…No- that was foolish. She couldn't want the Phantom to hold her as Raoul was holding her now. It didn't make sense! Christine abruptly pulled away from Raoul, and thought on the kiss that had sent her soul reeling into confusion.

The first kiss she had shared with her Angel had been fire and ice, love and hate, solitude and companionship. But the second kiss had been a shock to her. Didn't she only kiss the Phantom to save her fiancé? In that last kiss, she knew that she had given the Phantom a part of her that was never to belong to another man. She had poured her heart and soul into his own, and had understood his loneliness, his despair, and his love. In that moment, Christine would have done anything that the Phantom asked of her, anything at all. But all he had done was tell her to leave. The Phantom had sent her away. After all this time, just when Christine had finally figured out her true feelings for her Angel, he had brought the veil of confusion back again to cover her heart.

Christine grimaced. The pain in her heart only intensified when the Phantom appeared before her. He was distraught and disheveled. As Christine turned the corner with Raoul in the boat, she heard his angelic voice, filled with pain and anguish, cry:

It's over now, the Music of the Night!

Christine, in that moment, felt as though she had her soul ripped aggressively from her body. She had to return. She didn't care in that moment if the Phantom had sent her away, she didn't care if he had killed someone, she didn't care if the mob came and killed her; the only thing that she could understand was that she now knew that this man meant everything to her. Christine believed with all her heart that God had created a soul-mate just for her, and that all she had to do was find him. She had at first believed that the Phantom was her Angel of Music, sent by her father to protect her, guide her, and love her. Ever since she was seven years old, her Angel had came to her, guided the cultivation of her voice, and had been the person that she came to with all her childish problems. She remembered her first fight with Meg…

Christine ran into her small room, crying furiously. She flounced on the bed, and leaned against the headboard. She could not believe her best friend. How dare she say that she was making up her Angel?

Christine felt a soft breeze; it ruffled her dark brown curls. She lifted her head, and said:

"Angel, is that you? I…I…need you! Meg said some really mean things, and she's supposed to be my best friend, and she called me names in front of the other dancers and then I got in trouble and came here."

Christine said this as fast as her eight year old body could. She was out of breath, and gasped from the effort of talking and crying at the same time. When she didn't get a reply, she burst out:

"Well fine! Don't talk to me! I guess you don't like me either. Did you hear what Meg said? Do you believe her?"

Christine turn over onto her stomach, and put her head in her pillow

"Maybe I am alone…maybe everything is in my mind. Maybe my angel…abandoned me?"

"…I wish Papa was here…"

She felt the breeze again in her room, but this time she didn't raise her head. Her melancholy was overpowering. How could this small child carry the weight of such sadness?

"Christine…"

"Angel?" Christine asked timidly. She looked cautiously from her pillow, and noticed that the candles in her room had gone out. All she saw about her was darkness, but she was used to it. When ever her Angel came, the lights went out. Christine didn't understand, but right now she merely wanted to hear her Angel.

"Christine, I could never abandon you. Listen to your Angel. Dry your tears."

"Angel I was so scared, I needed to talk to you more than ever. Please, I need yo-" Christine started, talking very fast. Suddenly, Christine felt a finger press against her lips, quieting her. Her angel had never touched her before, and she found that the touch was very cold and smooth against her lips. She fell silent immediately.

"Hush child! Listen a moment. You will never be alone. I will be here for you as long as you want me to. I am there with you everywhere you go."

The Angel's voice was light and musical. It embodied confidence and love. Christine started to relax. Christine sat up on her bed and tried as hard as she could to make out the figure in the dark that she knew was there. It was as if the Angel knew what she was trying to do, and was purposefully keeping to the darkest corners of her room.

"Now, my dear, tell me what happened between you and Meg." The Angel's voice was soft and sincere, and Christine started talking at once.

"We were about to start practice with Meg's mother, and I yawned this huuuge yawn, and Meg was like, 'Why are you so tired?', and I was like, 'Because I was talking to my Angel last night', and then she got mad and said I was a stupid-head, and that Angels only talk to God and that I was just trying to be special and so I thumped her leg and she ran and told her mom and I got in trouble and sent here." Christine spoke with indignation. She couldn't believe that she had been the one to get into trouble. She still could feel the lashes that Madam Giry had put on her legs. The Angel seemed to know this, too…

"Did Madam Giry…punish you, my dear? Did she whip you?" The Angel's voice had changed a little. He had a sense of urgency, and maybe…anger? Christine wasn't sure.

"Yeah, just a little. Two lashes across my backside. She said that no matter what anyone says to you, you can't hurt someone for it. I feel bad that I hurt Meg, but she hurt me first! I don't want her to be mad at me, Angel."

"My dear, everything will be fine. Tomorrow I want you to go to Madam Giry and say that you're sorry that you disrupted class. Tell Meg you're sorry too, and I'm sure that you can be friends again. You did the wrong thing, dear, but you will be forgiven."

"Angel, I'm sorry…you're not mad at me, are you?" Christine asked timidly.

"Of course not Christine! I could never be angry with you. However…I don't think that it's a good idea that you tell people about your Angel. Some people might get jealous, and you don't want to get into another fight with Meg, do you?"

"No, no no I don't want that…OK Angel, I'll keep it a secret."

"Good, good. I'll be your secret Angel"

"Secret and strange Angel!"

The Angel's warm laughter filled her head and heart, and Christine felt all the sadness drain away from her. She suddenly felt very sleepy, and she turned to lay back onto her bed.

"I love you, Angel." Christine said in a small, sleepy voice.

Christine felt herself starting to drift off to sleep, but then suddenly, in the darkness of her room, she felt her covers rise to cover her chin. She opened her eyes as much as the sleepiness would allow, and saw a tall figure over her. She was confused, and almost started crying again, when she heard her Angel's voice:

"Shhhh, my dear, go to sleep and dream of sweet, pleasant things. I will chase away your nightmares. Your Angel of Music is here."

Christine smiled. As she slowly drifted to sleep, she felt a sweet kiss on her forehead. She felt the telltale breeze, and when she peeked again, her Angel was gone…

He had cared for her for years. It wasn't until Christine reached the first age of womanhood that she began to notice a slight change in her Angel's manner with her. He was tender, affectionate, and became jealous so easily. When she first was taken down to his lair, when she first realized that after all those years he had been a man, a Phantom, she had felt betrayed. Worse, she had felt relief. Relief that the odd feelings that she had for her Angel weren't feelings for an angel, but feelings for a man. Was the Phantom, her Angel, her soul-mate? The music that had drawn them together was over now. Was that all there was? Christine knew the answer without much contemplation. She was drawn to him, and now she knew why. She loved the Phantom. Christine was no longer a child, and she now felt as if she had truly passed the point of no return. She had a decision. It was up to her to be happy in her life, and she was not going to let her love go to waste.

She woke sharply from her thoughts, and became acutely aware of where she was. Raoul had almost reached the landing of the Opera House. He pushed the boat as close to the edge as he could, and turned and offered Christine a hand. Christine took it, and stood, emotionless toward Raoul. Raoul reached for her, to embrace her, and Christine stepped away.

"I know this is not the proper place or time, but my heart will not let me take another step forward until we talk." Christine said suddenly. She looked Raoul straight in the eyes and saw the confusion and surprise there.

"Of course, Christine, anything." Raoul stated

Christine started toward Raoul, and then stopped abruptly, as if she had thought better of it. She merely looked at him and said:

"Raoul, I know that you love me-"

"Of course I do! Never doubt that for a moment!"

"No Raoul listen I'm trying to be honest and I know that-"

"Christine, you've had a horrible experience, maybe we should get you above ground, we can talk then…"

"Raoul, no! Just hold on for a minute."

Raoul seized forward and grabbed Christine's hand.

"Come my dear, we are going!"

"Stop Raoul. Damn it, won't you listen?"

Raoul dropped Christine's hand in shock.

"Christine…you just…"

"I'm sorry but I am no longer a child! You can't treat me like I am the same Little Lotte that you knew before. I have been through so much since then! Father is dead Raoul, and when he died, Little Lotte, the girl that you loved, died as well. You don't know me enough to know if you want to marry me. And I don't know you well enough…it could never work Raoul, and you know it. I am not the right type of girl for a Vicomte to marry. And don't say that it doesn't matter, because I know it doesn't to you, but I know alright? I have to follow my heart, and I can't marry you. I'm sorry."

Christine ended her speech a little shocked and out of breath. She stepped slowly back a little from Raoul. She dared to look up into Raoul's eyes, and she saw the pain…and the acceptance.

"You were very brave to tell me this. I know it must have been a difficult decision. I have asked too much of you, my dear Christine. But please know that I will always love you. You always have me."

Christine ran the short distance between them and hugged him tight.

"Please, help me find Madam Giry."

The both turned together and ran up the stairs, anxious to see the damage of the chandelier crash, and to find Madam Giry.

Raoul ran, leading Christine behind him. Raoul did not understand the true reason behind Christine's need to see her mother-figure. Christine had to return to her Angel, and Madam Giry was going to help her.

NOTE: Christine doesn't mention her Angel of Music to Meg again until she asks Christine about her "great tutor" in the beginning of the musical. I don't know if this will be significant later, but I just wanted to add it.

To: the.ingenue: I realized after I had posted the first chapter that I had gasp misspelled Erik's name. I can't believe I did that. Thank you for letting me know about it. I have corrected the mistake.