Disclaimer – I do NOT own any of these CHARACTERZ! They are owned by JK ROWLING, who is not only a far better writer than ME (just!) but manages to steer WELL clear of unnecessary CAPITALISATION!!!! GO JK!!!

LOL!!!

THIS WHOLE STORIE IS DEDICATED TO HELEN!!! SHE RELLY LOVEZ FANFICTION!!! HOPE U FEEL BETTA SOON!

So'z then, shall we begn?

Hahahah plz dnt flame me!!! I need at lst 12 affirmations of my own self-worth (reviews) before I will deign to continue.

LOL!!!

So ReViEw AwAy ThEn GuYz!!1 I LoVe YoU aLl!!!!!

Anywayz...

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Hermione was on the train. Outside the hills were green and brown and rolled off into the distance for miles and miles even though it was misty and getting dark you could see quite a long way by the light of the moon which was almost full (A/N that's called a 'gibbous' moon, I just looked it up! How smart am I!?! Lol) and it was beginning to rain big ol' fat rain as Forrest Gump would say even though it was supposed to be summer that's pretty fucked up isn't it lol. Her compartment was empty. But for her owl, Johann (A/N Hez sooo cute too...!! LOL) who sat on the window ledge of the train, sat her owl. Suddenly, the door opened and who was to walk in butt (dun dun DUNNNN) Draco Malfoy. Now Mione had n't seen draco all summer, and boy had he changed! Two short months before when they were mortal, sworn enemies, she would just have spat in his beautiful, godlike face but now... she was stunned. (A/N Know how she feels hahahaha some peeps think author notes aren't necessary but I feel they add to the poetic resonance of the piece. Review wit yo thoughts, guyz!)

Draco had always been herculean in his appearance, girls just fell at his feet on a daily bases, but now he was just so LUSH! He had carefully spiked his hare and looked so COOL!!! Used gel and everything. He had clearly been working out, he was soo hottt! As for his personality, he was still a homicidal maniac with a masochistic streak wider than the M25, but that's hardly a concern when he's so damn FIT!. As for mione, she was for allmost a different person too! In the space of the summer she had aged about ten years in psysical appearance, yet receded a good half-decade or so in terms of intellect.

'Such is life', thought the narrator,hurriedly taking another line of cocaine before returning to his keyboard.

Draco sat down next to Mione.

"Heya Granger, fancy seeing you hear" he sneered

"Oh shut up, malfoy"

A pause.

"So, you're hot now mione."
"yes I am." Mione said, the unexpected flattery causing her, quite naturally, to forget years of unbridled hatred, "and you're not too bad yourself."
"yes mione. Girls cannot control themselves in my Adonis-like presence. It's really a bit of a bore, but then I suppose I'll just have to struggle through with it one day at a time. So, wanna make sex?"

"yeah ok. I mean, we are hot and stuff, we shouldn't stand in the way of what could well be true Love!" repplyed mione, inwardly confused at her completely unbelieveable u-turn in both personality and appearance (but in possession of such a remarkable lack of morality or self-restrait that in the end it really didn't matter).

Soon they were at it like a pair of rutting elks. Love is a beautiful thing. Espeically True Love, between two consenting minors; previously sworn enemies whose only thing in common is their mutual loathing for any thought that even begins to probe the blatant materialism of their empty, self-obsessed existences.

46 seconds later, draco took the last drag of his second post-coital cigarette and flicked it out of the open window.

"Right Mione, I'm off. Bye then"

"yeah ok. That was the greatest experience of my life let us do it again sometime or not if your busy or maybe we could just go for a romantic picnic and see where things take us its entirely up to you my love maybe we could even just meet up after class one day and have a talk-

The narrator sits back and winces as his hands start to go blue and twitch uncontrollably, unused to this complete disregard for the full stop or, indeed, any redeeming features whatsoever

Draco nodded, only slightly disconcerted as hermione gasped for breath and toppled off the chair, exhausted after finishing such an impossibly long sentence and suffering the beginnings of the lung strain that would plague her until her dying day.

G2G I'm afriad! More soon! NEXT CHAP IS A SONGFIC FOR THE RASMUS'S 'IN THE SHADOWS'!!!! I want at least 47 reviews!!! ThAnKs GuYz! Lovez ya all !!!